by J. L. Weil
Did he blame me for what happened?
Of course he did. How could he not? I’d rehearsed in my head what I would say to Colin if I ever saw him again in the afterlife, but all those conversations went poof, leaving me speechless and dumbfounded. When I did finally find my voice, an apology fell out of my lips. “I’m sorry, Colin. I never meant for you to get hurt.” Let alone die and go to Hell.
A low, bitter laugh vibrated in his chest. “A little late for apologies, don’t you think?”
I steeled my spine, realizing this wasn’t going to be a heartfelt reunion. “What are you doing here?”
Colin snorted, his demon eyes dimming. “That is the funny thing about death. I wandered for years in the Mist until I was shown the gate to the Court of Envy.”
Shown by whom?
The queen didn’t seem concerned with my questions or confusion as she picked a fleck of dust from the bodice of her dress. “Now that the reunion is out of the way, the time has come for you to prove your loyalty to me and my court,” she announced, cutting through the thick tension in the room. “All you have to do is take his soul. He is already dead.”
With a heavy heart, my gaze darted from the queen back to Colin. I couldn’t do what she asked, regardless that he was a demon. “I-I…” My mind was jumbled. I stared at him, my mouth opening and closing. The blade clattered to the table, slipping out of my hand, and the silence in the room that followed was like a slap in the face, leaving me stunned and weakened. I blinked to clear the blurring of my eyes. “I can’t.”
“Kill me,” Colin baited with a grin, flashing rows of sharp teeth. “It’s the least you can offer me after everything I went through because of you.”
I couldn’t believe how hollow his cheeks were. Was he miserable then as a demon? Would death be a mercy to his life here in Gardeness? But the expression on his face and the way he carried himself didn’t give me the impression that Colin was unhappy with his eternal life here. There was nothing left of the boy I loved. He was a stranger—a monster.
Then why couldn’t I make myself stab him in the heart? Why weren’t my muscles moving?
“Don’t tell me you’ve grown weak?” Colin sneered, picking a piece of my hair and twirling it around his finger.
Ashor made a low growl of warning. He didn’t like Colin touching me.
I jerked my head to the side, ripping the piece of hair out from around his finger. Colin was being cruel, but I couldn’t blame him. It was part of his nature now.
I couldn’t get enough air in. Seeing Colin as a demon, everything he’d been robbed of, came crashing down on top of me.
Ashor stood up in one fluid movement with lethal grace. “Is this necessary? Give her a day or two to think it over,” he demanded of the queen, rattled by the emotions he felt through our bond.
She bristled before setting her glass back on the table. “We’re out of time. I’m told your mother is on her way. The Queen of Darkness has grown tired of waiting for you.”
Ashor glower. “Then enough with these silly games. Ally with me or die.”
The lights in the dining hall flickered as a bundle of electric energy crackled in the air. “Are you threatening me, Prince?”
Ashor didn’t blink as he stared down the queen. “I’m stating the facts.”
Verena didn’t like his response. She pushed to her feet, the center of her eyes going milky white. “I’m left with no choice.”
The ground rumbled under my feet, and from the floor, vines broke through, wrapping themselves around my ankles. They continued to climb up my calves, past my knees, to my thighs, and kept winding upward until I was forced into my seat. Tied to the chair, only my hands free, my voice trembled as I rasped his name. “Ashor.”
Colin beside me chuckled.
Not a smart move.
The sound set Ashor off.
Here comes the darkness, my demon purred with excited anticipation while the rest of me was still trying to get a grip on the situation.
Shadows blurred the edges of Ashor’s body as he stood like a dark angel at the foot of the table. “Release her at once before I bring a darkness like you’ve never seen upon this kingdom.”
Verena smiled sweetly. “She will be dead before you get the chance.”
Cool metal pressed against my throat, and my stomach lurched.
Instinct had me clasping my fingers around the wrist that held the weapon to the base of my neck. I hadn’t even seen him move and cursed myself for my carelessness. It all happened so fast, but I knew better than to take my eyes off a demon. Such a fucking rookie mistake. I glanced up into Colin’s face. His red eyes flamed with satisfaction.
A second later, night exploded.
22
Shit was about to get real.
It only took a few blinks for my eyes to adjust to the sudden blackness that blanketed the room. I sought out the Prince of Darkness while keeping a tight clasp on Colin’s wrist. I was afraid to let go. Afraid he might actually slit my throat and let me bleed out all over the queen’s posh table.
Ashor’s face was a mask of cold rage. “Release her.” The command was pure wrath, causing my heart to thunder in my chest.
I’d let the prince handle the queen, seeing as I had my own issues, and turned my attention back to Colin.
He was strong. So much stronger than he’d been as human. I drew on my own strength, digging my nails into his flesh as I tried to shove his hand away from me. He balked against the pressure I applied to his arm. One slip and the dagger would be in my throat.
Dammit. If my fucking legs weren’t tied down to this stupid chair, I might have been able to get the upper hand and lay him out on the ground. My thighs strained against the branches pinning me to the chair, to no avail, and I cursed under my breath.
All I had to do was pick up the dagger from the table where I had dropped it. If I could just hold him off just long enough to grab the blade and put it into his heart. And yet, my fingers refused to move.
Sweat beaded above Colin’s lip, his muscles trembling to maintain his hold against me. I was strong, but I didn’t know how long I could fight him off in my current bind.
“Perhaps you didn’t hear me,” Ashor said, horribly calm. “Release her.”
A heartbeat passed, and Colin groaned, followed by a series of bones snapping.
Crack. Crack. Crack.
My stomach pitched at the sound. Colin’s arm went limp as the light in his eyes flickered. The dagger at my throat clattered to the floor, and my dead ex-boyfriend shrilled.
Ashor had fractured multiple bones in Colin’s arm. “Touch her again and I will kill you,” the prince warned Colin as he crumbled to the ground, cradling his awkward arm. Ashor towered over Colin, his face beyond furious.
Verena’s temptress laugh echoed over the room, giving me goose bumps. “Finally,” she said, grinning at my mate. “I thought this was going to be a dull dinner, the way you’ve been so boring since you arrived.”
Something inside me broke. I couldn’t take the games, the illusions, the trickery. I was just fucking done.
Flames of darkness struck out over my fingers as I slammed my hands down on top of the vines, allowing my magic to cloak over the plants that restrained me, suffocating them. I swore the plants made little whimpering shrieks of pain as they shriveled up, retreating back into the ground where they had come from.
Power shrouded every pore in my body as I surged to my feet, swiping the dagger off the table. I faced the queen then, dark fire curling and licking along my arms, and I knew those same embers of darkness reflected through my gold eyes. I imagined I looked a sight. Through our bond, I felt Ashor’s approval.
Verena was glowing with fascination—literally glowing. “Well, this just got interesting. What other secrets are you hiding from me, huntress?”
Fucking great. I hadn’t intended to show the Queen of Envy my power. Not yet, but it was too late. The cat was out of the bag. I tipped my head to the side, letting the darkness feed
through my veins. “If I told you, they wouldn’t be secret.”
“Your mate’s disreputable habits are rubbing off on you.” She clucked her tongue at Ashor. “You don’t think I know how this story ends?”
“I’ve never been much of a reader,” I retorted, sensing Ashor at my back.
Colin was still nursing his broken bones, glaring openly at both my mate and me, but he made no further attempt to hurt me.
“Perhaps a night to think about my proposal will put things into perspective,” the queen suggested, succumbing to Ashor’s request, which surprised me. What changed her mind? It couldn’t be my darkness—could it? Why would she care about my little speck of power? “You have until tomorrow night, huntress, to complete your test,” she continued, laying out the new details to her stupid test. “If you fail… well, let’s just say it's in both the prince’s and your interest that you don’t.”
So, my test of loyalty wasn’t over, only postponed. I couldn’t decide if that was better or worse.
The smirk on her face was reassuring. “Please, stay and enjoy the rest of your dinner. I have other pressing matters to attend to, including preparations for the arrival of your mother. I’m sure she will be thrilled to see you. My guards will escort you back to your room.” In strolled six green-skinned demons.
Ashor growled as they approached.
“Bring him,” Verena ordered with a wave at Colin. “We’re not finished with him yet.” She swept out of the room just as one of the guards slashed through, hauling Colin to his feet. Colin protested with grunts of pain, but was ignored and hauled out. The entire removal only took a few seconds. Hardly long enough for me to stop it.
Did I want to help Colin?
I caught Ashor’s gaze and silently asked, “Are we really doing this? Allowing her to take Colin?” I was prepared to fight, stand my ground, but I also understood it would accomplish nothing. Only create bigger problems.
He gave me a slight shake of his head in reply. We wouldn’t be fighting our way out. Not yet.
But the prince still had a plan.
God help me.
With reluctant obedience, I allowed the guards to usher me out of the dining room and into the hall. As the scents drifted from savory to something sweet and floral, I remembered I hadn’t eaten a bite of food, which I was now regretting. I could use the strength for what was yet to come, but my appetite was long gone. In fact, I was sick to my stomach, my insides knotted and twisted.
And this night was far from over.
Ashor waited until we were alone in our room before he peppered me with the questions that had been on his mind since Verena’s little surprise. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about? Who is this demon? And why couldn’t you kill him?”
I wasn’t looking forward to telling my mate about the guy I had loved before him. I certainly didn’t want to hear about the demons he’d been intimate with. Just the fleeting thought filled me with jealousy. As I took a seat on the couch, curling my legs underneath me, Ashor watched me with puzzlement. No doubt he was trying to make sense of my scattered emotions. “When I knew Colin, he wasn’t a demon. He was a human boy.”
Ashor came to sit beside me, the cushion sinking with his added weight. “How did he die?”
“It was the night Angel killed Alastair, during the fight. I-I couldn’t save him,” I fumbled, taken back to the time and place and all those feelings of hopelessness. How ironic. They were a mirror of what I was feeling now, faced with having to kill him. What was I going to do?
A phantom breeze blew through the room, sending the hanging fabrics fluttering. “Angel defeated the King of Inferno, taking his crown. A lot was lost that night,” he said, his own thoughts turning to how Alastair’s death had affected the underworld.
“You have no idea,” I muttered, tears stinging at my eyes, but I refused to cry. I thought I had dealt with Colin’s death by seeking retribution against the demons responsible, but seeing him as a demon dredged up some of those old feelings of guilt and remorse. I’d blamed myself for so many years. Truthfully, I still blamed myself. “It was my fault he was killed. He never should have been there, and I live with his death on my hands every single day.”
“You loved him,” Ashor stated, a roughness catching in his voice.
I nodded, twining my fingers together. “I did. He was the first human boy who didn’t treat me like a pariah, who wasn’t ashamed or afraid of what I am.”
“Why would Verena change him?” he mused, trying to piece together the madness of a demon queen.
Shaking my head, I rubbed at my eyes, clearing the tears. “I don’t know. To fuck with me, obviously.”
He reached for me, pulling me into his arms. “I’m sorry. What she asked of you… it was immoral. No one should have to make the choices we’re forced to make in this world.”
“I never thought for a second that Colin would go to Hell. He was good.” At least I believed he was good. What had he done to earn him a place in the underworld? Was it because of me?
Ashor’s hand settled at my waist, keeping me close to him as he offered me his strength and support. “I know what you are thinking, and you can’t blame yourself. Sometimes, no matter how pure a soul is, it can still end up here. Demons are known to pluck a soul right out of divine judgement. It only takes one tiny blemish on a person to attract a demon, especially a mortal who hangs out with demons.”
He was attempting to ease my guilt, offer me comfort, but it wasn’t working. “So it is my fault.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. Knowing what you are didn’t make him any more susceptible than the person who bagged your groceries. Every mortal in some shape or form has interacted with a demon, had ill thoughts, or broken the law. It’s what makes them human.”
I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. “What am I supposed to do?”
“It’s not for me to decide. This is something you have to live with. The choice needs to be yours, but know this, nothing you can do will save him. He is not the boy you used to care about. Not anymore. He was gone the second Verena turned him.”
I sighed, lifting my face. “And I assume there is no way for me to restore his human soul?”
An unspoken apology reflected in his expression. “It’s not impossible, but rarely ever successful,” he added, stomping out that flicker of hope. “And if the restoration of his soul does work, it doesn’t take away the memories of the things they’ve done as a demon. It often damages a soul to the point beyond repair. He would still reside in the Court of Envy. That would never change.”
Those were all things I didn’t want to hear, but I had to face the truth. Colin was gone. He had been from the moment he took his last breath. It was times like this I was conscious of Ashor’s ability to feel what I felt. “I know what I have to do,” I murmured, my shoulders drooping.
His violet eyes were lined with gold. “You don’t need to make your decision right now. Sleep on it. We will deal with Verena’s test together.”
Sleep wasn’t possible, not with my mind whirling and my heart weighing me down.
“Come here,” he said, looping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me to his chest.
I snuggled against him without delay, resting my head near his neck. “What do you think your test was?” I asked, tipping my head so I could see his jawline. “She never did say, only that you had already passed.”
His jaw locked, shadows moving into his features. Underneath me, his body went rigid before he forcibly relaxed. “It was my blood oath to save Cayden’s soul.”
“You mean, she arranged for him to be…?” I couldn’t even bring myself to finish the sentence. Verena had Cayden beaten to a bloody pulp, leaving him on the verge of true death, all to test Ashor’s loyalty. She also had the nerve to blame it on his mother.
That bitch.
When I first came to Gardeness, I had disregarded Verena, assuming Kali was the bigger threat. She and her court appeared mild in compa
rison to the Court of Darkness, and I thought, how much harm could a sex demon cause? But I was beginning to believe she was equally as villainous as Kali.
“I had my doubts at first, but now I am sure of it. She put me into a situation where I would have no choice but to swear her a blood oath. She is keeping Cayden from me, and I mean to find out why.”
My blood iced over. “She’s insane.” I was doubting that allying with Verena was wise.
“Queens have a penchant for cruelty,” he said grimly. “Instilling fear keeps many from challenging them.”
I loosed a breath. “You are one of the most powerful demons in the world, yet you hide the depth of your powers. Why not fight back?” He didn’t fear anyone, as far as I could tell, and proved it by betraying his own mother, but he also did nothing other than protect me. Perhaps that was the only thing the Prince of Darkness truly feared. Losing me.
“Because I was waiting,” he finally answered.
Curiosity got the best of me, and the question tumbled from my lips. “For what?”
“You,” Ashor whispered, his usually cold eyes filling up with so much warmth.
My pulse quickened, followed by a sharp intake of breath. God, when he said such bold statements to me, I felt the shield around my heart weaken.
He pressed his lips to mine for a brief kiss, not of passion, but of comfort. “You have given me something to fight for.”
We both had something to fight for. Each other. But would it be enough for us to survive this war?
I fell asleep that night wrapped in Ashor’s arms, pondering our fate. The uncertainty of the future, of what I had to do, plagued me into sleep. I had to kill my first love to save the demon who was my mate. No one should have to make a choice this fucked-up.
It was the sudden cold suppressing the constant humidity of Gardeness that warned something was coming, but still drugged by exhaustion, I wavered in and out of consciousness. Hooves thundered in my dreams, growing louder and louder, trembling over the ground. I shivered against Ashor, searching for warmth, but only found that my breath was like ice in my lungs.
