“My mother died when I was young. I don’t remember much about her and her family. They all live in Venezuela, so I don’t get to see them much. I talk to my grandmother all the time though.” That reminded him he needed to call her tonight.
“Are you Killy’s boyfriend?” Rory asked, glancing from Killian to Diego.
“Oh no,” Diego said, and his face flushed with heat thinking of that kiss in the garden. Killian was lonely, but Diego couldn’t expect that kiss to actually turn into anything. Killian never dated. Wylder had told him that much. “We’re just friends and roommates. Your brother likes to teach me things that usually end up with me adding a new bruise to my growing collection.” Diego couldn’t decipher the look on Killian’s face. He seemed upset by his sister’s innocent question.
“And exactly what have you boys been up to over break?” Maggie gave Killian a wary look.
For one horrible moment, Diego thought he’d gotten Killian into trouble, but his laughter set him at ease.
“Well, I’ve unsuccessfully tried to teach Diego how to ice skate and ride horses. Both ended with Diego not liking me very much.”
“I did okay with the ice skates, but the horses didn’t like me at all.” Diego’s gave a rueful smile. “Honestly, the feeling was mutual after spending an afternoon mucking out stalls for detention.”
“Detention?” Maggie turned her mom glare on Killian again. “Are you getting this sweet boy in trouble?”
“It was nothing, Ma.” Killian rushed on. “Diego’s been teaching me how to play video games while I’ve stayed off the ice to rest up from my injury. I liked Fallout more than I care to admit. And the other day, he showed me this amazing garden on the old school grounds.” He leaned down to Rory’s level. “Did you know there are flowers that bloom in the winter? A whole garden of them.”
“Nuh-uh,” Rory disagreed. “Flowers don’t grow in the snow.”
“They do too,” Diego said. “I’ll show you.”
“Killy, can we go ice skating?” Zoe asked. “We brought our skates.”
“Sure, sure. Let’s go work off all this food, and we’ll show you around campus. We can come back for a snack or something later tonight before we head to the hotel room. I have to sleep in my dorm tonight, but I’ll stay with you guys till curfew.”
“I’ll call an Uber.” His mom picked up her phone.
“Yay! Let’s go skating first,” Zoe said.
“No, I want to see the flowers first.” Rory scowled.
“We’ll do both, Rors. I want to show you where I play hockey, and then we’ll go see the flowers. Okay, kiddo?”
“Deal.” She held her hand out for a high-five from her brother.
Diego followed Killian’s family out of the diner to the waiting Uber. He was fascinated with their family dynamic. They didn’t have much and they struggled to make ends meet, but the whole family seemed to care more about getting to see Killian than unwrapping any presents they might have had if they’d stayed home.
Diego loved his father, but they’d never had that kind of relationship, and he’d give just about anything to have what Killian had.
19
Killian
Ice skating was a lot easier with his family than it had been with Diego. Killian taught both his sisters to skate years ago, and his mom always had a natural grace.
Diego opted to sit on the bench and watch them, laughing at Rory’s ridiculousness. She was such a clown, and Killian didn’t know what he did to deserve a family like his.
Visiting for the holiday couldn’t have been easy for them. What had his mom done to get the loan from her boss? How many extra hours would she have to work to make up for not being there to prepare the Martinez Christmas dinner? She wasn’t their only cook, but they sure acted like it sometimes.
But whatever she’d done, Killian couldn’t feel bad for having them here. Christmas Eve had always been a James family affair. Until he missed it the year before. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed his family until his sisters walked into that barn.
After skating, they went to the Old Square so Rory could see the flowers that bloomed in winter. She walked ahead of them with Diego, both talking a mile a minute. She’d listen as he went on one of his long-winded explanations before starting in on her millions of questions.
It almost made Killian forget what Diego had said at the diner. Almost.
We’re just friends and roommates.
It wasn’t a lie exactly. They hadn’t talked about what that kiss meant or the next one after that. But Killian thought they were headed in a very different direction than Diego obviously did.
His mom looped her arm through his as they walked back toward the dorms. “I’ve been worried about you, son.”
“Why?” He didn’t look at her.
“When we talk, you seem like you’re not enjoying any of this. Like this opportunity is more of a burden on your mind than a blessing.”
Killian shrugged. She wasn’t wrong. Up until this year, he’d kept everyone at a distance—even his team. It was easier just to go through his days mechanically, doing what was expected of him, never saying much.
“You think about us too much.” She nudged him.
“I don’t think that’s possible, Mom.”
She smiled softly. “Killian, we’re okay. I know you don’t think that, but your sisters and I are getting by. Do you want to know one of the things that keeps us going?”
When he didn’t answer, she pulled him to a stop and turned to face him. “How proud we are of you.” Her fingers brushed his cheek. “I don’t want to see you letting these wonderful years go by without making memories you’ll never forget.”
“I’m making memories, Mom. Have you seen my stat line? This is the best season I’ve ever played. We could win the playoffs.”
“That’s just hockey, kiddo. A game. You have to have something more.”
His eyes drifted to where Zoey bent over laughing as she talked to Diego. He’d never thought he needed something more. Then Kenny and Wylder adopted him, and he realized how nice it was to have people around who cared about him.
What he hadn’t expected was Diego.
His mom followed his gaze and made a sound of acknowledgment in the back of her throat. “Come on, Killian. It’s been a long day. Come stay in the hotel with us tonight. Then we can spend tomorrow together before we have to leave in the evening. I’ll call your headmistress and make arrangements.”
“I wish you could stay longer.”
She slid her arm through his again and urged him to start walking. “I do too. But I need to get back to work.”
He nodded in understanding. Everything his mom did was for her kids, and he couldn’t make her feel bad for that.
They left Diego at the dorm but not before he insisted on paying for their Uber. Killian was too tired to argue, so he uttered a small thanks and accepted the ride.
The hotel room was nicer than any Killian could remember setting foot in, and he knew immediately his mom hadn’t paid for it. There was something she wasn’t telling him about their impromptu trip.
Two queen beds with turquoise quilts took up the far end of the room next to a wall of windows overlooking a snowy wooded area. Plush couches sat near a kitchenette.
A small bag was already in the room, containing their overnight clothes. Zoey went straight into the bathroom, claiming the need to shower after traveling and ice skating.
Rory pulled a Dr. Seuss book out of the bag and curled up on the bed to rest.
“You hungry, Ma?” Killian pulled out his phone, noting the time was well-past their normally early dinner time. “I can order a pizza.”
“Sure. That sounds good.”
After placing the call, Killian sat on the couch and kicked off his shoes before leaning back. It was still hard to believe his family was here in Ohio with him. Somehow, they didn’t fit. “In my head, I only see you guys on a ranch in Texas, not some swanky hotel in Riverpass.”
Relaxing onto the couch beside him, his mom fixed her tired eyes on him. He couldn’t remember ever seeing her not tired.
“We belong wherever we’re all together.” She patted his hand.
“You’re worried I won’t make the most of this opportunity, Mom, and I know you say hockey is just a game, but that game is what this is all about. If I really make it, if I succeed, you won’t have to rely on the charity of others to see me. I’ll be able to take care of all of you. I can do this. I promise you.”
She smiled and cupped his cheek. “You have always been a sweet boy, Killian, but we aren’t your responsibility. I want you to reach the NHL because it’s your dream. No other reason.” She removed her hand. “And it wasn’t charity that got us here. It was someone who cared a great deal about making you happy. That’s not charity, son, it’s love.”
“Who would— ” No. There was only one person who could afford to bring his family, one person who knew how much missing the holiday with them hurt Killian. “Why would he do that?”
We’re just friends and roommates.
Did Killian have a right to be mad? “I don’t want Diego’s money. People like that throw it around as if it doesn’t mean anything.”
“Son, he didn’t give you money, he gave you your family, and that means a whole heck of a lot.”
“Why? How?”
“He called me a few days ago. I didn’t know who he was at first, but he explained you were friends. I wasn’t sure what to make of him. He kept rambling on about you being lonely. Finally, I had to ask what his reason for calling was. Do you know what he said?”
Killian shook his head.
“To make you happy. He spelled out his plan to surprise you. I immediately went to Mrs. Martinez and told her I was taking two days off. She couldn’t say no because she doesn’t want to have to replace me. And here we are.”
Killian looked around the room. “He paid for all of this?”
“I think it’s time you tell me about this young man.”
Killian blew out a breath. Where did he start. “Mom, I’m gay.”
She grinned. “Yes. But tell me about Diego.”
“That’s all you have to say? Yes?”
A laugh broke past her lips. “I once said you never had to explain to me who you were. Zoey knows the same thing although with the amount of boys sniffing around… The only thing I care about is whoever you give your heart to, let it be someone who knows what they have. Someone who respects you. Someone who makes you laugh until it hurts. Someone who isn’t afraid to take a risk on you.”
He thought of Diego going skating or getting onto a horse because he trusted Killian. The two of them laughed and talked and taught each other about the things they loved. Everything happened so fast, but Killian felt himself changing. He no longer wanted to be the loner, the guy who spent all his time training and had nothing outside that rink.
“I kissed him, Mom. Well, he kissed me first. Then I kissed him. And I can’t stop thinking about it, but I don’t know if he believes in me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think he has this idea in his head I’m just lonely. That I’m a straight guy who had nothing better to do than kiss him on my winter break. Sure, there have been so few people around the last two weeks, but that doesn’t matter. I kissed him because I wanted to. I just don’t know what he wants.”
She was quiet for a moment. “He didn’t bring us here on a whim, son. I think this shows you what he wants.”
They hadn’t realized Zoey had finished her shower and came out of the bathroom wearing her fuzzy pajamas. She sat on the end of the bed facing the couch. Rory crawled over to mimic her position.
“Killian.” Zoey lifted a brow. “Are you really this dense?”
“Um, trick question?”
“I watched Diego all day today.”
Killian’s lips ticked up. “Creeper.”
She shrugged. “You would not believe the amount of looks he threw your way. It was sickening. None of my boyfriends look at me like that.”
He choked. “Boyfriends? Plural? So what, your brother leaves and no one is there to give them the third degree so they don’t disappear?”
Rory snorted. “I give them the third what’s-it.”
Zoey smirked. “Getting off topic. Diego is completely adorable and way too good for you, Killian. But for some reason, he seems to have a thing for doofuses.”
Rory elbowed her. “Killian isn’t a doofus.”
He shot his littlest sister a wink. “So, what? Is this some kind of family discussion about my love life now?”
“Just be glad we’re here.” Zoey crossed her arms. “You need us.”
He did. “Okay, if you’re so smart, what do I do about Diego?”
Zoey lifted a brow as if the answer was obvious. “Kiss him again. But this time, try not to mess it up by being an oblivious doofus who doesn’t see the need to talk about it afterward. Seriously, how are you still alive?”
“All right, all right.” Their mom laughed. “Lay off, Killian.”
Killian would never tell Zoey, but she was right. He was a doofus.
After kissing Diego in the garden, he hadn’t mentioned it again. To be honest, he hadn’t known what to say. Talking was Diego’s thing, not his.
How was Killian supposed to tell his roommate he had feelings for him? The feelings weren’t easy for a guy so focused on the future to the detriment of the now. They’d come as a complete surprise, but they shouldn’t have. Diego was unlike anyone he’d ever met. He was just… good.
And he’d brought Killian’s family to him for Christmas. As angry as Killian had been when he first heard that, it made sense now. Diego cared about him.
His sisters fell asleep after eating pizza and Killian sat shoulder to shoulder with his mom on the bed watching an old black and white Christmas movie. He couldn’t remember what it was called or even what it was about. His mind kept drifting back to Diego.
“Mom,” he whispered.
“Go, Killian. We’ll still be here when you get back. Never wait to tell the people you care about just how you feel.”
Kissing her cheek, he slid from the bed and stepped into his shoes before shrugging on his coat. He fiddled with his phone to order an Uber and stopped at the door, looking back at his family. He didn’t want them to leave tomorrow, but he knew now when they did, he wouldn’t be alone.
At least, he hoped not.
He walked down to the lobby and waited until his phone told him the red sedan was there. Outside, fresh powder fell through the dark night, obscuring the stars overhead.
The car pulled through the Defiance Academy gates a few minutes later and he showed his ID to the guards.
After issuing a quick thank you, he jumped out in front of Thomas Hall and looked up at the long brick building.
He entered through the side door and hurried down the hall to his room. The sudden urge to knock came over him. It was his own room, but still, he lifted a hand and rapped his knuckles against the door.
No answer.
He knocked again.
When no one came, he slid his keycard in and turned the handle. But the room was empty.
A defeated sigh rattled in his chest as he ordered another Uber to take him back to the hotel. He’d been so sure this was their moment, that it would happen like a movie. Diego was supposed to be in the room thinking about Killian. His eyes would light up when he saw his roommate, and they’d be pulled together like some gravitational force.
Instead of going back to the side door, Killian made his way toward the lobby of the building, knowing the car would get him out front. He had twenty minutes to wait since they had to get through security.
He’d almost reached the lobby when Will’s voice reached him. “Take that!” He laughed.
Another boy’s laughter joined his as Killian reached the lounge area. Will and Diego sat on separate couches with controllers in their hands. On the TV screen, the
ir Call of Duty characters waged war. It didn’t exactly seem like Diego’s kind of game, but he grinned at the screen.
Will noticed Killian first. “Hey, man! Diego said you weren’t around tonight.”
Everything Killian wanted to say to Diego flew out of his head, and he just stared at him. “I…uh…”
Diego offered him a smile. “Is Zoey awful to share a bed with? Does she kick or something?”
It took a moment for him to realize what Diego meant. He thought Killian returned so he could sleep in his own bed. “She’s fine.” He’d been so determined, so brave, on the way over here. He was Killian James, goalie star and NHL hopeful. He faced pucks flying at his face and boys slamming him into the ice. Talking to his roommate should have been nothing.
Yet, it was everything.
“I…”
“You don’t look so good, Killer.” Will gave him a concerned look. “All this cold finally getting to the Texas boy? I swear, we don’t normally get this much snow. It’s been a weird year. Don’t hold it against us.” He laughed.
Killian didn’t.
“My Uber should be here.” A lie. He still had ten minutes at least, but he couldn’t stand another moment in that room with the words clogging in his throat.
We’re just roommates and friends.
Was Diego right? Maybe the kiss really had been just that. A simple kiss.
Without another word, he turned on his heel and pushed through the glass double doors to the outside. He put his hands on his head as the steamy breath curled in front of his face.
The doors opened behind him, but he didn’t turn at the sound.
“Killian.” Diego sounded out of breath.
“I’m fine, Diego. Go back inside. It’s cold out here.”
“No.”
Killian turned slowly.
Diego hugged his arms across himself. The guy hadn’t even thought to grab his coat. Snowflakes clung to his eyelashes and melted as they dropped to his cheeks. His gaze didn’t leave Killian’s. “Something is wrong. I can tell.”
Dating Him: The Series Page 61
