by Melissa Jane
I cross my legs and sip my drink while watching Jacob complete a perfect dive into the pool before planting both hands on the edge, shoulders, back, and bicep muscles bulging as he hauls himself out, water gushing over his tanned skin. I feel a pang between my legs, and I curse my traitorous vagina. “Who said I wasn’t appreciating it?” I concede.
Vicki smacks my arm playfully. “I knew it! You’re as big a hoe as the rest of us.”
~
Dinner is a casual affair. A barbecue by the pool has the week starting relaxed before formalities kick in. Jacob and I haven’t spoken since the doorway greeting, but I feel the old magnetism that used to exist between us resurfacing with vengeance. I do everything within my power to remain on the opposite side of the group he’s on, but somehow, we always manage to brush past each other, igniting a delicious and fearful tingle—sometimes tremor—across my skin.
As the group breaks away into couples or tired singles, I choose to have the pool to myself. The moon, just like the night on the golf course, is a brilliant ball in the sky casting a silver glow over everything within reach. It’s heady and magical, and I want to soak up its light. Letting my kaftan fall around my feet, I take the steps one at a time until I can wade into the water. Turning onto my back, I stare up at the jewel in the sky, content and finally finding some peace. I’m caught up in a trance when my head gently collides with something. It’s not a hard surface as in it isn’t the pool’s edge, it’s a human body. Splashing my way upright, I turn and see his grinning face staring back at me.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Jacob says in a quiet rumble.
“How long have you been here?”
“Long enough to see you drop your gear in front of me.”
The nerve. “I didn’t intentionally do that. I didn’t know you were here.”
“Intentional or not, I’m certainly not complaining.”
Even under the glow of the moonlight, I feel my cheeks color.
“I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone.” I turn to remove myself from this potentially hazardous situation, but he stops me.
“No, stay,” Jacob says, wrapping a hand around my waist. I’m mid-step when he pulls me in close, and for some reason, I don’t fight it. Now with two hands resting on my hips, my stomach pressing against his, I grow lightheaded, my breath faltering as he stares deeply into my eyes.
We haven’t been this close in over ten years, yet it feels ridiculously normal.
And ridiculously, tantalizingly illicit.
Swallowing hard, I break the silence with a barely-there whisper. “What are you doing?”
“Doing what I should have done the moment you came back into my life.” Cupping my face, Jacob spins me until it’s my back is against the pool’s edge, my body trapped between it and Jacob’s glorious muscles. His lips crash to mine claiming my mouth with an urgency I find both a wicked turn-on and truly, inescapably frightening. I kiss him back with the same ferocity, my hands resting on his hard chest as he holds me close.
An involuntary groan escapes me and while my head is telling me to run—or in this case, swim—away, my body wants so, so, so much more. And when Jacob gently bites my bottom lip, I’m thankful for his thigh that slides neatly between my legs holding me in place. And just when I think I should be the responsible one and pull away, Jacob does it for me. His lips pull from mine, his hands fall away from my face, and he leaves me standing on my own two feet as he slowly distances himself from me. Except this doesn’t strike me as ‘responsible.’ It’s a profound regret. And as he turns his back on me while fleeing to the other side of the pool where he makes his escape, Jacob Lynch has successfully suckered me in, only to once again, tear my heart to shreds.
~
The night is long and painful.
Feeling my lips still tingling from his kiss and knowing he’s a mere few feet across the hall regretting his actions, leaves me both devastated and furious. How can he be so reckless with my heart after hurting me so badly last time? Taunting thoughts run circles in my mind. Has Vicki gotten to him like she has with me? The power of suggestion has a lot to answer for, and she’s queen at dropping both subtle and subtle-as-a-sledgehammer type suggestions. Does Jacob feel like he owes me that kiss after leaving so abruptly ten years ago? Is that his goodbye kiss?
The sun rises in a spectacular fashion casting thick splashes of red and orange across the sky, yet I’m in no mood to appreciate it. The only thing I have to be thankful for is that today will be spent separated from the boys until the rehearsal dinner tonight. Then, after a day of prepping emotionally, I will have to deal with having to hook arms with Jacob as he walks me down the aisle.
And then it’s goodbye.
For good.
Applying some light makeup, I join the others for the first round of beauty treatments out by the pool. A row of massage tables line the pool’s edge, their operators waiting patiently for us to get organized. It could be a while. Bloody Mary’s seem to be running on tap as the girls swap notes from the evening before. Despite how I feel, I smile as Katy recounts how Peter busted into her room last night, wearing a leopard-print G-string—because he’d seen her ‘immensely’ enjoying the stripper so much last week, he thought she would appreciate it—only to be rejected because she was too grossed out. When she said she wasn’t in the mood, Katy kicked Peter out and ended up taking care of herself. Peter, with supersonic hearing heard the vibrator from next door and has since refused to speak with her.
During the story, I notice Vicki’s coy smile as she fights to capture my attention. Her behavior is strange, but what’s even stranger is that she doesn’t seem at all bothered whipping off her bikini top in front of everyone, including that of two male masseuses.
“Jesus, Vicki! At least wait until you’re about to lay on the table. What if Jase saw you parading those balloons around in front of other men?”
She shrugs her shoulders, still with a strange smile of her face. “He’d probably enjoy a little bit of jealousy.”
“I don’t think you’re talking about the right Jase. And why are you smiling like that?”
Vicki swirls the celery around her Bloody Mary. “I saw you last night.”
“I saw you, too.”
“No… I saw you.” She winks, and I freeze.
“You didn’t see anything,” I warn.
Vicki points to the second floor above us. “I can see everything that happens out here. And that includes you and Jacob last night.”
I grab her arm and pull her aside. “Don’t bring this up. It’s not what you think.”
She wiggles her brows. “Oh, I think it is. Don’t be embarrassed, Rosie. That man is a stud. Be loud and proud. Otherwise, I’m serious when I say any one of these hoes here will jump on him soon if you’re not careful.” This time she wiggles her curvy hips. “Including me.”
I frown as Vicki giggles like an excited school girl. “How many of those have you had?”
“I started as soon as the boys left this morning.”
“Which was when?”
“Seven.”
I glance at my phone. “You’ve been drinking for three and a half hours on your own?”
She smiles with the straw in her mouth. “Maybe.”
“Jesus, no wonder you’ve got the girls on display.” I turn to the male masseuses, who are now discreetly standing on the other side of the tables facing in the opposite direction. “Come on, you’re lying next to me where I can keep an eye on you.”
She skips as I walk, and when I have her on the table with her breasts hidden away, I climb up on mine. We face each other, and she takes my hand and smiles.
“I love you, Rosie. I may be slightly tipsy, but I see your pain. I really do. But I know this will all work out for you.”
A tear slips from the corner on my eye because I want so much to believe her. But it’s hard to have faith in something when not even I know the full truth.
“Because I’m serious when I say, y
ou two looked fucking hot last night together.”
~
After an afternoon of ensuring Vicki’s cocktails became virgins, we finally made it to the group rehearsal. It was an effort considering we were already on location. But as the two parties came together on the green at twilight with the minister waiting at the end of the stand-in red carpet, everyone becomes giddy with excitement.
Sandra, the wedding planner, buzzes around us ensuring we’re all in the right places. Vicki and Jase are all over each other, his hands moving over her silk dress as if he can’t get enough of her curves. We watch as Sandra leads them through the formalities before she comes running over to us.
“Positions, please,” she yells while looking at her clipboard. “The order will be Katy and Peter, Amber and Max, and then Rosie and Jacob.”
In an effort to get through the night without incident, I avoid eye contact with Jacob as we stand behind the others. His arm briefly brushes mine sending shivers down my spine, his scent making me heady.
“You two, look alive,” Sandra says pushing in line and hooking my arm through Jacob’s. My stomach flips and dives, and I concentrate on the setting sun to take my mind off my current predicament. When Sandra moves on, Jacob breaks the silence but not the awkwardness.
“Meet me on the rooftop after dinner.”
There’s an edge to his tone that’s no-muck-around. It’s not a suggestion, nor is it an order. It’s simply that time.
~
Just like we had at the garden party, Jacob and I are seated opposite each other at the dinner table. Caterers mill around us, serving our food and topping up drinks at a dangerous speed. I cover my glass with my hand to indicate no more wine on the third round because whatever Jacob has to say, I need to be sober. He too has done the same, the worry lines etched on his face fill me with a sense of foreboding.
Unlike the garden party where I couldn’t stomach a single mouthful, my nerves have suddenly gotten the better of me, and instead of feeling sick, I’m ravenous. I put it down to needing to pre-occupy my mind otherwise I’ll go stir crazy.
A fork dings on a wine glass and Jase stands ready to give a speech. “You motherfuckers are—”
“Jase!” Vicki chides, slapping his thigh.
“Sorry… you mofos mean more to us than you’ll ever know. You’ve all been selected to be a part of our day because you’re special to us in your own unique ways. Pete, you’re the biggest twit I’ve ever met. But I’ve known you since kindergarten, so it would have been a bit awkward had I not chosen you to be a groomsman.”
Pete laughs and flips his friend the bird.
“Max, you’re a laugh a minute even if you do gross my fiancée out with your crude humor, and even if you have tried to sleep with all the bridesmaids at least once.”
Amber angrily slaps his chest because this is probably news to her. He holds his hands out in question like he’s the innocent party. Giggles go around because we all know Amber’s been blinded to his cocky ways.
“And then there’s my best man, Jacob…” Jase pauses, suddenly growing serious. “Buddy, you’re like my fucking angel, bro. What many of you don’t know is that Jacob and I fought alongside each other back when we thought we knew it all. Back when Jacob actually did know all, and I was just a boy along for the ride. But if it weren’t for him, I’d be dead right now.”
Vicki takes his hand for support.
“I’d be six foot under or have my body parts scattered across the Afghan desert. But this guy, he put his own life on the line to ensure I got home safe.” Jase wipes a tear from the corner of his eye, and I allow my own tears to freely fall. I had no idea about any of this, but it doesn’t strike me as unusual. Jacob always made sure everyone else was okay before meeting his own needs. But hearing another person’s testimonial, well, it’s like someone slowing ripping your heart to shreds.
“I soon realized that the marines were not where I was supposed to be, so I got out and started work with my father, which is probably where I should have been all along, and Jacob continues to be everyone else’s angel. That’s why you’re my best man, bro. Because you’re everything I always wanted to be, and you’re so damn fucking humble about it.”
The whole table is in tears, none of us ever hearing that story before. Jacob and Jase hug it out before Jase turns to his future wife and holds her for a long moment. My heart is simultaneously breaking and swelling.
Jase sits while Vicki remains standing, swallowing some wine for courage. She clears her throat and begins her own speech. “Amber, you’ve been my girlfriend since high school. Since the first day of gym when I accidentally palmed the volleyball into the back of your head.”
Amber uses her finger as air quotes. “Accidently.”
“And even to this day you still don’t believe me.” She laughs. “But we’ve been through thick and thin together. Crushed on the same boys,” Vicky says in an accusing tone while slapping Jase’s arm.
“What?” he laughs. “I can’t help if women fancy me.”
“And we’ve also had synchronized periods since the birth of our friendship, so instead of one of us being a bitch, it’s a double whammy. Love you, peewee.”
Amber mouths an ‘I love you’ back.
“Katy, girl, if anyone can pull Peter into line, it’s you. There’s no bullshit, and that’s what I love about you. Plus, I may still be a little scared of you.” Vicki laughs, but I feel like there’s an ounce of truth to her words. “You were there when I ran away from home, consoled me for an hour before putting me in your car and driving me straight back. You’ve always known what’s best, and for that I’m grateful you’re in my life.”
“Rosie,” Vicki says causing my heart to skip a beat. My cheeks flush as all eyes turn on me. “My sweetheart, my love, my soul. You were my first college friend who I met on day one. You were shy, reserved, and unsure. I was loud, in your face, and irritatingly happy. We had nothing in common and you owed me even less, but when you witnessed Professor Dickwad Ambrose blackmailing me into sleeping with him, you fought alongside me to get his dismissal, even when he very near destroyed both our reputations and promised to have us booted from college. You were my backbone, my driving force, the one who didn’t back down from the challenge, and you wore the humiliation that came with his lies. And we won. I won because of you. And that doesn’t even begin to describe how wonderfully talented you are, and giving, and just simply beautiful. You deserve an equally good man to sweep you off your feet.”
I look to my wine glass, feeling the heat in my cheeks intensify under the watchful stares of everyone at the table.
“I love you…” Vicki continues, “… and I couldn’t imagine getting through this next stage of my life without you.”
I meet her beautiful face. “I love you, too. Thank you!”
“Right,” Jase stands to join his wife-to-be.
I look away, accidentally catching Jacob’s gaze in the interim. Pretending to be unperturbed, I listen to the end of formalities.
“Enough of that mushy shit. Time for us to relax for the evening knowing we have a full day of planned activities tomorrow. Drink up and party on.”
The table guests break away preparing to carry on their festivities. By the time I’ve downed the rest of my wine, I see Jacob heading inside. Knowing where he’s going, I follow, my nerves falling apart.
I turn to Vicki who’s been watching.
“Go,” she mouths.
I will have to find a way to make this up to her. It can’t be fun seeing two members of the wedding party bringing their drama to every pre-wedding occasion.
Taking the stairs, I reach the top floor and push open the rooftop door. I’ve yet to explore up here, and I’m blown away to see how beautifully it’s decked out. With glistening fairy lights above, they cast a magical glow over the plush outdoor setting. In the middle sits a fire pit and a fully stocked bar to the side. I find Jacob leaning against the wall that comes up to his waist, his stare c
ast out to the mostly darkened beyond, illuminated by garden lights.
I stop just shy of him, crossing my arms against the cool breeze. “I didn’t know about that story,” I say, my voice shaking involuntarily. “About you saving Jase.”
Jacob gives a short laugh but doesn’t turn around. “He would have done the same for me.”
“You shouldn’t downplay your heroism. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you,” he says, quietly.
“I didn’t even know being a marine was what you wanted to do. You never mentioned it in high school.”
“I, um… I guess I needed somewhere to escape, and the middle of a war zone just happened to be it.” He turns and leans against the wall facing me. “After Jase almost died, I moved out of the firing line and climbed the ladder so to speak. Now I’m aerial logistics. Well, was, I should say.”
“Was?”
“I left.”
“As in you left the whole military?”
“I did, as of two weeks ago.”
“Holy shit!”
He nods. “Yep.”
“Now what?”
“I’ve got money, investments, enough to get me through the rest of my life without having bullets fired at my head.”
The last sentence sends a tremor through my heart. “I had no idea, Jacob.”
“You could never have known any of that. I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving or where I was going.”
“I spoke to your dad. Three days after you left, and you never came home.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“He seemed pretty pissed. But what’s new, I guess. He was always an asshole.”
“What did he say?”
I choose not to mention the vile and derogatory things he’d said about Jacob and his mom. “He was really mad, but he gave me no answers.” I glance to the twinkling lights above, finding courage for my next question. When I return my gaze to him, he’s still watching, lost in the sight of me. “Why did you leave and not say goodbye?”
