by L M Adams
He steps close and guides me forward to rest gently on the table. I still can’t take a deep breath in. The pain of my sack and cock radiates up and out from my groin. He laid into me and did not spare an ounce of pain. The swelling alone will be horrendous.
“There we are.” He brushes my sweat soaked hair back gently. “Now there is truth between us.”
I nod, my bottom lips trembling.
“You want Daddy to tease your rose?”
Oh god help me no! Even in all of this pain, with my cock and sack beaten to high hell, with this heartache flowing through me – I will still get aroused. I can’t imagine the pain of my cock getting hard right now. Yet still, I nod crying.
His hand slides down to his hard length pressed against the dark jeans. I take in a shaky breath as he undoes his pants.
“I know the games you like to play. You are trying to anger me so that I rape you. It will not work, Capaneus, I will not to stem your rose until you give me consent.”
He moves behind me, and when I feel his hand grip the flesh of my ass to spread me, I groan low with my heartache and grip the table as tightly as I can.
I raise up on my tip toes when I feel the head of him press against my rose. I buck, god help me I can’t. My cock hardens and the pain in my groin turns from a dull ache to a sharp throbbing pain as my body pumps more blood into my fractured manhood to harden it for pleasure.
He grabs me by the back of my neck and pushes me back to the tabletop.
“Hear my words, Capaneus… if you give it to another… I do not know how I will react. I laid claim to Jaevia first and so shall it be with you! We will call this a hard limit, Capaneus. Play your games if you must, but there are rules… yes? Rules you do – not – break.”
I nod, screaming a silent scream, my cock burning with anger, my mind and body turned to nothing but a vessel of pain.
“I am your first! I am your last! I am your only! Say it!” He demands.
“You will claim my rose, as first, as last, as only.”
I feel him tremble behind me and breathe in deeply. He relaxes his grip on the back of my neck.
“Calm, calm,” He talks himself back from the edge, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him do that.
He keeps rubbing his massive cock against the sensitive flesh of my opening, so close to taking what I cannot give. Teasing us both with passions neither of us truly understand.
“Breathe, Capaneus.” He orders me low and I inhale sharply.
“I would tell you I hate having to hurt you like this – but we both know that would be a lie. It is hard to fight my own nature – to fight the sickness in me that wishes to take you as you scream in terror and pain…. Oh Ra,” he moans, “…if only I did not love you so.”
His own breathing is still ragged, and I feel his struggle to maintain control beat down on me. Having me like this, hurting me like this, awakens the hunger of his curse, a thing that can never be satiated.
“I want you so badly, Capaneus. It costs me much to wait until you are healed, it costs me much to not hate fuck you into oblivion.” His voice cracks and then suddenly he is gone.
The heat and weight of his body is no longer there. I believe he was very close to penetrating me, needing to claim me, needing to set down the law about who owns what and teaching me a lesson I will never forget.
Perhaps next time I will succeed in pushing him over that razor edge and perhaps some debts can finally be paid.
23
Jack
As good as his word he gives me much love, affection and aftercare.
He swaddles me up in the blanket before laying me down on the plush carpeted floor and joining me. It’s a bit ridiculous, swaddling me up. But this is his idea of aftercare, to be honest I think it’s for him more than it is for me.
I’m lying on my side, facing away from him, his large frame spooning me. Making me feel small and insignificant and yet so fucking safe and protected.
I hate and love that he can make me feel like this.
“Feed and heal, Capaneus. I do not wish for your pain to continue.”
He holds up his wrist for me and as I do as I’m told even if I wish to keep the pain for a bit longer.
The fact that he is the more dominant has never been lost on me. Sure, he’s a good boy, obedient and submissive when I take control. But I believe in my heart of hearts, that I am not so much taking control as he is giving it to me.
Somewhere perhaps it is more meaningful that he gives me his submission as a gift. Something outside of his core nature, something he does not give anyone else. But to me, it is another way my father was right – I’m not man enough to be a king.
I finish feeding and he wraps his arm around me again, his face buried in my hair as he whispers sweet words of love to reinforce our bond. He’s doing everything right, and even that I hate. Would I love him more if he was more… abusive?
“Do you feel better?”
If I’m honest with myself, this is the most relaxed I’ve felt since the Peter fiasco.
I nod my head. “A lot better.”
“Why do you not talk to me, Capaneus?”
“About what?”
“Things of importance. Why do you express yourself by flirting with another man instead of asking for heavy kink?”
In all honesty… “I’d rather not talk about it.”
He sighs, and again, I know I have disappointed him.
“It’s better if I don’t ask for it,” I finally admit.
“Asking for a session diminishes the experience for you?”
I nod, “I like the mind games. I like never knowing what will set you off or how badly I’ll be punished for it… I like not having the choice.”
“Is it the intimacy I am pushing for? Is this why you are so hungry for abusive sessions?”
Lucien wants too much, too fast, and I can’t quite figure out, when, or how, or why, our positions had changed.
“No…” I sigh, “I don’t know, maybe a little.”
“You are also very upset with Jaevia, is this the reason why?”
He’s reading me again, picking apart my issues one by one. I can’t even begin to build a wall around my thoughts to block him out. Not after the things he just did.
“I’m being an insecure shit,” I mumble.
“No, you are not…”
“I am, Lucien!” I snap.
He sighs, “Perhaps, but I am… an insecure shit as well. I do not beat myself up over it. I deal with it.”
I turn my head a bit. “How?”
“I was very insecure when Jaevia told me of her punishing Carter. That is how it begins with her; she hates you then she loves you. I cannot bear to share her heart even more… so I fucked the living shit out of her this morning and reminded her that there may be other cock in the world. But mine is better.”
I don’t even know where to begin with that.
“I am not like you, Lucien. I cannot just stomp in, fuck her to high hell, tell her no other vampire shall be betwixt her luscious thighs and then stomp off knowing my word is law.”
“You are a dominant man, what we do between us does not change that. Claim what you own.”
“It is not like that for me!” I snap getting angrier, but truly just frustrated. “I serve Lucien, my very nature is…”
“To not be a fucking punching bag!” He snaps back at me. “Yes, we both serve Jaevia, but she also loves me, she loves you, and the Wench cares about us as well. She has a lot of faults, and she makes horrible decisions, but whatever she does never forget she chose you. She loves you, Capaneus, but if you are unwilling to express to her what you need for happiness how can she give it to you?”
“It would not be my place as her primary slave, Lucien. The fundamentals of our relationship are different than you and hers.”
“Why is it not your place to express your feelings? This is not logical.”
“Not all feelings… just jealousy. She is my Domina, if she w
ishes to extend her harem with another vampire, that is her right.”
“Perhaps. But you have much say in her life, Capaneus. Help her find someone more to your liking.”
“I can’t tell her to not be with Demetri.”
“You can,” he says firmly.
I sigh making a mess of this. “You found a way to accept me after you saw the happiness and peace I brought her. Even when you hated me, you found a way to accept me in her life because that was what was best for her. You may be a jealous bastard, but not if you think someone truly helps her with happiness.”
He shifts and puts a bit of pressure on my shoulder until I roll onto my back to look up at him.
“Now… I understand Capaneus.” He nods. “You believe Demetri helps her be happy, and getting between them would be disloyal to her, because you wish her happiness.”
I nod, “The world spat her out, Peter destroyed her hopes. If Demetri helps her cope with it… shouldn’t I be happy? She is my Domina, her happiness is the most important thing to me and if Demetri helps relieve the stress… helps her deal with her darker nature… then it only reinforces his purpose and need.”
“But that is your purpose in her life, help her cope with the disappointments. Feed the darkness in her.”
I can’t help that my eyes well with tears again as Lucien tunnels to the core of my issue with Demetri. That he’s really replacing me.
“I’m losing her Lucien. But if I love her, shouldn’t I simply accept this?”
His hand comes up to cup my face gently. “I had to accept you because you offered her things I could not. You helped her in ways I did not understand how to do or how to be. You completed our love. Do you believe that irritating creature can offer her something you cannot? Help her in ways that you cannot? Is he needed to complete our love?”
“No!”
He simply nods and smiles. “Then remind Jaevia… and if you need to, remind him. He is a guest in our relationship. Set boundaries, Capaneus, ones that you can live with.”
I didn’t think to try that. Just make it clear some things she can’t do with him. It still smacks of me being an insecure shit, but maybe being a little insecure with a woman like Jaevia is okay. Even Lucien, a god amongst mortals, son of Ra, gets jealous over Jae.
What can’t I live with? They definitely can’t fuck, and… and he can’t have any of her blood, and he can’t stay over at the warehouse… and no more being included on family outings!
“I do not wish to point this out… but Demetri would not be a problem if you had let me kill him at Yule.”
I sigh, “You don’t have to remind me.”
Still, there has to be something said for Demetri’s loyalty. Out of all the purebloods I’ve known… and even loved over my lifetime, he is the only one that has consistently been here for us… for her… for me. Even if his motives are questionable.
Lucien grumbles, looking thoughtful. “Now I cannot kill him. Jaevia does not like it when I kill people for being irritating… and even threatening to kill her friends makes her very upset with me.” He sighs, “And I do not like it when the Wench is upset with me.”
Blood King help me.
“I don’t want you to get in the middle of it anyway. This is between Jaevia and I.”
“Very well, Bloodsucker. But I still believe you are worried for naught. Jaevia will not love a man such as him – how could she, when she has men such us?”
“I wish I could be confident like you.”
“Aye Bloodsucker, but we will get you there. I will spend much time reinforcing your worth.”
I actually crack a real smile.
He licks his lips. “You are the only man I want in my life.”
My stomach tightens. “Not now Lucien.”
“Five minutes.”
“Two!” I scream as he lowers his lips to kiss the side of my mouth and climbs on top of me, spreading my thighs. He uncovers my body as if he desires me truly and my heart pounds like it always does when he wishes to shower me with love… it pounds with the rhythm of sickness and depravity.
My cock has nothing left to give, but that doesn’t keep it from trying to orgasm as Lucien lavishes me with his tongue. I cry through it all, begging for him to beat me, he won’t even hurt me a little.
I count my blessings; he keeps it to the waist up and doesn’t fondle my rose. I don’t think I can stomach him touching me in that place with love. I need it to be in shame and pain – I pray to the Blood King that I can force him to rape me soon.
“Please,” I grit out between clenched teeth as he inches so fucking close to my cock it almost brushes against his cheek.
“A little more, I have to push you,” he whispers and grabs my hands, letting me squeeze his fingers as my body locks up and trembles.
“You are so fucking sexy; it’s killing me to wait.”
He breathes out over the wet flesh he’s just licked.
“I want you, let me have you, Capaneus.”
“You can do… whatever you want to me.” I cry out softly, my soul burning in need.
“One word, just say it for me.”
He wants me to verbalize consent – “I can’t.”
My father made sure I’d never give a man permission to fuck me for as long as I lived.
He hums low, “Very well, I have plenty of other places I can kiss.”
Before I can have another complete thought about what he means, he’s pulled away and turned me to my stomach.
“Oh god.”
I curl up the blanket and grip it tightly as I wish with all of my heart that I was anywhere but here. His body presses against mine as he straddles my left leg, the heat of him bearing down on me. I feel trapped, I can’t get free. All I can do is lie here and cry as his hand roams up my side.
“Open your thighs.”
I cry out as he brings up one leg, having me bend my knee. His fingertips glide up the back of thigh lightly. The plumpness of my ass is pressed against his crotch.
“Please, Lucien.”
“I’m sorry, my love,” he breathes heavily and begins kissing my shoulders, working is way over to between my shoulder blades, down my spine.
“If you loved me you wouldn’t,” I cry and beg.
“Because I love you, I do.”
He reaches my spot, my lower back, my root chakra, and lays a simple kiss on the dip. I moan like a wounded beast. Pain and pleasure there have always just done it for me. I’ll never know why.
Lucien’s power flows into me and I connect, to life, to all things… to him. He grounds me in his love while my heart and mind scream for me to escape this. That me, I, a fallen son, does not deserve it.
I’ve only known such horrifying power with Jaevia. How is it he can awaken this inside of me? I swear I taste the sweetness of my soul again.
The wish for summer days and green grass, the wish for life, a real life fills me. Not one masked in the night and caught in a tide of blood that washes away all hope. He makes me feel like a true son of Eve, but how can I be when I am one of the cursed sons?
This is not my blessing, this belongs to Able, the true son of Adam and Eve, not the bastard son she begot with Azazael, with the devil incarnate. I am the tainted blood.
I scream to the gods of old, “mercy!”
“It’s done, it’s done. Two minutes is done.”
“Please back off,” I beg him, teeth clenched, eyes squeezed tightly shut.
I feel the weight of him shift off of me and I grip the blanket tightly, trying to swallow the bile in my gullet. My heart feels as if it will burst out of my chest.
This isn’t like submission, the pain and shame there, making his touch so fucking enjoyable. He is master and I am slave and I live to serve. No, instead he wishes to fuck around with the order of things. – this kind of love is not my purpose.
He thinks in time my panic attacks will ease. But how could they, when everything my father taught me is true? When I am nothing but the greatest b
etrayer reborn?
I don’t open my eyes, but I hear the sound of glasses clinking on a table, liquid pouring, a moment later I feel Lucien’s presence beating down on me again.
“Here, drink, it will help ease it.”
I try to inhale deeply, barely managing it as I open my eyes, roll over and sit up. I don’t dare lift my head.
My shame is just that great.
“Look at me, Capaneus.”
Disobedience to his word is not something I am capable of right now… right now, his word is law.
I’m terrified of what I’ll see as I lift my eyes to him. But his features are impassive, no judgment there, no pity… as if kissing on the man he’s about to marry, and that man having a full-blown panic attack over it is completely normal.
I take the glass quickly and drink down a large portion of the alcohol, the burn loosening my chest. Finally I feel like I can breathe again.
“You didn’t throw up that time.” He says encouragingly when it’s everything but.
I sigh, “That doesn’t make me feel better.” I wipe my face, trying to get rid of the evidence of my weakness.
“Well it should,” he nods and puts his hands on his hips, “I am very proud of you.”
“Can we not talk about it,” I hiss.
He shrugs, “Very well. But I will have a full five minutes before bed this evening. We are making progress and I do not wish to retreat.”
“I just gave you two, I only owe three more!”
He shrugs, “Now it will be ten.”
“Lucien…”
“Fifteen.”
I shut my fucking mouth. He’s going to love me, even if he has to stuff it down my throat, he doesn’t need to be fair about it.
“Come, we must finish our fitting, I do not wish to hear you complaining about the schedule for the rest of the day.”
His matter-of-fact manner also helps normalize my mood. I’m not sure if his control feeds through our link and helps stabilize my own emotions. Whatever it is, I feel calm as I straighten up the lavish room. He didn’t bleed me, and he fed me every drop of come – it doesn’t look like my soul has been cracked open and my emotions tongue fucked like they were Jaevia’s pussy; so I’ll call it a win.
