by Cara Bastone
“I’m pretty sure I loved you then. Or was just about to. Even when I didn’t think I had a chance. I was already committed to being in your life. As a friend, but still. Being in your life was important to me.”
Mary’s eyes teared up, and she pressed her forehead to his. They fell asleep just like that.
* * *
THOSE WORDS OF John’s stayed in Mary’s head on repeat as they stood in front of Cora’s well-kept grave the next day. Being in your life is important to me.
That phrase alone meant almost as much as him telling her he was in love with her. Because there were so many kinds of love. And death had stolen so much of it from Mary too soon. More than she wanted kids, more than she wanted marriage, she just wanted John to be there. She wanted him to want to be there.
He wanted that too, she was sure of it. Wasn’t that how he’d answered her mother’s question last night? When asked about the future, all he’d had to say was that he wanted to be with her. In her mind, it was better than a marriage proposal.
She transmitted these thoughts toward Cora’s gravestone, psychically greeting her best friend. Mary and John stood back from Sebastian and Via, who had Matty tucked between them. Mary wanted to express solidarity while also giving their family a bit of space.
Mary hadn’t expected to feel connected to Cora’s gravestone when she first started coming here, because Cora wasn’t actually there. The idea of being trapped in a box for all eternity had been Cora’s version of hell, so she’d been cremated instead. Sebastian, Matty and Cora’s parents had spread her ashes in the backyard where she’d grown up. So there was nothing marking this spot as Cora’s besides her name. Even so, Mary liked to think she could feel her friend there. Tall, blonde, bossy, brightly crude, loyal, Mary’s most fervent champion.
Mary watched while first Sebastian approached the gravestone, laying a palm against it, and she could see his mouth moving as he spoke some secret words to Cora.
A moment later, Matty joined him. Sebastian swept Matty up into his arms, being pretty much the only adult in the world large enough to actually lift the gigantic kid. He walked back to Via, kissed her on the lips and headed back toward the main road, where Tyler, Fin and Kylie were all waiting.
Mary squeezed John’s fingers, stepped around Via with a little pat to her shoulder and laid the bouquet of purple tulips she’d brought so that they were propped against Cora’s name. “I met a guy,” she whispered to her friend. “You’d like him. He’s rude and protective of me. Just like you.” Mary smiled, brushed at her tears. “He helped me stand up to my mom. Finally. Can you believe that? Even you and Tiff never quite got me to do that. I told my folks that they needed to respect me in order to keep me in their lives. I’m pretty much expecting a call from my dad any minute. He’s never been one to hold out on me. But my mom? I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes her a couple of years.” Mary traced the script of Cora’s name with one finger, hoping her friend could hear her. “But you know what? For the first time, I kind of feel like I have the years to give. Somehow, being with John, it’s kind of turned off the ticking clock for me. I’ve got time, Cora. I’ve never felt like that before.”
Mary laid her palm flat against the top of the gravestone. “Love you forever, Cora.”
She rose and walked back to John, taking his hand as the two of them left the cemetery. Mary glanced back just once to see Via still standing there, looking down at the headstone.
The train ride back to the city was a surprisingly festive one. It was almost as if everyone had shed a weight back in White Plains. Tyler and Fin were cuddled up against one another. He was laughing and shaking his head as she gave him the bad news about something she was reading on his palm. Matty, Kylie and Crabby were crammed into a bench seat together, both plugged into a movie, looking as comfortable together as siblings. John and Mary sat together facing Seb and Via, and that was where the relief was most tangible.
Mary felt that as disappointing as that conversation with her mother had gone, she’d already set it down in Connecticut. There was nothing more to do than to live her life the way she wanted to. She could only hope that her parents would come to see it her way. And if they didn’t, she was lucky enough to have Estrella.
There was some sort of giddiness emanating off of Seb and Via as well, and when Via rose to go to the snack car, Mary made sure to catch her.
“How was it today?” Mary asked. “Not too scary?”
“It was all right,” Via confirmed. “It’s complicated, how I feel about her. But more than anything, I’m so grateful for Seb and Matty. For the life I have with them.” Via paused, looked around and then pulled Mary out of the concessions line by her elbow. “I, uh, told Cora that I’m going to ask Seb to marry me.”
“What?!” Mary squawked, instant tears rising to her eyes. “Oh, Via, I’m so happy for you guys!”
“Me too,” Via said, her cheeks pink as she shed a tear herself. “And I’m terrified. And excited. And all mixed-up. But yeah, mostly happy.”
“Do you have a plan? When? Where?”
“No. Not yet. Just whenever the moment is right, I think. Maybe sometime in the next three months or so. Before Christmas.”
Mary squeezed Via into a tight hug and hoped that her friend could feel just how happy she really was. “That’s just perfect.”
They got back in line, both of them flushed and loopy with Via’s news, and Via stocked up on snacks for the kids. Mary took her time to choose, so Via went back to their seats first. A moment later, there was Seb at her side.
“Hey.”
“Did Via forget something? She nearly bought out the entire snack car.”
He smiled. “She really doesn’t like the idea of Matty or I going hungry ever. We’re lucky she makes such healthy food or me and the kid would plump up Violet Beauregarde–style.”
“You’re lucky to have her.”
“I sure am.” He shifted on his feet and looked behind him. When he turned back to Mary, something tripped up her spine. She wasn’t a clairvoyant like Fin, but she was definitely getting a déjà vu–style vibe. “I’m gonna ask her to marry me. I talked about it with Cora’s parents this weekend.”
Mary eeped, squawked and then forcibly threw her hands over her own mouth so she wouldn’t spoil anything. She was so bad at secrets.
“What?” Sebastian asked, reading her reaction.
“I’m just so happy for you!” She threw her arms around Seb’s neck to hide her expression from him. “That’s amazing! Incredible! I had no idea you guys were thinking about that! I’m flabbergasted!” Okay. Maybe she needed to dial it back a touch.
Seb laughed and patted her back. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Wanted to take it slowly, make sure that Matty was comfortable with the direction everything was headed. But then I caught him online the other day.”
Mary’s brain broke. No. Nonono. Matty was too young to be looking at naughty stuff online. Matty was her little baby boychkin. She couldn’t hear this—
“He was googling ring bearer pillows,” Sebastian said, half laughing, half bemused.
Mary burst out in relieved laughter. “Oh, thank God.”
Sebastian chuckled as well. “I asked him what it was for. And he told me he’d just started thinking about weddings recently and was curious about it. I took that as a sign that he was ready to start talking about the future with Via. He told me I should get a move on. So. Here we are.”
“Do you have a plan?” Mary asked. She cleared her throat, trying not to sound rehearsed. “When? Where?”
“No plan,” Seb said, shaking his head. “I think I’ll know when the moment is right. Maybe sometime in the next six months.”
Mary nearly swallowed her tongue. “Maybe sooner?” she croaked.
“Maybe.” Sebastian squinted at her. “Mary, you’re acting weird. D
o you know something...?”
“No! I know nothing! I have to pee! Two Coronas with lime and a bag of pretzels.” She thrust her money into Seb’s hand and skedaddled out of the snack car, back to where they were all sitting. Safety in numbers.
She practically collapsed onto John’s lap, pressing her lips to his. “Help me,” she groaned. “Save me from myself.”
He laughed. “What do you need?”
She gave him the CliffsNotes version and he agreed to help her field any more awkward questions.
Luckily, they made it back to Grand Central unscathed. They piled onto the subway together, and all of them, unwilling to part ways, immediately jumped on Via’s invitation to feed everyone dinner.
When they came aboveground in Seb and Via’s neighborhood, Mary pulled John back to walk behind the group. She liked seeing so many people she loved all clumped together, talking and laughing and evolving before her very eyes. And she loved, most of all, having John there by her side as she did it.
They walked quietly together, skipping over uneven squares of the sidewalk.
“I think the heat finally broke,” John noted, lifting his head to the late afternoon sun, looking for once like he enjoyed its bright glare.
Mary nodded. “And soon it’ll be fall. My favorite season, I think. So bittersweet. So determined to remind everybody that everything is always changing.”
John nodded. “Plus, Estrella makes the most incredible walnut stuffing at Thanksgiving. That’s why I always look forward to the fall.”
“And then winter. Will you take me skating in Prospect Park?”
John grimaced. “I’ll death-grip the wall and inch along while you skate.”
She laughed. “And then ball games in the springtime. You like the Cyclones? We usually do a big birthday ball game celebration for Matty.”
“Sounds great. And then it’ll be summer again. Our time. I don’t think I’ll ever get through a hot summer and not think about this one. My favorite summer I’ve ever had.”
Mary flushed with pleasure. “And then it’ll all start over again. The whole cycle.”
John kissed her temple. “That’s right,” he agreed. “Time. We’ve got nothing but time.”
* * *
If you loved Flirting with Forever,
don’t miss a single book in the
Forever Yours series by Cara Bastone,
available now!
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Can’t Help Falling
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Part of me will probably always be amazed that this is my actual job. I get to spend time with these characters every morning, hot cup of coffee in my hand, dog at my feet. I’m proud of myself for making this dream of mine a reality and I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge all the people who this truly, truly couldn’t have happened without. To Tara Gelsomino, my patient agent, who always knows how to make a good manuscript even better. You are the person who somehow gets my work from my desktop out into the world. I can’t even begin to explain how many hats you have to wear to be able to do that. Thank you. Jess Verdi, you were the first person to believe these characters had what it took to stand up off the page. I can never, ever thank you enough for the chance you took on me. To Allison Carroll, my truly brilliant editor, do you kind of feel like we knew one another in a different life? I could not have written this book without your encouragement, your eye for detail, your vision and your perpetually amazing innate understanding of what I’m trying to say. To Bonnie Lo for combing through this manuscript and making it sparkle. To Michele Bidelspach for bringing this manuscript on home. To the entire HQN team, including all the people who will continue to shepherd this project well after I’ve written the acknowledgments page. To my proofreader, whoever you will be, you’re the bomb. Those who design the cover, you’re my heroes! To Ed Menchavez for consulting with me on what it means to be a public defender in this complicated world. Thank you! To my Ambro Fam and my Sands Fam, who knew pretty much nothing about the romance world but have all found ways to support me in this journey, thank you. I can’t imagine how an author could do this without all these people in her corner. And most of all, to Jon. Who can’t stop telling people how proud he is of my accomplishments. Who thinks I’m a badass. Who takes long walks with me and discusses tropes, plot devices, character arc. Who gently tells me when it’s time to take a break. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
ISBN-13: 9781488077753
Flirting with Forever
Copyright © 2021 by Cara Bastone
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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