I take the guitar back to my couch and start tuning it to perfection. When everything is sounding the way it should, I start playing whatever notes come to mind. Almost on their own, lyrics start flooding my brain and I stop to grab some paper and a pencil.
* * *
I was lost,
lonely,
broken when I met you, met you.
I was cold,
scared,
broken when I met you, met you.
You walked into that smoky bar
and sucked the air from the room.
You lit my world on fire
and suddenly
there was nothing but you, but you.
* * *
My singing stops, as do my fingers. What am I even doing? I’m in a rock band that refuses to cover romantic songs. This will never make it past my living room walls. I push the pad of paper away and lay down the guitar. I finish off my glass of Jack and go to put my glass in my sink. As I’m turning off the lights and locking up, someone knocks on the door. I look through the peephole and see Daniel. Even though I know I should, I don’t hesitate opening the door. He gives me one look and somehow manages to read every emotion bubbling up inside me. Seconds later, he’s stepping into my apartment and pulling me against him, his lips on mine. The door gets slammed shut as he picks me up against him, carrying me to my room.
Monday comes around and as I’m getting ready for this meeting, excitement and nervousness are filling my entire body, making it almost feel weighed down. Today is like the moment of truth. Today will forever change my life. I’ll either get everything I’ve ever wanted and lose Daniel in the process, or I’ll lose everything I’ve ever wanted and get a guy I’m not totally sure about. I want Daniel, but do I want to spend my life with him? We haven’t been together long enough to figure that out yet.
I grab my things and head toward the door, meeting up at the garage with the band so we can drive over together. Van and I haven’t talked much since the night we got into the fight. We’ve had practice every night since, but neither of us has even uttered a word in the other’s direction unless it was about the music. We came in, did our job, and left without so much as a hello, goodbye, or fuck you.
As we’re all leaving the garage to pile into the van we take to gigs, Van pulls me aside. “Look, Luna, I meant everything I said the other night, but I’m not trying to butt into your life. I’m just concerned for the band and our future. It wasn’t my place to say those things, but I felt they needed to be said. Can we please let this go so we can enjoy this day?”
“You’re right, Van. It wasn’t your place to say those things. In fact, everything you said I’d already thought of before. I know now isn’t the time to get into a relationship, which is why Daniel and I aren’t serious. We’ve already had the same discussion. He knows that if I have to choose between him or this band, I’ll choose the band. We’ve worked too hard and for too long to give up an opportunity like this.”
He looks at me from beneath his lashes. “So, we’re friends again?” He offers up a small, hopeful smile.
I laugh. “We’re always been friends, you idiot.”
He laughs and pulls me in for a long hug. “All right, let’s go learn our destiny, shall we?”
“We shall,” I agree, leading the way to the van.
As we’re playing for the label, I try to avoid focusing on the outcome of this meeting. Instead, I trick myself into believing we’re just playing our usual set in some dirty, smoke-filled bar. I even imagine that Daniel is sitting in the audience, watching me with those intense eyes of his. I give the music my all, but it’s a bit different from playing in front of our usual crowd. They get hyped and I can’t help but absorb their energy. These stuffy, professional music-makers give me nothing but their attention. I’m having to pull the energy from within myself, and that leaves me feeling weak and tired.
We play our top three songs, and at the end, I’m breathless and feeling even more nervous. They whisper amongst themselves, their eyes always flickering back to us before going back to their whispers. I look back at the guys and they look just as nervous as I am. Van is chewing on his bottom lip, Ridge is twirling his hair around his finger, and Lane is tapping his hands on his thighs.
Finally, the three people sitting in chairs in front of us look up. The man in the middle smiles and says, “Congratulations!” The guys start screaming and picking me up, hugging and jumping. I don’t even get to hear the rest of what the man is saying.
The remainder of the afternoon is spent in a blur of meetings, paperwork, and talk of the future. It’s all just a whirlwind of one thing after another. Even though I’m filled with excitement, I’m also overwhelmed. There’s so much going on and so much to do—so many plans that it causes my anxiety to spike. We’re given the paperwork but I insist on having our lawyer check it over.
Technically, our band doesn’t have lawyer yet, but I happen to know one. Tuesday morning, I head over to his office with the file folder containing the paperwork. I walk into the office and there’s a pretty woman sitting behind the desk.
“Hello, do you have an appointment with Mr. Smith or Mr. Young?”
“I don’t have an appointment, but I’m here to see Daniel—I mean, Mr. Smith.”
“I’m sorry, Miss, but I can’t let you through without an appointment.” She starts looking at her computer, trying to find an acceptable date and time for me to return. As she’s looking at her computer screen, I take a few steps back, seeing the door to his office. I know it’s his because his name is on it. I quickly knock and open the door. Daniel is behind his desk with another man sitting across from him.
“Miss, you can’t go in there!” the woman yells from behind me.
Daniel stands up. “Luna, what are you doing here?”
The woman runs in ahead of me. She’s breathless from her short jog. “I’m sorry, Mr. Smith, Mr. Young. My eyes were only off her long enough to make her an appointment, and she was gone.”
Daniel holds up his hand, silencing her. “It’s fine, Katherine. Would you two give us a minute, please?”
“Of course,” Calvin says, standing up and moving toward the door with the breathless woman.
When the door closes behind them, Daniel takes a step toward me. “What’s going on?” he asks, fear and worry evident on his face, probably thinking I’m in some sort of trouble.
I smile wide. “We got signed!”
The corners of his mouth turn upward and he grins. “That’s awesome!” he says, picking me up against him and spinning me around. “I knew they wouldn’t pass on you.”
He sets me back on my feet and our eyes meet. His hands are still around my waist and I feel the tension between us begin to grow. It’s like we’ve both realized at the exact same moment that this means our time is nearly over. Sadness seems to settle over us both. Electricity pops and crackles between us, pulling us closer and closer until our lips are pressed together. I drop the file folder on his desk and reach up, wrapping my arms around his neck as our kiss grows more urgent. My hands move up to thread into his hair as I pull him closer. I need him closer. I need him as close as he can get because deep down, I think we both know that this could be our last time.
His hands fall from the small of my back down to my ass, and he squeezes it firmly as he picks me up against him. I’m only half-aware that I’m being moved until I feel him set me on top of his desk. With his hands now free, he pushes and pulls my clothing away until I’m completely naked and waiting on him like I’m just some sort of paperweight. As he frees himself from his dress pants, I work on unbuttoning his shirt and loosening his tie. If this is our last time, then I want to see all of him, touch all of him.
He pushes into me without warning and we both let out a quiet moan of relief. His jaw flexes as his eyes focus on my face, my breasts, and where we’re connecting. “Fuck, Luna. You have no idea how hard it is to stay away from you.” He thrusts deeper. “You’re so fucking perfect
.” He slides out and pushes back in forcefully. “It’s like you were made just for me.”
A moan slips past my lips as I dig my black painted fingernails into his back. “I was made for you, Daniel. I’m all yours.”
“Mine,” he grunts out, pushing into me deeper and deeper until I’m shattering around him. When my release ends, he pulls out of me, picks me up, and sets me on my feet with my back to him. His hand lands on the small of my back as he pushes me to bend over his desk in front of him. Without warning, he’s claiming me yet again. I wrap my hand around the edge of the desk, holding on for dear life as he works me over.
“You’re mine and I’m going to make sure you always remember it,” he says, thrusting into me so hard my hips bang off the edge of the desk. I let out a loud moan as I feel my release building once again. “That’s right. Let them all know who you belong to,” he says, pulling his hips back and doing it again. This time, it’s the last push I needed to make me fall over the edge of the world as I drown in my own pleasure.
As I’m falling, he reaches around, his fingers finding my clit and rubbing the bundle of nerves—making my legs shake and threaten to go weak beneath me, but the added sensation only causes my release to keep flowing longer. With my muscles squeezing around his cock like a vise, his own release rises and he lets out a hushed moan as he spills himself inside me. It’s the first time he hasn’t pulled out and I can’t help but wonder why now? I’m on birth control, so it’s not like it’s unprotected, but still, why now? Is it his final farewell? Is he hoping to get me pregnant as a way to tie himself to me as my life is about to take off? His hips jerk as he pumps the last of himself into me and comes to a stop.
The room is quiet with the exception of our loud breathing as he bends down and rests his head against my back to calm himself. After several long minutes of us coming back down to earth, he removes himself from me and I stand upright.
“I’m sorry. I just got carried away. You felt so good and everything you said . . . it made it more intense,” he says, cupping my chin so my eyes stay locked on his.
“I’m on birth control, so there’s nothing to worry about, Daniel.”
He nods as he lets his eyes fall closed. Slowly, he leans toward me and kisses me softly.
When he pulls away, he picks up my clothes and hands them to me so we can get dressed. We sit at his desk and I pick up the file. “I actually came here to tell you the news, but also to ask if you’d be the band’s lawyer. We have all this legal stuff to sign and I can’t decipher any of it.”
“Well, let’s see what you have.” He holds out his hand and I give him the folder.
He places it on his desk and opens it up, looking over the pages. After several long minutes, he looks up. “It looks like a pretty standard contract. I don’t see anything hidden or misleading. If this is what you want, then I say it’s safe to sign it. This is your percentage and this is theirs.”
“So it’s a good deal?”
“I don’t know much about the music industry or rock stars, but yes, I think it is. Seems very generous to me.”
I smile. “Good. So will you be the band’s lawyer?” I’d love another reason to have him around more.
He leans back in his chair. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for a little while now. Well, since I found out about the meeting, anyway. I guess now is as good a time as any,” he starts, and I already know what he’s going to say.
“I really like you, Luna. And if you were just an ordinary person, I wouldn’t have any doubts about our future. But you’re not a normal person. You’re so much more than just normal. You’re special and meant for great things. With you signing with this label, I’m afraid to keep this thing going between us much longer. You’ll be busy and probably touring soon. You’ll be traveling around the world and I . . . I’ll be here. I’m afraid this won’t work out well for us, and I’d rather break free now before someone gets hurt. Now, with that being said, I can and will be the band’s lawyer, but us sleeping together would be a conflict of interest. If I’m working for you and the band, then we can’t continue to do this thing we’re doing.”
I nod. “I understand and I’ve been feeling the same way. I’ve had a great time with you, Daniel, and if I were a normal person, I know I’d belong with you even though we’ve only been together a short time. You’re so different from all the other guys I’ve been with. But I agree . . . the longer we do this thing we’re doing, the greater the chances of one of us getting hurt, and I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to be hurt either. So, with the greater good of the band in mind, I would like to hire you to be our lawyer.” I smile and hold out my hand to shake. He offers up a fake smile of his own and places his hand in mine.
Six
Daniel
That was hard to do, but it had to be done and both of us knew it. At least if I’m the band’s lawyer, I’ll still have an excuse to see her, go to her shows, and dream about what could’ve been—something I’m sure I’ll be doing for the rest of my life.
When she walked in here, I was afraid something was wrong, and it was. She got what she’s always wanted and as upset as that made me, I couldn’t be happier for her. She’s worked long and hard and deserves this more than anyone. I think we both knew that it would be our last time, and that got to me. I lost myself in her completely. So much so that I did something I never do: I had unprotected sex without bothering to pull out as an extra precaution. Everything was just too good. She felt too good. The things we were saying about her being mine were too good. It was perfect, even if it was all a lie.
I agree to be her lawyer and we shake hands. That’s a long way from where we were just moments ago. I know this woman in ways others don’t. She’s worked herself beneath my skin in just a few short weeks. I’m highly addicted to her and have no idea how I’m going to handle the withdrawal, but I know it’s better to do it sooner rather than later.
When she walks out to meet up with the band and tell them the news, I feel that pull between us tugging. I almost expect it to snap now that we’re done, but it doesn’t. It only seems to gain strength. It gets tighter but stretches further. That makes me worry. I’d hoped I’d be able to let go once our feelings were out there, but I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread.
I push everything away, deciding to keep my mind off her and the band by immersing myself in work. When the day ends, instead of going home to shower to get ready to see her, or attend a Wonder Kings practice or show, I head straight to the gym and change into a spare set of clothes I keep in my locker for emergencies. I overwhelm myself by running five miles, then move on to lifting weights. I spend the rest of the night in the gym, working out until I can barely lift my arms. By the time I get home, I can’t think about anything other than a shower and sleep.
It’s been a week, but it’s finally the day the band is set to sign their contracts and make everything official. Apparently, the afterparty was moved to today and I’ve been formally invited by the record label. I haven’t seen Luna all week, and while the first few days were hard, it’s gotten easier the longer we’ve gone without seeing each other. But I also have no idea how today is going to go since I’ll be seeing her for the first time since we changed the nature of our relationship.
I jump in the shower to get ready for the meeting, and as I hold my face under the hot flow of water, I close my eyes. Instantly, she’s all I can see. The way she looks up on stage, giving her music her all. The way she looks when no one else is looking. When she laughs, open and free. The way her lips part when I slide into her. I can hear her gasps, her moans, and her sighs of fulfillment when I roll off of her. My body comes alive with these thoughts and I know I’ll be a dead man if I don’t take care of this problem.
I take myself in hand and picture sliding into her. That gasp fills my ears and my blood begins to boil. As I pump myself up and down, I imagine the way she touches me when I’m sliding into her. The way she holds me tight. The feeling of
her hot breath blowing on my neck, her breasts pressed against my chest, how tight her thighs are wrapped around me. Then I imagine her telling me she’s mine all over again, and before I know it, I’m spilling every last drop onto the shower floor with a moan that echoes off the tiled bathroom walls.
It takes a moment to come back down into my body—to catch my breath and slow my heart rate. Finally, I regain control and turn off the water before stepping out and wrapping a towel around my hips. I look at myself in the mirror and know I need to shave the scruff on my jaw, but I feel entirely too weak to do so. This last week has been a struggle. I have to force myself to go to sleep, wake up, go to work, and do all my usual things like shave, eat, and work out. I can’t imagine how I would’ve felt had this thing between us gone on and gotten stronger. If I’m this lost without her now, things would’ve only gotten worse.
I dress in a suit and force myself to make my hair look presentable. I don’t want her to see me and know how lost I’ve been without her. In fact, I have an idea and it could backfire on me, but the more armed I can be to see her, the better. I need everything I can get to keep myself in check.
I make a couple phone calls to ensure everything’s in place. Then I head down to the record label to witness the signing of the contracts. I’m shown to the office and everyone is already present. Luna looks me up and down and smiles when I catch her checking me out. I wink at her and smile to be friendly, but all I really want to do is kick everyone out of this office so I can fuck her six ways to Sunday.
“Welcome, Mr. Smith,” one of the music execs says.
Rocking His FAKE World: A Fake Boyfriend, Opposites Attract Romance (Love You Forever Book 3) Page 6
