Chapter 12
The look on Jaden's face was heartbreaking. "I have no way to leave this place. Ever. To protect what I loved, I damned myself completely. But Seth wasn't so stupid. He can be freed. It won't be easy, but it can be done. "
That sent the first bit of happiness through Lydia that she'd had in a while. Seth didn't deserve to be condemned to this place.
If I can free him . . .
"How?"
"You'd have to teleport him out, and then hide and guard him until his powers recharged to their full level. Until they do, Noir could summon him back if he located him. "
"How long would it take?"
Jaden took a minute to think about it. "A month . . . maybe a little longer or even a little less. It would depend on how low his powers were when he left here. "
But he could be freed.
That gave her hope.
Jaden leaned down to speak low into her ear. "And to answer the question you're too afraid to ask, yes. I think he can be saved. But it won't be easy. He has no reason to believe in or trust anyone. We've all betrayed him. Bitterly and repeatedly. We traded his innocence for our own selfishness and hung him out to dry over and over again. "
Tears choked her as she thought back to what little she'd seen. How many more and worse stories were there? She was also too afraid to ask that question.
Jaden had been right. It was a miracle Seth was still sane. How he could show any form of compassion to her or any semblance of kindness to someone else was a testament to his strength.
She had to get him out of here.
"Just don't lie to him," Jaden warned. "He would never forgive you for it. "
"Then I should tell him I'm a jackal and-"
"He will eat you for lunch. " Jaden cut her words off angrily. "Listen to me, Lydia. He has centered all of his hatred on the family who lied to him and sold him. He hasn't forgiven me, but he never loved me or thought that much of me, so he doesn't hate me for what I've done. In his mind, a jackal is the symbol of treachery and ultimate betrayal. He will never trust you if he knows you're one of them. Since he doesn't know what you are, he has no reason to ask you about it. So, for the sake of the gods and yourself, don't tell him. "
If only it were that easy. But her morals were different from Jaden's. "Omission is a lie in and of itself. "
Jaden growled in frustration. "That's your decision. However. . . " This time, he projected Seth's past to her without touching her.
She saw Seth on his knees in the desert sand, clinging to his adoptive father's hand as he begged for mercy. "Please, It," the Egyptian word for father. "Please don't sell me. I'll do anything you ask. Have I not always been a dutiful son to you in every way?" He held his hands up to show the cuts and calluses on his palms and fingers from where he'd helped his family with chores. "Never once have I asked for anything. Never have I gone to bed and not told you how grateful I am to have all of you as my family. I don't understand why you would sell me. "
His father sneered at him as he cruelly wrung his arm out of Seth's grasp. "You're pathetic, boy. No wonder your mother left you to die and your father couldn't be bothered to claim you. " He kicked Seth back, into the arms of the demons who were there to take him.
Seth's tears flowed down his cheeks. "How can you do this to me? You told me that you loved me. That I was your son. "
His father sneered at him. "You were never really one of us. " Then his father turned into a jackal and ran off, leaving him to the demons.
The one on the right grabbed Seth by the hair and leered at him. "We're going to have a lot of fun with you, boy. Don't worry. As pretty as you are, you'll have all the love you could ever want. "
"Stop," she said, holding her hand to Jaden. "Please. I don't want to see any more. "
"Don't you know, Seth feels the same way about it. But he had no choice except to endure it, and then to be damned to an eternity of remembering every demeaning, brutal detail. The slightest word or phrase. Sometimes it's nothing more than a fleeting smell or sound, and all of that floods right back to him with a clarity that leaves him ravaged and aching all over again as if it just happened to him. Just like your memory of the night your mother died. No amount of time fully eases that pain, does it?"
No, it didn't. As he'd said, one sound or the darkness and she remembered every detail of that night. No matter how hard she tried to forget, it never went away.
It was always there, stalking her and hitting her when she least wanted it to. There was no escape.
Not ever.
Only times of happiness between those memories. At first those times had been so brief as to not matter. But Solin had made her laugh and learn to live so that those moments would be longer and longer, until they finally outnumbered the bad memories.
For that, she owed him everything.
Seth had no one to make him smile. No one to comfort him and tell him that he would learn to live again.
Not that he'd ever had a real life to begin with. He would have to start from scratch to even have a single decent memory to build from.
My poor demon . . .
All of a sudden, someone was at Jaden's door.
He stepped away from her as it opened. Prepared to fight, she held her breath, half afraid it was Noir or one of his other minions.
It was Seth.
She started to go to him, but there was an air of such rage and hostility around him that she was afraid he might hurt her if she did.
His armor and lips coated in blood, he had several new wounds and bruises on his face. But as always, he didn't seem to notice them. A tic beat a fierce rhythm in his jaw as his nostrils flared. He appeared to be one step away from going on a homicidal rampage.
The last thing she wanted to do was be the one who pushed him into it.
His icy glare went past her and straight to Jaden. "I'm being sent to guard the Nether Wall. Can you watch her until I return?"
Jaden gaped at his disclosure. At first she thought it was because he was asking Jaden to keep her longer.
It wasn't.
"Why are you being sent?" Jaden asked.
He gave Jaden a droll stare. "Since when does Noir answer to me?"
Jaden shook his head. "Who's going to stand at your back?"
Seth scowled at the question as if it baffled him. As if he thought Jaden was stupid for even asking it. "The same as always. No one. " Finally, he looked at her and his features softened ever so slightly, as if he took comfort from seeing her there.
Then he returned his glare to Jaden. "Will you watch over her until I return?"
Jaden nodded. "I will. "
He inclined his head in gratitude before he withdrew and locked the door again.
She turned back to Jaden as she tried to understand what was going on. "What's the Nether Wall?"
"It's the boundary between our realm and Thorn's. "
"And why is that bad?"
Jaden snorted. "It's not if you don't have a soul. But if you do . . . Thorn's vultures flay you for it. Mentally and physically. Guarding that wall, especially alone, is one of the cruelest things to do to someone. It's like hanging out a single piece of steak at a rabid dog festival. "
While she had no doubt that he wasn't exaggerating, she had a hard time believing it would be hard for Seth after everything else he'd been through. "Crueler than having your mouth bolted shut?"
Jaden's freaky gaze burned her with its sincere heat. "Yes. Physical pain eventually stops hurting. It's the scars on the soul that never heal and never back off-those ride you with spurs. May the gods help him. "
She knew the truth of that, which made her determined to help Seth any way she could. "Can you get me there?"
"Ah, hell no. Are you out of your mind?"
Maybe. Probably. It definitely wouldn't be the first time she had a moronic thought, and unfortunately, it wouldn't be the last. It was that kind of lu
nacy that had her here right now.
But it didn't change her conviction. "I can help him fight. Watch his back. You said it yourself, he doesn't need to be out there alone. "
Jaden shook his head in disbelief. "And you will get him punished beyond belief if anyone sees you. Don't you understand, Lydia? By having you here without Noir's knowledge, he has all but declared war on Noir. If Noir finds out what Seth has done. . . "
"Why did he capture me, then?" Why put himself into more conflict with the god who hated him so?
"That is his job. He's supposed to capture anyone who comes here without an invitation. Then they are to be taken to Noir, who decides what to do with them. "
She could just imagine what that demon did to anyone dumb enough to venture here.
By keeping her safe and hidden, Seth risked his own neck.
"Why would he take such a chance?"
"I have no idea. Honestly, I wouldn't have done it for anything. If I didn't owe him so much, I'd be handing you over right now. " By the tone of his voice, she had no doubt he meant every word of it.
Thank the gods, he wasn't the one who'd found her, trying to help Solin escape.
Now, Lydia tried to understand what had motivated Seth to such stupidity. Yet for her life, she couldn't imagine why he'd risked his flesh for her-a nobody, an enemy-after all Noir had done to him.
It made no sense.
* * *
Seth took his post at the gate and widened his stance into his fiercest Guardian's pose. He dug the tip of his sword into the ground and rested his hands on the hilt. With any luck, the night predators would think twice about taking him on.
Though if the past was any indicator, they wouldn't give a shit. They would attack Noir himself. Anything for a drop of blood.
Here, demon, demons. Fresh meat. Come get some.
And all too soon, they would.
From here, he could see the tiniest bit of outline from Thorn's manor. It looked so harmless from a distance. But his one trip to it had tutored him well on Thorn's brutality. The ancient demon lord wasn't a bit kinder than Noir.
Bloody effing bastard. It hadn't been much of a fight, but Seth had done his best. Too young, too new to his powers, and drained from Noir's cruelty, he'd run there, hoping to find a haven.
What he'd found was a one-way trip back to Noir's lap . . . and his fist. Apparently the two demon lords had made a pact that they wouldn't keep runaways.
Look on the bright side . . . At least Azura wouldn't summon him while he was here, any more than Noir would. Given that lovely benefit, unlike Jaden, he didn't mind this duty as much as some of the others he'd been forced to do.
Yeah, it was emotionally grueling, but then so was life.
Even now he could hear Noir in his head. "You pathetic wretch. You're worthless. Stupid beyond stupid. Go stand at the Wall for a couple of nights. Maybe then you'll learn how to fight. "
All in all, he thought he'd done pretty well, given the fact they were outnumbered twenty to one, and he was still drained by Noir and Azura's last feeding. Not to mention their latest round of Beat the Holy Shit Out of Him.
But what did he know?
And come tomorrow, he was sure Noir would beat him again for not having more information about the key he was supposed to find while protecting the Wall and doing everything else they wanted.
Yeah . . .
They're not what you want to think about anyway.
No, he wanted to think about glowing topaz eyes that danced with humor and sparkled with fiery spirit. Of soft, long black hair. Of moist lips that begged him for a kiss.
Closing his eyes, he conjured an image of Lydia in his bed. Yeah, that was what he wanted to focus on. Much better than all the other crap he had to deal with. He could almost smell the warm scent of her skin. It actually banished the chill from the cold winds that blew against his armor, freezing him to the marrow of his bones.
"Seth?"
He opened his eyes as he heard the sound of her voice. Glancing around, he saw no trace of her.
It's not her. She didn't know his name. Must be one of the predators screwing with him.
"Can you hear me?"
He realized it was inside his head. "Lydia?"
"Yes. Jaden explained to me what you would be facing. I wanted to come and help, but I understand why I can't. I don't want to get you into trouble. "
Those words touched him so deeply that it left him temporarily immobile. She doesn't care for you. How could she?
It was most likely true.
It's definitely true, you imbecile. Noir's right. You are the dumbest idiot ever born.
Only a rank moron would think for even a second that his captive cared for him.
Even so, he wanted to hear her voice. Feel her next to him while he waited for attack. "How are you able to talk to me?"
"Don't be mad, okay? Jaden restored enough of my powers that I could sit with you while you stand post. "
He should be furious over that. Yet he wasn't. He felt strangely grateful. "Are you really that bored?"
"No. I just needed to make sure you were all right. I don't want to see you hurt. "
Those words and the faked sincerity in her voice struck him like a blow. No one had ever said a kinder thing to him. Not in all of his life.
But he knew better. "You don't care about me. Be honest. We're enemies, you and I. "
"I'm not your enemy, Seth. I don't like being your captive, and I have to say that I'm still a little peeved over that fact. But I understand why you did what you did. And it means a lot to me that you're protecting me when you have no reason to. "
A bad feeling went through him over those words. Why the hell did I put them together?
"How much has Jaden told you about me?"
"Probably enough that you'll beat him for it. But I'm glad he did. "
Seth let out a disgusted breath. He couldn't stand for anyone to talk about him. Ever. It never boded well for his health. Physical or mental.
Not wanting to think about it, he turned the topic. "You should probably rest. "
"Not until you do. "
Her comforting voice took him back in time. Back to when he'd lived with the jackals and had had a friend. When he'd been able to trust the lies other people told him.
What he wouldn't give to be that naive again.
Don't trust her. She's using you to get free. If she weakens you, she knows you'll do something stupid for her.
All people were liars. He knew that with every part of himself.
And yet . . .
Seth wanted to believe in something again. He wanted to believe in someone.
Most of all, he needed to believe in Lydia.
"Tell me about your family, Lydia. What are they like?"
"They were wonderful. "
"Were?"
"My mother died protecting me when I was a child. "
He should have been so lucky. But he felt bad for her when it was obvious she'd loved her mother. "What happened?"
"Zeus had us attacked. Everyone was slaughtered. But my mother used her powers to send me away before they found me. She tried to send me to my father, but they killed her before she could get me all the way there. "
"And your father?" Please tell me he was better than mine.
"He's wonderful . . . Most times. He can be very stern and demanding. But he does it out of love for me. "
Good. One less being he wanted to mutilate.
Then he started to ask her about Solin, but stopped himself. There were some things he didn't need to know and that was one of them. It was actually at the top of his list. He didn't want to hear the love in her voice when she talked about another man when that man possessed the one thing Seth would sell his soul for.
It was cruel.
But she continued talking to him in that soothing voice of hers. "The hardest part was that I cou
ldn't really see my father growing up. "
"Why?"
"He has too many enemies who would kill me if they found me. So I've had to move around a lot. Never making too many friends for fear of them betraying me, whether by accident or intentionally. "
"Like me. "
"In some ways. It's why I understand you, I think. "
Interesting thought, that. He didn't understand himself most days, so how could she?
"Tell me more about your mother. What's your fondest memory of her?"
"She would read to me every night and then sing me a silly song to go to sleep to. After she'd leave, many times I'd get up and try to sneak out to play with my toys. "
"Did she spank you for it?"
"No. My parents never hit me. She'd tickle me back to bed and threaten to take away my dessert for a week. But she never did that either. "
Seth felt the beginnings of a smile, but the moment he did, he felt an evil presence coming at him.
Out of nowhere, a reaper attacked. They were taloned and winged demons who would rip apart any creature they found. Lucky him, that he'd been here for their pleasure.
Seth cursed as it sank its claws into his shoulder. That's what I get for not paying attention. He should never have been talking to her.
"Seth?" The panic in her voice meant a lot to him, but he didn't have time to chat right now.
"I'm under attack, Lydia. I have to go. "
"Seth!"
He ignored her as more reapers came for him and he fought them back as best he could.
But they weren't the only ones rushing him . . .
Oh yeah, this was going to really suck.
* * *
Lydia looked over to where Jaden sat on the stone floor, leaning against the wall by his fire. "He's under attack. Are you sure we can't help him?"
Jaden sent her a mocking stare. "Sure. Let's go get him pinned to Noir's wall for a week, shall we? I'm quite certain it would thrill him to no end, and make us all feel better that you care so much. "
"You don't have to be so sarcastic. "
"Can't help it. I sucked sarcasm straight from my mother's breast. "
She ignored his even more sardonic reply. "Is there nothing we can do for him?"
"We're doing it. "
Lydia hated what they were doing. It wasn't in her to sit and not fight.
Getting up, she started pacing-something she did until she was too tired to keep going. Only then did she sleep. But her dreams, probably restored by Jaden, too, tortured her with the things she'd learned about Seth.
Most of all, they tortured her with thoughts of him standing guard alone and fighting against the monsters Jaden had described.
Please be okay. Please.
She woke up well past dawn, or at least what passed for dawn in this dismal realm. "Seth?" she tried again to contact him.
He didn't answer.
She looked to where Jaden slept by the fire. I have to find him. He was in trouble, she could feel it.
The only problem was she didn't know where he was or how to get there.
Suddenly, she heard a commotion out in the hallway. She went to the door and pressed her ear against it so that she might hear what was going on.
Rumbling voices thundered, but she couldn't make out their individual words.
Not until one spoke with a clarity that made her sick.
"Huzzah! The Guardian is dead!"
The Guardian Page 13
