Resist Me (Unchained Attraction Book 4)

by K. L. Shandwick

  “Wait that’s you and your parents in the picture… Patty?” James blurted,

  His arms tightened further around me when the penny suddenly dropped. Tension immediately steeled his arms when he repeated the nickname my mom used for me.

  “You and your parents?” Erin asked, sounding confused. Would someone please tell me what’s going on?” she urged and I felt her insecurity radiate from her.

  James pulled out of our embrace and slid his hand into mine. He gave it a small squeeze. “Erin, come and sit here, sweetheart,” he told her, gesturing for her to come from where she stood at my side to sit at his. She sat down beside him. I glanced over at her new boyfriend, Ryder, and wondered what the hell he must have been making of it all. James turned the laptop for Erin to see clearly.

  “That’s Elizabeth and Les as you know them, Betty and Lester as I know them. They’re Tricia’s parents—your grandma and granddad.”

  “That’s you?” Erin gasped and sucked in a breath, her eyes huge and round in shock that both her adoptive parents and mine had deceived us both. Memories from that day came flooding back, and my heart squeezed tight because it had felt tortuous being in that home in Ohio, in the company of that little girl.”

  “You must remember being there—Tricia?” James prompted when I hadn’t replied.

  “I do, and I hated every minute of that visit. All day long I thought how cruel my mother had been to have taken me there, when their daughter was the same age as mine would have been.” I began to shake again when I relived how I’d felt in my mind. A tight feeling gripped my head and my chest, and I wanted to scream.

  “Your father knows? Surely he couldn’t have known all along and said nothing? Not a word in all those years?” James interjected when the full weight of the implication hit him. Not only was I struggling with that revelation, I also felt degraded by my parents’ betrayal. I had sat in the same room as my child and had tried to avoid her. It felt sickening to think her parents and mine had colluded in this fucked-up battery of deceit and lies.

  I stared at Erin and saw the same pain in her eyes I carried in my heart in that moment, but through the web of mistrust and untruths they had spun, they had unwittingly created a mutual bond as we suffered together.

  Chapter Twenty

  Poor Ryder must have thought he’d entered the twilight zone with everything he witnessed during that evening at James’ family retreat. He was very gracious and threw in a few cliché comments such as, “You can pick your friends, but you can’t choose your relatives.”

  At least Ryder was correct on that score and his comment made Erin smile, but I had thought it especially cruel of our so-called parents to have arranged such a visit and to have left me oblivious as to who I was meeting.

  Worst of all was the way my mother had insisted my ordeal was never to be discussed again, for fear of my father finding out, when from the picture Erin had shown me it looked as if my dad had always known.

  “Erin and Ryder are going to spend the day out on the lake on Jet Skis. They’re both into water sports so I’ve arranged for our sports instructor to take them out.”

  “You have a sports instructor here?”

  “Yeah, he has a few hats, but it’s his job to supervise any guests on the water. He also oversees the gym and the boats, maintains the equipment, and that kind of thing. Dad let’s some friends use the place, so he’s kept pretty busy at certain times of the year.”

  I should have known better than to ask. A place such as their family retreat couldn’t have run by itself. “Why aren’t we going with them?”

  “I have something different planned for us. I want to show you something,” he added, with a secretive playful smile and a wink. “We’ll go our separate ways and meet back here at the house for dinner.”

  “Sounds intriguing,” I replied, and tried to sound upbeat for the rest of the group at least. It had taken most of my energy to appear upbeat after the revelation of the photograph the night before.

  Leaving Erin and Ryder behind, in the hands of the estate staff, James took me back to the helicopter. The pilot stood waiting by the door.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “I thought we’d take a tour in the bird for a few hours, have a late lunch, maybe stop off in Woodstock and take a walk?”

  “Sounds like a perfect day,” I replied, pulling him close by his belt. Stretching up, I kissed his jawline. Moving quickly, he dipped and kissed my lips, it was just a peck because he knew Erin and Ryder were standing by the garage doors with the instructor and were watching us.

  Unlike the trip up to Vermont, we sat in the front. Watching the ground disappear beneath us, as the helicopter took off and gained altitude, had felt exhilarating. The rumble and vibrations from the engine, together with the noise from the blades whirring up above us, made my heart race in a good way for a change. It had felt invigorating after all the distress I’d been carrying from the evening before.

  During the flight there were times when I’d forgotten the pilot even existed, as James held me protectively close and told me stories from his childhood, which coincided with various landmarks he pointed out.

  The views of the mountains and small towns below looked calm and idyllic, and eventually the pilot set down in a long meadow a few miles past the amazing site of Quechee Gorge. The tranquil surroundings were exactly what I needed to bring calm to my heart.

  As the pilot topped up the fuel from two extra gas cans we’d carried with us, James took out a picnic basket and a neatly folded quilted blanket. Taking me by the hand, he led me deeper into a clearing near a waterfall and laid the picnic setting out.

  “Wow, this is very romantic,” I mumbled, a soft smile curving my lips for the first time that day.

  “You think so?” he asked a little shyly, while he pulled a bottle of champagne out of an insulated sleeve, popped the cork, and poured it into a glass for me.

  Taking a sip, I hummed at the sharp cleansing taste and took a bite of a sweet juicy strawberry he held up to my mouth.

  “Damn, you’re on your game today,” I teased, in reference to how I’d imagined he must have captured many girls’ hearts in the past.

  “You think I’ve got game?” he asked, playfully sounding amused. I considered my comment in light of everything I’d learned about him.

  My smile dropped and I looked serious. “No, no I don’t. I think at one time you did, but since I’ve known you, I think you’re the most genuine man I’ve ever met in my life. The way you consistently take care of me, challenge me to be myself, love me, despite all the shit that somehow keeps seeping up to the surface in my life…”

  “It’s my pleasure to take care of you and it’s because of how strong you have been through all of this that I probably love you even more. Every time I learn something else about you, I am amazed by how you’ve survived. Not many women could have gone on to an Ivy League college and aced their career in the way you did with all that worry on your mind. You even went farther than that, when you stepped out of that life and decided to try to give back.”

  I nodded and stared quietly in amazement. “You always want to see the best in me.”

  “No, Tricia, I believe you are the best. You’re the only woman I’ve ever felt worth my time. I’ve known hundreds of beautiful women, women with personality and charm, pretty looks, and some have been great fun, but none of them have ever remotely touched me in same the way that you have.”

  “That sounds like a Nobel Peace Prize kind of speech,” I stated, slightly embarrassed for his compliment.

  He chuckled. “I’m not going to lie, there’s been a pile of shit to wade through because of your past, but that has only been one part of who you are. It’s everything else that makes what happened with Erin so damned important, because helping you find peace is the key to making the rest of our lives the best it can be.”

  I touched his cheek and he leaned into me, flashing me an encouraging smile with a look that told me he
adored me. “I can never thank you enough for being here for me, for helping me brave my past, and for helping to bring Erin back into my life. I’m in awe at how accepting you are of this whole situation. Most of the men I have ever known would have left me a note rather than take all of that on.”

  “Ah, but I’m not most men, I want to be the man. And hearing you tell me I’ve given you courage warms my heart.”

  “You are the man, James.” I swallowed and studied him for a moment while I gathered my thoughts. “The moment I see you when I come home from work my heart flutters … no matter how bad my day has been.”

  Balancing his drink carefully on a flat piece of rock, he took my hand, laced our fingers together, and lifted them to his lips. He peppered kisses over the back of my hand but kept his piercing gaze on me. My heart squeezed tight with love for his intimate gesture.

  Swallowing back an emotional wave I continued. “When you wrap your arms around me and hold me like you do, there are no words for how safe you make me feel. I never realized how long I’d been in free fall until I let you in.”

  “I get it, Tricia. When we first met, I guess we were both scared of our own shadows, because of our treatment at the hands of others. Before Charlotte, I had honestly thought I was invincible. That bitch almost wrecked me, and who knows, if Sawyer hadn’t met Billie, she may well have succeeded. It was only due to her jealousy of their love that she ran at the mouth and the truth about how she blackmailed me came out.”

  “Manipulators like her give women a bad name,” I agreed, “I’m so sad that happened to you.”

  Taking our hands to his chest, he sighed. “That period in my life was a living hell but it was nothing compared to what I’ve seen you go through … what you still are going through.”

  For a long moment he stared into my eyes and the air between us thickened. The love I felt arcing between us had felt palpable.

  “Despite all the difficult days I’ve felt helpless to know what to say, I want you know you have never been lost. You’re not lost. I still see you, Tricia … the real you. Through all that pain you carry, the connection we share … it’s phenomenal— unlike anything I can begin to explain. And if I can see past that load you have carried, I need you to know you are one of a kind.”

  I considered what James had said and Sawyer came into my mind. When Billie met Sawyer, and I watched them fall in love, I had thought their love story was epic. Sawyer was a romantic, but when I measured how James had nurtured, loved, and protected me, I knew James had far more in common with his younger brother than either of them realized.

  “So, what’s next?” James asked, handing me a carefully prepared sandwich and some chips on a paper plate.

  “My father … and my mother’s will …” I groaned. “Although I don’t think I can face the hypocrisy of sitting through that event, but let’s not talk about my family anymore right now. I’m having such a perfect day with you all to myself, which has been invaluable to my sanity … likely to yours as well.”

  “Done,” he replied, taking the hint immediately and steered the topic of conversation on to things we wanted to do for the rest of our time in Vermont. He pulled me over him and sat me between his legs. Hugging me from behind, he kissed my head and we sat in a comfortable silence listening to the calming sound of the waterfall.

  The lunch his staff had packed tasted delicious and after we’d packed the picnic basket up, James helped me up into the helicopter and stowed the basket on the floor beneath the back seat. When he had climbed in beside me, and we’d both buckled up, the chopper pilot lifted off again.

  The next stop that we made was in Woodstock, home to the famous music festival. There we did a mini bar crawl, drinking cocktails and eyeing the impressive displays of music memorabilia from the artists who had previously performed.

  By the time we made it back to the field where the helicopter had landed, we were very mellow and tipsy. I hadn’t wanted the day to end when I saw the sun was getting lower in the sky.

  “Aren’t we going home now?” I asked, through the helmet headset.

  “Soon, just one more quick stop before we head for home,” he answered, a soft smile on his lips, but as he turned to look straight ahead again, his smile immediately dropped. For a few seconds I studied him unaware and decided he’d looked worried.

  “Is something bothering you?” I asked, and saw his body stiffen at my question.

  “No. What makes you say that?” he asked, glancing at me but not keeping eye contact like a challenge as he normally would have done.

  I narrowed my eyes and continued to scrutinize him. “Are you sure?” I probed because the version of James in front of me was nothing like the carefree guy I’d had lunch with.

  “Of course, where we want to go isn’t that far from here,” he explained, changing the subject, then immediately pointed out another place of interest in the hope of diverting me from my question again.

  For a few minutes we sat mainly in silence and listened to the pilot when he made reference to a couple of places of interest. I had begun to relax again when the pilot suddenly veered off to the west and we headed over a ridge. My eyes almost popped out of my head and tears sprang to my eyes. A huge swell of emotion brought a lump to my throat when I looked at the ground in front of me.

  As far as the eye could see were miles upon miles of sunflowers; the massive bed of green and sunburst yellow made a perfectly uniformed carpet of gorgeous blooms beneath us.

  “I’d have bought you a bouquet of those, but I figured you’d prefer I left them in their natural state for you to enjoy,” James told me, smiling affectionately when he saw tears on my cheeks. “Aw don’t cry,” he whispered pulling my head closer and resting it on his shoulder.

  I had wanted to say something, but I couldn’t speak for the lump in my throat and sat up bobbing my head like I’d been possessed. Chuckling, he turned to face me as much as he could and wiped my tears from my eyes.

  “We don’t have long because the sun won’t last, and we have to head back before dark. But I couldn’t bring you out here without taking you down for a few minutes at least.” As he said that the pilot moved to a clearing and landed a couple of minutes later.

  Helping me out of the door, he slung an arm over my shoulder and we ran away from the chopper, ducking our heads before the rotors had fully stopped.

  James helped me over a fence and into the field. “These are view only,” he told me as we walked through a patch of sunflowers at waist height and not fully grown, before stopping a minute later. All around me was one huge flower bed with us almost lost in the middle.

  Pointing into the distance, James commented on how their heads were following the sun. My eyes followed his gaze and when I looked back to talk to him, he had knelt on one knee in front of me. A buzz of adrenaline lit up my body and I began to shake.

  Holding up an ancient, green velvet box with a beautiful delicate rose gold emerald and diamond antique ring inside. It was simply stunning and the fact he’d chosen the same stones as those that Billie had for her ring wasn’t lost on me either. Those brothers were so in sync with one another.

  “Tricia Mattison, I have been waiting patiently for the opportunity to ask you a very important question. Until now, the time has never felt right … actually the time may still not be right, but to put it frankly, I am tired of waiting my turn. I’ve been a very patient man where you are concerned, but with catastrophes and revelations stalking you at every turn, I fear there may never be that precise moment, if I don’t jump in and claim what is mine.”

  “James,” I said softly, and he shook his head like he didn’t want me to speak.

  “Since then we’ve shared a few life-changing moments. Billie and Sawyer’s wedding, the birth of the twins, Erin coming back, and the death of your mom. Each of those have brought out some heavy emotions, but I’m hoping this one is different than those, and I pray I will never cause you any pain.”

  “I…”


  “Shh, I’m not done,” he replied, nervously with a chuckle. “Several times I have almost proposed, but something else has gotten in the way and stolen that moment from me. Each time I told myself you deserved a perfect day before I asked you. Today you used that word to describe the time we’ve spent together … which I have tried to create. I wanted a simple perfect day for my simply perfect woman, and here we are. So, Tricia, what do you say? Would you do me the honor of being my wife … will you marry me?”

  Tears blinded me, but they never stopped me from staring down at the beautiful man I wanted to feel worthy of. James was the man who forgave my past, had ignored any obstacles I had put in his way, and despite all my baggage had told me he wanted me anyway.

  “Yes,” I choked out, my throat stinging from the strain of trying to keep it open when it had desperately wanted to close. Fresh tears burned back there which made me swallow repeatedly.

  “Yes?” he repeated like I hadn’t sounded convincing, but when I saw how the setting sun made his eyes glint with happiness I knew that I had.

  I nodded. “It … I … damn, James, I thought you’d never ask,” I blurted, chuckling.

  Rising back to his feet, he picked me up and spun me around before placing me back on my feet. Smiling shyly, he chuckled. “Damn, that was hard,” he muttered, but grabbed my hair from behind, tilted my head to how he wanted me, and gave me another one of his bone-melting kisses.

  Desire flooded my body and I moaned loud enough to stop him kissing me.

  “Jesus, baby, you can’t do that unless you want me to lie you down right here,” he murmured, his hand sliding into my hair. He held my gaze firmly to his and I felt his breath on my lips. “I’ll make sure you never regret it,” he promised, shaking his head gently, and I knew in that moment he meant what he’d said. Slipping the ring on my finger, he pulled me toward him, and kissed me again. “I feel like I’ve waited a lifetime to make you my wife, so no matter what else is happening in your near future, Tricia, our wedding is going ahead.”