He cups his hand over mine. “Be careful.”
We hug one last time before he leaves, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. But I have another problem. What am I going to do about Lila?
Chapter Fourteen
Delilah
Max skates down the ice with a hockey stick in hand. She’s all smiles, her blonde hair shoved underneath a pink helmet that has her name on the back in white writing. I stand with my palm pressed against the glass, holding my breath. The thought of Max playing ice hockey at her age scares the life from me. It’s a dangerous sport. Just look at what Duke did to Dean Crawford if you need a reminder. And I get sick thinking about someone doing the same thing to my baby girl.
Duke skates backward in front of Max, gripping his stick. They slowly approach the net behind him. Max slides the puck from right to left. Duke moves his stick, speaking something to her I can’t hear from this distance. They’ve been on the ice for over an hour now. A few times, Duke let Max score on him. It was so damn cute watching her throw it in Duke’s face. He just shrugged like it was nothing.
I bet he let his little sister win, too. Duke’s that kind of guy. He doesn’t need to win to prove a point. There are so many sides to him that people don’t know. And they’re missing out on it. Because once you get to know Duke, you don’t want to let him go. I worry about what will happen when our sessions are over. Will he go back to being the captain of the Washington Capitals and forget about us? Or will we have a chance at something more?
If I were one of my patients, I would tell them to face their fear head-on, which is why I haven’t pushed Duke away. What we’re doing wrong is still highly unethical and unprofessional. We can be friends until his suspension ends.
After Max looks like she’s about to fall over, she skates off the ice and rushes toward me.
“Mommy, did you see me? I beat Duke at hockey.”
Duke is behind her, laughing his ass off. “You did good, kid.” He pats the top of her helmet.
He drops his stick against the bench and strips off his gloves. Then, he sits down in front of Max to help her remove her equipment.
“Mommy, Duke said he’ll get me a special hockey stick like his.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” he says.
He holds up the black hockey stick that says CCM on it. They all look the same to me. I can’t tell one stick apart from the other.
“They make the same one for kids,” he says, setting it on the floor. Then, he leans in close. “Don’t worry. It’s just a standard stick most of us use.”
“Yeah, and she’s going to tell everyone on her new team that she uses the same stick as Duke Baldwin. And that he’s friends with her mom.”
“That should make her pretty popular,” he says with a wink.
Since Duke doesn’t see the problem with that, I don’t point it out. No sense in ruining a good day over nothing. It’s bad enough that Max told her dad about Duke hanging out with me after the game. His teammates, one of which was a patient, saw us together, too. We don’t need anyone else to know about us. Our relationship is already much too complicated.
On our way back to my house, Duke turns up the heat in the car for Max. She’s in the backseat, teeth chattering. I rub my hands together in front of the vents, and Duke laughs but doesn’t comment.
“You better get used to the cold, kiddo,” he says to Max. “Or you won’t last long playing hockey.”
Easy for him to say. Men run hotter than women because they have more muscle mass. Duke has a whole hell of a lot of muscle hidden beneath his long sleeve shirt. He doesn’t even bother to wear a winter coat. Most of the time, I see him in a thin shirt more appropriate for summer.
We haven’t discussed the kiss. Our sessions have been about Duke and helping him grow. I still think about kissing him, think about how his hands felt against my skin, leaving a brush of heat in his wake. Some things you will never forget. For me, that’s Duke and that heart-stopping kiss.
After we get to the house, I turn on the shower for Max. She looks like a wet dog, with her sweaty hair now frozen to her head from the cold. I promise to make her favorite—hot chocolate with four marshmallows. Without complaint, she gives me a smile and then disappears into the bathroom. She’s a good kid, but I swear she listens more with Duke around.
“Thank you,” I say to Duke on my way into the kitchen.
“For what?” Duke asks as he follows behind me.
“Max is excited that you’re coming with us on her first day of practice.”
“Her teammates will never believe she knows me otherwise. And besides, what kind of coach would I be if I didn’t come and watch her first practice with the team.”
“You’re good to her, Duke. I can’t thank you enough.” I point at the pantry closet on the opposite side of the kitchen. “Can you get the marshmallows out?”
I reach into the cabinet and grab the box of hot chocolate Max loves. Duke comes up from behind me, digging his hip into my side.
“You’ve been good to me,” he says against the shell of my ear, dropping the bag of marshmallows on the counter in front of me.
His masculine scent—a mixture of sweat and spicy aftershave—fills my nostrils. He smells so damn good I drink him in. I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath when he moves my hair off my neck. My breath catches as his fingers lightly graze my skin. A moan escapes my lips when his lips hover over my neck, his breath so warm against my cold skin. He slides his hand onto my hip, and his fingers tug at the waistband of my jeans. I want him so damn bad I could scream.
“Duke,” I whisper. “Max is down the hall.”
My heart is pounding in my chest, raging a war inside me. I can’t control myself around Duke, and the feeling seems to be mutual.
“You drive me crazy, Doc.”
I spin around to face him, and my chest is pressed against his. Duke lowers his gaze and licks his lips. You can see down the V neck of my sweater from this angle.
“Friends, Duke, remember?”
He sighs. “Yeah. Friends. But some friends kiss, you know.”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“I want to do more than kiss you,” he says, and shivers roll down my arms.
His hands move from my hips and up my sides. He stops just below my bra, with his thumbs pressing into my skin over the fabric. Duke holds me so tight it’s as if he’s afraid to let go. I can tell from the time we’ve spent together that when Duke loves you, he loves you hard. He’s not the type of man who will walk away from something he wants. And I’m hoping he stays. Because I feel like there’s something more between us, something we both need to explore.
His mouth is dangerously close to mine. I lean into him, ready to kiss him when Max snaps me back to reality.
“Mommy and Duke, sitting in a tree,” she sings, “k-i-s-s-i-n-g.”
Duke and I burst into a fit of laughter.
“First comes love,” she continues, now dancing as she sings, “then comes marriage…”
I laugh so hard, my stomach hurts. Duke can’t even look at me. We didn’t want Max to see us together. Well, I also wasn’t planning to kiss him again, either. We’d agreed to be friends until the end of our sessions. If what we both feel is real, then we can wait. It will only make it more worthwhile.
“You were kissing my mommy,” Max says as she sits next to Duke at the kitchen table.
“No, I wasn’t.”
She makes a fish face at him. “Yes, you were. I saw it.”
“I almost kissed your Mommy,” he says.
“You like Mommy,” she says with a wide grin.
“I do,” Duke admits as his eyes find mine.
She leans into his shoulder, glances over at me, and whispers, “Mommy likes you, too.”
Chapter Fifteen
Duke
I promised I would apologize to Dean before I meet my family in Chicago. This time, I have to apologize for real. Lila
says this is part of my anger management treatment. Plus, Kat already reamed me out for leaving a voicemail for Dean. It went something like this, Hey, dickhead. Sorry, I fucked up your face. Maybe next time, try not to get my sister pregnant.
I dial Dean’s number and raise the phone to my ear, cradling it against my shoulder. It rings a few times as I add the rest of my clothes to the duffle on my bed. My flight leaves in a few hours. The airport shuttle will be here soon.
On the last ring, Dean answers. “What now, Duke?”
“I’m calling to apologize,” I groan, annoyed with his attitude.
“So, then do it,” he snaps. “I already got your last apology. Thanks for that.”
“Look,” I say, “Kat is my baby sister. I overreacted.”
“Ya think? I didn’t even know Kat was pregnant. Imagine my surprise when you hit me for no reason, and then slapped me with the news that Kat’s having my baby.”
“Well, imagine my surprise,” I say through clenched teeth, “when I found out her so-called best friend knocked her up. So, you thought it was okay to fuck around with my sister and lie to our faces?”
“This is exactly why Kat didn’t want you guys to know. Kat’s not some hookup. She’s my best friend. I love her, and she’s having my baby. Deal with it!”
“Are you going to be a man and marry her?”
He snorts. “Yes, I was planning to ask your dad for permission.”
“I raised her,” I point out.
“I know, Duke. Everyone knows that.”
“You should be asking me.”
He sighs, and an uncomfortable silence passes between us. “I already bought the ring. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”
“She loves you,” I say. “And as long as you make her happy, then it’s okay with me.”
He blows a deep breath into the phone. “I’m still going to ask your dad.”
“Go ahead. I already know he’ll say yes.”
“Theo and Travis still won’t talk to me,” he says.
“What do you want me to do about it?”
“For a split second, you acted like a normal person,” Dean says. “But I see you’re back to being your usual self. I was going to ask you to talk to them for me. You can get through to them when Kat can’t.”
“Trav and Theo are mad that you lied to them. You were their teammate, their roommate, and their friend. Think about the situation if it were in reverse. I wouldn’t talk to you either.”
He laughs. “Yeah, well, our situation is different. You hate everyone.”
“Only select people,” I say with an attitude. “I’ll see the twins in a few hours. I can’t make any promises, but I’m sure they’ll come around eventually. They don’t hold grudges.”
He sighs in relief. “Thanks, Duke. I appreciate it.”
“I have to go,” I say when I hear the doorbell ring. “My ride is here.”
* * *
It took five hours to pack all of Kat’s boxes into the moving van. For a tomboy, she had a lot of shit in her bedroom. I can pack at a moment’s notice. My travel bags are always light, nothing of any importance to take with me. But Kat apparently is a collector, or more like a hoarder. She has five colors of every shirt, which I don’t understand. Why do you need the same shirt in multiple colors?
Theo and Travis are in the living room, kneeling on the floor in front of the ninety-inch flat-screen television. They click buttons on the gaming remotes, yelling at each other about getting a wand to advance to the next level. How are they related to me? The twins are mentally about Max’s age. When I was their age, I was already in the NHL and had better things to do with my time.
Austin plops down on the couch next to me. He hands me a water bottle and then sips from the one in his other hand.
“I talked to Dean,” I say.
He nods in approval. “How did it go?”
I roll my shoulders. “Okay, I guess. He’s asking Dad to marry Kat,” I say in a hushed tone.
“I like Dean. He’s a good guy. Old school.”
“He got Kat pregnant, Aus. He’s not that great.”
“It was an accident, Duke. They didn’t plan it. Stop being a prick about it.”
I roll my eyes. “We both know you can’t accidentally get a girl pregnant. He knew what he was doing.”
Austin takes a long sip from his water bottle. “Let it go. Our nephew will be here in a few months.”
“Nephew? I thought it was too early to know the sex.”
He rolls his shoulders. “Kat swears it’s a boy because she’s craving salty foods instead of sweets. And because she’s carrying low.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Isn’t that kind of stuff based on folklore?”
“There’s no science to prove it.”
“I better be the godfather,” I say.
“No, way,” Austin challenges, “I’ve been driving between St. Louis and Chicago to take Kat to her appointments. It should be me.”
Austin sat in every waiting room with Kat and the twins, wiped every nose, and nursed every fever.
“I’m the oldest,” I shoot back. “So, I get dibs.”
“Don’t be a dick, Duke!”
Dad and Kat step into the living room, and he clears his throat to gain our attention.
Kat’s eyes find mine, and she shakes her head. “Are you guys fighting over who will be the baby’s godfather?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I think it should be me. I’m the oldest and—”
“Look, guys,” Kat says. “Can you not fight over this? I’m tired, I don’t feel good, and stress isn’t good for the baby.”
Austin lunges off the couch, rushing over to her side. He glances down at her stomach. Her belly has grown since the last time I saw her. The girl I raised is a woman now, though, some part of me will always think of Kat as a little girl.
“Are you okay?” Austin asks her. “Did something happen? You know, I’ve been reading a lot of books, so I can help you with the baby. So, I’ll know what to do.”
“Austin, you already know what to do.” Kat smiles. “You helped raise me.” She looks at Austin and me as she says, “All of you did a good job with me. This isn’t your fault. I did something without thinking, and now, I have to deal with the consequences. But I’m not upset about it, okay? I don’t look at this baby as a bad thing. If anything, it’s what I needed to force me to move back to Philly. I wanted to be with Dean anyway. We’re just starting sooner than either of us had expected.”
I lean against the edge of the couch, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers. Austin blows out a deep breath. My dad shoves his hands into his jeans pockets and forces a smile. The twins are oblivious to our conversation, too busy playing some stupid video game.
“I don’t want you to give up on your dreams to go running across the country to be with a man,” my dad says to Kat. “Your mother did it for me.” His eyes fall to the floor as he sighs. “She could have done so much more. She wanted to help people, and I took that away from her. I don’t want the same to happen to you.”
“Dad, c’mon,” Austin says. “Mom didn’t give anything up. She had us. Kat’s not doing the same thing. She’ll find a job in Philly after the baby is born.”
“Austin is right,” Kat says. “I’ll get another internship after the baby is born. The one I had sucked anyway. I was never allowed to do anything other than order lunches and make coffee. Mr. Hopper treated me like crap and made me cry all the time. It was awful.”
I stand up, balling my hands into fists at my sides. Austin’s mouth curls up into an angry snarl.
Dad’s nostrils flare. “He did what?”
Kat raises her hand to silence him. “Dad, chill. It’s okay. I don’t work there anymore.”
His eyes widen. “Hopper made you cry?”
“Guys, calm down, okay?” Kat is way too relaxed when I want to beat the piss out of her former boss. “He’s an asshole, and I don’t work for him anymore.”
<
br /> “I’ll have his job,” Dad snaps.
“I’ll kill him,” I growl.
“That asshole will pay,” Austin mutters.
“We got your back, Kit-Kat,” Theo says, raising the controller in his hand.
I didn’t even think the twins were paying attention to us. Most of the time, the boys live in their own twin world.
Travis points at Theo. “Yeah, what he says.”
“I’m gonna miss you guys.” Kat throws out her arms, and we give her a massive group hug.
“Don’t kill anyone for me,” she says, laughing.
“I can’t make any promises,” I say.
“That’s what you said when I told you Dean is the father of the baby, and look at the mess you made.”
“It’s just a suspension,” I counter.
“Twenty games,” Dad snaps. “That’s a big deal!”
Yeah, I know. Get off my ass.
“Now that I have so much free time, I can go bother Kit-Kat in Philly.”
“Oh, no, you don’t, Denny.” Kat moves her hands to her hips, which makes her stomach look more pronounced. “You’re not going to harass Dean and me after what you did.”
“Why? Is your little boyfriend afraid I’ll kick his ass again?”
“First off, he’s not little. And second, you’re an asshole for going after him. You took Dean by surprise when you told him I’m pregnant. That wasn’t even a fair fight.”
I shrug. “I would’ve kicked his ass either way.”
“Don’t raise your voice with me, Dennis McAllister Baldwin.”
Low blow.
“Don’t call me that.”
My middle name is my mother’s maiden name.
“It’s the name your mother gave you,” Dad says.
“Oh, dear Lord,” Kat whispers. “Does everything have to be an argument in this house? Can we take a minute to be thankful that we have each other? That we’re all here under one roof for once. And in the middle of the hockey season, of all things.”
“Speaking of hockey,” Dad says. “The Flyers are on in an hour. I thought we could watch the game together.”
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