By the time he sat in his first-class seat for the short flight home, exhaustion overwhelmed him with a world-weary tiredness that had nothing to do with a lack of sleep.
13
Nicky
Nicky watched Becks walk away with Wylder, his shoulders hunched, looking like he wanted to let whatever weight he was carrying finally crush him.
“It’s okay, Nicky.” Avery draped his arm around his little brother. “I’m behind you a thousand percent in this, but I think you might have just broken his little Beckett heart.”
“No, I didn’t.” Nicky shrugged away from his brother, turning back to see Kenny and Nari staring at him. “I’m just me. A nobody. He’s Beckett Anderson, and whatever he’s got going on in his head right now, I can’t be with him after the way this started, when none of it is real. I will not be anyone’s second choice. Ever again.” Nicky walked away, heading in the opposite direction of Becks and his sister. He just needed to get away.
“Nicky,” Kenny called, but Nicky walked faster. He didn’t know where he was going, but he wasn’t staying here. He needed a change. Needed to get out of Twin Rivers. And Nashville no longer held the bright future it once had.
Nicky surged through the cool water, relishing the silence beneath the pool’s surface. The pictures from his night out with Kenny had hit the gossip sites in the last few days, and he was suddenly in the limelight again. They showed his picture with Kenny, laughing and smiling, right before they’d realized the media was on them. They just looked like two friends having a good time. Anyone could see that. But the stupid media had shown their picture next to one of Becks looking sad and alone just hours after his performance at the Nashville rally. The article called Nicky a heartless fame seeker and social climber hell-bent on ruining Kenny’s reputation and breaking Becks’ heart all in one fell swoop. Becks came out smelling like a rose while Nicky was labeled a Black Widow. Since then, he had fallen into a cycle of working and hanging out by the pool at home. At the rate he was going, by the end of the summer, he’d have a full bank account, a toned swimmer’s body, and one hell of a tan with little else to show for his last free days before college.
Emerging from the depths of the pool, Nicky made his way up the steps, cool water streaming down his back. “What are you doing here?” Nicky frowned, wiping the water from his eyes.
“I don’t really know.” Kenny toed the tiled edge of the pool with his shoe. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I’m fine.” Nicky crossed the deck to the lounge chair to retrieve his towel. He didn’t like the way Kenny was looking at him—like a man half-starved.
“The way the media is treating you isn’t fair.”
“No, it’s not, but I’ve learned these things tend to blow over if you just give it time. I suppose your dad is giving you hell about the pictures?”
Kenny nodded with a sigh, taking a step toward Nicky. “It’s so stupid. We weren’t even doing anything. It’s like I can’t even be friends with a guy these days.”
“Well, to be fair, your other guy friends probably aren’t media magnets.”
“I don’t really have other guy friends. Or friends really.”
“You have Penny.”
“Yeah, Penny’s the perfect girlfriend for the politician’s son. Dad loves her. She’s heading to Yale in the fall to major in political science. I’ll see her in Washington…if I decide to spend more time there next year.”
“I hear a ‘but’ coming,” Nicky said.
“But, I don’t want it—the life my parents want for me.”
“Then why force yourself to be something you don’t even want?” Nicky took a step toward him, concerned for what lay ahead for Kenny. He feared he’d never have a chance to be his own man. Kenny deserved a chance to be the man he wanted to be.
“I don’t know.” Kenny shrugged. “I thought if we broke up I could spend the summer getting over you, and then you’d leave in the fall, and I could finally put you behind me, and everything would just be so much easier.”
“And how’s that plan working out for you?”
“It’s not.” Kenny’s shoulders sagged. “I miss you. I miss our friendship too, but I miss us more. More than I thought I would.” Kenny’s hungry lips found his, taking Nicky by surprise. The familiar warmth stirred up so many emotions inside Nicky as Kenny’s hands ran up his damp chest—but one thing he didn’t feel surprised him even more. Desire. Whatever he’d once felt for Kenny was gone.
Nicky stepped away, breaking their kiss. “No.” Nicky turned away from him, running a nervous hand through his wet hair. “You can’t keep doing this to me, Kenny. It’s not good for either of us. We are not good for each other. I see that now, and it’s only a matter of time before you see it too. I will always be your friend. No matter what, you can count on that. But I’ve moved on.”
“With Beckett Anderson.” Kenny said his name like a curse.
“It’s not going to work out for me and Becks. I really don’t know where his head is, but…the heart wants what the heart wants. I care about him. Always have.” It felt good to admit it out loud. Nicky couldn’t ignore the declaration Becks had made at the river.
“I don’t want us to be fake anymore. I want you.” And God help him, he wanted Becks too, but the media frenzy that swarmed around him might make that impossible.
Nicky took Kenny’s hands in his. “I mean it when I say I’m your friend. I want you to be happy, Kenny. I want to see you live your life on your own terms. If that ends up being with a woman or a man, it doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy with yourself.”
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess.” Kenny’s eyes shone with tears. “I just don’t think I know how to be just friends with you. At least not yet.”
“We will figure it out. I promise, but right now, I need you to go.”
“Nicky, would you mind running across the street to Andersons’s Hardware to pick up a few things for me?” Mrs. Callahan asked. “You can take their lunch order over too and chat with Wylder for a bit.”
“Sure thing, Mrs. C.” Nicky took her list and some cash for the supplies and darted out the side door of the restaurant, eager for a chance to catch up with Wylder. He hadn’t seen her much since she got back from Nashville. These days she spent most of her free time getting to know her mother.
Nicky didn’t see them until it was too late. The swarm of paparazzi cut him off from his escape back inside the Main. The first few times this happened, he’d panicked. But now he was just pissed off.
“Hey, Nicky, what do you have to say for yourself?”
“Nicky, how could you break Beckett’s heart like that?”
“What does Kenny have that Beckett doesn’t?”
“Beckett’s fans deserve an explanation.”
“Get off my back,” Nicky shot over his shoulder, trying to make it through the media frenzy to the other side of the street, but they blocked him.
“Give us a comment, Nicky.” Microphones shoved into his face. “What’s your relationship status?”
“My status is none of your business. That’s the only comment you’re getting from me today, so you might as well go home.” Nicky shoved and elbowed his way through the cameras, but he wasn’t getting anywhere. A horn blasted behind them. A very familiar horn from Wylder’s car. It sounded like a train.
“She will run over you. I’d move if I were you.” Nicky made a final shove as Wylder gunned the engine, rolling up on the sidewalk to prove her point.
“Knock it off, you vultures.” Julian’s voice carried through the crowd buzzing around for a piece of Nicky’s soul. “You need to take this shitstorm across the street and let Nicky get back to work. Or we’ll call the cops again and let them escort you out of town.” Julian shoved and kicked his way to Nicky’s side.
“Thanks, man.” Nicky ran a hand through his sweaty hair, looking for a way out, but they were out for blood today, and it looked like he was trapped with Julian now.
“Move. Get out of my way, you bloodsucking turds.” Nicky watched as Wylder elbowed her way through the media crowd. “Don’t be a dick, and I won’t stomp on your foot.” She shoved through the last of the paparazzi with their cameras flashing.
“Let’s get you out of here.” She wrapped an arm around Nicky’s waist. “Help me get him in the car.”
With a shit-eating grin plastered to his face, Julian wrapped his arms around Nicky’s waist and turned to the cameras. “We’ve got your title for your next headline right here. Check us out. We’re a thrupple.” He and Wylder made a show of kissing Nicky’s cheeks as the camera flashes exploded.
The three of them made it through the throng of paparazzi to Wylder’s car idling on the curb.
Wylder threw the passenger door open for Nicky. “Get in.” She shoved his head down.
Nicky scrambled into the car as Julian climbed into the back seat. Wylder took off before he could get the door closed behind him. “What the hell was that about? And what did you just do, Julian? They won’t treat that like a joke, man, you made it worse. ”
“You haven’t seen it?” Julian asked.
“Seen what? How could they possibly have anything worth showing? I’ve been a hermit since the last photo.”
“Check the sites.” Wylder tossed him her phone and drove like a maniac out of town.
Nicky turned to watch the line of media vans following them. “I am not that interesting. Why don’t they just give up?” He dialed the number for the Main and put it on speaker so he could search the gossip sites for whatever they were in a tizzy about now.
“Main Street Diner,” an agitated Sophia Callahan answered.
“It’s Nicky, I’m so sorry—”
“Oh, thank God. Are you okay, sweetheart? I saw them gang up on you and sent Julian out to help.”
“Wylder rescued us.”
“I was just heading in for my shift when I saw those jerks on him. Sorry, Mrs. C, I kidnapped your waiter.” Wylder gripped the wheel tighter.
“It’s okay, kids, just go somewhere they can’t find you, and we’ll handle the rest of Nicky’s shift.”
“I’m so sorry this keeps happening.”
“Don’t you worry about it, Nicky. We are all behind you.”
“Thanks, Mrs. C.” Nicky ended the call just as his eyes landed on the pictures. “How the hell did they get this?” Nicky felt violated that such a private moment was broadcast across the internet. That somehow his last moments with Kenny were so newsworthy someone hid in the trees behind his house and recorded the whole thing in a series of photos. Kenny’s desperate kiss. The way his hands slid up Nicky’s bare chest. The way Nicky held his hands, an intense look on his face. It all looked so clandestine and steamy when it was nothing of the sort.
Poor Kenny was back in the limelight with his sexuality once again called into question. It was disgusting and a huge invasion of his privacy.
“Oh no,” Nicky whispered, tilting his head back against the headrest. “Has he seen this?”
“Kenny?” Wylder cast him a wary look.
“No. Has Becks seen this?” He felt sick. Like he’d been caught cheating when he and Becks weren’t even together.
“I don’t know. Probably. The whole world has seen it by now.”
14
Becks
If there was one place that could make Becks forget all about the turmoil in his life, it was the studio. His band mates provided a wall of support between him and the outside world as they each did their parts to make the best music they could.
Becks shot Nari a grin as he leaned toward the microphone. Here, he felt like himself. Here, he belonged.
Nari, Harrison, and Quinn sat on the other side of the soundproof glass, and it made him feel like a caged animal at the zoo. But he didn’t care. They’d each take their turns in the booth, laying down their parts of the song. This one only had vocals from Becks, but their instrumental parts drove the emotion.
He could hear it now. A heavy drumline taking the listener on a ride. Nari’s piano would provide a sweet melody in contrast to the harshness of the drums, complemented by Quinn’s bass. As soon as he’d started writing the song, Becks knew it would be a hit. He could feel it.
In the week since returning from Twin Rivers, he’d shut himself up in his house finishing the songs for their second album. Today was their second consecutive day in the studio, and he thought he’d be tired after a grueling day one where they didn’t leave until one in the morning. But he didn’t. Instead, adrenaline pumped through his veins.
Music, he could do. Music never let him down. It never abandoned him or left him standing like an idiot after confessing his feelings.
It loved him back.
He sang the last few words, lowering his voice into just above a whisper. Nari told him the tone was sexy, and he needed to play to that side of himself. SexyBecksy. That was what the fans wanted. It was what would save him once he revealed his supposed breakup with Nicky.
He’d put it off, telling himself he wasn’t ready for everything to be over, but they were leaving to go on tour in two weeks at the beginning of August. He was running out of time.
The tour with Etta Morelli came at a perfect time. He’d done what the label asked of him, pretending to date Nicky. They wouldn’t pull him from the tour now. It was exactly the distraction he needed.
The sound producer’s voice came over the intercom. “I think that’s the one, Beckett.”
Becks breathed a relieved sigh. “Good. That’s good.” They could move on. There were two more songs they had to get right before leaving town.
“Come on into the booth.”
He nodded and pushed the door open. His band lounged on leather couches, laughing about some nonsense. Sofie waited along the wall to hand him a towel.
“Thanks, Sof.” He took it and wiped his sweaty face.
“You sounded fantastic.” She smiled, and for a moment, he wished he could have fallen for his assistant. It would have been so easy. She’d never have left a freaking hole in his chest.
Pasting on his patented smirk, he bumped his shoulder into hers. “I was pretty good, wasn’t I.” When it came to music, he’d never had a problem with confidence.
“All right, all right.” Nari stood, eyeing him behind her thick glasses. “Stop with the compliments, Sof. His head is already big enough.”
“Ah, Narisaurus.” He stepped in front of her and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. “You know you love me.”
“Ew.” She swatted at his chest. “You’re all sweaty.” Managing to push him away, she laughed. “I don’t know anyone who sweats as much as you in the recording booth.”
“It was hot in there.” Plus, he’d spent the last two hours trying to get the song right while his band mates relaxed out in the much cooler room. “Besides, I don’t sweat. I glisten.”
She snorted. “That was so bad.”
“You’re just jealous you don’t glisten. Or is it that you want a hashtag like SexyBecksy?” Teasing Nari always made him smile. She was one of his favorite people. He held his biceps in front of him, flexing the muscles. “I could be FlexyBecksy.” He forced his pecs to twitch. “Or PecksyBecksy. NecksyBecksy? Too bad I’m not from Texas or it could be TexyBecksy.”
“You’re ridiculous.” A grin took over her face.
“That doesn’t rhyme with Becks.”
Harrison and Quinn looked at him like they agreed with Nari’s assessment of his ridiculousness, but Becks didn’t mind. He liked them, thought of them as a sort of family, but he’d never grown as close to the two men as he was with Nari or Avery.
Thinking of Avery brought Nicky to his mind, and his smile dropped. Would it ever get easier to disassociate the two?
The sound producer turned toward Becks. “I think we’re done with you for the day. Nari, you’re up next.”
As Nari stepped behind the glass and slid onto the piano bench, Becks left. Sofie followed him out, hol
ding her phone in front of her. “The label wants to release a single from the new album before we leave on tour.”
Becks grunted. “Which one?”
“‘Love Me.’”
“Absolutely not.”
“Becks.” She sighed as if talking to a child. “You don’t get to decide these things. It’s a wonderful song, and they obviously like it enough to have it be the single.”
“Sof.” He stopped halfway down the long hallway and turned to her. “Do you know why they want to use that one? I’ve sent them better songs.”
She shook her head.
“Because the entire world will think I wrote it for Nicky.”
Her mouth rounded. “Oh. You didn’t? The lyrics are beautiful. I guess I assumed he’d inspired it too.”
“I wrote it before the kiss at the music festival, before any of this happened. It’s not about him. It’s not about a romantic love at all.” He’d never expected to reveal the truth of that song to anyone. He wrote it when he was a teenager and didn’t know what he was thinking when he submitted it for the album. The lyrics spoke of someone just wanting to be seen, to be loved, by the person who should love them more than anyone. He saw how it could be misconstrued and hadn’t ever corrected anyone.
Yet, here was Sofie. A girl who cared for him in a way he wished she didn’t. But she was also a good friend, had been since he first came to Nashville and signed with the label. Maybe he hadn’t seen it because she was his assistant or because she’d been a friend with benefits, but she’d done more for him than he could repay.
“You can tell me, Becks.” Her soft voice sank into him.
He rubbed the back of his neck, unable to meet her eyes. “I wrote it about my mom.” There’d been a time he wanted nothing more than for his mom to show up on their doorstep and tell them she’d made a terrible mistake abandoning her children.
Dating Him: The Series Page 15
