Crazy man.
Without disturbing him, Emery stood and began to clear the table. While she went about cleaning up the rest of the kitchen, she snuck glances at him to see if he had so much as lifted his head.
He hadn’t.
By the time everything was cleaned and put away, she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do with herself. The decorator and her crew were coming back tomorrow to take the Christmas decorations away, so while Carter was busy writing, Emery decided she would get a head start.
For an hour, she worked on packing up the decorations in the dining room before moving into the living room. The tree was too big of a project and part of her really wanted to leave it up as long as possible, so she worked on the miscellaneous decorations from the mantel and coffee table.
The temperature outside was cool, but once she was done and Carter still hadn’t surfaced from his work, she opened the sliding doors that led to the deck and slipped outside. The sound of the surf always relaxed her and rather than walk down to the beach, she moved over to the fire pit and started it up.
“Thank you, inventor of the gas-flamed fire pit,” she murmured, sitting down on one of the large chairs flanking it. Curling her feet under her, Emery hugged herself to stay warm until the heat reached her.
Resting her head back, she looked up at the starry sky and sighed. This was their last night here and the thought of leaving was unappealing. Carter’s admission earlier weighed heavily on her mind. She had almost resigned herself to their relationship coming to an end after their weekend at his mother’s. Knowing he wanted to keep seeing her made her happier than she was comfortable admitting to herself.
It should have been too soon to consider getting involved with anyone again. She was still getting over Derek’s betrayal and their breakup. Was she foolish to jump into another relationship so soon?
Am I ready for another relationship?
Her immediate answer was yes. The truth was, her relationship with Derek had been failing for a long time. The only reason she’d stayed in it as long as she had was because of her parents.
The sound of the sliding glass doors opening had her turning her head. Carter stood there smiling at her, and suddenly she felt all the things she’d never felt with anyone but him.
Tingly.
Excited.
And very, very needy.
When he looked at her with one of his lopsided grins, Emery felt like she was looking at everything she ever wanted. Then he turned and motioned to the room behind him in surprise.
“I thought we weren’t taking anything down until tomorrow.”
Shaking her head, she laughed softly. “While you were over there no doubt getting a hand cramp, I decided to get a bit of a jump start on dismantling Christmas.”
Carter walked slowly toward her until he was sharing the chair with her. “I hate to see it all go. I think it looked great around here and it put me in a better mood. It inspired me.”
Relief washed over her. “I’m glad it helped.”
Kissing her on the forehead, he said, “You helped. All the rest was just a small perk and made for a nice background. Everything else was all you.”
So many thoughts raced through her head—things she wanted to say, ways she could respond—but for the life of her, she couldn’t utter a single word.
After a few minutes, he turned off the flame and led her back into the house. “But if this is our last night with the tree,” he said, oblivious to her thoughts, “then I say let’s set up camp out here tonight and sleep under the twinkly lights. What do you say?”
At first, she thought he was crazy. There was an amazingly comfortable bed in the next room and he wanted to sleep on the living room floor? “Umm…”
“When we were kids, Christian and I would camp out in the living room at least once while the tree was up. Our parents had no idea—at least, I don’t think they did—and we’d sit up and talk about everything we thought was under the tree.”
Her heart melted a little as she imagined a young Carter doing such a thing. “Did you ever get any of them right?”
He chuckled. “Only because we knew we’d always get new pajamas on Christmas Eve and at least three new sweaters. My mom is the master at using odd-shaped boxes so we couldn’t guess what was inside. One year she used empty cereal boxes and shoe boxes to confuse us.”
It totally seemed like something Eliza would do. “That’s very sweet.”
He shrugged. “What about you? Ever try to guess what was under the tree?”
“Honestly? No. There was never any…whimsy about the holiday. We gave our parents a list of what we’d like and we got it. There were never any boxes under the tree until Christmas morning.”
He pulled back with a look of utter shock. “Seriously? Not even a few for decorative purposes?”
“Nope. My mother thought it always looked like clutter, and she hates clutter.”
Dark brows furrowed as he studied her. “How did you turn out the way you did after growing up in that environment?”
Emery knew it wasn’t an insult. “I just knew that wasn’t how I wanted to be and I vowed that once I was out and living on my own that I wouldn’t be. Turns out it wasn’t as easy as I thought.”
Taking her by the hand, he led them over to the sofa, where they sat. “What do you mean?”
“For all my talk about making my own way, I let them dictate way too much of my life. At the time, I wasn’t aware it was happening, but now that I’ve had some distance, I can see it. It’s what I was thinking about while I was sitting out by the fire.”
He kissed her temple. “I’m sorry, Em. I really am. I hate that you have to deal with all of this, and I hate it even more that you have to go back there alone.”
She shrugged. “I have to do it eventually. I need to. Even if I decide to sell my place and quit my job, they’re still my family and I’m going to have to talk to them too.”
Then he pulled back even further. “Are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Are you thinking of quitting your job and selling your place?” It almost sounded hopeful.
Letting out a long breath was her first response. “My gut reaction is to say yes, but the reality isn’t going to be quite that easy.”
“Why not? You can find a job doing anything you want, anywhere you want! We could—”
“No!” she quickly interrupted, placing her hand on his knee. “I don’t want you or anyone helping me with this. It’s how I got into this whole place I’m in now. It’s time for me to do something on my own without any interference or help from anyone.”
“Em, everyone needs help. There’s no shame in it.”
“For me there is. I’ve let that happen too many times in my life and now I have to take a stand and do what I need to do, the way I need to do it.”
His expression was intense, but he didn’t say anything. She knew if she asked, he’d not only have a job for her tomorrow but a place for her to live and everything she could need. It wasn’t that she resented it, but it would be too easy to let him do it. For far too long she’d let people do too much for her—to the point that she didn’t recognize herself or the life she was living. She still had no idea how it would all go or how she was going to make the changes that needed to be made; all Emery knew was that it was time to sink or swim on her own. And at the end of it all, she hoped Carter would understand and be there for her.
With a sigh, she looked at him and offered a small smile. “You have already done so much for me. But when the weekend is over and you head your way and I head mine, there are things I have to do by myself. I hope you understand.”
He nodded. “It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there to protect you.”
Reaching up, she put her hand to his face—reveling in the feel of his stubbled jaw. “And I’m sure there wi
ll be times when I wish I had let you,” she admitted. “But the fact remains that until I learn to stand up for myself and face the fallout, I’m going to be stuck in this self-destructive pattern.”
Carter’s expression didn’t change, but his voice was gruff when he said, “You’re the strongest woman I know. And when you go home, you need to remember that and not let anyone try to convince you that you’re not. You’re strong and smart and beautiful, and they’re all intimidated by that. By tearing you down, they make themselves feel stronger. Show them what you’re made of, Em. Prove to them how wrong they are.”
His words made her want to jump up and do it all right now, but it wasn’t possible. Not when they had more important things to do.
“So are we going to move a mattress out here or something?” she asked, giving him a sexy grin and hoping he wouldn’t mind the abrupt change of subject.
His laughter was infectious. Standing, he grasped her hand and pulled her to her feet. “If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do.”
Together, they went into the bedroom and clumsily made their way back to the tree, pulling the king-size mattress. Sofas had to be moved, along with a coffee table and end table, but eventually they made it all fit. Next came the pillows and blankets, and by the time everything was in place, they were both breathless.
“That was a bit more of a workout than I was planning on,” she said, collapsing on the bed. Carter was still standing and looking down at her with amusement.
“How about I make us some popcorn to eat while we relax?”
Her eyes went wide, just like her smile. “Really? We’re gonna eat in bed?”
“Not only that, but I’ll get you a glass of extra-fizzy Coke if you’d like.”
Now she was practically giddy. Pushing up on her elbows, she asked, “Are you having some too?”
“I’m having a glass of wine, but I’ll definitely have popcorn with you.” His smile was sweet and wonderful, and just as she was about to get up, he held out a hand to stop her. “You just sit here and get comfortable. Five minutes and I’ll be right beside you.”
He turned away, but Emery jumped up anyway and ran into the bedroom to change. Most nights, they ended up naked, but tonight she was going to put on what she normally slept in when she was home alone—her boy-shorts and a tank top. When she left the bedroom a few minutes later, Carter was walking toward the bed, but stopped in his tracks when he spotted her.
She saw him swallow hard as his eyes raked over her. Unable to resist, she struck a sassy pose. “I thought I’d get a little more comfortable.”
“The first time I saw you at the condo, you were wearing something like this and that image is burned on my brain. I always thought you had a great figure, but that night confirmed it.”
After everything they’d shared since meeting up again, Emery thought she’d be used to him saying things like that. But she wasn’t. His praise of her, his compliments, always made her blush. Without a word, she climbed onto the mattress and made herself comfortable. When she was settled and sitting up against the pillows, she held out a hand to take the bowl of popcorn from him. Once she set it down, she reached for the glass of soda he’d poured for her. “Thank you.”
A curt nod was Carter’s only response before he walked back to the kitchen to grab his glass of wine. When he was back by the bed, he placed it on the floor before stripping down to his boxers.
And Carter looked really good in his boxers.
Slipping into bed beside her, he made himself comfortable before putting an arm around her and pulling her in close, balancing the bowl of popcorn on his lap. They sat in silence for several minutes, staring at the tree and eating their snack.
“If there were gifts under the tree right now, what would you hope was there?” he asked.
Humming softly, Emery considered her options. It had been a long time since anyone had surprised her with anything and the gifts she normally found for herself under the family Christmas tree tended to be of the more practical variety.
“Nothing practical,” she blurted out and then instantly covered her mouth and giggled. Carter’s dark brows arched at her response and it took her a moment to explain her theory. “Sometimes it’s nice to get something other than clothes or office supplies.”
“We always get new pajamas,” he said with a serene smile, grabbing a handful of the kettle corn. “I swear, we used to hate it, but now I look forward to it every year. It’s not Christmas without them.”
“What else do you normally get?”
He playfully tugged on her hair. “Oh no. We were talking about you. Now focus. Look at the tree and imagine there are dozens of beautifully wrapped gifts under it. What are you hoping is there for you?”
The mild huff of annoyance was out before she could stop it, but then Emery focused on the tree. “I would love a cashmere robe,” she said after a long moment. “Something so soft and warm and completely impractical, considering the only one seeing it is me.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“And I’d love to get some of those really great-smelling bath sets. You know, bath bombs and lotions and all that fun stuff. I love soaking in a nice hot bath after work sometimes.” She turned her head and grinned at him.
Nodding, he commented, “But you haven’t used the tub in the master bath. How come?”
Grabbing her own handful of popcorn, she shrugged. “Probably because every time I mentioned going to take a bath or shower, you showed up and dragged me into the shower with you.” It was said lightly—she didn’t want to offend him—but yeah, it would have been nice to soak in that big glorious tub at least once.
Carter kicked the blankets off and went to stand up.
“Wait, what are you doing?”
“Going to draw you a bath,” he said casually. “I know there’s no bath bomb, but I’m sure we can improvise with something and at least get you a bubble bath.”
Emery was instantly on her feet, knocking popcorn all over the bed as she reached out to stop him. “Carter…”
He looked at her like she was crazy. “What? You can’t tell me you don’t want to take a bath because there’re no bombs, Em. That’s ridiculous. Come on, let me do this for you.”
Grimacing as she stepped on some kernels, she quickly hopped off the mattress. “That wasn’t what I was going to say. I would love to take a nice hot bath, but…later. With you.” Her hands came up and splayed across his chest as she looked at him. “I was really enjoying sitting here and talking about hypothetical Christmas gifts and…well, I was curious to hear your answers too.”
Carter’s expression was full of tenderness as he looked down at her.
Not so much when he looked at the popcorn mess on the bed.
With a not-so-subtle sigh, he said, “Scoot. Let me clean this mess up while you go make another bag. Then we’ll carefully crawl back in here and talk some more. And then later…”
Up on her tiptoes, Emery planted a kiss on his lips. “Later we soak,” she said playfully and skipped off happily to the kitchen.
Five minutes later they were back under the blankets and she felt like this was perfect—this little cocoon they were in that she didn’t want to leave.
“So, cashmere robe and smelly bath stuff,” Carter said blandly. “What else?”
“Excuse me, I don’t think smelly is the word I used,” she argued lightly, but was laughing just the same.
“What else has Santa put under the tree for you?” he asked, rather than acknowledging her comment.
“Hmm…let me think.” Munching on popcorn, Emery thought about some of the things she’d always wanted but never got. When she giggled, Carter looked at her again. “Roller skates.”
“Um…what?”
“Uh-huh. Roller skates. I always wanted them when I was growing up and never got them. Remember the r
oller rink next to the middle school? Oh my goodness, I went to so many birthday parties there and I always wanted my own pair of skates, but my parents thought it wasn’t a necessity, so I never got them.” She pouted. “That and an Easy-Bake Oven.”
Carter immediately began to choke after hearing her admission, and it took him a minute to catch his breath. “Excuse me, but did you seriously just say you wanted an Easy-Bake Oven? Aren’t you a little old for that?”
“I’m sorry, are you ever too old to want to bake a tiny cake for a snack?” she asked sarcastically.
“Em, you’re an adult. You can go to a bakery and get all the cake you want. Why would you want to go through all the trouble of making one yourself that cooks with the help of a light bulb?”
Huffing, she pushed him away. “Now you sound just like my parents. Between the lack of tiny cakes in my life and the fact that I never got NSYNC’s No Strings Attached on CD, is it any wonder I have issues?”
He found that hilarious. “Don’t tell me, you were a Justin Timberlake fan, right?”
She gave him the side-eye. “Carter, we’re all Justin Timberlake fans.”
He laughed harder. “I hate to admit it, but you’re right. The man has some serious talent.”
“And he’s extremely yummy to look at.”
“Hey!”
“Deal with it,” she said, popping more kettle corn into her mouth. “JT is the total package. He can sing, dance, act, and is so handsome he makes me want to cry.”
His expression bordered on horrified. “Seriously? Cry? That doesn’t make sense!”
She shrugged. “To me it does.” Then she reached for her soda and took a long drink.
“I swear, I will never understand women,” he said, taking a sip of his wine. “I enjoy an attractive woman as much as the next guy, but no supermodel has ever made me want to cry.”
“Sure they haven’t.”
“What? It’s true!”
“Uh-huh,” she said mildly, resting her head on his shoulder as she ate more popcorn.
A Dash of Christmas Page 18
