“Because you’re nosy?” Peyton nudged her playfully.
“Listen, Diego. I am so very much not Killer’s girlfriend. I feel like that topic has been covered. He doesn’t date. Ever. He’s the hottest guy in this school, but he doesn’t let people in very easily, and he’s so focused on hockey he barely sees anything else. Please, just talk to him and don’t let this thing come between you. So, you fell asleep together. I promise it’s not as awful as you think.”
“Can we talk about my app now?” Diego fumbled with his empty coffee mug. He’d had two double espressos already and he felt like climbing out of his own skin just to escape his life for five minutes.
“Yes, you are about to forget all about Killian James and those killer abs.” Peyton turned her computer around to face him.
“Let’s take Killian and his magnificent abs… and dimples off the table.” Diego didn’t need any reminders of last night, and the girls were not helping matters.
“I made a demo for you, and I want your honest first impression.” Peyton loaded the video onto her screen.
All thoughts of Killian flew from his mind as Diego pulled the screen closer to study the details of the game board. A vine motif traced the edges of the board, and a winding pathway through the forest disappeared off the screen. As the video played, more and more of the pathway was revealed as animated leaves, rocks, and birds settled onto the board. The video ended with a montage of the tree growing from a seedling into a tall, healthy young tree reaching for the sky.
“It’s just the early stages. It still needs lots of work on the back end, but the visual stuff should help you see the big picture. Your algorithms will really make this thing dance.”
Diego was speechless. The level of work Peyton had put into the demo completely blew his mind.
“You don’t like it.” Peyton’s shoulders slumped.
Wylder hit her on the back of the head. “Give him a minute. He’s just stunned by your brilliance.”
Diego nodded. “That’s what she said.” He pointed at Wylder.
“Aww, baby’s first she said.” Wylder looked like a proud momma. “It’s wrong, but good try.” She patted his hand.
“Isn’t that how it goes?” He looked at her in confusion.
“I think you meant to say ’what she said; to agree with me.”
“Right. That’s what she said.”
“We’re gonna be here for a while.” Peyton’s laughter bubbled up, and she clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Peyton, it’s beautiful.” For one horrible moment, Diego thought he might cry. “I could never have done this on my own.”
“That’s why you’ll never see such a sophisticated app as a single endeavor. It takes a village.”
“I can’t wait to dive into all this new code.” For the first time, Diego really felt like he might actually get his app into beta soon, and it was all thanks to Peyton.
“I have files for you with all the individual components. You’ll just need to write your code for each piece and then design your algos to put them together the way you want. I’m heading back to school after the holiday, but I’m only a text away if you hit a wall or need to talk ideas. I’m always up late.”
“I can’t thank you enough. Please, let me pay you for your time.” She’d done so much more than any mentor would have, he had to give her something.
“No way. This is a mentor-mentee relationship. If you want to credit me as an analyst or something that’s fine but your money is no good here.”
“You might be the nicest person I’ve ever met.” Diego’s smile stretched wide across his face. He might have left his friendship with Killian in shambles, but Peyton had managed to take his mind off it, at least for a while.
“She’s kind of disgusting-sweet, but we tolerate it.” Wylder elbowed Peyton in the ribs. “Now about this Killian thing. We just need to get you two together in a group setting to break the ice, and then we’ll get past all the awkward.”
“Sure, sure,” Diego murmured. But at the moment, he didn’t want to be around anyone. As much as he hated the cold, Diego set out across the campus for his favorite spot. He needed to be alone for a while.
15
Killian
It was too quiet.
Killian sat in front of Diego’s TV with the Fallout map up on the screen. They never did get to complete the “save Killian’s life” quest.
And he wasn’t sure if they would now. Because Diego freaked. Maybe Wylder had been wrong about him this entire time, but Killian didn’t think so. Diego was gay; he just didn’t want to cross that line with his roommate.
And all Killian wanted to do was erase the line completely.
He didn’t know why. Only weeks ago, he’d thought of his roommate only as the weird kid invading his space. He hadn’t known how adorable his lack of social skills could be. Or that he was smarter than any of the other people at this school. Diego wanted to save the planet. He was just…good, light.
And Killian had so little light in his world, at least since moving away from home.
The empty room around him missed the clacking of Diego’s fingers on his keyboard. It yearned for the never-ending questions or the babbling Diego couldn’t seem to stop.
With a sigh, he threw the controller on the bed and reached up to switch off the TV. He’d never spent much time playing video games before, and now, he knew why. He didn’t actually find the quests fun and shooting mutants got old. Diego was the one who kept it entertaining with his intensity and concentration and his smug smiles when he bested Killian at something.
That thought made Killian laugh. He had to give Diego credit. He’d tried skating and horseback riding, two things he was uniquely unsuited for. Each time, he let Killian hold onto him to keep him from falling.
And last night? What was Killian protecting him from then?
Unable to stand the silence anymore, Killian stood and slipped into his shoes. A run would clear his mind. As he reached for a sweatshirt, the door burst open.
“Diego.” He turned, expecting to find his roommate but only seeing a stern-faced Wylder instead. “Uh, hey, Wylds.”
She pushed past him into the room, and it was only then he saw Kenny behind her.
Kenny shrugged. “She forced me to come, man.”
He turned to find Wylder making herself at home. She opened the fridge and retrieved a can of seltzer water, throwing it to Kenny before getting one for herself.
“That’s Diego’s, but sure, Wylder, take whatever you want.” Killian sat on the corner of his desk and crossed his arms. “Guess I’m not going for a run?”
Wylder whirled around to face him, her eyes hard. “No, you’re not. What you’re going to do is tell me what you did to that boy?” She slapped him upside the head.
“Ow, Wylds. Stop. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She gripped his chin and forced it up so he met her eyes. “Why did Diego think we’re dating even though we’ve told him a million times we aren’t?”
“How am I supposed to know why Diego thinks anything?” He pushed her hand away. “I don’t want to even try to figure out how his mind works.” His eyes found Kenny’s. “A little help here, man.”
Kenny took a sip of his drink. “I don’t even know why I’m here, but keep going. Wylder getting involved in your love life means she stays out of mine.”
Wylder scowled. “How did it turn out when I got involved in your love life, Kenny? You and Asher just needed the push me, Nicky, and Becks could give. Not to mention Asher’s mom.”
Killian’s lips tipped up. “Yeah, dude, when the president of the United States is involved in playing matchmaker, you know you need the help.”
“Who was it that slept with his roommate last night?” Kenny smirked.
“How… You know what? I don’t want to know how you know that. We didn’t sleep together. We just…”
“Slept together?” Wylder’s expression softened. “You did a numbe
r on Diego’s head, Killer.”
Killian pushed a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know what I did!”
Kenny chuckled. “You’re hopeless, man.”
Wylder put a hand on each of Killian’s shoulders. “Okay, listen up you thick-brained, oblivious… hockey player.”
“I take offense at you using that term as an insult.” Kenny didn’t look offended as he smirked.
Wylder flipped him off before returning her attention to Killian. “Sometimes I wish you guys were as smart as me so I didn’t have to spell things out.” She sighed and spoke more slowly. “Diego. Thinks. You’re. Straight. He also seems to think he betrayed me with your cuddle sesh, but I disavowed him of that.” She released him. “Disavow mean—”
“I know what it means.” Killian couldn’t quite grasp what she was trying to say. “So, Diego, he thinks—”
“That he took advantage of you? Bingo. That you’re going to hate him? Bingo, bingo.”
Why on Earth would he think he took advantage of him? Because it was Diego. “But I’m the one who—” He stopped himself.
Wylder grinned. “Who what? Diego wouldn’t give me and Peyton any juicy details. Come on, spill. What exactly happened?”
“He didn’t take advantage of me.” He saw the sequence of events so clearly. As the hockey game wound down on TV, he’d rested his head in Diego’s lap. He woke up sometime in the night to find them asleep together, but he’d been too comfortable to move. As he stirred hours later, warm skin, Diego’s stomach’ rested under his fingertips.
They’d slept in their clothes, but there’d been an intimacy nonetheless. “I need to find him.” He needed to make sure they were okay. Even if Diego wanted to forget all about it, they needed to talk. “I can’t lose him, Wylder.” Diego had become his best friend. He made being away from home bearable.
Wylder surprised him by closing the distance between them, and she wrapped Killian in a hug. He didn’t move from the desk as his entire body stiffened. “What are you doing?”
She rested her chin on his shoulder. “This is called a hug, Killian. It’s what friends do sometimes.”
“Some friends.” Kenny shook his head. “I’m not hugging him.”
“That’s why I’m a better friend than you,” Wylder shot back. “Kills, just go with it.”
“I’m not really sure what to do here.”
“Hug me back. That’s the socially acceptable response.”
He laughed. “That’s not what I meant. I…I’m not a hugger.” Still, he wrapped his arms around her back.
“Yes, you are. See? You’re hugging me. Now, Killian, this doesn’t mean I’m going to fall madly in love with you, so don’t get your hopes up.”
He rested his cheek against her hair and grinned. It was nice having friends who cared about him. “Wylder Anderson, I’d be lucky if you fell in love with me.”
She swatted his arm and stepped out of the hug. “Don’t be charming with me. It’s creepy. I’m like your sister.”
“You are not like my sister.” He always had to take care of his sisters and protect them. The girl before him didn’t need protection from anyone.
She met his gaze again. “You won’t lose your friendship with Diego. You two just need to talk.”
“If I can find him.” Killian stood. “He hasn’t been back to the room since running out this morning.”
A knowing smirk spread across her face. “What would you give me if I told you I know where he is?”
“My undying gratitude.”
She tapped a finger against her chin. “Fair.” Pulling her phone from her pocket, she tapped the screen and held it out. A picture of a black flower sat on the screen.
“What am I looking at?”
“Diego sent this to me and Peyton twenty minutes ago. He wants to see if we can incorporate these flowers into the game.”
“I don’t understand how that helps me.”
“There’s only one place on campus these grow. The seasonal garden in the old square.”
Killian looked to Kenny. “Did you know we had a seasonal garden? And what’s the old square?”
Kenny only shrugged.
“You two are hopeless.” Wylder put her phone away. “Don’t you even go to the library?”
Again, the boys exchanged helpless looks.
“Of course, you don’t.” She shook her head. “Behind the library there are some abandoned buildings. It’s called the old square. When Defiance Academy first opened decades and decades ago, those were the academic buildings. There’s a walled garden at the center of the square. No one takes care of the buildings, but someone obviously tends the garden. Rumor says it’s the Defiance Academy secret society.”
“We don’t have a secret society, Wylder.” Kenny gave her an indulgent smile.
Killian grabbed his coat and slid it on. “So, Diego is there?”
Wylder nodded. “Just take the path at the back of the library.”
Killian nodded and walked out the door, leaving them in his room. He didn’t want to give Diego a chance to leave before he got there.
Should this have felt so creepy? Killian couldn’t remember ever going to the school library. He preferred to study in his dorm room. So, he’d never seen the path that led through a small patch of woods. Snow and sticks crunched beneath his feet. If it was dark out, he’d have thought he was in some kind of slasher movie where someone lured him into the woods.
The path turned to broken brick as the trees thinned, and he took in the old school buildings. He shouldn’t have been surprised. Defiance Academy had been around for a long time. Weeds sprouted up between the bricks of the square. It was a world away from the quad serving as the center of school life now.
Redbrick buildings circled the area, but Killian only focused on one thing. The boy sitting on the icy ground in front of a black wrought-iron gate that rose above Killian’s head.
Diego held a delicate black flower in his hands as he stared down at the satin smooth petals. Wylder had been right. Someone obviously took care of this garden. It was beautiful with more snow-sprinkled blooms than Killian could count. He didn’t even think flowers could grow in the winter, but here they were.
Diego looked up with an indecipherable expression as Killian approached.
As soon as Killian took in the downward curve of his lips and the hard glint in his eyes, he couldn’t hold the words back. “What’s your problem, Diego?”
Diego dropped the flower and stood, dusting snow off his pants. “I… I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to talk to me.” He crossed his arms. “Why are you avoiding me?”
“Well, we…” He blew out a breath, and steam curled in front of his face. Sticking his hands deep in his pockets, he dug his toe into the snow and dropped his voice to a whisper. “We snuggled.”
Killian’s lips twitched at the term, but he didn’t let a full smile form. “I’m aware. We fell asleep, Diego. It happens.”
“Your hand was under my shirt,” he whispered.
“Why are you whispering? Who do you think is going to hear us in this defunct part of campus? Talk like a normal person for once in your life!”
Diego took a step back. “I thought you said normal is overrated.”
“It is. Or maybe it’s not. I don’t know, Diego. All I know is I woke up this morning, and suddenly, this friendship we’ve been building is broken.”
Diego chewed on his lip. “You think we’re friends?”
Killian’s heart sank. “What else would we be?”
“I know you’ve said it… But you’re you and I’m me. We aren’t exactly the type of guys who’d be friends.”
Killian stepped toward him. “We spend every day together.” Another step. “I took you riding—something I don’t even tell other people I know how to do.” He stopped right in front of Diego. “I tell you things no one else knows.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.�
�
“But we’re really friends?”
Killian sighed. “Yeah, Diego.”
“Just for now when everyone has left for break?”
Killian shook his head.
“You mean you’ll still be my friend when your real friends come back?”
Killian rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know who you think I am, Diego. Before you, my only friends were Kenny and Wylder. I’m not this version of a hockey player you have in your head. I don’t want to hang out with all those other people. I like being with you.”
Diego swallowed. “But are yo—”
“Stop with the questions already.” He moved back, needing some space, and turned his face to the blue sky above. “I can’t be the only one with answers. You’re the one who ran this morning. You’re the one who has been avoiding me.” Lowering his eyes to Diego’s once more, he hated the desperation in his voice. “What do you want from me, Diego?”
A moment passed between them when they stood frozen, locked in a battle of wills. Killian had so few people he could count on in his life. He wanted Diego to be one of them, but in order for that to happen, they had to be honest.
When Diego didn’t respond, Killian blew out a breath in frustration and turned to leave. “Fine, Diego. Just…fine.” He started down the path, just needing some space to think.
He’d made it only a few steps when a hand clamped around his wrist. Killian turned to find Diego only a breath away.
“Are you going to be honest with me, Diego?”
He didn’t speak. Instead, he closed the remaining distance between them and pressed his lips to Killian’s.
At first, Killian didn’t respond. This couldn’t be happening.
But then his mind caught up, and he returned Diego’s kiss, matching his desperation with his own. Every feeling he’d experienced in the past week flooded him all at once, and, he realized, this was what he wanted, who he wanted.
For so long, he’d pushed almost all human connection at Defiance Academy away, telling himself it was so he could focus on hockey. But now, in this moment, he wanted both. Hockey and a life.
Dating Him: The Series Page 58
