She smiles. “Your secret’s safe with me. So how did you get over that?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say I did. I still like to take care of people. McKenzie always, but especially after our parents died, my SEAL team, the American public in general…you.”
She squeezes my hand. “Thank you for rescuing me.”
“There wasn’t another option. I love”—I catch myself just short of saying the words I’ve never dreamed of saying to any woman. What the hell?—“that you’ve trusted me to keep you safe. In every way.”
Her death grip on my hand has eased, and I unbuckle our seatbelts and tug her close to me, pulling her head to rest on my shoulder. “Get some sleep. We’ll head out to the islands to dive once we arrive in Malaysia.”
Chapter Thirteen
Charlotte
Although I really try to stay awake—how often do you get the chance to fly on a private jet, even if it terrifies you?—last night exhausted me, both physically and emotionally, and I sleep for most of the ten-hour flight to Malaysia. Liam wakes me up to eat—French toast with Vermont maple syrup, whipped butter, sliced strawberries, and strips of crisp bacon—and then puts on a movie, but snuggled up next to his warm, solid body with a full stomach, I drift back off to sleep.
I wake up to the jolt of the plane touching down. Before I have time to be scared, we’ve come to a stop, the unfamiliar landscape of Malaysia visible outside the small windows. “We’re here already?”
Liam smiles. “Yep. See? Piece of cake.”
After he thanks the pilots and makes arrangements for the trip back, the customs officer shows up—a middle-aged Malaysian man wearing a pressed suit who asks us if we’ve brought in anything we need to claim. When Liam says no, he nods and waves us off the plane to the car that’s waiting for us on the tarmac.
“I see why you booked a private jet,” I say as we make the hour-and-a-half drive to a town called Semporna. “Customs was a joke.”
He nods. “That’s the power of money. At fifty thousand one way, they tend to not ask too many questions.”
Fifty thousand dollars to fly one way? That’s more than I make in a year. I know he has a ton of it from the cartel, and he wants to get rid of it, but that kind of money could change your life. “Are you going to keep any of it?”
“No. Although after I looked at my bank accounts, I can see why I took the job. I’m in trouble financially, up to my eyeballs in debt trying to pay off my parents’ bills and Kenzie’s school loans.” He shakes his head. “But I’ll spend it all if that’s what it takes to clear my name and get my life back.”
I nod, unsure if I would do the same. “Sorry I slept. I know we had bucket list things to check off.”
“You needed the sleep. I wish we didn’t have to cram so much into such a small timeframe, but I haven’t heard from Anthony, and we only have a couple of days here to find what we need and get back in time for my meeting with El Gato. We have to dive today. See if I remember anything.”
“I know.” I pause, and then ask the question that neither of us have wanted to think about. “What if we don’t find what we’re looking for here?”
Liam looks out the window. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I just don’t know.”
…
From Semporna Island, a speed boat takes us to Mabul Island, where we briefly check into our resort—individual Asian-looking bungalows with pointed roofs over the bluest water I have ever seen—before putting on our swimsuits and catching the boat that will take us to Sipadan Island, where we’ll spend the afternoon diving. I hope against hope that something will jar Liam’s memory, or maybe we’ll even find where the guns might be hidden.
Due to the thirteen-hour time difference, we’ve already lost almost a full day. While it was only seven o’clock in the evening Mexico time when we landed, it’s eight o’clock in the morning in Malaysia, and Liam has already arranged for us to dive.
“This is beautiful!” I say, completely enchanted as we motor over the glass-calm water that our dive master, a sixty-five-year-old man named Gary, says is the Celebes Sea.
“Your first time diving here?” Gary asks me.
“My first time diving anywhere!” I’m like a little kid on Christmas morning, completely unable to contain my excitement. McKenzie had been nervous even in the deep swimming pool where we all got certified, but all I’d been able to imagine was being in the ocean, seeing fish and turtles and wonderful things I’d never seen before. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought it would really happen. But I’m excited to actually be on my way to a more adventurous life despite the circumstances that have forced me here.
He hoots with laughter, shaking his head. “Damn. Nothing like starting at the top. Most divers wait a lifetime to dive here. It’ll ruin you for anywhere else.” He turns to Liam curiously. “Your first time too? You look familiar.”
Liam shakes his head. “No. I’ve been here before. With a diving buddy of mine.”
The guy looks at him more closely and then recognition registers on his face. “You’re the Navy SEAL! You were here with that attorney from the States. I thought I recognized you.”
Liam shoots me a look that perfectly mirrors what I’m thinking. It’s about time we got a break.
“Wait a minute.” His eyes narrow as he looks at Liam and my heart stops, terrified at I don’t know what. “Your sister was here not long back. Said you’d been killed in the line of duty.”
“I was shot during a mission in the Middle East. Everyone thought I was dead, but I was in a hospital unable to reach out to my loved ones until recently.” He wraps an arm around me and pulls me to him. “The first thing I did after telling my sister I was alive was plan this trip with my wife. It’s the honeymoon we never had. I realized life is short. It can be gone in the blink of an eye, and none of us know when it’s our last day. You’ve got to make the most of it.”
Gary lets out his breath in a whoosh and claps Liam on the shoulder. “You are one lucky son of a bitch. I’m glad.”
“Not half as glad as I am,” Liam says. “Do you happen to remember where we dove? I’d love to show Charlotte the exact dive we did before.”
“Sure thing, man! I remember it. It was incredible, wasn’t it? One of the less accessible parts of the reef. And we did Turtle Cavern. She’s up for it?” He looks at me skeptically. I nod vigorously. There’s no way I’m blowing this now.
“Okay,” he says reluctantly.
Fifteen minutes later, a tiny speck of jungle rimmed by white sand comes into view. “That’s Sipadan!” says Gary. “Time to suit up.”
Liam and Gary help me put on my mask, tank, and fins, and before I know it, we’re sitting on the edge of the boat. Liam reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Okay?”
“More than okay!” I grin.
He laughs, and then one by one, we drop backward into the emerald water.
The next four hours are the best of my life, barring the time I’ve spent with Liam. We fall into a silver cyclone of what I later learn are jack fish—hundreds of fish frantically swimming around us so that’s all we can see. Eventually, they clear and we can see the wall of reef that plummets dramatically a good quarter of a mile below us, and beyond that, Sipadan Island.
Everything is so vibrant, it seems surreal—from the red and blue coral fans that wave languidly to the brightly colored fish, so many different types and species that I lose count. We see manta rays, octopus, several types of sharks, sea horses, and parrotfish, some with these hilarious-looking buck teeth. And turtles. There are so many turtles, many of which swim right alongside us, that I lose count.
Eventually, we stop to eat on the island. It’s very small and there are no resorts or homes on it, but there’s a large wooden house built on it where divers can relax, and we’re joined by several other diving groups. Liam talks to some of them, but I’m content to just be in the moment, absorbing the amazing view of the pristine white beach and crystal-clear water with the man I love.
> Shit. I love him. The realization is sobering. I thought I fell in love with him in Playa del Carmen, but now that I’ve really gotten to know him, I realize we had just scratched the surface then compared to my feelings for him now. Despite the fact that my life is completely upside down and out of control, I’ve never felt more secure or happy, and it’s because of him.
But it was a mistake then, and it’s a mistake now. The fact that I love him is irrelevant. We can’t be together. If anything, it’s even more apparent now. In just a few days, he’s demanded I give myself to him wholly and completely, and I’ve handed him my control on a silver platter. Me, the girl who watched my mom give control of her life to a man who destroyed her happiness and swore to never make the same mistake. It’s been fine for this week in Mexico. This isn’t real life. This is fantasy. For both of us. I just need to remember that. Even if I’m enjoying the hell out of it.
“Want to take a walk around the island?” Liam interrupts my reverie. He’s standing in front of me, holding out his hand. I put my hand in his and let him pull me up.
Hand in hand, we stroll along the powdery sand that fringes the island. I know Liam is looking for possible places he might have stashed the guns. They have to be here. There are too many things pointing to Malaysia.
“Recognize anything?” I ask, but I already know the answer. The island is small—the tour guide says it only takes twenty-five minutes to cover the entire thing. So far, we haven’t seen anywhere guns could be hidden.
Liam rakes his fingers through his hair in frustration. “No. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen. That some lightning bolt was going to come down from the sky and illuminate where the guns are hidden? I know better. I’m going to have to somehow figure this out on my own.”
I wish I could help him. Neither of us have said it, but this was our Hail Mary. We put all our eggs in a basket that was full of holes. We have two and a half days to find the guns—if they’re even here—or a clue that leads to them. If they’re not, we’ll be out of time to look anywhere else. In fact, we’ll both be out of time period.
I stop in the sand. “What if we don’t go back to Mexico. What if we just keep running. Change our names. We can—”
He cuts me off with a finger to my lips. “Shh,” he says. “I don’t think I’d do that if it was just me, but I’m definitely not going to do it now that you’re involved. You deserve more than a life on the run, never knowing when it’s going to catch up with you. You have a business and friends. You deserve to marry a guy one day who falls in love with you and wants to give you a perfectly ordered life with a picket fence.”
Somehow, his words sting, but they shouldn’t. He’s right.
We do one more dive after a late lunch, this one to the more remote place Gary had referred to, a place called Turtle Cavern, but again, we come up with nothing. Back in the boat, we strip off our scuba gear. I can’t hide my disappointment. “That looked so promising. A cave filled with turtle bones would be the perfect place to hide guns,” I say quietly so the dive masters can’t hear.
Liam sets his flippers next to him and leans his head back, closing his eyes. “Getting guns wet will damage them.” There’s a strain in his voice I’ve never heard before. In the next few minutes, I literally watch him pull himself together, his muscles flexing as he prepares himself mentally before opening his eyes to look at me. It’s devil-may-care, always-in-control Liam looking back at me, that ever-present grin on his face.
“I’m proud of you, Charlotte. You jumped right in without hesitation, without a detailed dive plan or any idea what was going to happen or a contingency plan in case we got separated.”
I’m shocked that I never even considered any of that! “I guess you’ve been successful at teaching me to let go, after all,” I admit with a smile. “But honestly, it’s you. I trusted you. So I didn’t have to be in control.”
He cups my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine tenderly, lingering a little longer than necessary. “I can’t imagine a greater compliment,” he says. “I am humbled by you. Even when all the evidence has pointed to the fact that I’m the worst kind of criminal, you’ve trusted me to keep you safe. I’m not going to let you down.” I’ve never heard Liam so serious. I think about a few minutes ago, how he pushed his own worry aside to put on his game face for me.
“I know,” I say, reaching up to caress his cheek. “But you don’t always have to do it alone.”
Before he can respond, Gary comes back to store the diving gear and settles next to us to talk about the dive. We’re almost back to Mabul, where we’ll stay the night, when I realize what I need to do. If I can discover some hidden parts of myself by giving up control, maybe so can Liam. I don’t think he’s going to like it, but it’s time he realized he doesn’t have to save the world alone.
“Hey, Gary,” I say casually. “In the accident that almost killed him, my hu-husband lost a little of his memory. He left something here that was important to him. Important to both of us.”
“Charlotte, what the fu—?” Liam is giving me that look that would terrify any sane person, but I know I have nothing to fear from him.
“Liam, trust me this time,” I say softly. Turning back to Gary, I explain. “We were hoping retracing his steps on the dive might jolt his memory, but it hasn’t. Do you have any idea where he might have left something for safekeeping? Anything he asked you that was unusual or out of the ordinary?”
Gary strokes his beard as he thinks for a minute. Then he shakes head. “I can’t think of anything. Except—” He says something to the other guy on the boat, then turns back to Liam. “I was wearing a medallion that day, a charm inscribed with an old native symbol for luck. You wanted one, but you wanted something specific on it. You asked me if there was anyone local who could make it.”
Liam is sitting forward, his eyes focused on Gary. “Is there?”
“Yes. I got mine at a tattoo shop in Semporna. I’ll give you the name and directions when we get back to the island. He will have gone home for the evening, but you can talk to him tomorrow.” He looks from me to Liam, and adds, “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“So do I,” Liam says.
…
High on the excitement of scuba diving, I hit the shower as soon as we get back to the resort while Liam takes advantage of the resort’s cell coverage—which is pretty unreliable on the island—to research the shop Gary told us about. When I come out of the steaming bathroom, wrapped in a towel, Liam is on the phone. It doesn’t take long to figure out he’s talking to Anthony. I sit down across from him, trying to decipher the entire conversation from his clipped responses, which consist of “yes,” “I see,” and “got it.” It’s impossible.
He hits the red end call button a few minutes later and shoots me a triumphant smile. “Anthony called,” he says unnecessarily. “The message didn’t come through until I had service.”
“Well?” Judging by the look on his face, he has good news.
“I didn’t illegally sell weapons to the cartel. Or more accurately, I sold them to the cartel all right, but I was working undercover for the CIA.”
I jump up and throw my arms around him, a grin splitting my face. “I knew it! Well, not the CIA part. Just that you wouldn’t have illegally sold guns.”
There’s a look I don’t quite understand on his face. He shakes his head and traces my cheekbone gently with his forefinger. “Thank you for believing in me and trusting me, even when you didn’t know for sure. You have no idea how much that means to me.” We stare into each other’s eyes for one long minute, then he jumps up. Pacing the small living area of the villa, he fills me in on the conversation.
“According to Anthony, I texted him and asked him to meet me in Malaysia to dive in January. That would have been two months before the explosion in Pakistan. While we were diving, I told him that a month before, the CIA agent had contacted me and I had agreed to a highly classified sting operation to ta
ke down La Frontera. No one knew about it but me, the CIA operative who I met with, and his boss. The deal was I would broker an arms deal with El Gato, the head of the cartel, smuggle some guns out of Iraq, where I was scheduled to ship out to shortly after the meeting, and then when I delivered the guns, my job was to frame El Gato and send him to jail, or if necessary, assassinate him. My CIA contact promised the U.S. would turn a blind eye to it all.
“Of course I wouldn’t blindly trust the CIA on a mission no one knew about but me and a couple of CIA operatives, especially since it could land me in jail, so I recorded our conversation, told Anthony to meet me here to dive, and gave him the tape as a safeguard. I also had a necklace made that matched his tattoo, so if something happened and I got killed, it would get to McKenzie and she would be able to find Anthony and learn the truth.”
“‘So she’d know the kind of man you are,’” I say slowly, repeating what Steve Morris had told McKenzie Liam said when he gave him the necklace to give to her. “You didn’t want Kenzie to know you were a hero. You wanted her to know you weren’t a traitor.”
“Exactly. Turns out Anthony talked to Walker and Gemma a few days ago at The Dominion. He’s a regular there. He goes by the nickname Valor.”
“That’s why the Dominion was on the bucket list!”
“Yep. He says he told me about his involvement with The Dominion when were in Malaysia. I clearly wanted Kenzie to talk to Anthony. I don’t know if my bucket list is a map to the guns or not, but it was definitely a map to Anthony, which might be the same thing.
“According to Anthony, my CIA contact—a guy named Martin Gray—set up the drop point for the guns, which is here in Malaysia. We were right. Anthony said that after he and I dove, I was meeting Gray at a warehouse near Mabul and leaving the guns there until I got back from Pakistan. He thinks the exact location is on the tape I gave him. He’s going to get the tape from the safety deposit box he rented and then he’ll call me back, although it will probably be tomorrow morning our time before I hear from him.”
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