by Viva Gold
“Suck me, motherfucker,” I taunted him. “Put that mouth to good use around my fat cock.”
Slav snorted. I heard the snot gather in his throat then felt the wetness hit my cock as he spat it out. As it drooled downwards, Slav leaned forward and engulfed my length in one deep throated moment. I groaned.
Tolya stood behind me with his hands over my shoulders as he twisted my nipples relentlessly. I had never really been into pain, but this was exquisite. Every nerve ending was on fire. My balls drew up and the tell-tale tingle at the base of my spine grew stronger as my climax built.
Slav swallowed. Tolya pulled my nipples hard as he sank his teeth into the pulse points on my neck. It drove me wild. I arched my back and shot my load hard into Slav’s mouth. Tolya laughed. Slav released me and spat my come into my face, before he too began to laugh. A torrent of abusive words flew at me. The most revolting, offensive insults were hurled at me one after the other while I continued to orgasm. I couldn’t stop coming. The worse they were, the more it excited me. The heights of ecstasy continued to consume me.
“TAL!”
I jerked upright. I was sobbing hysterically. Bastien was shaking me trying to wake me up.
“Oh my God!” I cried. The nightmare had felt too real. It was horribly vivid still.
“It’s ok. You’re ok. Try to calm down.” Bastien smoothed my hair and cupped my face. “We’re going to go upstairs. Do you need Liam?”
“Upstairs?” I hiccupped. “Wwwhy are we going upstairs?”
Bastien chewed on his lower lip. I was reminded of a time I wanted him to put a stop to that nervous habit. Now I was glad of the signal that he was anxious.
“Just let us go to your room.”
I frowned. Bastien was behaving oddly. “Tell me why we are going upstairs.” I sounded harsh even to my own ears. He shrank back a little and I regretted speaking to him that way. I shifted on the sofa and…oh, fuck. I looked down. The front of my pants were soaked. I inhaled and the smell of my ejaculate filled my head. I swallowed hard.
“A wet dream?” I cried. “A wet, fucking dream?” I was desolate.
“It is nothing,” Bastien tried to console me.
“I’m not fucking twelve!” I roared at him. It was too much. I was mortified with shame. “Get out!” I yelled. “GET OUT!”
Bastien scrambled off the couch at the force of my words. I was immediately sorry for putting that look of fear and horror on his face, but I couldn’t make myself say the words. I was sitting in a pool of my own spunk. My arsehole throbbed like a motherfucker, and my lips had split again. I was not in a good frame of mind. My eyes welled up, again, for the love of God, and my chest grew tight.
“No fucking way.” A panic attack was coming. I tried to remember Liam’s remedy but my mind clogged too quickly. I was grappling at the collar of my t-shirt. My skin grew clammy and my vision blurred. I was dimly aware of Bastien running out the room. I couldn’t blame him. I was too much of a mess to cope with; I knew it. I tried to stand but my legs gave way and I crumped to the floor in a heap. I was gasping for air. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I felt like I was going to die.
My world spun. Literally. A set of strong arms hauled me off the floor and over their shoulder. I grunted, still in the full throes of my panic attack, but was aware that Liam was carrying me somewhere. Moments later my back hit a soft mattress. I opened my eyes to discover I was back in my room.
“Count,” Liam instructed. He had a Dom voice similar to Izzy’s. I was compelled to obey.
“One.” My voice was husky.
“Two,” Liam urged.
“Two,” I complied, and so it went on. At thirty I was finally able to breathe on my own. “Thank you.” Liam merely nodded. I could tell he was disappointed in me. I dropped my eyes.
“We’re all here to help you, Tal. I get that you are traumatised, who wouldn’t be? But don’t be a cunt about it, eh? Bastien doesn’t deserve that.”
My hands flew to my face as I started crying again. I was an emotional wreck. I mourned the loss of my cocky, carefree former self. I abhorred feeling so vulnerable. Liam batted my hands away and cupped my chin. “The only way to get past this is to lean on those around you and accept their help.” I nodded. “And counselling. Believe me, therapy will help.” I nodded again. Liam stood up and left. I noticed Bastien hovering by the door.
“Sorry, baby, I’m so sorry,” I blurted out amid fresh tears. He ran to me and put his arms around me. “I think you should leave me. I’m not good for you now.” I was a hot snotty mess, but Bastien never tried to pull away. He held me until I stopped weeping. “Sorry,” I reiterated my apology.
“I get it. I really do.” Bastien looked sad. “I am the one who is sorry for reacting like a scared little rabbit. I know you would never hurt me.”
I shook my head violently. “You are too precious. I don’t deserve you.” I cuddled him to me. I felt him reach for something on the bedside table and the next thing I knew he was dabbing at my mouth with a soft tissue. I winced. He smothered my lips with more lip balm which soon soothed the sting.
“Try not to aggravate the cuts. They keep opening.” Bastien looked pained.
“I need to shower,” I told him.
“Perhaps a bath? Then I can join you, non?” Bastien blushed adorably and it warmed my heart.
“Oui?” I agreed. And he grinned happily. “That’s better.” I brushed his face with the back of my knuckles. “I like to see you smile.”
“You make it easy for me to smile,” he replied. I doubted that very much, but it was sweet of him to say it.
Bastien hopped off the bed heading for the bathroom. I lay there listening to the running water until he called me to get ready. I sat up and placed my feet flat to the floor. I was shaky but stable enough to make the short distance to the bathroom. Bastien was hardly visible beneath all the bubbles. I laughed at him. “You look cute.”
He chuckled. “Do not think that I am a child under this ‘cute’ exterior. I know what I want.” I lifted my eyebrows at such a bold statement. It was unusual for him to be so forward. “I think you need to hear that, so you remember I am not fragile. Scared sometimes, c’est vrai, mais…” He hesitated, “But mending.”
I was so proud of him for owning his feelings. He set a fine example. I was a lucky man in many respects, despite what I had recently endured.
Bastien stood up in the bath and gestured for me to join him. “Be careful, Monsieur.” It was strange to hear him address me that way, but he seemed ok with it so I let it go. I peeled down my sticky lounge pants and stepped out of them with a look of disgust. I grabbed my t-shirt by the hem and dragged it over my head leaving it in the pile. I noticed Bastien staring at me at the same time his lower lip disappeared between his teeth. It was fucking hot to see the desire in his eyes. I was covered in welts, bruises and paddle marks, but mystifyingly, he saw past them.
The bath was a massive claw footed tub, but there was a stool to step onto making it easier to get in. Bastien held up his hand as a guide. “Ouch that stings,” I hissed as I slotted in-between the V of Bastien’s legs. His arms captured my waist and he pulled me in close.
“Lean your head back.” Bastien placed his palm on my forehead directing my head to his shoulder. I closed my eyes as he licked and sucked at my throat. It felt good. The warm water had begun to feel amazing, leaving me feeling a little weightless.
“Hmm.” I was beginning to get aroused. The thought panicked me.
“Shush. Don’t overthink, just go with how you feel.” I nodded. “Want to give you good memories,” Bastien reassured me. I tried to focus on where I was right now and who I was with. Snapshots of my few hours in captivity crept into my thoughts every now and then, but Bastien was doing a good job distracting me. His hands caressed my skin with care not to aggravate any sore spots. He massaged my shoulders and arms and rubbed soothing circles around and around on my chest and stomach. I relaxed into his body, concentrating ha
rd on the passage of his magic hands as they journeyed south. I tensed a little as his fingers brushed through the hair on my groin. His touch was non-threatening and so light, I wasn’t anxious at all.
“This is ok?” Bastien whispered.
“Uh huh,” I grunted back, unable to form proper words, I was so chilled. I lifted my hips slightly as a hint for Bastien to continue. I was keen to erase the memory of the abuse I had recently suffered, with something precious. I trusted Bastien. I was half in love with him if I was being honest with myself. I wanted him to be the one to heal me. “Touch me, baby,” I pleaded. “Make me forget.”
Bastien kissed the side of my head. I twisted my face to meet his lips and he licked at the seam of my mouth with the tip of his tongue. I opened to let him in and the familiar taste of him made me hum with joy. I sucked on his tongue greedily, eliciting moans that made my cock swell. He was so goddamn sexy. His alabaster skin was glowing pink from the heat in the bathroom. His hair was damp and pushed back off of his face. His unique amber eyes had turned dark with desire, almost obliterated by his blown pupils. Evidence of his arousal was prodding me in the back. It was an erotically charged moment that I burned into my brain for safe keeping. I knew in the dark of night when my terror was at its peak, I would be reaching for this memory to soothe me.
Long, lithe fingers circled the head of my cock, teasing me with feather light flicks and twists. It was exquisite. I moaned into Bastien’s mouth, feeling his smile. He pulled away to shower me with rapid-fire words in French that I didn’t understand, but I think he was too far gone to realise. I didn’t mind, it was damn hot to know that pleasuring me turned him on so much.
“Harder, Bas…I need…” I covered his hand with mine and pumped my cock hard. “Oh fuck, that feels…”
“I want to sit on your cock, Tal. Monsieur, may I?” Bastien was biting his lip shyly. I could feel his tremors at my back. “Is it too soon? Are you too sore?”
His nerves brought me back to reality. I had to remember that Bastien too was a survivor of abuse. He had suffered far worse than me, and yet, he was able to push aside his own torment to accommodate my needs. My heart squeezed in my chest. He was such a beautiful person on every level. I swirled around in the water to face him. I wanted to see his eyes to know if he was being serious, or if he was merely trying to be what he thought I needed.
“Is this something you want to do? For you, not me?” I croaked. My emotions were running high once more. He placed his hands either side of my face. His eyes bore into mine.
“I told you that I love sex.” I nodded, recalling our time in the Manor gardens. It felt like a lifetime ago rather than just days. “C’est vrai, Tal. Et avec vous…” He sighed. “I want to very much.”
I studied his expression. I took in the rigidness of his cock braking through the surface of the bath water. My mouth watered. We were in this together.
“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” I told him. He stood first and nimbly got out of the bath. He waited to assist me. I was pleased to note that the heat of the bath had eased my muscles somewhat. They were definitely less achy.
“I added lavender oil to the water. It is supposed to aid recovery,” Bastien told me. “Sanjay gave me the bottle.” He picked up a vial on the vanity unit to show me. “He said to use it often.”
“Ok. Good then.” I could care less for banal conversation at this stage. I was eager to get to the good stuff. I tugged him by the hand and dragged him to the other room. He giggled at my pathetic attempts to go all caveman on him. I was too wobbly for the most part, but enough of my strength had returned keeping me from actually keeling over. Bas had grabbed some towels and managed to throw them on the bed before we both toppled onto the mattress. I laughed at his tangle of limbs. His cock had softened and was a bit floppy when he bounced. For some reason, I found that extraordinarily erotic. It was a pretty penis, just like Bas. Not too long or thick, but perfectly proportioned from tip to base.
“I love your cock.” I kissed it for emphasis. Bastien giggled and pushed me away. He shimmied up to the head board and crossed his legs. He looked like a little kid ready for story time. I wiggled up to him and grinned. “I bet I can make it hard just by looking at it.” Bastien scowled and crossed his arms. I snorted and continued to stare at his cock. It twitched. Bastien gasped. I licked my lips and his cock plumped a little bit. I narrowed my eyes and exhaled slowly. He grew harder. I chuckled; Bastien huffed.
“How are you doing that?”
“I have magic powers.”
“Pah!” Bastien scowled again. His cock was fully erect and the longer I stared at it, the more it reacted. First it jerked, then a bead of pre-come appeared from his slit. My mouth watered once again as I yearned for a taste, but I wanted to drive him out of his mind before I touched him. I wanted him to beg me. I needed to make sure he really wanted me to fuck him.
“You have the most delightful balls. Small and tight and round. I bet they would fit in my mouth just perfectly.”
“Mon dieu.” Bastien banged his head back against the headboard. I watched as his Adam’s Apple bobbed as he swallowed repeatedly. He was close.
“And I can’t wait to get a taste of your arse. I want to rim you so badly. Can I do that before I fuck you, Bastien? Would you let me touch you there with my tongue?”
“Fuck!” Bastien cursed. “That’s my favourite!” His face lit up. “Would you do that for me?” He opened his eyes and shot me a look that made my heart skip a beat. He was trying so hard to trust me. I nodded slowly. “One of the boys had to do that to me when Henri had guests. They wanted to watch us.”
My face fell.
“Non, non, you don’t understand. It was the best time. He only wanted to watch, and Quatre, I mean, Pierre, he made it so good for me.” It was a lot to take in. Izzy had told me that the boys weren’t called by their names; Henri gave them numbers instead in order of their capture. Angel was Cinque.
“What was your number?” I rasped hesitantly. I wanted it to be a high number. I prayed for it to be a high number.
Bastien bowed his head. He inhaled sharply. “Trois.”
“Three?” I choked.
“Oui. I was there for a while.”
How to kill a mood. My throat closed. My heart ached. I couldn’t comprehend what his life had been like at the hands of such a monster. My ordeal paled pathetically in comparison. I had no right to be so morose over suffering for a few hours, when Bastien had been taken for years.
“How are you so ok with it?” I asked him.
“Oh, I assure you I am not at all ok with it. But I refuse to let that man have one more second of my liberty. I will not lose more of my life to him. I want to live without his shadow always hanging over me. It is so hard, but you…” I held my breath waiting for his accusation? Declaration? I had no clue. “You have given me the most hope.”
“Hope?” I repeated. I was utterly captivated by this awesome young man.
“Of course. You are amazing. You are successful and clever; handsome and funny. And kind. You can have anyone you want, Tal, but you picked me. I am nothing special, but you have seen something in me that is attractive, non?”
Bastien wasn’t saying these words for sympathy or attention. He was merely stating what he believed. I sat up, wincing slightly at the jarring movements that worried my wounds. I sat facing Bastien mirroring his pose. I clasped his hands in mine.
“You are special.” Long black eyelashes fluttered. Predictably, Bas rolled his lower lip between his teeth. “Before I met you, I was quite frankly, a total slut. I fooled around with someone different every weekend. I never had a proper boyfriend, nor did I want one. And I never took anyone home.”
Bastien’s eyes widened. “No one?”
I shook my head. “You’re the first.”
“Oh, wow.” Bastien’s hands flew from mine to his mouth.
“You’re such a joy, Bas. Somehow, you haven’t lost your innocence, or your ability to remai
n positive even in the face of utter depravity.” I grinned. “I really like you a lot. I don’t want to save you or protect you, or be your Daddy.” We both snorted at how ridiculous that scenario would be. “I think I’d just like a boyfriend, if that’s ok? You’re smart and affectionate; very easy on the eyes…” I winked at him and he blushed. “Extremely fucking sexy, and great fun.”
“You want to be my boyfriend?” Bastien asked with more than a note of disbelief.
“Yup, I think we’re good together. I think there’s an amazing future waiting for us.”
“You do?” Bastien asked. “I mean, of course there is. But have you really thought this out?”
“Come here.” Bastien straddled my lap. We both stretched out our legs and it pushed us very close together. I felt his cock stir back to life, as did mine.
“It’s not going to be easy. I think we could both benefit from some counselling, but how do you feel about travelling?”
Bastien looked shocked. “But what about work?”
“Do you work?”
He shook his head. “I don’t have any money. Mr Woolf and Mr Cohen have a LGBTQ+ centre where I help out. They give me a room and food. I’m not ready to be on my own, so it suits us all.”
I pondered on our situation. It was certainly unique. In reality, we had only known each other a really short time, but the connection was strong, and I was certain we were destined to be together forever. I mentally berated myself for thinking foolish things. It was too soon.
“Tell me what you are thinking,” Bastien encouraged. He peppered sweet little kisses all over my face, studiously avoiding my cuts and bruises. The painkillers were beginning to wear off and my cheek bone was throbbing like hell. But nothing would deter me from my course now that I had put it out there. It had never occurred to me to take a sabbatical. I had always loved my job, or more accurately, the funds I roped in from the deals I brokered. It allowed me to live a frivolous lifestyle, going from one nameless fuck to another. I flitted from party to party wearing designer clothes, driving my ridiculously indulgent car, drinking too much, existing without any true compass. Suddenly, it all seemed pointless. I despised myself.
