by Kyra Lennon
Some people don't rate the internet as a great way to meet people, but I knew better. I knew Brayden was going to be special, because instead of the game-playing that goes on when some people first meet, he and I had skipped it. We'd connected as friends, and we'd been real with each other every time we spoke.
All meeting him had done was make me wish I wasn't about to leave him behind.
Offering him a soft smile, I said, "Yes. I'd like that."
Chapter 3
Charley
Although it was a beautiful, clear night, it was freezing outside, so the moment we were inside Brayden's car, he put the heater on to warm us through. For a few moments, we sat in the car, not moving from the car park as heat returned to our frozen limbs.
As we sat, I found myself thinking how, with any other guy I had just met for the first time, getting into a car with him would have felt weird. Maybe a little dangerous. But with Brayden, I had no concerns at all. It wasn’t like he was a stranger, after all. We'd had a good evening, and I wanted to prolong it for as long as possible.
Is that really wise though?
The sensible voice in my head should have forced me to ask him to take me right home. What good was staying with him longer going to do? He was everything I never knew I wanted, and saying goodbye was going to suck. Better to get it over with than prolong the moment.
"So, where shall we drive to?" Brayden asked.
When I turned my head to look at him, he had a slightly wistful smile on his face, as if he'd read my thoughts.
"I don't know," I said with a sigh, turning in my seat to face him. "I guess we can't really go too far because you need to drive home tonight."
With a sad nod, he said, "I do. But that doesn't mean I have to leave right now. Name me somewhere cool around here we can go to for a while."
I paused thoughtfully. There were a lot of nice places around, but nowhere that wouldn't have us freezing our genitalia off outside.
Then I remembered Lakeview Park. It would be ideal because we could sit and look at the view without getting out of the car.
"There's a park not too far away from here," I said. "We probably don't want to walk, but from where the car park is, we can see the lights in the trees and the skating rink."
Brayden smiled. "That sounds good. Just tell me which way to go."
He turned, we both clipped on our seatbelts, and I gave the directions to one of my favourite places, just a few minutes away. Brayden parked on the road just outside the park gates, near to where the ice rink was. It was, of course, closed so late on Christmas Eve, but it still looked pretty magical with the trees sparkling above it.
"Shame I didn't bring my ice skates," Brayden said, chuckling, and I turned to him in surprise.
"You skate?"
"I am a man of many talents," he said, grinning. "I like to go skating at Christmas. It's part of the fun."
I nodded in agreement. "Me too. I went with Becky a couple of weeks ago. It's a shame you couldn't have come with us."
"Maybe next year," he said, and a small sigh escaped my lips. I could have tried harder to hold it in, but it was kinda hard knowing our time was almost up. "Charley, I had a really good time with you tonight." He paused, letting out a small laugh. "I have a good time with you every time we speak. I really wish we'd been able to do this sooner." He unclipped his seatbelt and then mine, and we turned towards each other.
The car was warmer now, and the soft light glowing in from outside made it feel cozy and intimate, like there was nobody else in the outside world. Just me and him in our own little cocoon.
"Me too," I told him. "I'm sorry. I know it wasn't just me. We both had things come up that got in the way, but I still wish I hadn't... I wish I wasn't going away."
And I meant it. Sort of. I was excited for my new job, and even though I was scared to be going so far away, I was looking forward to doing something amazing with my life, even if it was just for twelve months. But another more sentimental part of me wanted to say 'to hell with it' and stay home to explore this thing with Brayden.
He leaned forward, his hand reaching out for my cheek. Again, he let out a small laugh. "I still can't believe I'm actually able to do this."
I closed my eyes, trying to keep the butterflies in my stomach at bay, but there was really no hope for them or me anymore. I leaned into his hand, relishing in a feeling I'd wanted for so long.
"You couldn't have put your life on hold for me," he said quietly, and I looked into his beautiful eyes again, absorbing the sincerity in them. "We didn't really know each other when you got the job offer. We didn't know if we would ever mean anything to each other."
"But we do," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "We do mean something to each other."
He nodded. "Yeah. We do."
"So... what do we do about that?" I asked gently, watching as he moved in just a little closer to me. I suddenly wished we weren't in a car. That we had braved the cold because I needed to feel his body against mine. With his arms around me, I could only ever imagine feeling warm and safe.
Slowly, Brayden pressed his lips against mine, and everything except our heartbeats, and our mouths moving so gently against each other ceased to exist. I moved my hand up to the back of his neck, softly stroking the skin there as his tongue sank into my mouth.
I never knew kisses could feel like that. So soft and slow, yet still so full of emotion and need. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes because, in that moment, I couldn't imagine wanting to kiss anyone else again.
And that was terrifying.
When our lips slowly parted, we leaned our foreheads together.
“That was better than I ever imagined,” I said, chuckling lightly.
“Yeah. It really was.”
The fact that he had thought about that moment as much as I had made a small groan escape from my lips. “What do we do, Brayden?” I moved my head back so I could look at him. So I could look into his eyes again. “I really… I think… we can’t…” I stumbled over my words because, even though I knew what I was trying to say, I still didn’t want to say it. I didn’t want to be the sensible one.
He pressed another soft kiss to my lips, and my stomach flipped over, my heart fluttering wildly.
“You’re about to start a whole new life,” he said gently. “One where there will be new people, other guys…”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to be an issue,” I said, laughing, and he smiled, his eyes lighting up.
“Right now you feel that way,” he said. “But we have to be real here. A year is a long time, Charley.”
“I know,” I whispered, bracing myself, ready for him to say the words I had been unable to say.
“I don’t think we should…” he began, then paused, swallowing hard. “Charley, you’re amazing. You’re beautiful, and you’re fun, and I have never had a connection like this with anyone before. God, I don’t want to say this, but I can’t… I don’t think we can promise each other anything right now.”
He was right. It was what I’d wanted to tell him. Because, sure, we could have decided there and then to make a commitment. A commitment to not see anyone else in the next year. To be together long distance for twelve months until we could be together for real. But we were also smart enough to know that things can change. That there was a chance, even if we didn’t feel like it in that moment, that one of us would meet someone else. Someone who wasn’t so far away. And then what? The other one of us would be left hurt, feeling like we should never have gotten involved in the first place.
“If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out, right?” I said, rolling my eyes good-naturedly. I was purposely sounding cheesy, but that is what people say, isn’t it? What’s meant to be will find a way.
Brayden smiled. “Right. So… can we just stay in touch and…”
“If we’re both still single, I’ll meet you back here in a year?” I finished, smiling back at him, even though it stung that it was so far away. “Or
is that still too much like a promise?”
He screwed up his face in thought, making him look even more adorable. “I think that’s a promise we can stick to.”
Chapter 4
Charley
Twenty-Three Months Ago
Hey stranger. How's life in America?
I gave my laptop the side-eye as I heard my notifications go off, and I got a glimpse of a message I wasn't expecting. The laptop sat beside me on the sofa while I ate a bowl of my roommate's homemade chicken noodle soup. From my years of watching American sitcoms, I'd learned that that was what people made each other when they got ill. But I wasn't. Ill, I mean. Homesick, perhaps, but not ill in the usual sense.
I should have known. I'd been feeling a little off all morning, so it made perfect sense that he'd get in touch today. It was just the way of things with him. I'm not psychic or anything, but where Brayden was concerned... it was like I could feel him, feel his presence.
Even from 3883 miles away.
Not that I'd ever Googled the distance. That would have been all kinds of lame...
I placed my bowl on the coffee table in front of me, right in the place where my feet had rested on the highly polished surface seconds before. I tucked my legs underneath me and picked up my laptop, taking a deep breath to open the message.
I stared at it for a moment and could see he was still online. Seven a.m. in the U.K. Did he wake up thinking about me? My stomach twinged.
I still woke up thinking about him every morning. I had since Christmas Day. As stupid as it might have seemed to miss someone I’d only ever met once… I did. I missed him. I missed how incredible the connection was with him.
Charley??? I woke up early just to talk to you! On a Saturday! Answer me, woman!
A smile played about my lips as my fingers hovered over the keyboard for a moment. After a minute or two, I typed:
It didn't cross your mind that this high-flying, jet-setting girl would be out enjoying herself on a Saturday? :p
Had I not felt the weird tug to stay at my laptop, I probably would have been out. I'd been in Chicago for two weeks, and I still had a lot of exploring to do. American city life was quite the culture shock after spending the first twenty-three years of my life living in Weymouth. Not gonna lie, Chicago terrified me, but I'd been put in shared accommodation with a native, who was more than happy to tell me which places I should go to and which places I should avoid.
Brayden: Honestly? No. I expect you to be waiting by your keyboard for my messages every hour of the day! :p
This time, I chuckled.
Charley: Just as well I don't do that. I'd have died of boredom waiting for you! :p
Brayden: LOL. Just wanted to give you time to settle in. Besides, wasn't sure if you still wanted to hear from me. I wondered if you’d change your mind about staying in touch once you got there.
If only he knew. And, of course, I knew I could just as easily have reached out to him, but... I was trying to do something I'd never done before. I was trying not to stress over a situation I had no control over.
Well, not no control. I’d made the decision to move to the US to work for a year, leaving behind the possibility of him and me. I quickly reminded myself it would have been crazy to turn down such a huge opportunity for someone I didn’t know if I would ever actually meet. Teaching English as a foreign language was something I'd worked towards, and I'd wanted to go to America for as long as I could remember.
But now, I had met him. And even though we’d sort of made a pact to just wait the time out and see how we felt, a year might as well have been a century.
Charley: Of course I want to hear from you. Things have been a bit weird the last few weeks. Being here is a huge change. I really miss home today.
Brayden: What's it like there?
Charley: Chicago? It's like London on crack. Everything is big and loud and scary.
Brayden: LMAO, sounds insane.
Charley: It's amazing, but it's going to take some getting used to. How are you? How's life in the UK?
Brayden: Same old. Saw Becky last week.
Hmm. Odd that she didn't mention it when we Skyped the day before. On the other hand, she was the best kind of friend. She probably knew talking about Brayden would make me doubt my decision again. And there was nothing I could do about it.
I spent a little over an hour messaging with Brayden, and with each message we sent, I felt myself falling backwards. I'd tried every trick I could think of to force him to the back of my mind for a while. Not because I wanted to forget him. I didn’t. I just wanted to try and get used to not talking to him as often. It was so much harder now I’d kissed him. Now I knew what it was like to be around him, I wanted more. But I couldn’t have it. Not yet, and maybe never. Taking a small step back was my way of trying to protect myself, and I was failing miserably.
Just as I finished my conversation with Brayden, my roommate, Evelyn, came through the front door. The smile faded from her face as she took me in where I sat, in a ball in the corner of the sofa, staring at the messages Brayden and I had exchanged.
"Okay, what's up, girl?" she said, flopping down at the opposite end of the sofa. "You looked sad when I left, but now? Hell, you look like someone used up your last teabag."
Yup. That was Evelyn. Able to make me chuckle with only a few words. I was fortunate to have been placed with such a character. We worked together at a language school in the city, and she had been a godsend. She understood my fear of being in such a different place than I was used to, but she refused to let me mooch around all the time. She'd dragged me all over the city, introducing me to her friends, and I loved her for it. When the year was up, I knew she wouldn't become just a distant memory.
"Spill," she said, her brown eyes widening as she waited for me to explain.
I just wasn't sure I wanted to. The truth was horribly pathetic. And while she wasn't judgemental, I didn't know if I wanted to drag this stuff up again.
Please. Who are you even kidding here? Despite your best efforts, you can't get Brayden out of your head.
With a sigh, I placed my laptop down on the coffee table and picked up a cushion to snuggle up to. Evelyn glanced at the screen then back to me.
"Brayden?"
Oh, boy.
I sighed again. "Erm... he's someone from home."
She nodded, tucking her feet up underneath her as if sensing this was going to be a long story. She pushed a stray lock of her long black hair behind her ear. "Boyfriend?"
"Almost." I gave a slightly bitter laugh.
That was the story of us. Me and Brayden. Brayden and me. Never quite a 'we'.
Honestly, it seemed like the universe was trying to tell us something, but that didn't stop us gravitating back towards each other.
When I was done explaining the ups and downs of our non-relationship, Evelyn fixed me with a serious stare. "Okay. I get he's a hottie and all, but how can you be this messed up over a guy you've only met once?"
I wanted to laugh. I'd asked myself that question a million times because it seemed crazy, even to my soppy, romantic heart. Insta-love was a term that used to make me gag. Falling for someone after knowing them a few hours? Nah. It didn’t seem plausible. However, that cynical part vanished after approximately thirty seconds in Brayden’s company.
But it wasn’t just thirty seconds. Not really. We’d had so many hours of spending time talking online, on the phone. I’d already been halfway to falling for him. Meeting him was really just the final piece of the puzzle.
"I don't know, Evelyn." I turned the cushion over in my hands a few times, trying to think of something to tell her that didn't make me sound like a whack job. In the end, I opted for the truth. "I can't explain it. The first time I saw his photo... something happened to my heart. It kind of... tremored. Like it knew something. Like it wanted to leap out of my chest and go to him." I felt my cheeks colour. "I know it sounds stupid, but I just felt... I felt something."
My in
ternal cringe made me want to throw up. I sounded like a swoony heroine from a low-rate movie. That was exactly what I'd become since I'd known Brayden.
A smile twitched at the corners of Evelyn's lips. "Charley, you know how I feel about romantic crap, but you could not be any cuter right now."
I closed my eyes, my cheeks burning, but I couldn't help chuckling, even though I was mostly laughing at myself.
"I know it's silly," I said. "But in spite of every reason this makes no sense..."
"It makes sense?" she finished for me, and I nodded.
"The first time I saw him on a video call, I got butterflies in my stomach. He looks just like a guy I had a crush on when I was at school." I chuckled again. "These big blue eyes, and a mischievous smile. But when I heard his voice... I don't know. It was like I'd heard it before. Like I knew it."
"Deep."
I peered up at her from beneath my eyelids, but I couldn't help laughing. "Don't mock me."
"I'm not mocking you! I actually think it's pretty cool that you've met someone who gives you all the feels. But... you're here for a year."
"Yeah." I blew out a slow breath. "I want to be here, Evelyn. I do. But all the time, I'm thinking about what it would be like if I was still at home."
"Well, maybe now, even though you're far apart, you can get to know each other more. Maybe in twelve months, the excitement will have fizzled out. And if it doesn't, then you know you have something to go back for."
Chapter 5
Brayden
The night I first met Charley was one of the weirdest nights of my life. Like the kind of scenario you think only happens in fantasy land because no two people could really get along that well, could they?
But we did. And driving away from her on Christmas Eve affected me more than I wanted to admit.
She was everything I expected her to be and more. I’d already seen her face and heard her voice a million times, but having her right there in front of me was amazing. I’d wanted to reach out for her all night, but that would have made me look like a complete prick, so I behaved like the gentleman I was raised to be. I only touched her when we’d hugged, and when we’d danced together, and again when we kissed in my car.
