Pulling her suitcase behind her, she walked up to the door and let herself in. The house definitely needed to be aired out and there was a bit of an unpleasant smell—it seemed fitting that this was what would greet her.
Diving right into action, she opened windows and then dragged her suitcase into the laundry room to start her first load. After that, she went to the kitchen and began making a list of all the things she’d need from the grocery store.
“Going to have to cook for myself,” she murmured, writing down some of her usual picks. As she wrote “frozen pizza,” she laughed softly. No doubt Carter would have a fit when she told him she was back to eating that. Then again, Carter had been having a lot of fits over the last several days over a lot of things. She knew he was only doing it because he cared and he was worried about her, but it bothered her that he didn’t seem to think she was capable of taking care of herself without him.
Well, considering her history in the last couple of years, could she really blame him?
Yes. Yes, she totally could.
With another laugh, she finished making her shopping list. Once that was done, she weighed her options—go shopping now and call her parents when she got back or call them first and then go shopping.
Knowing there were going to be harsh words, she opted to buy groceries first and save the aggravation for later.
Out in her garage, her car took a little while to start up and she was thankful she didn’t have to call anyone to give her a jump.
Driving through town, Emery felt a little uneasy. There was a good chance she’d run into someone she knew and then the questions would start and then… It was so tempting to turn the car around, go home, and order takeout to be delivered.
“No,” she said firmly. “I’m done hiding. I want my life back.”
Or at least a new life where she was more in control.
A life like she’d had with Carter. Or the life they’d had over the weekend with his family, where she was accepted by everyone and loved and encouraged the way she’d always wished for.
It was all possible. She’d been living it. So why should she have any fear about pushing her old self aside and letting this new version of herself—the one she’d always wanted to be—out? While Emery knew there had never been anything wrong with her, it was the way she let other people make her feel that was her biggest weakness. Now that she could see it so clearly, she was ready to release herself back into the world.
Carter had been so worried about her—but the only way for her to do this and do it right was on her own. He would be waiting for her when she was done. When she was ready. And then they could be together on a more level playing field—one where she wasn’t hiding and he didn’t need to watch out for her so much.
Although…she liked the way he took care of her. No one had ever done that for her before. No man had ever made her feel so safe and secure. No man had ever accepted her, warts and all, without looking to change her. Carter had accepted who she was, and though he’d tried to change her eating habits, that was the worst of it—and really, what was wrong with that? He was right! She made terrible choices in food and he’d spoiled her for the last month by feeding her gourmet home-cooked meals! And when she’d fussed at him—for no other reason except to be difficult—he’d caved and made her some of her favorite dishes! She loved the meals he made for her. She loved how he didn’t try to change her or tell her she was wrong for the things she felt. She loved him.
So why hadn’t she told him? Wouldn’t it have helped them these last couple of days? Wouldn’t it have put his mind at ease when he was freaking out over her coming here alone? Maybe, maybe not. For all she knew, it would have made him more adamant about coming home with her. And no doubt she would have stood her ground and done what she needed to do, and he would have been right there encouraging her and offering her support.
It was sweet, and it was wonderful how he wanted to do that for her, but deep in her heart, Emery knew she needed this for herself. When she saw Carter again, she wanted to be able to go to him free of her insecurities and emotional baggage. It would be good for them, but it would be great for her.
Her own peace of mind was what was most important here. Carter was going to love her no matter what the outcome was.
All the more reason she was in love with him.
Her foot pressed a little harder on the gas pedal, and by the time she pulled into the shopping center and parked, she was almost giddy with the thought of running into people. “Bring it,” she said, reaching for her purse.
Unfortunately, she didn’t get a chance to test her theory or her newfound bravery, and grocery shopping was as uneventful as it ever was. But she refused to let it get her down. Back at home, she changed the laundry, put her food away, and finally did what she’d been avoiding for weeks.
Grabbing her phone, Emery let out a long breath. “I am woman, hear me roar,” she declared as she pulled up her parents’ number and hit Call. Her mother answered on the third ring.
“Emery! What a surprise! It’s been weeks since you deemed me worthy of a phone call,” her mother said in a tone that was perfectly sweet though her words were tart.
Don’t let her psych you out.
“Hey, Mom,” she said with equal sweetness, walking over to sit down on her couch, then ultimately thinking better of it and pacing. “How are you?”
“Fine, dear. Just fine. And you?”
Ugh…she hated pleasantries. “I’m good. Really good,” she added for emphasis. “And I’m home.”
“You are?”
“Uh-huh. Just got back today, in fact.” She paused. “I went grocery shopping, started my laundry, and now I’m airing out the house since it’s been closed up for so long, but yeah. I’m back.”
“It’s about time, Emery. I mean, honestly, it must be nice to shirk your responsibilities and only worry about yourself.”
And amazingly enough, that snarky comment was the opening she had been waiting for.
“You know what? It was nice,” she replied with a bit of an edge. “You see, I had to worry about myself because nobody else was!”
“Now, Emery—”
“Do you know what it’s like to have your whole world come crashing down and your heart broken and find out the people who are supposed to love you—the people who you count on most in this world—don’t give a damn about you or your feelings? Do you have one tiny bit of a clue what that feels like, Mom?”
“Well, I…um…”
“Not only did I find out that the man I was supposed to marry was a cheating dirtbag, but I had to find all that out with the news media watching!” she cried. “And instead of helping me, you told me to go out there and smile for the cameras so Derek didn’t look bad. You were more concerned with his image than your own daughter!”
“Emery, I…it was—”
“It was awful and horrible and so damn wrong of you!” Emery interrupted. “My whole life I wanted nothing but to please you and Dad. I was a good student, a good daughter, and when I needed you both the most, you opted to be on Team Derek. And for what, huh? Because you wanted so badly to be part of some sort of political dynasty! You wanted it so badly you sold out your own child! And to that I say shame on you!”
She was breathless and found she was wandering from room to room the entire time. Was there some response she was waiting for? Yes—an apology! A logical explanation! Anything! But after a full minute of her mother saying absolutely nothing, Emery decided to keep unleashing.
“I had to go into hiding to get some peace. Do you have any idea how humiliating that was? None of my friends around here wanted to take me in because they didn’t want the media attention, and you only agreed to let me stay if I played by your rules and went to stand by my man. Well, you know what? Derek’s not my man! He never was my man. And he never will be my man. That is over and you ne
ed to accept that!”
Silence.
For all Emery knew, her mother had put the phone down and walked away, but that didn’t mean she had to keep quiet.
Oh no—there was plenty more to say.
“Then there was Derek’s lawyer tracking me down and trying to blackmail me into going to court. Did you send him there? Did you tip him off to where I was?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Emery. I had no idea where you were. You said you were going to Martha’s Vineyard.”
“Then tell me, Mom, how did he find me? How did he know where I was? You were the only one I had talked to!”
On the other end of the phone, she heard her mother sigh. “Derek’s attorney hired a private investigator. They have one on retainer. He was the one who found you in Manhattan. You wouldn’t answer most of my calls, and I did try to warn you—or at least I was going to try to warn you. If you had simply answered your phone, Emery, we could have avoided having anyone show up on your doorstep! And really, the Montgomerys? You went to the Montgomerys for help? You hate their son. That…Carter. Eliza’s a very nice woman and we were sorry to hear about her husband, but they’re nothing to you! Why would you go to them for help?”
“I didn’t go to them, Eliza reached out to me, and I am so happy she did,” she explained with an almost maniacal laugh. “I had no idea where to go and what to do. You weren’t helping me and I had no place else to stay. I had camera crews on my front lawn, I couldn’t leave, couldn’t go to work, and Eliza Montgomery’s call was like an answer to a prayer! I never knew someone could be so kind and selfless!”
Her mother exhaled loudly. “Yes, I’m sure Eliza’s a saint in your eyes—a little attention and suddenly she’s the hero. Well, your father and I have been here holding things together after you made things awkward.”
She almost choked. “Um…excuse me? After I made things awkward? How is it that I did anything? Why aren’t you looking at what Derek did as awkward? Why is it that he was a known womanizer, with videos of him going in and out of hotels with random women, not considered awkward? How is it that multiple women accusing him of sexual harassment is not considered awkward? How is it that he apologized to everyone in the whole damn world except me not considered awkward?” she all but screamed. “Explain that to me—please—because I am dying to hear how you can possibly put that kind of spin on it!”
“No one’s saying what Derek did wasn’t…unfortunate,” she reasoned. “But you not showing up or making a statement made things difficult for everyone.”
“I hate to break it to you, but if I had stayed and made a statement, it wasn’t going to be in his favor. If anything, I can guarantee you I would have made things a lot worse for him and his perfect image because I would have backed all those women. I would have backed each and every one of those accusers and told all the attorneys just what a pathetic and disgusting man Derek is.”
“And yet you were going to marry him,” her mother replied smugly. “You would have come off as a sad and bitter woman.”
At that point, Emery was almost speechless. It was hard to believe this was her mother, the woman who had given her life, and who now…was this cold and heartless person. When had that happened? When had she started to change, and why hadn’t Emery noticed it until just recently?
“I guess it all goes back to me thinking I was being a good daughter. Unfortunately, that made me naive. You see, I thought my parents had my best interests at heart. I’m glad I found out how big a mistake I’d made before I said ‘I do,’ just how horrible of a mistake I’d made. My ego may be hurt, but I’ll get over it. As a matter of fact, I already am.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to mention Carter and their new relationship, but she didn’t. Her mother didn’t deserve to know about the wonderful relationship she was in, and there was no way Emery would give her ammunition to turn it into something ugly and twisted. Now wasn’t the time for that. Right now, she needed to stand her ground and make sure this pattern of behavior ended here.
“Here’s the thing, Mom,” she began after taking a steadying breath and letting it out slowly, “you’re my mother. If you can’t see the extent of the damage your support of Derek has done to our relationship—then I feel bad for you. If you’re so willing to turn your back on your own child for a man who has no use for you—or anyone, for that matter—then that’s your decision. I’ll be here when you’re ready to apologize to me, and you know what? I’ll forgive you, because that’s what family does. If you want to stand beside Derek through this public-relations nightmare, you go right ahead. But leave me out of it.”
She let out a shaky breath and finally walked over to her sofa and collapsed down on it.
They were silent for a long moment.
“Are you done?” her mother finally asked.
Emery replied, “Yes. I believe I am.”
“It goes both ways, Emery. I’ll be here when you’re ready to apologize. I’m your mother and your little speech was hurtful and disrespectful. And when Derek is cleared of these false charges, maybe I’ll be able to convince him to take you back.”
Letting out a mirthless laugh, she said, “Mom, it will be a cold day in hell when I even think about that. It’s never going to happen. And if that’s still all you can think of, then I’ll just wish you well and say goodbye.”
And without waiting for a response, she hung up the phone. Placing it on the sofa cushion beside her, she waited to feel something. Waited for the tears to come.
But they didn’t.
If anything, she felt completely…free. Taking several deep breaths, Emery realized that for the first time in years, there was no weight on her shoulders. No pressure on her chest. There was a lightness to her entire being that felt unfamiliar and yet…wonderful! How was it possible that after yelling and screaming at her own mother she could feel like this?
Her next thought was that she should call Carter, but when she looked at the time, she realized he was on his flight back to New Orleans. He’d promised to call when he landed, so she could share it all with him then.
But oh, how she wished she had someone to talk to right now! She felt…invigorated! Powerful! And as she stood up and looked around, Emery knew it was only the first step in reclaiming her life.
“I can’t stop now,” she said, walking across the room and heading into her home office. “There’s so much more to be done!” The first thing she did once her computer was booted up was pull up a real estate site to get an estimate on what her townhouse was worth. She lived in a sought-after community, and no doubt she’d be able to get the place ready and on the market fairly quickly. Once she did a little research, she pulled up the site for a local agency and made an appointment to have someone come out and meet with her the following day.
“Well, that wasn’t so hard.” Looking at the time, the next call was to her boss. They’d only talked twice during her time away, so now was the time to really get to the heart of the matter—did they really need her back, or was her replacement already in her job permanently? During her absence, Emery had dreaded asking that question, but considering she had just stood up to her mother and started the process of putting her house up for sale, this seemed like a piece of cake.
Fifteen minutes later, she was reading the email officially terminating her employment.
Leaning back in her chair, Emery let out a long breath and smiled.
Okay, now that she was out of work, she was going to have to find something else. Fast. Her savings were almost gone and selling the house would go a long way to keeping her going, but that wasn’t the pattern she wanted to fall into. She wanted a job, wanted to work.
“Might as well get started on that now too!” she said almost giddily, pulling up a couple of local job search sites. And then something hit her—she didn’t have to stay local. Hell, she could pick up and go anyplace she wanted to right now!
There were no limits! She was a well-educated and intelligent woman who could very much find a job anywhere in the country and simply go! Now estranged from her parents, there was no longer anything holding her to this area.
Of course, there was a potential job offer on the table that she was keeping to herself…
“Dammit, Carter,” she cursed. “I wish I could talk to you about this.”
And that was true. Not that she was going to let him tell her where she should look for a job or where she should move, but she would love his input. His job kept him on the move, so there was no way for her to choose a location that would work for him or for them to be together.
That made her pause.
Because being with Carter was what she wanted most right now. It was the only thing she wanted. They had danced around the topic and said what they wanted without ever really saying what they wanted, and that had to stop.
For two people who always spoke their minds and never shied away from an argument, it seemed like they had spent the last couple of weeks doing just that. Each afraid of disrupting the new balance they had found. In doing so, they hadn’t really solved anything; all they’d managed to do was delay the awkward conversation.
What if there wasn’t a way for this to work? What if Carter wasn’t able to settle in one place? And if that was the case, where did it leave her? It wasn’t as if Emery was opposed to traveling, but if she was going to work, she’d have to move and settle in one city, right? Sure, there were jobs where she could work remotely, but she wasn’t sure how to go about doing that.
“I’m getting ahead of myself here. Talk to Carter, then freak out if you have to.”
Easier said than done.
And then she had an idea—a spur of the moment, totally unlike her kind of idea.
With a grin on her face, she made a few more calls to put her plan into action.
* * *
His flight had been diverted due to bad weather, so his five-hour trip had ended up taking almost double the time to land in New Orleans. During the entire time, he hadn’t been able to reach Emery due to his own stupidity—not charging his phone or packing his charger in his carry-on.
A Dash of Christmas Page 22
