by R. G. Angel
I nodded. I did understand, it just took me by surprise. I turned my head and frowned when I noticed Antoine slip into the cloakroom.
“Mike, would you excuse me?”
He nodded and I walked as silently as I could with my stilettos clacking on the marble floor.
I looked around before going into the cloakroom myself. I didn’t need to be found in a compromising position with the biggest flirt in town.
I gaped at the illicit scene happening in between the racks, Antoine was kissing someone with so much passion, it made me blush.
He broke the kiss and turned toward me, paling as soon as his eyes connected with mine and I noticed the young flustered waiter against the wall.
He wiped his glistering lips with the back of his hand. “Esmeralda it’s not-” He stopped, there wasn’t much he could have denied – this was not the kind of kiss you shared with anyone other than someone you desired deeply.
I came into the cloakroom to find secrets and I found a deadly one – one I could probably use to get anything I wanted.
But no matter what, it wasn’t something I would use, ever. I would not sink that low. I would not become them.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, turning around briskly exiting the room.
“Esmeralda, wait!” he called after me.
I kept on going as fast as I could in those damned heels.
“Esmeralda please,” he huffed ,catching my wrist, nudging me to a stop.
I turned around, wide eyed still reeling from what I’d discovered and looked at his worried face.
“Please,” he begged, pulling me further down the corridor.
“I won’t tell anyone Antoine, I swear.” I whispered trying to calm him. “I would never –”
He sighed with relief looking heavenward. “It’s complicated.”
I smiled kindly resting my hand on his arm. “It really isn’t, you can’t choose who you love.”
He smiled back but there was so much sadness in his smile, it almost broke my heart. “Not in our world Esmeralda, not in the life we lead.”
“But,” I looked toward the ballroom. “I thought your father had the reputation of being more open minded.”
He laughed, but it lacked humor. “Compared to Astor and Forbes, yes he does, but it’s a pretty low threshold. My father suspects,” he admitted. “Where your father would have sent me into one of those torture rehabilitation camps without a second thought, my father said what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. It’s his way to say I can love whoever I want as long as it is a secret to the world.”
“Is he expecting you to get married?”
Antoine rubbed his jaw and nodded. “And to produce an heir.”
I detailed him with incredulity. “How?”
“Close my eyes and think of Channing Tatum?” he suggested in an attempt to lighten the mood.
I chuckled. “I’m more of a Ryan Reynolds kind of girl.”
He rubbed his chin in a thoughtful gesture. “Yeah, that works too.”
We were both laughing when Caleb joined us, his lips thin with disapproval, his back straight, muscles tensed.
“I’m sorry for interrupting the cutest moment in history,” he scowled, before throwing such a mean look at Antoine I half-expected him to drop dead on the floor.
“Oh no, it’s alright.” Antoine winked at me. “Esmeralda and I can finish this later,” he added seductively.
I knew he did it to annoy Caleb, and it worked so perfectly I looked down at my shoes to hide my smile.
“You’ll see my fist in your face before that day comes, St Vincent.”
I rolled my eyes. “What do you need, Caleb?”
He pursed his lips so hard they became a thin white line on his face.
“Except you by my side at our own engagement party?” he asked snidely.
“Except that,” I confirmed.
His nostrils flared, Don’t push it, Esmeralda. I could almost hear him in my head. “Theo’s leaving, he wanted to say goodbye to Meme.”
“Oh!” My face lit up at the mention of Theo. “Of course! Let’s go.”
“You know, one would expect someone’s face to brighten like that for their fiancé, not his brother.”
“Even when the fiancé dislikes the fiancée, but the brother adores her?”
Caleb threw me an irritated side glance but didn’t add anything as he led me outside to where Mike and Theo were waiting beside the car.
Caleb stayed behind as I hugged Theo and promised to meet him as usual on Wednesday to play Avengers vs Justice League.
I turned around after saying goodbye and was surprised to find Caleb leaning against a tree, his hands buried in his pants pockets, the epitome of cool.
“Can I help you with something?” I asked with as much cordiality as I could muster. I walked toward him but kept a safe distance, not that I feared he would hurt me – at least not physically and certainly not in public.
“I owe you an engagement present.”
But you already gave me so much I wanted to sneer. “No, you really don’t.” I crossed my arms on my chest, feeling the weight of that stupid engagement ring on my finger. It was not the weight of the ridiculously big diamond that pulled me down, but the weight of this prison it represented.
Caleb’s eyes slid to my ring as if he knew where my thoughts were. He left his spot against the tree and closed the distance between us, keeping his hands in his pockets.
“I insist – anything you want.”
What I wanted was my freedom, something I doubted even he could provide me.
“Well in the limits of reality,” he added quickly. “Freedom is something that neither of us can get.” His tone was harsh. I wasn’t sure if it was because he couldn’t escape this or because his ego was wounded at my desire to break this ‘great match’.
“I want a normal day.”
He frowned. “A day?”
I nodded as a plan formed in my mind. A plan he was most likely going to shut down, but I had to try anyway.
“Yes, a day, just the two of us, in Port Harbour. A day where you will not be Caleb Astor and I will not be Esmeralda Forbes. A day where we will be just Esme and Cal - two people who are not rich, just normal teens who are engaged because they love each other and not because they are forced to be. A day where you pretend not to hate me.”
“Could you pretend not to hate me?” he asked with a challenging smile.
At least he was not shutting me down. It was already better than I expected. “I don’t hate you, Caleb.” I admitted truthfully. I didn’t hate Caleb or Archie. No, I was angry, hurt and somehow resigned, but most of all I was sad for them. Sad for the childhood they had, what a loveless life turned them into. I kept wondering what it took to turn that luminous boy into the cold, dark heart standing in front of me.
His eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What do you have to win?”
“A sweet memory, something that will stay with me and I’ll be able to call upon when the days are rough.” The best lies were always tinged with truth and none of my words were lies. I didn’t want my experience of this world to be all bad. Once I escaped, I wanted to have some good memories. I had Taylor, I had Theo – maybe I could have one good day with Caleb.
“It’d be an artificial memory, a fake one – how would this be worth anything?”
How could I explain to him it was as much a present to him as it was to me? I wanted him to see that there was some good in this life, some fun, a certain carelessness I was pretty sure he’d never experienced before.
“This is stupid” he continued, still eyeing me with suspicion.
I shrugged. “For you, maybe. You asked me what I wanted, this is it. You’re always saying you’re a master manipulator and that people only see what you want them to see. Make me believe in Cal, make me believe you care, make me believe I matter… make me believe you love me.”
Uncertainty showed on his face before he looked away toward the
house, to the remaining guests leaving his home, I knew my father would come for me in a minute. The charade had been a success and I couldn't help but wonder what my father was going to give me as a reward.
“Choose something else,” Caleb demanded, finally looking back at me, his face full of determination. “Jewellery, cars, clothes…”
I sighed, yeah, I should have known that all he could give was money – he was too far gone to even pretend. I shook my head. “No, I’m not into stuff.” I forced a smile. “Thanks anyway for considering it.” I pointed toward the house. “Almost everybody is gone now, I better go meet my father. Bye, Caleb.”
I walked away, my back straight, and I could feel his eyes on me the whole way inside.
Chapter 14
Walking Brentwood’s halls on Monday after my engagement, I felt like I was in a fishbowl with this giant diamond on my finger.
I hated the weight of the speculative looks on me, the glances full of venom the girls were throwing me were oppressing.
I usually let them slide, but I was an emotional mess after everything and I just wanted to forget it all. But how could I do that when I was under the spotlight?
Also it had been easy to deny it was real whilst nobody knew about it, whilst I didn’t have his ugly ring on my finger reminding me every second of every day that if I didn’t disappear I would be stuck as a decorative socialite wife like my mother before me and I could feel the despair that transpired in the journal settle in me.
Everything was real now, it was in the newspapers, it was on my finger, it was in people’s eyes – I belonged to Caleb Astor.
“Just smile,” Taylor appeared beside me. “They are just jealous bitches,” she added, giving one group of girls a matching glare
“Because of Caleb?”
“Damn, no. The cake was amazing!”
I laughed, leaning against her as some of my anxiety faded. “Thank you for being here.”
“I was meant to ask on Saturday night but you disappeared, can you actually walk?”
“Walk?” I frowned
“With that rock on your finger.” She rolled her eyes. “Leave it to an Astor to pick the most obnoxious ‘look-at-me’ piece of jewellery.”
“Yeah…” I grimaced, looking down at my finger not admitting it was my pick. “It’s not so bad.”
She laughed. “No, it’s ugly. Don’t need to pretend you like it because it’s a Carbonite. I know we do lots of ugly stuff.”
“Yeah… it’s not the best,” I admitted.
She sighed as the teacher called us back to order. “You’ll see, by lunchtime it’ll be old news.”
The morning classes went fast enough and I was relieved when lunchtime came along. However, the chatter died away when Taylor and I entered the cafeteria as scores of eyes chartered our steps.
“Old news, right…” I muttered as we gathered our food.
She shrugged. “Oh, who cares, plus you need to give it a few days before everyone gets bored. Caleb is the first of the kings to ‘settle down’,” she said using quoting fingers because we both knew I didn’t intend to continue with this charade forever. “In a few weeks something stupid’s going to happen and you’ll be forgotten.”
“Why don’t you create news too, then? Why don’t you start another story, you know, take one for the team?”
“And how do you suggest I do that?” she asked with a teasing smile, popping a cherry tomato into her mouth.
“Maybe you could start dating Antoine.”
She started to cough, slapping her chest. She shook her head. “Antoine St Vincent?” She snorted. “Yeah because that’s…” She shook her head again. “Pass.”
I detailed her, the way she avoided my eyes and seemed to be much more engrossed by her Mediterranean fish than by me.
“You know…” I trailed off
“Know what? That he is a huge flirt?” She nodded.
I frowned; Taylor didn’t care about other people's opinions. This was probably why she rarely lied and it was best for her because she really sucked at it.
“How do you know?” I asked again.
She detailed me. “You really know?”
I nodded. “He didn’t tell me.”
She glanced at the King’s table. “He doesn’t know I know. I didn’t think he would appreciate it. He works so hard to keep his secret. It was one slip-up at New Year’s two years ago, I witnessed something on the balcony I shouldn’t have seen.”
“With me it was in the cloakroom.”
She chuckled. “He really needs to learn to be more conscious of his surroundings.”
“You should tell him you know. He needs someone to talk to. It’s a heavy secret to keep alone.”
She looked toward him again. “I’m not sure he is ready to share.” She sighed, resting her elbow on the table and her cheek in her hand. “All of them have secrets,” she chewed on her bottom lip, as if it was something she’d pondered more often than she’d liked. “The three of them, they act like kings, like the world belongs to them, they think they're untouchable, but the truth is they’re just as breakable as we are… just as scared.” She took a deep breath looking at my brother with a longing she was trying to hide. “I think they are even more damaged than we are and I think they’re too far gone to be fixed.”
I popped a piece of chicken into my mouth and chewed while I was trying to figure out what to tell her. I tried before to find out what really happened with my brother and it had been the only time I saw happy, friendly Taylor turn defensive and elusive. I wouldn’t push it again.
I shrugged. “I don't think that's true – I’ve seen flashes of goodness in them. Ah, just think about it, OK?”
“OK,” she replied but I could see she was just humoring me. Maybe I should tell Antoine that she knew the truth and let him take the first step.
The conversation had taken a much heavier turn than we’d both expected and we finished lunch in companionable silence, both lost in our own thoughts – me trying to figure out how to divert the unwelcome public attention I was getting.
“Can we just get out of here?” I asked as soon as she was done with her food, mine barely touched.
She looked at my plate, her eyes full of concern. “You have to eat, Esme.”
I sighed. “I had a big breakfast and we can stop somewhere after school if you want, I just want to get some fresh air before classes start again, it’s a bit stuffy here.”
She nodded, “Sure, no problem.” As we walked to the exit, I automatically looked at the Kings’ table and met Caleb’s eyes. He was frowning at me, his fork halfway to his mouth.
I looked away and kept on walking, was I supposed to tell him where I was going? Did he expect to keep tabs now that we were official? I sure as hell wasn’t going to… unless I was forced to. I grimaced at the thought.
“Hey, why the sour-” Taylor started but was interrupted by a snort.
“Ah, Queen of the Day,” the brunette girl sneered as she stepped out of the toilets with a couple of other girls. I never understood why girls went to the toilet in a group.
“OK…” I trailed off. She looked familiar but I wasn’t sure where I’d seen her before – probably in one of my classes.
“You might marry him, but he’ll still be mine, I'll still be the one sucking his cock and giving him pleasures you can’t even fathom.”
Ah, the girl from the party.
“Oh, beat it Aleksandra.” Taylor scoffed from beside me before I got a chance to reply. “You think you’re making yourself shine here? You’re basically admitting that she will be getting the name, the standing, the respect and all the advantages of being a Forbes-Astor and you’ll be the woman in the shadows, on her knees giving head to a man who thought you were not good enough to marry?” Taylor slowly clapped at her. “Bravo Aleks, yep, you’re really raising yourself up there... really.”
The girl hissed but the blush of anger on her cheeks showed that Taylor had hit the spot. “Nobody a
sked you, you fat –”
“Hey!” I stepped in front of Taylor ready to take a swing at that stupid bitch. Insulting me was one thing, I couldn't care less what she said about me, but touching my friend… “Listen to me, low-class ho –”
Taylor rested her hand on my arm.
“I think you’ve got a death wish.” Caleb’s dark tone was unmistakable.
I turned toward him, about to defend myself for being mean to his sex-toy but for once his dark look was not directed at me and damn, this one was a force to be reckoned with.
“What did I tell you Aleksandra?” He took a step closer, his jaw ticking with annoyance. “What did I tell you when you showed up at my house unannounced on Saturday night, the night of my engagement, begging for my cock?” He threw me a quick look.
Did he want a reaction? I kept my face blank as I took a step back. Was I jealous? I hated to admit that I was but I would rather have died than give him a hint of that.
She paled as the hall started to fill with students and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her and the wrath she was about to face.
“Let me refresh your memory,” he enunciated darkly coming to stand closer to me. “I said we were done, that I was done with you. I also said that you’re not to address my fiancée, denigrate my fiancée, hell not even look at my fiancée with anything other than reverence. By disrespecting her, you’re disrespecting me.”
“I just-”
He raised a finger to stop her. “Whatever you’re planning to say I’m not interested. You’re barely first generation in our world, you’ve got the stink of nouveau riche, which is barely acceptable. Don’t push it, don’t try me – your family will not recover. And you know me well enough to know this is not a threat but a promise.”
He said all that in an even, almost eerily calm tone which made it so much more terrifying, we all knew he had both the power and the drive to carry out any of his threats. “Now leave,” he added, dismissing her.
I turned toward him, not able to reconcile the image of my cold bullying fiancé with the protector standing beside me.
“Thank you,” I let out sincerely. “That was nice of you.”
