She stopped short of laying her forehead against his chest.
She would never marry. Never have a man such as Shiloh Barrett. There was no place for her in this world—and her education only made things worse.
She had learned by accident that her father was responsible for paying for her to attend the expensive girls’ academy. He’d wanted her to have the very best of everything, although he might never see her again.
When she’d learned he was footing the bill and she was attending the prestigious school at his desire, she quit fighting her mother about going. Though she never fit in with most of her classmates, there was one she became close to.
Elizabeth Rivera was in the same boat as Kalli—almost. With a white mother and Spanish father—a wealthy aristocrat with holdings in Mexico and Texas—Elizabeth rebelled at everything.
She and Kalli became fast friends immediately. Both understood that, no matter how gracefully they poured tea or politely greeted guests in a receiving line, they would never be accepted into Eastern society.
But…Elizabeth would marry as soon as she returned to Mexico, she’d told Kalli.
“To someone you don’t know?” Kalli asked, incredulous.
Elizabeth had nodded sadly. “My father will have made the match. I only hope he chooses someone kind.”
Elizabeth’s words rang in Kalli’s ears. Her fingers skimmed over Shiloh’s forehead, checking his fever.
This man was kind. Thoughtful…and trustworthy. That seemed an odd description since he had kidnapped her, but she knew it in her soul. He would never hurt her.
And she’d promised to never leave him…
Maybe she’d keep that promise, she thought, as she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Four
Shiloh rose to sleep’s surface with a sharp cry on his lips, barely bitten back, before he came fully awake.
Kalli had replaced the drawing poultice with yet another kind of foul-smelling paste that burned his leg like bloody hell.
As far as he knew, he’d never squealed like a suckling pig during her torturous ministrations…but he certainly felt like doing it! And “as far as he knew” didn’t mean he hadn’t embarrassed himself. He’d come close to it a couple of times when he’d been lucid. Maybe in his sleep, he’d done something utterly humiliating. Something he didn’t even remember.
Kalli’s brows furrowed, marring the smooth, olive skin of her forehead.
“God,” Shiloh gasped, as she made sure the paste was covering the entire area.
The burning pain overcame any lingering embarrassment on Shiloh’s part. Satisfied, Kalli rose and went to the mouth of the cave to wash her hands in the snow that had fallen overnight.
She slept with me last night. Laid next to my body to give me her heat…
Memories of her silken hair close to his skin, the feel of her breath against his flesh, relaxed and rhythmic…Her confidence that he would recover had been so evident it had let him be at ease.
She’d dribbled snow into his mouth. In his fevered dreams, she was quenching the fire that raged in his body with those small, heavenly drips of melted ice crystals.
Looking around the cave, a smile curved his parched lips. Kalli had seen to Racer, who stood near the cave entrance, warm and dry, fed and watered. She’d tended the fire all night—kept it burning low to warm them, but the cave was not overheated, and there was a natural draft where she’d built the fire that kept the smoke down.
This cave was safe, warm, and…peaceful. How had she done that in the midst of her kidnapping by a desperate man who’d been snake bitten?
Shame washed over him. Surely, there had been another way—some other way—he could have made Seamus O’Connor listen to reason and return the deed to him. But…how? Dirk had squandered everything—he’d legally lost their land, forcing Shiloh to take illegal measures to get it back.
When he thought of how Pa had worked the land his own father had given him, passed on from his father before him…the dirt that had been tilled and plowed and planted; the tears that had been shed over ruined crops and sorrows of the heart that were almost too much to be borne—two babies his own mother had lost that lay in the family cemetery beside three his grandmother had buried, and two from the previous generation—those things couldn’t be traded away on the turn of a card.
But Dirk had done just that.
And knowing his older brother’s true colors had been like the kick in the gut of hearing he was dead, all over again. Hatred for Kalli’s father rose up inside him at the same moment as the engulfing sorrow at the loss of his brother. O’Connor had seemed sincerely sorry for having to kill Dirk—but the man was peckish when it came to being accused of cheating. And Shiloh couldn’t blame him.
According to witnesses, O’Connor had done more than most men would to ignore Dirk’s shouted obscenities and accusations. Even if Dirk hadn’t drawn first, the time had come when O’Connor’s pride had to be salvaged. But Dirk had drawn first, and that had sealed his fate.
A long sigh escaped, as Shiloh shifted, unsure if he was more uncomfortable because of the physical pain, or the mental anguish, brought on by memories of his brother. He had to come to grips with the fact that Dirk had been responsible for every damn thing that had transpired. And now, it was going to be up to Shiloh to set things right.
Though, he thought wryly, he’d sure as hell made a holy mess of that, up to now.
Kalli returned shortly and gave him an uncertain smile. She knelt beside him with a small bit of snow in his enameled coffee cup, along with his spoon.
“I brought you some fresh snow. We need to make sure you drink. Water is the bounty of life—healing in many ways…” She looked at the cup self-consciously. “I’m babbling on.” She cleared her throat. “I checked the bite early this morning, and it’s looking somewhat improved.”
Shiloh reached up to touch her hair as she leaned over him. Her eyes met his. Something had changed between them…a subtle shift.
“Thank you for sleeping with me last night.”
She moistened her lips in a nervous gesture he recognized. “You…needed me.”
“Kalli—” He broke off, at a loss for the right words to tell her how right she was. She had seen to his physical comfort and care as best she could, with the meager supplies they had.
But there was more than that. Much more. Her very presence was reassuring, steadying…bewitching, somehow. How had she managed to make this wild cave feel like a place to belong? A place they belonged together? If he spoke these things aloud, she’d think the fever had affected his brain.
She concentrated on feeding him the small amount of snow, and then set the cup aside.
“Is that coffee I smell?” he asked.
She smiled at him. “I found your supplies. I hope that’s all right.”
“We’ll finally get around to that cup we were gonna have last night when all this started. Seems like a week ago.”
“Are you hungry?”
His stomach rumbled at the thought of food, and she giggled as his face colored.
“Guess that’s your answer,” he said gruffly.
“Well, I’m afraid we’ll have to wait ’til later for the best meal. I’ve got beans soaking for this evening. But for now—jerky and hardtack will have to do.”
She rose and moved away to retrieve the sparse breakfast fare. “You must have been planning on re-stocking somewhere nearby,” she said, turning toward him again. “Your lack of supplies would indicate that, at least.”
“Colbert’s Ferry, down south of here.”
“On the Red River…I’ve been there.” She sat down beside him, carrying the food, and handed him a piece of the jerky. “We’ll have to be careful with our food, or we’ll have a couple of hungry days. Traveling will be slower with your weakened condition.”
“My weak—listen, I’m not weak—” But as he struggled to a sitting position, he couldn’t quite make it. Kalli was there to gently ease him back dow
n onto the pallet.
“I didn’t mean to offend you, Shi. I just—well, you can surely see that we won’t be leaving here for at least a day or two.”
Yes. He could ‘surely see’ it. Hell, he couldn’t even sit up! How could he even think of mounting a horse and spending hours—days—in the saddle? He closed his eyes to keep his secrets. He couldn’t allow her to know what a mess he’d made of everything.
“Why did you steal me away, Shiloh Barrett?”
Kalli’s voice was quiet in the early morning stillness of the cave. Compelling. Shiloh had no choice but to open his eyes and meet her steady, dark gaze.
He owed her honesty. She’d saved his life. She hadn’t left him here to die. The least he could do was tell her why.
“My older brother, Dirk, gambled away our land. Our home. Everything. Your father’s land borders ours. He’s always—” He stopped, not sure how to proceed. What did Kalli think of her father? Did she even remember him? Honesty was best.
“He’s always wanted our home place for the water rights we own. He found a way to get it—my older brother’s weakness for cards.” He sighed at the thought of Dirk, and wondered how he must have felt when he realized he’d lost everything to Seamus O’Connor. Everything. Then—he’d lost his life.
Something in his expression must have touched Kalli, for she reached to lay a reassuring hand on his bare arm. “Go on. Tell me everything.”
Shiloh sighed heavily. “Your father won the place fair and square, by all accounts. But my brother—he was so…so mad at himself. He accused Seamus of cheating. Even then, Seamus laughed it off—told him to go sleep off his drunkenness and—well, Dirk drew first, and your father…defended himself. My brother was killed—”
“Oh, Shiloh! I’m so sorry.” She shook her head. “I will speak to my father about this.”
“No, Kalli. Wait. There’s more. My younger brother, Asher, went to see Seamus. Your father gave him a black eye—but…” he shrugged, “he most likely deserved it. Ash is a lot like Dirk was, as far as being hot-tempered. Just not irresponsible.” He smiled at her, alleviating the tension.
“Anyhow, Seamus told Ash to send me to see him when I got home. I left the Rangers and came back home when I got word from Asher about—what happened. Dirk was already dead two weeks and buried.
“I went to see Seamus. He…had a proposition for me. He knew where you were. He’s always known—kept up with you.”
Shiloh could tell his words surprised Kalli—but also, they somehow pleased her, too.
“He asked me to find you and bring you to him. He wants to talk to you before you—you settle down. Marry.”
For some reason, just saying those words brought a different kind of dryness to his throat. Imagining Kalli lying in another man’s arms as she had lain in his own last night caused a sudden flash of anger to bolt through him. Thinking about it only muddied the waters. He had no right to be angry.
“Talk about what?” Kalli asked. She rose and poured the coffee, bringing it back to share with Shiloh. He gratefully accepted it and took a sip, then went on.
“I’m not sure. Could be just a father wanting to get to know his daughter. Maybe to let her know he loves her too—and always did.”
“How…how do you know this? What makes you think that’s his reasoning?”
“I don’t know it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, though. I do know he loves you. And he’s giving up something he’s coveted for years. Part of my payment for bringing you back to him is the deed to our land—free and clear. The money part—I don’t care about. But my mother—that’s always been her home. Pa’s buried there, along with two other of her children… and now, Dirk, too. I want her to be able to keep the homestead. And…that’s why I ever agreed to this in the first place.”
“I see…I understand.” Kalli looked down.
“I’m not a criminal. I’m—or, I was a Texas Ranger. I swore to your father that I’d bring you back to him safely. But…” He looked around the cave, shaking his head. “if you hadn’t been with me, I’d have died, instead.”
“Or, maybe you wouldn’t have camped where you did and gone to the creek for water.” Kalli took the cup and sipped.
He gave her a faint smile. “Guess we’ll never know. But, I am beholden to you, Kalli, for all you’ve done. Not many who were in your situation would have done what you did—taking care of me…saving my life.”
“You’re a good man, Shiloh. I knew that from the beginning.”
“You mean when I put the chloroformed rag across your face and—”
“Yes.” She squeezed his arm gently, then smiled at his surprised look. “Yes. In that moment, I saw you were doing something that caused—regret. It was in your eyes.”
They were both silent for a moment, then Kalli said, “I was never afraid of you.”
He grinned. “I don’t believe there’s much in this world you are afraid of.”
“There is…one thing. And it isn’t a fear—only a regret.”
Shiloh raised a dark brow in question. “What would that be?”
• ♥ •
She shouldn’t have spoken so honestly to him. It was a mistake to do so. But now…she had nothing to lose, did she?
“Being alone for the rest of my life,” she said quietly. “You see…being half white has some advantages—going to the boarding schools I attended provided me with an education…a view of the world I would not have seen, otherwise.
“But…with that view comes the understanding that my world, up to that point, had been so small…I was young when my mother took me and left my father. I grew up in a Cherokee village—until I went away to school—where everyone knew everyone else, and our lives were the same every day, through the generations. Nothing changed. But change was happening in the rest of the world around us.
“Coming back to the village…I realized I could never fit in. I could not come back and live happily in a place where my days consisted of the routines that my grandmother’s grandmother had performed.” She broke off, then shrugged. “I guess, in one way, going away to the school was bad for me.”
• ♥ •
Shiloh shook his head, turning to his side where he’d be able to see her better. He took her hand in his. “Don’t ever think that, Kalli. I understand your feelings of being out of place. When we were growing up, my father insisted on us boys having schooling, too. Beyond what most had. Reading some of the books we had—my father’s collection—really opened my eyes. I couldn’t get enough.”
He gave a short laugh at the memories. “My ma told Pa I was becoming a dreamer. Pa said that was fine, long as I did my dreaming while I hoed the corn and fed the pigs.” He fell silent as the memories filled his eyes. Then he said, “But that wasn’t enough. And I never stopped dreaming, I guess. Still—in trying to eke out a living, the dreams seemed to fade and blur until…they were hard to even remember. Sometimes at night—they remind me they’re still there. They show up in real night-time dreams. And they’re a lot the same as yours. Not wanting to go through life alone. Wishing for someone to share everything with—the good and the bad.”
Kalli nodded. “Just to have someone to lean on—”
“That would sure be a welcome change.” A smile crossed Shiloh’s lips. “I wouldn’t do too much leaning, but I’ve always been a good ‘lean-ee’. Reckon I could be that for a family of my own one of these days.”
His voice trailed off and he shook his head. “I’m not gettin’ any younger, though. And, without a place to hang my hat every night, I’m not sure if I’ll ever have a chance to make that dream a reality. Bein’ a Ranger is no life for a married man. If we lose our place…that’s all I have experience at, or cowboyin’ for some other outfit.”
Chapter Five
Kalli swallowed, realizing she’d been caught up in Shiloh’s thoughts, as if they were her own. As if they were planning a future…together.
“You will have your land back, Shi. I will speak t
o my father. It isn’t right for him to take it—no matter if he felt he won it outright. My father has lived there long enough to realize what his claiming of your land would mean to your family’s livelihood—especially to your mother’s happiness and security.”
“No…It only shows how desperate he was for someone to fetch you back to him, Kalli. Your father is a shrewd businessman, but he isn’t cruel. At least, I’ve never seen that side of him. Can’t say that I trust him completely—”
“But—he killed your brother!”
“I loved my brother, but Dirk—he was a wild one. Always, from my earliest memories, he was the one Pa shook his head over, the one that brought Ma to prayers and tears. Dirk did wrong by betting the deed like he did—then calling Seamus a cheat. Well, any self-respecting man would’ve lost his temper. But when Dirk drew on him—” Shiloh’s voice became hard. “Your pa had no choice.”
Kalli nodded slowly. “I’m just…sorry. I always longed for sisters and brothers. I was so alone, all my life. Then, to think of having a sister—or brother—and losing them…I don’t think I could ever be as strong as you are about it.”
A curtain came down, veiling Shiloh’s thoughts, his face suddenly becoming impassive. “I was plenty mad at your pa. Plenty hurt. I wanted revenge, in the beginning. But when I heard how—” He looked away, unwilling to give her any opportunity to see past the wall he’d built around himself. He fell silent, choosing his words, then went on.
“I wanted to kill Seamus O’Connor,” he admitted softly. “But I’ve known him practically all my life. And…I knew, in my heart, how Dirk was. Once I learned what truly happened, I had to accept it—and try to find a way out of this mess so we could at least keep our place. Pa would be rolling over in his grave if he knew the bind Dirk put us in.”
“What will you do, Shiloh?” Kalli reached to take his hand. “What about those dreams of yours that you want to make a reality?”
The look he gave her stole her breath. His fingers tightened gently around her hand. “I guess I could ask you the same question, Kalliroe. How are you going to make your dreams come true?”
Kidnapping Kalli Page 3
