He doesn’t seem to share my decisions.
“What do you say we hang out sometime?” He smiles, running his fingers through his hair and I get a chance to see his bulging bicep inked with letters wrapping around something that looks like a wreath.
So it’s not just Kace with the tattoos then.
Should I be feeling this way around Kace too? All my walls are up and I can’t seem to get away fast enough, mostly because he won’t let me.
“What do you say, Just Janey?” he asks again, and goosebumps fly up my arms.
“I don’t think that would be such a great idea,” I manage to say, and he chuckles at me, unfazed by my meek rejection.
Why am I so nervous around him? What am I missing?
“And why is that?” he asks, his smooth voice circling me like a trained predator.
“I don’t want to,” I whisper, watching him carefully. He smiles at my response and I try to return the smile, but I can only seem to manage a nod.
“You should give our friendship a chance, Janey. I hear you’ve got a thing for broken guys and I’m as broken as they come.” He winks before walking off, leaving me alone in the middle of the hallway, thoroughly confused and unsettled.
Broken guys? I can only assume he means Kace. He may be broken, but Kace isn’t. Damaged, sure, but not thoroughly broken. And who ever said I had a thing for Kace?
What’s there to like? The condescending tone he always has when he talks to me? The way he’s always quick to reject my help? The fact that he slashed my tires and didn’t even stick around to help me with the spare? But then again, there was the fact that before all this, Kace used to be the guy I’d doodle about in my notebooks. Not that anyone needs to know that.
So no, I definitely don’t like him or have a thing for him.
And the way his lips felt on yours, that little voice in my head teases. My cheeks blush a familiar shade of red at the introduction of the memory. But honestly, so what if I liked the feel of his hands on me? So what if his kiss excited parts of me that had never been excited before? I’m woman enough to admit that I liked that particular moment we shared. Just like I’m woman enough to admit that I like his scent and his voice, even if he’s gruff and barbaric.
Okay so there are things about him that I like. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I have a crush on him.
I watch as Lucas exits the hallway before I start walking again. I’m probably being irrational there too. He’s been nothing but polite to me, as opposed to Kace who has been nothing but gruff as of recent, so maybe I should give Lucas the benefit of the doubt, too. I can’t be on this crusade to treat everybody the same while judging Lucas based on what? The fact that he makes me queasy on the inside? Or the fact that I can’t seem to stop my brain from screaming or think straight when I’m around him? Or maybe the fact that he makes me want to run for the hills?
I’m pretty sure I’ve heard girls talk about the guys they’re into exactly like that. Does that mean I like Lucas?
It surely doesn’t feel like it.
I don’t make it very far before I hear another voice. A more familiar voice and I can’t stop the smile spreading across my face even before I turn around to face him.
“You really do need to be more careful about the company you keep, Janey Bradshaw.”
I nod, fidgeting with my sleeve. “Thanks for the warning.”
His face is set into a hard line. “Too bad you’re deaf or maybe just a little dumb.”
There’s no winning with him, is there?
I “bother” him and he insults me. I stay out of his way and he finds me just to insult me? How is that fair?
“I did what you asked, Kace. I stayed out of your way,” I respond with a sigh and turn to leave because I don’t feel up to dealing with his harshness. Especially not after the kind of night I’ve had.
“Wait,” he says, and I can hear uncertainty in his voice.
I pause mid-stride without turning.
“I heard what you said about me to Mrs. Jordan.” My shoulders tense as I wait to hear his follow up. “You’ve got real problems Bradshaw.”
I start to walk again.
“But you’re not half bad,” he finishes and I stop walking and slowly turn to face him, but he’s already walking away in the opposite direction.
What on earth was that? An actual compliment from Kace?
My cheeks are flushed as I practically hop down the hallway to the bookroom. It’s as quiet and just as abandoned as I remember it. My phone goes off. It’s a text from Erika asking where I am.
I’ve decided to forgive her, but I’m not ready to see her yet. I need some time to get my feelings sorted out without any external influences, as Cori likes to call them. I’m sure she didn’t mean to be offensive. I don’t imagine that most people set out to be. Except maybe Kace.
What was that about me being dumb? I don’t care how annoying he finds me, I did nothing to deserve that.
And then where did that “you’re not half bad” thing even come from?
Gosh! He’s so confusing.
Are all guys like this?
“What are you thinking about so intensely?”
I jump in my seat at the question. I didn’t hear anyone else come in. “Hi Sam,” I call over to him as he walks over to where I’m seated.
“Hey Janey.” Sam smirks as he takes a seat at my table. “You seemed pretty deep in thought there. Thinking about the fundraiser?” he asks, leaning back in his chair.
Sam is the Entertainment and Activities Coordinator for the Counsel. His black wavy hair is pulled up into a bun and his pale blue eyes bore into me with an unsettling intensity.
“Umm...no I was just trying to sort through some personal stuff. You know, lady matters.” I smile politely, silently hoping he’ll go away.
He leans forward and props up his elbows on the table before resting his chin in his hands. “That was quite a bombshell you dropped in the meeting today.”
I nod and lightly tap my pen on the edge of the table.
“How did you even know about that?” he asks, curiosity written all over his face. “I have my ears in the locker room and it’s not buzzing with any news.” He leans even closer to me. “How did you hear?”
“It’s not like it’s top secret information,” I scoff, trying not to roll my eyes.
“True, but it does seem odd that out of all of us, you’re the one who had dirt to dish.”
“Dirt to dish?” I ask, pulling away from him.
He makes it sound like I dropped a juicy slab of gossip into everyone’s lap and they’re all jealous they didn’t get to it first.
“Yeah. I liked your suggestion by the way.” He lowers his voice, slowly pulling his chair closer to mine, closing the gap between us. “That kind of gesture I expected from you. You’re so sweet, you know that?” He touches my forearm and I pull my hand away.
“I wish there was more we could do,” I confess with a sigh and he lays a hand on my shoulder.
“I know. You’re a sweetheart like that.”
I can feel my cheeks going red. He’s making me really uncomfortable with all this attention.
“Did Kace tell you about Bubba?” The question catches me completely off guard. There’s a flip in my chest at the mention of his name. I find myself squeezing my legs together to keep grounded.
“What?” I ask.
“I saw you talking to him in the hallway.”
“Oh.”
“I gotta say, Janey,” he drawls, running his finger along my arm. “Kace isn’t great company for a girl like you. Hanging around with him will definitely taint your reputation.” He seems oblivious to the fact that I don’t want him in my personal space, so I move my hand away from his and scoot over in my seat.
“Thanks for your concern,” I manage to respond despite my urge to let him know how wrong he is about Kace.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. Though I don’t know why that would. I’m just telling yo
u the truth, Janey. A guy like him would have people saying all sorts of things about you in no time.” He wheels his chair closer to mine like he thinks there’s reason for this conversation to draw on any longer. He’s starting to get under my skin. And not in a good way.
“Listen, Sam. I appreciate that you think you’re looking out for me, but really, there’s no need. Kace won’t hurt me and no I don’t quite care what people think of me.”
He chuckles at me and shakes his head in a way that feels condescending.
“Why bother anyway? A bum like him, isn’t worth your time.”
“Yeah? Who here is?” I ask and I’m not sure if I’m defending Kace or myself.
“Well,” he smirks, “I mean, you’re cute. In an understated kind of way. You’re unique. I, for one, would be thrilled to show you a good time.”
“Sam. You’re being disgusting.” I roll my eyes and start packing my bag.
Whatever study session I intended on having has been blown to hell and I certainly won’t be staying in here. Especially not with him.
I turn, rather than storming out like I’d intended to. “You know what, Sam,” I snap, hands on my hips and venom in my gaze. “I’m not sure what the hell your problem is. As a matter of fact, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with all of you. Did Kace hurt your little feelings? Is that why you’ve got your panties in a bunch? Or do you just go around hating people for no particular reason?” I zip my bag up and throw it over my shoulder.
If Sam’s mouth were any longer, his jaw would have hit his shoes. Lucky for him, he manages to snap it right back up. Unlucky for me, he starts yapping again.
“You’re into him, aren’t you?” he finally says and I grunt, pushing away the chair and heading for the door.
He somehow crosses the table and before I know it, his fingers are curled around my arm.
“Hey, you’re making a big mistake there, Janey. Think about your future.”
“Let go of me, Sam,” I warn, but his grip seems to get tighter on my arm. “I said let me go.” I try to pull away from him, but his face hardens, and I can tell I’ve wounded his ego. Too bad.
“You want to rebel, Janey? Is that it?” He pulls me to him, and I can’t believe he’s being so physical. “Is that why you’re so hung up on Kace? Though, to be honest, I never pegged you as the type to go after the bad boys. But if you want someone who’s not afraid to take charge, let me take charge of this situation.”
I thump my fist against his chest and try to shove him off me, but his basketball frame is formidable against my poor eating habits. Still, I manage to cut through the sanity that still exists in him. His fingers soften around my arm, though he hasn’t completely let me go
“Listen Janey. I’m not trying to hurt you, I swear.”
“You already are,” I grunt, trying to pry his fingers away from my arm.
His eyes soften as he lets me go and I head for the door.
“Janey wait,” he calls after me, but I’m already stumbling through the door and because life has a thing out for me today, I slam into a chest as firm as marble. I’m only half aware that I’m shaking as I glance up at Kace and see him staring icily into the room at Sam.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice clipped, cold and calculated.
I nod, worried about the harsh look in his eyes.
When I look behind me, Sam is standing with his arms folded and his chest buffed out.
“Don’t drag her down with you, Kace,” he sneers, loud enough for his words to slice right through every ounce of tension in the moment.
“Fuck you, Sam,” Kace calls back, slamming the door shut.
He starts walking off again and I find my feet following him.
“Thanks,” I mutter lamely and he stops so suddenly I bump into him again.
“What are you thanking me for? He’s not wrong. I’ll drag you down if you keep this crap up.”
“Stop that,” I groan, adjusting the bag on my shoulder. “Just shut up for a second.”
He’s all doom and gloom all the time. It is seriously working on my nerves.
“You said you heard what I was saying to Mrs. Jordan. Did you also hear me say I got her to agree to a special tutoring session the other day?”
His face hardens and his shoulders become brick walls.
“I don’t need you to feel sorry for me, Janey. A tutoring session won’t change anything. You can’t fix what’s wrong with me.”
I hear the bookroom door slam again and look up to see Sam walking away in the opposite direction. Kace’s eyes follow him longer than mine do, and I suddenly remember that they used to be teammates. I can’t imagine what that must be like. Going from having tons of friends, to losing the only friend you have left.
“I don’t pity you, Kace,” I whisper. He turns to face me and I want to find the right words to get through to him. “I just want you to prove him wrong. I want you to have the choice to cross the stage in May. I want you to be proud when you put on your cap and gown. I want you to shock them into silence with your success. I want you to come out on top.”
He laughs a little at that, but it’s the dry kind of laugh, without even an ounce of humor in it.
“Why?” he asks after a while, everything about him a lot softer than I’ve ever seen it.
I stomp down the feelings that charge through the pit of my stomach and shrug. “Because you can,” I say and turn to walk away. There’s really not much more to it than that.
I take one step and then another, grateful that he doesn’t follow me as I turn off into the restroom. Why the hell my heart is racing like it’s found an exit to my chest, I haven’t a clue. What I do know, however, is that I ought to get my shit together. And I ought to do it quick.
I push myself into the bathroom. The door clicks behind me within a few seconds. And in even less time, I’m standing in front of the mirror, hunched over the sink, watching the way my heart pulses in my throat. My palms are sweaty and I’m shaking again. This is becoming typical around him. I’m not sure why he keeps doing this to me and it annoys me that I seem to have no effect on him whatsoever.
‘You’re pretty lame, Janey,’ I shake my head at my reflection as I splash water on my face and blot it dry.
I’m not like this around every guy, thankfully. I couldn’t get away from Sam fast enough, though that was for a whole other reason. I’m not sure what his game is, but I’m not playing it. Hell, I’m not even interested in being a spectator.
Then there’s Lucas who, all of a sudden, has decided to creep me out with his random appearances. Lucas, though, is different. He scares me. I can’t say why, I just know he does.
Kace, on the other hand, doesn’t scare me at all. It’s so strange how he goes out of his way to be a bully, yet I want to treat him like one of my puppies, while Lucas is trying to be Mr. Nice Guy and I want to mace him all over the school compound.
Honestly, I’m trying my hardest not to judge Lucas, but he has a darkness around him that seems to emanate from him instead of engulfing him.
Kace has a flicker of light hiding under a bushel inside him somewhere. It constantly throws out random beams of light, but he hides it so well from everyone. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only person who gives a damn about looking close enough to see that it’s there.
I’m not sure why I keep comparing them, but something inside me won’t rest until I figure out what the real problem is. That’s the same “something” that told me Kace was faking his delinquency and he’s yet to prove me wrong, so I’m pretty sure I’m right about Lucas too. I just don’t know why or how. I’ve literally only spoken to him a handful of times.
“The friend of my enemy is no friend of mine,” the words sound as loud as thunder and I spin around, uncertain of where the voice came from.
“Hello?” I call out, but the echo of my voice against the wall is my only response.
What the hell is happening to me?
“The friend of my enemy is no frien
d of mine.” This time, I’m the one saying the words, shaking my head as I repeat them. And then I turn the tap on, trying like hell to drown out my thoughts.
I wash my hands.
I dry them.
I dry the counter.
I wash my hands again.
As the water runs over my palms for a second time, the thought becomes more urgent and takes on its own voice. The friend of my enemy is no friend of mine.
“Oh no,” I whisper, staring up at my reflection.
I’m not full blown crazy and I’m not wrong about Lucas either! Lucas. Lucas hates Kace. The sudden realization feels like a punch to my gut and I hang onto the sink.
I race around in my mind trying to put pieces together. There has to be a reason I feel the way I do about Lucas. Those words don’t seem to be enough. What is it? Where is this fear coming from? I go back in my mind to the day I bumped into him. It’s also the day I barged into Kace’s safe space, which somehow, I think he shared with Bubba.
There was something that he said about Lucas. There must have been.
I squeeze my eyes shut, digging around in my brain trying to find the seed that was planted and my eyes fly open as soon as I do. It’s not what he said, it’s what he did.
It was so subtle, no wonder I missed it.
I didn’t barge into his safe space. He took me there and only after I mentioned Lucas!
He’s trying to protect me from Lucas for some reason and I know in my heart it has something to do with Bubba. Kace doesn’t want me to end up like Bubba, and he somehow thinks that talking to Lucas could lead to that. God, that is such a stretch, but why does it feel like I’m right about this?
My mind is working overtime, creating and discarding endless possibilities at mock speed. If Lucas wants to hurt me, why wouldn’t Kace just come out and say that to me? Why would Lucas even want to hurt me in the first place? He doesn’t even know me.
Darn it, Kace, you’re so incredibly stressful, even without trying to be.
I dry my hands on a paper towel one last time and head out the door in search of him. I waste no time checking the classrooms. When I don’t find him in any of them, I head straight to the roof to begin what I hope will be a very short manhunt. When I approach the top of the steps I’m out of breath and unsure of whether or not I should go any further.
Infinite Fury (High School Bully Romance) Page 13
