Bonding With the Beast

by Evangeline Anderson

  She sighed. “Kat, are you really going to make me tell the whole story again? I know it sounds crazy—we were abducted by aliens.”

  “By little gray men, no less—real Area 51 type stuff,” Kat said. “And they made you have sex?”

  “They said they wanted to study our mating habits.” Isobel paced up and down her bedroom as she talked, holding the phone to her ear. The townhouse was finally quiet and it was well after midnight. She’d had a time getting Brandon to settle down and go to sleep—he’d been over-excited by the change in routine.

  “Mating habits, huh?” Kat said.

  “I know, I know…” Isobel raked a hand through her hair. “It sounds like the plot of a crazy science fiction porno but please Kat, you have to believe me—it happened.”

  “Listen doll, after some of the stuff I’ve seen, I’m not gonna play the crazy card on you,” Kat said reassuringly. “But if you had sex, then I’m assuming you probably bonded. So what is Commander Hail doing up here while you’re still down there on Earth if the two of you had bonding sex?”

  “Bonding sex?” Isobel asked blankly. “What’s that?”

  “It’s the way Kindred tie their mate to them for life,” Kat explained. “It’s different for different kinds of Kindred. With some, it gets pretty complicated but with others, well, they just have to, uh, come inside you. Did he, you know, do that?”

  Isobel blushed as she thought of how drenched the sensible cotton panties she’d been wearing under her black pencil skirt had been when she finally got a chance to change.

  “Um, yes,” she said in a low voice. “Yes, he did.”

  “Well, I’d have to ask my friend, Mei-li but I think that’s all it takes with the Dark Kindred. But…you don’t hear him inside your head?”

  “Inside my head? You mean the way I heard you when you were calling me on the Think-me?”

  “Sort of,” Kat said. “But more intimate. It’s a kind of telepathic bond all Kindred males share with their mates. After you bond, you can talk mind-to-mind for the rest of your life.”

  “Really?” Isobel said doubtfully. “Well, that sounds nice I guess. But no, I haven’t heard Hail’s voice inside my head. And I wouldn’t know how to go about trying to contact him, uh, telepathically even if we did have a bond—which I don’t think we do.”

  “You just kind of reach for him mentally—I do it with my guys all the time,” Kat told her.

  “Well, I don’t feel any ‘reaching’ from his end and I’m not about to reach myself,” Isobel said.

  “You might just be out of range,” Kat said thoughtfully. “Or maybe something’s blocking you somehow. I don’t know—as I said, a lot of the little details vary from Kindred to Kindred.”

  “Look,” Isobel said directly. “I didn’t just call you to gossip about the really weird alien-abduction sex I had, Kat. I’m calling to let you know I think Hail blames himself for what happened. He was talking about turning himself over to the authorities and I don’t want that.”

  “Turning himself over to the authorities?” Kat exclaimed. “Holly crap, doll—what kind of wild monkey sex did the two of you have that he thinks he ought to be prosecuted for it?”

  “That’s just it—it really was wild in more than one way,” Isobel said. Rapidly, she told Kat about the beast Hail kept locked inside himself and the way it had come out during sex.

  “Ouch!” Kat exclaimed when she was done. “I know you can’t see me but I’m over here wincing, and I get with two guys at once on a regular basis. That just sounds painful.”

  “It was a little—at first,” Isobel admitted. “But when I was able to relax it was just really…intense. Really emotional too. I was crying when it was over because it made me feel so…” She shook her head. “Just so many things I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. Anyway, I think that the crying and the fact that his beast came out and took over are what made Hail think he’d…you know, gone too far.”

  “Yeah, I can see where he’d get that idea,” Kat said dryly.

  “Anyway, I just don’t want him to get in trouble for it,” Isobel said. “It was rough and really intense but I don’t blame him for it. And…and it was pleasurable too,” she ended, almost in a whisper. “I know that sounds weird…”

  “Not really.” Kat sounded thoughtful. “Really good sex can be like that—it breaks you down and wears you out. I think anyone who’s ever had sex with a Kindred has felt that, or something like it because the emotional connection is so strong.”

  “I’m glad I’m not alone in feeling that way,” Isobel said, feeling better.

  “You’re certainly not,” Kat said. “I know my friend Kate had a similar situation to yours but her hubby is a Wulven Kindred—they have a kind of werewolf-full-moon thing going on and the only way for her to get preggers was for her to get busy with his beast.” She laughed. “Long story short, she’s thrice expectant now—that means she’s carrying triplets in Kindred talk.”

  “Wow…I didn’t even think about pregnancy,” Isobel admitted. She felt a thrill of fear go through her. “I’m not even on the pill anymore since I left Mitch.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about it,” Kat said comfortingly. “Kindred babies don’t usually show up unless it’s the Goddess’s will. And if you’re not bonded to Hail, I can’t imagine she’d stick you with his baby.” She cleared her throat. “Speaking of which, why aren’t you with Hail?”

  “What do you mean?” Isobel asked, trying not to sound exasperated. “Because he doesn’t want to be with me. And because of all the weirdness between us now.”

  “But don’t you want to be?” Kat asked frankly. “I mean, it sounds like you formed a pretty strong connection, even if you didn’t bond. And if this whole thing about the rough beast sex is just a big misunderstanding…”

  “You don’t understand—Hail doesn’t want anything to do with me.” Isobel thought of the big Kindred’s stern, impassive features when he’d asked her to just go and leave him alone. Her throat felt suddenly tight with unshed tears. “He…It would never work between us.”

  “Because of his beast?” Kat asked frankly. “Are you worried about Brandon?”

  “No,” Isobel said, sniffing. “I mean, I was in the beginning and you’d think I would be more worried now after…after what happened. But I’m not. Hail’s beast only comes out during times of really extreme emotional stress—he let it out on purpose while he was defending me. And then later it came out during sex because things got so intense between us. But I don’t think he’d ever let it out around Brandon.”

  “Then you should call him,” Kat exclaimed. “Clear this up—clear the air. Get your man and get knocked up with triplets the way the rest of us Kindred brides are doing.” She laughed but Isobel didn’t join in.

  “I just can’t, Kat,” she said quietly. “I just…feel like there’s no coming back from some things…some situations. Do you understand?”

  Kat sighed. “I guess so, doll. “But look, why don’t you just sleep on it? Give yourself a few days to process and then consider maybe giving the big guy a call?”

  “Maybe,” Isobel said but in her heart she knew that wasn’t going to happen. She and Hail had had their chance and things hadn’t worked for them. Even if Hail stopped hating himself, she was afraid he would hate her for the way she’d made him feel. And the things that had happened between them were so strange and outlandish…they were too much to come back from.

  No, Isobel felt sure that no matter how much time passed, the big Kindred would never want anything to do with her again. And knowing that broke her heart.

  Hail, she thought as she said her goodbyes and hung up with Kat. Hail, I’m so sorry things went the way they did between us. I wish we could have some kind of do-over—that we could go back in time and take a different way home, avoid the little gray men who made such a mess of our lives.

  But there was no going back and sadly, Isobel knew it. She would never see the big Kindred again.
/>   Chapter Twelve

  “There you are. Your new emotion damper is installed and functioning perfectly, yes it is, yes it is,” Yipper said. “I am sorry about the delay—it’s been a while since anyone asked to have a damper installed and I had to build one for you ‘from scratch’ as the humans say. But may I ask, Hail, how you got your original unit out so seamlessly and with no scarring? And why did you take it out in the first place?”

  “I didn’t,” Hail growled, sitting up on the side of Yipper’s exam table. His new damper was set on medium-high, allowing him to feel the pain and shame he deserved without letting his beast out. In the beginning, he hadn’t been sure he could bear the level of emotion he was experiencing, especially after what he’d done to Isobel.

  But though he now had the means to mute the negative emotions, he refused to do so. He had no right to turn off his hurt and misery completely—especially since the woman he had attacked had no way of turning off hers.

  “I do not understand. No I don’t, no I don’t,” Yipper protested.

  “You don’t need to,” Hail told him. “All you need to know is that taking the damper out was a disaster. It allowed my beast to roam free and he caused…incalculable damage while he was out.”

  “Oh dear, oh dear.” Yipper’s big, brown eyes were filled with concern. “And you do not wish to tell me what damage your beast did?”

  “The kind that forces me to turn myself over to the Justice of the Kindred High Council as soon as I leave here,” Hail said grimly. “I deserve the severest punishment for it and that is what I intend to ask for.”

  “Punishment?” the little Tolleg Surgeon exclaimed incredulously. “Hail, you cannot be serious! No you can’t, no you can’t!”

  “I am,” Hail said stonily. “I have requested a special meeting with them today and they have granted my request. I intend to go before them and lay my sins bare and ask for the harshest punishment they can give. They…”

  Suddenly he stopped. There was a feeling in his head…a growing feeling of wrongness. What in the Seven Hells was going on? Where was this coming from?

  “Now, Hail, I need to tell you about some special modifications I made to your damper—” Yipper began but Hail held up a hand to quiet him. The feeling of wrongness was getting stronger—it was a certainty now, a stone in his gut. Something bad was happening or was about to happen to someone he cared about.

  “Hail?” Yipper said again, frowning. “What is it? You look upset. Yes you do, yes you do.”

  “I don’t know.” Hail slid off the table and pulled on his uniform shirt. “But I’m going to find out.”

  * * * * *

  It started with a noise in the middle of the night.

  Isobel had been having uneasy dreams—her thoughts full of Hail. She’d told herself over and over that she needed to forget him but somehow she just couldn’t and she found that as the days passed she missed him more, not less. Often she woke from these dreams with tears in her eyes and his name on her lips—the longing for the big Kindred so strong it was like an iron fist around her heart.

  But this time it wasn’t sorrow and longing that woke her up—it was the noise.

  Isobel sat up with her heart pounding and her mouth dry. Was it just her imagination? A bad dream, maybe?

  But no—she heard it again, a scratching sound downstairs, as though someone was trying to get in the door. Or maybe had already gotten in.

  Heart in her mouth, Isobel scrabbled quietly at the bedside table, looking for her cell phone…only to remember that she’d left it downstairs charging on the kitchen table.

  “Mom?” Brandon was suddenly beside her bed, his voice low and worried. “Mom, what’s that sound downstairs?”

  “I don’t know honey but I’m going to find out.” Isobel said. Right now I want you to go back to your room and just—

  Suddenly there was a heavy tramping of feet on the stairs and her bedroom door burst open.

  “Oh my God!” Isobel grabbed for Brandon and pulled him into bed with her, shoving him behind her. She expected the intruder to lunge for her and she was ready to fight him to her last breath if she had to—anything to keep her son safe.

  But instead of pouncing on the bed, the hulking shadow, framed by the faint light from the hallway, flipped the light switch.

  The room was suddenly flooded with light from the ceiling fixture overhead. Isobel blinked, trying to adjust and she heard Brandon give a hurt little cry behind her. He was very sensitive to sudden changes in light or sound.

  “Who…what…?” she began and then finally, her eyes adjusted to the light and she found she was looking into a familiar face.

  “Hello, sweetheart,” Mitch said, giving her the angry grin she remembered so well. “I’m so glad I finally found you. Now we can all be together again.”

  But it wasn’t his face that Isobel was focused on—it was what he held in his hand.

  A gun.

  * * * * *

  Hail was practically running down the corridor headed for the docking bay when he ran into Commander Sylvan who was coming the other direction.

  “Commander Hail?” he asked blankly. “If you’ll forgive my asking, what are you doing here so far from the Council Chamber? I thought you requested a special hearing of the High Council?”

  “I did.” Hail paused for a moment but the feeling of wrongness and urgency was growing inside him and with it there was a strange little mental nudge, as though someone wanted desperately to talk to him. It was the same feeling he’d gotten the few times someone had Bespoken him using a Think-me—only much more intense. He was beginning to think he knew where—and who—it was coming from but he had to get in a shuttle and get closer to Earth to be sure.

  “But then…” Sylvan shook his head. “Why are you headed for the docking bay? We—those of us on the Council—were under the impression that you wanted to talk about the information stored in the memory of your shuttle’s main drive. A technician found it during routine maintenance.”

  “Information?” Hail frowned impatiently. He did seem to vaguely recall the little gray bastards who had kidnapped himself and Isobel saying something about giving them information about the Hive in compensation for what they had put them through. But his mind had been on other things—too much occupied by the misery of what he’d done to Isobel to focus on anything else.

  “Hail, are you all right?” Sylvan frowned at him.

  “No,” Hail said bluntly. “Forgive me, Commander Sylvan, there is a matter I must attend to on Earth. Please give my apologies to the Council and rest assured I will return to seek their justice once this is taken care of.”

  Sylvan studied him for a long moment, then nodded. “Very well—I understand. We can speak of what we found in your computer when you return.”

  “Thank you.” Hail nodded and his jaw clenched as the feeling of wrongness escalated again. He had to get down to Earth now! He dodged around Sylvan and continued down the corridor at a dead run. Whatever was happening, he just prayed he got there in time to stop it.

  * * * * *

  “Do you know how hard I worked to find you? Do you have any idea?” Mitch had them both sitting in their pajamas on the living room couch. He was pacing back and forth with the gun held in one hand—a loaded Glock he had informed Isobel in a pleasant tone, as though he was discussing the weather.

  “Mitch, please I just…I didn’t mean to…” Isobel began in a faint voice. Brandon said nothing at all. He was hiding behind her, his legs drawn up tight and she could feel his thin little frame shaking against her back.

  “Didn’t meant to what? Leave me and take my son? Ruin my whole fucking life?” her ex demanded, grinning in that crazy way that Isobel didn’t like a bit.

  Mitch had changed a lot in the year and a half they’d been apart. He’d always kept himself in good shape before and prided himself on being clean-shaven and well dressed. But now…well, if she hadn’t known him, Isobel would have thought he was a homeless
person.

  His formerly short hair was long and greasy as though he hadn’t had a shower or a haircut in months. His jaw was covered in a coarse, patchy dark blond beard and a prodigious beer gut was hanging sloppily over the waistband of his too-tight khakis. His clothing was stained, as though he’d dropped food on himself and hadn’t bothered to wipe it off and he stank—giving off the odor of stale beer and old sweat.

  The smell made Isobel want to gag when he got too close but she pushed back the nausea grimly. Something told her that her ex-husband was on a hair trigger and she didn’t want to do anything to make him more upset than he already was.

  “I looked everywhere for you!” Mitch ranted, pacing up and down the living room floor. “Every-fucking-where!”

  He’d been ranting and pacing like this for almost half an hour and the whole time Isobel and Brandon had been sitting quietly on the couch, listening in frozen silence. But inside, Isobel wasn’t silent at all—she was crying out for help to the only person she could think of.

  “Kindred form a telepathic bond to their mate,” Kat had told her. Isobel didn’t know if she’d formed a bond with Hail or not when they’d had sex—she hadn’t tried to find out until now. But since her cell phone was out of reach on the kitchen table and there was no other way to call for help, she was calling now at the top of what she supposed could be called her mental voice.

  “Hail,” she thought desperately, trying to send the thought and the sense of urgency she felt outwards. “Hail, please—Brandon and I are in big trouble. I know you and I didn’t part on a very good note but please, I need you now! Please come—please!”

  She had no way of knowing if her desperate, silent pleas were getting anywhere but she had to keep trying. Mitch was raising his voice and waving his hands around. If anything he seemed to be getting more upset rather than less.

  “Please, Mitch,” she said, trying to calm him down. “Just relax. Why don’t you let me get you a drink? I have some white wine in the fridge.”