by Tey Holden
Addy stopped when she felt the warmth of Karen’s body behind. She immediately turned and took comfort in the arms where she always felt safe. Karen held her tight and buried her face into Addy’s hair. As always, unable to comprehend the effect of the feelings that filled the very essence of her life, she whispered the name she loved, “Addy.” They held each other lovingly.
With her face still buried in Karen’s neck, she mumbled, “I never thought this could happen, Ker. JP and James, I thought they’d be together, like us, forever. They are our best friends. How could this be? Why?” Addy shook her head and continued to cry.
Karen gently caressed her back and kissed her wanting to say that everything would be okay, that maybe they’d patch things up, and things would be as they were, but she couldn’t. The matter was totally out of her control. “Addy, this kind of thing happens. You’ve always seen them from our perspective. Not all relationships are like ours. Most people hook up for a while and then move on. A lot of relationships don’t last. I don’t know why that happens. Maybe what they had was not what they wanted. Maybe they didn’t love each other enough. I really don’t know. I also thought they would last. They’ve been together for a while now, but I guess, I was wrong. I’m as lost as you are.” She paused not really knowing what else to say. “We have to go on with our lives, and let them live theirs. They might get back together. I still hope JP comes to his senses, and that James takes him back.”
“Do you think something like that could ever happen to us?”
“Well, you are the one who once said that you didn’t believe in evers and forevers. I, on the other hand, believe in forever but only because of you.”
“Why do you believe in forever?”
“Because I want forever with you, and I will do whatever it takes to have my forever. I know how I feel, and I know I can make forever come true. I always wanted a love like yours. I found you, Adriana Marcos, I cherish every moment with you and I plan to dedicate my life to keep you, and make you happy. That is why I believe in forever. You are my forever.”
Addy smiled and kissed her. “Then, I guess I believe in forever too because I feel just the same. I can’t imagine life without you, I don’t want to!”
“Nor do I, love, nor do I.” Karen again pressed her tight against her body, and they kissed.
“James said, that he sees our relationship different from theirs because we both want to be in the relationship, and that we are fully committed to it. That, unlike them, we always act as one and not as separate individuals. I think he has a point. I think we’ve seen our relationship very differently from the start.”
“Yes, just look at us, Addy. We are so sure about ourselves that we’ve agreed to bring someone into this world and care for it together. If we didn’t have the bond we have, I would have never agreed to such commitment and responsibility. You are my reason for this.” She pointed to her belly, and Addy smiled.
“I believe we will stay together, and raise this baby, and that he or she will be a fabulous human being, simply because I cannot imagine anything coming from our love not being great. This is why we are having our baby. I am positively sure that we are going to be great parents, and that we are going to have the time of our lives raising this little one.” Karen made her statement firmly.
Addy was touched and almost in shock hearing Karen talk about the baby and their parenting in such a way. This was a real change in attitude, and frame of mind for Karen. As a matter of fact, Addy thought that this was a second miracle. She didn’t know what to say, or even if she should say anything. In fact, she couldn’t because at that precise moment Karen kissed her on the lips. When she pulled away from the kiss, she pressed her lips together and smiled at Addy’s teary eyes. “And for the record, I don’t intend to get drunk and leave our child with a stranger.”
Addy dried her tears and chuckled at the same time. “I know. You didn’t have to tell me that.”
“Come on, baby. Let’s turn in. I wasn’t joking when I said that I was tired. This baby makes me sleepy.”
“Yeah, Come on. I’ll rub your back again tonight.”
Karen chuckled. “Umm, I’m really getting to like all this back rubbing thing. But Addy, so that you know, I’m really tired.”
Addy smiled. “I know, just a rub tonight. If I wanted something else I’d say so. You really have to stop thinking of everything as a sexual innuendo, and that I’m some sort of sex machine. I’m tired too. My feet are killing me. I spent too much time in that kitchen.”
Karen rolled her eyes. Drama! “Well, our rubs generally tend to go a certain way.”
“Yes, but not tonight. We are both tired and need to rest.”
When they reached the bedroom, Karen pulled Addy’s arm and when Addy turned, Karen kissed her. “Is this the behavior of a tired pregnant woman?” She asked raising her eyebrows.
Karen had that knowing grin. “No. It’s the behavior of a woman madly in love. And, by the way, it’s not that everything has a sexual connotation, you know? It’s just that I can’t resist you even under normal circumstances. So, when you even suggest touching me in the most ordinary way, like a massage, all of me craves you. I guess I’m obsessed with you, and I’m not sorry, by the way.”
Addy smiled. “You’d better not be! I love being the object of your obsession.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Oh shut up! Stop your nonsense. Just get over here and let me rub your back. Let’s see where that obsession takes us.”
Karen got in bed first. “Do you think I can lie on my belly?”
“Why not? When you get bigger maybe you won’t be able to, but I don’t see why you can’t now if you are comfortable.” Addy got on the bed and came close to her.
“Come on, turn around.”
“I don’t want to risk it. I’ll cushion myself with a pillow and lay on my side. Do you think you can massage me from that angle?”
“Honey, I can massage you from any angle. Plus, I like the view from back here.” Addy pulled Karen’s panties down, and began the gentle caressing and massaging while Karen buried her face in the pillow and moaned. “The lower back, baby, that’s where it hurts the most.”
Addy extended her strokes to Karen’s lower back and eventually reached her buttocks. Karen continued to moan. “Here?” Addy was massaging her buttocks. Karen chuckled. “Baby, that’s not my back. That has another name. I need the massage a bit higher, umm.”
Addy grinned. She came close to her ear and whispered. “Babe, if you keep moaning like that, you are risking igniting the sex machine.”
Karen chuckled. “I think I would like to ignite the sex machine, but I need more rubbing now.”
“No worries. You will get all the rubbing you need tonight.”
“Do you want me to turn around?”
“Nope, remember, I can work from any angle. Just relax and facilitate.”
Karen chuckled. “That I can do, umm.”
After the extended session ended, Addy spooned Karen who was still on her side, relaxed, fully massaged and very satisfied in more than one way. Addy kissed her and whispered in her ear. “Is my Blondie happy?
“Umm, Blondie is in love with her masseuse.”
Addy grinned. “Goodnight, love.” She kissed Karen tenderly on her neck and shoulder.
Part 5
A while back, Addy asked Phillip to try to obtain the police report regarding the death of Karen’s mother. In the bottom of her heart, she hoped that the report would reveal the actual circumstances of her death and that the truth would finally, and once and for all, set Karen free. In the unfortunate event that the report shed no light on the matter or was detrimental to the situation, she intended to destroy it and never mention it. After explaining the reasons for the request, she specifically asked Phillip to keep the matter and any findings private. Phillip clearly understood the confidentiality of the request due to the personal implications for Karen.
It was not until Karen’s third m
onth of pregnancy that Phillip called Addy on her cell phone. “Addy, I have the report on Karen’s mother. What do you want me to do with it?”
“Oh dear God! Is it good or bad?”
“Well from what you told me and having read the report, I would say that it is good.”
“Thank God!”
“Should I send it by mail, courier, email, which would you prefer?
“Email it to my private account.”
“Alright, give me a few minutes to scan it, and I’ll email it. It’s three pages long, you should receive it within the next fifteen minutes. Please, email me back to acknowledge receipt.”
“Phillip, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. Please, bill me for your time and any expenses.”
“It’s no trouble. You and Karen are family. We always take care of family.”
“Thanks again, Phillip. You are great.”
“Listen, I want to ask you something. We have a couple of cases dealing with financial matters and I thought of asking Karen to help us out. I just wasn’t sure whether to call her or not, since she’s expecting and I don’t know if she’s up to it. What do you think?” Phillip occasionally tapped Karen for complicated financial cases. Karen accepted the work not because she needed the money, but because she liked the work. It was Phillip who had insisted on paying her because it was very specialized work and very well paid by the clients.
“You know, Phillip, I think it’s a great idea. I think that working on things she likes will keep her busy. Being pregnant is not easy. I think some distraction might help. You know how much she likes financial work. So, yes, call her and ask her. I don’t know what she will say, but I think it will be good for her.”
A few minutes later Addy had the report in her hands. It was good. Unbelievable as it was, the report clearly stated that the glass pane next to the door was broken and that the perpetrator unlocked the door to get inside the house. It was all there in black and white.
The issue now was how to bring the unexpected matter to Karen’s attention. Although the news was good, Addy was concerned about rocking Karen’s emotional state. Karen’s hormones had been all over the place and it was not like she needed more emotional imbalance. However, there had been much improvement recently and since the news to be delivered was good, Addy decided to tackle the matter after dinner that evening. “You okay, baby?”
“Yeah. Are you coming to watch television with me?”
“Hey, can we talk for a minute? I have something to share with you.”
Karen turned to look for her. “What?”
Addy took the remote and turned off the television. The minute she did, Karen became concerned, but relaxed when she saw Addy smiling. “First of all, the only reason why I’m sharing this with you at this particular time is because it’s good news.”
Karen smiled a bit relieved. Addy continued. “It’s a delicate subject, but I think one that might give you peace. Some time ago, I asked Phillip to do something for me. I asked him to find out the details of your mother’s death.” Karen recoiled. Her face drained of color. Then she remembered Addy’s words that the news was good. “What is it, Addy?”
“Karen, the intruder broke in.” Karen brought her hand to her mouth, her forehead immediately frowned and her eyes filled with tears. With a quivering voice, she managed to speak. “How do you know this?”
“Police report. Here’s a copy. It’s in black and white.”
Addy handed over the report, and Karen took it with a shaky hand. As she began to read, she kept her hand against her mouth and the tears began to fall. Addy sat next to her and put her arm around her as Karen continued to read. Of course, the gruesome description had been removed and all the report contained was how the intruder gained access to the house. The window next to the door had been broken and the intruder reached through and slid the door’s latch. Karen never saw the broken window because the curtains covered it. She only saw the open sliding door. The report specifically described how the curtain concealed the broken window.
When Karen finished reading, she buried her face into Addy’s chest and sobbed releasing years of anguish from her soul. Addy hugged her and ran her hand through her golden hair placing innumerable kisses on her head. “Oh, baby!” Addy wished she could stop her from crying, but thought it was better to let her release all she had kept inside for so long.
As she collected herself, she looked at Addy. “It wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t me.”
“No, baby, it wasn’t your fault.” Karen again leaned into Addy’s arms. Addy patiently ran her hands along Karen’s back until the sobbing stopped.
Years of guilt were finally put away. “Thanks, Addy. Thanks for doing this, baby.”
“I only wish we had talked about this sooner and that all this had been done a long time ago. You would have been happier.”
Karen frowned. “I’m happy now, Addy. You make me happy.”
Addy smiled and kissed her. “By the way, Phillip is going to call you. He asked me whether you might be interested in some work. He didn’t call earlier because he said he wasn’t sure of how you were feeling. Anyway, I told him to call you.”
“You wouldn’t mind if I took on some work?”
“Ker, I never minded that you worked. I just didn’t want to see you stressed out and overworked to the point that it was making you miserable and grumpy. If you can work without overdoing it or getting grumpy, I’m perfectly fine with it. Also, don’t get me involved with any legal issues. I’m through with the law. I guess that makes me an outlaw!” She laughed. “Come on, sexy. Let’s watch a video.”
Karen looked at her and smiled. She still had the report in her hand and reread it. She placed it on the coffee table, reclined the love seat, and leaned her head on Addy’s shoulder. This had become the customary way to watch television, sprawled on the love seat, holding each other. Occasionally, without any reason, a kiss was imparted on the head, neck, hand, arm, or lips. Sometimes, an extended kiss on the lips led to activities that required stopping the movie. Still at this point, Karen’s pregnancy had not affected her sex drive in the least, something for which Addy was enormously grateful.
***
A few days later, Addy was making a sandwich in the kitchen when Karen walked in.
“Want one?”
What kind of creation are you making now?”
“Rye bread, honey ham, Swiss cheese, fennel, garlic paste, and mustard.”
“Umm, okay, make me one. My mother loved rye bread.”
Addy looked up in amazement.
Karen noticed her look. “What? What did I say?”
“This is the first time since we’ve been together that you have mentioned your mother, except for that night, of course.”
Karen looked up, shocked by Addy’s observation. “Yeah, you are right.” Karen sat in one of the kitchen stools. “I don’t usually talk much about her. So much happened, I just wanted to forget it all. Why do you think that is? Why would I have never talked about her and then now I just did?”
“Maybe reading that police report freed a part of you that was still imprisoned by your doubts. Maybe now there are no unanswered questions, whatever was left of your doubts is gone and you can bring her back into your life. I think that you wanted so much to forget what happened, that you buried it all, including the good. I think you need to remember the good parts. I think now you will, slowly, at your own pace and comfort level. When you are ready to talk about her, I’ll listen.”
Karen was trying to make sense of Addy’s words and at the same time felt overwhelmed by her own comprehension that she had brought her mother back to her life. That it felt good to remember her and her love. Karen was stunned as Addy came close to hold her. Karen grasped Addy’s hips and wrapped her arms around her resting her head against her shoulder. “Addy, you know how you’ve always wanted me to go and help you organize the attic? I think we should now.”
“Now?” Karen never before had any desire to ch
eck what was in the old boxes containing portions of her past. She was of the opinion that it was better not to stir the past. She had never suggested looking at any of it until now.
“Yes.”
Addy pulled away. “Yes, I think we should definitely do that, but not now. I don’t want you climbing up that ladder. It’s dangerous. Plus it’s cold up there. I don’t want you getting sick either. So, we are going to do it, but not just now.”
The way to go to the attic was by pulling down a chain on the second-floor landing. When the chain was pulled a folding ladder slowly lowered itself. Once all the latches were hooked, a person could climb up. The attic had a safe floor and light, but no heat. When they renovated the cottage they had insulated it and used it for storage because the cottage was small.
“Addy, I’m pregnant, not disabled.”
“I know, Ker, but that stuff has been there forever, it can certainly wait a few more months. There is no need to do this now.” Then she thought that maybe Karen needed to reacquaint herself with her mother, and that going down memory lane was a necessary thing, so she came up with an idea. “However, although I’m totally opposed to your climbing up there, if you really want to rummage through the stuff that is up there, we can get help to bring it all down and then you can go through everything down here where the working conditions are better.”
Karen sighed, pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. “I hate it when you get into this overprotective mode.”
Addy gave her a knowing smile because it was usually Karen who was assuming the role of protector. “Welcome to my world, honeybunch!”
“Touché, Adriana. I’m not going to argue with you. Let’s do it your way. Let’s get someone to bring the stuff down. I guess I will have to accept that being pregnant does present some temporary limitations.”
Karen was not one to have things done for her. She also didn’t shy away from tough, rough, or dirty jobs. If it had to be done, she’d do it. She was not one of those women who thought certain things were for men only. She thought she was as capable as anyone, and if it was something that required the type of brute force she didn’t have, she was of the opinion that she was smart enough to figure out a way around it.
