As Agnes embraced her in return, Eleanor got lost in thoughts. Her sister genuinely loved her. All she had to do was prove her love in return and stay away from Nicholas, for good. He was a danger, not only to her heart anymore but to her relationship with her sister, and her virtue.
“In a bid to establish fairness, I expect to have my scarf gifted to me in remarkable time.”
At Isabelle’s words, they all laughed again, and Eleanor hoped with all her heart that this love they shared would never change.
Just as they settled down to continue their work, the door barged open, and their mother floated in. The happiness on her face was palpable, and Eleanor instantly had a feeling that the news to come would break her heart completely. She was right.
“Agnes, you must hurry and go change! Nicholas and his mother are here! They are ready to make an official proposal!”
Betrayed, even when she shouldn’t feel so, Eleanor murmured an excuse no one heard and slipped out of the drawing room. Distraught, she paid no heed to her movement. She only wanted to reach her chambers and lock herself in again. In their safety, she could cry her eyes out. She continued to walk in a blind haze until she hit something solid. Arms instinctively came around her, and she knew she must have run into someone. Believing it was one of the servants, she lifted her head to offer her apologies and locked gazes with a pair of thunderclouds.
She froze, everything stopped, then with a powerful force, it all came rushing back to her. Without considering any thought, she pulled herself away and took to her heels. As she ran up the stairs, she heard Elizabeth ask, “What was that all about? Oh dear, I do hope she is fine.”
She caught his reply just before she completed her ascent. “I do too.”
As soon as she locked her doors behind her, she fell into a heap on the floor and cried her eyes out.
Why? Why did love have to hurt so much? Why did fate have to be so cruel?
Chapter 18
This was it, Agnes thought to herself as she came down the steps. Her fate was going to be sealed today. Notwithstanding her insistence that the dress she had been in was suitable enough to receive their visitors, her mother had her escorted to her chamber, through the servant hallways. Now, she was in her opinion, a terribly elaborate gown for a morning visit. The corset she had been forced into was a trifle tighter this time around. It almost made it impossible to breathe. Hopefully, Nicholas would not suggest a walk, and after this proposal was done with, she would be permitted to return to her bed.
Mustering a light smile, she took the last two steps and headed for the large drawing room. This one was strictly for guests.
“The Lady Agnes Birmingham,” Edward announced as she neared, and Nicholas rose. Head held high, spine straight, shoulders squared, and hands clasped in front of her to hide her anxiety, she floated into the drawing room. Her mother beamed at her, so did Elizabeth. One thing was as clear as day, they thoroughly approved.
“My Lady, regal, as always.” She unclasped her hands, so that she could fit her left hand into Nicholas’s outheld one. As she did, he took it and bowed, placing a cool kiss atop. Even now, she felt absolutely nothing. A vast contrast to what she felt any time Alan touched her. Oh. Alan. He had written to her last night of his arrival. She hoped to see him soon, one last time to say her goodbye. Just one last time. Masking the turmoil in her heart with a pleasant smile, she dazzled.
“As you, Nicholas. You look dashing.” He did, in his black trousers, grey coat, and white shirt. He tied a grey cravat around his neck and it brought out the colour in his eyes. They were the hue of a thundercloud, quite unique and equally as beautiful.
“To what do I owe this honour? And to think you have brought the Duchess along with you?” Retrieving her hands, she gathered her skirts to go to the Duchess who was grinning from ear to ear. Upon reaching her, she halted about three feet away and dipped into a very low and perfect courtesy. It was for her mother. As she rose, she caught Victoria glowing from the side of her eye, and she gave herself a pat. If Alan listened to her tonight, her parents may never see her again. There was no way she would let go of her happiness without a fight. No way.
“It is an honour to have you here, today, My Lady. I shall summon for tea, right away.”
On her command, the maids hurried away and soon returned with a pot of tea and four ceramic cups. She quickly went to work. Calling years of practice into being, she lifted the pot and began to pour. In no time, she had perfectly filled every cup with tea, then she began to share. These were her visitors, she had to be the one to play hostess.
As she settled into her seat, she helped herself last, to her cup of tea. Pinky finger up in the air, she brought it close to her lips and took a sip.
“Father, I take it he is not in?” The question was directed to her mother who nodded.
“That is so. Away on a business call as always, I’m afraid. However, we have his blessings, and we must carry on. I shall make sure to inform him of every bit upon his return.”
Of course, Agnes thought. She would only be more than happy to do so.
Shifting her attention to Nicholas who had taken his seat only after she did, she asked again, “You finally find the time to call on me, My Lord. I hope this has not disrupted your activities so much?
“Absolutely not. I have marked out today, especially for you, milady. I offer my sincere apologies that I am only just fulfilling my promises now. The season has been awfully demanding. Thankfully, as the days went by, I thought of you more often, and I made my decision. Lady Agnes, we only have met on two occasions, but each time was wonderful. It is my belief that you are what I seek in a woman who is to be my wife. Graceful, sensible, and most of all, in possession of a beauty that radiates from the inside. Our parents have already consented to this union, and I see no reason why I should delay further.”
Agnes gave a pause, even though she already knew this was coming. Still, his words sounded so rehearsed, and though he held her eyes, she saw no emotion in his. None at all. She was no fool. Nicholas Stamford was interested in this marriage, as much as she was. Why then was he going ahead with this sham? He did not have to do this. He was a man in his prime still, could definitely get any lady of his choosing. Why her? Aware that those were questions to which she would never receive answers, she gave an inward sigh and kept a composed expression on her face as he walked over to her. Then he reached her, and before she could blink twice, he was on one knee.
On cue, she held her breath, and when he brought out a small box and opened it to reveal a very thin silver band with a glittery blue sapphire atop it, she gave a dramatic gasp. She had a feeling the other gasps she heard around her were every bit more genuine than hers. It was indeed a beautiful ring, but this was not the ring she wanted to receive.
“Nicholas, what is this?”
He said nothing, only removed the ring from the box, and after setting the latter aside, he took her left hand in his, while his right held the ring.
“Agnes, I would be the most honoured man on earth if you did me this favour of being my wife, My Lady, the madam of my household, and a mother to my heirs. I hope that I have many more years ahead of me, and soon, I shall ascend to my title. I do not think there is anyone better suited to rule my dukedom with me. Lady Agnes Birmingham, would you do me this great honour?”
She was not her mother’s daughter if she could not perform theatrics. Reaching for her fan, she began to blow herself, giving the impression that she was suddenly feeling hot. She willed herself to flush, so that at least, some colour would stain her cheeks. She must have achieved that feat for every one gave dreamy sighs. She gave herself a mental congratulation and proceeded to the next phase.
“Oh Nicholas! I... This… I... Heavens! I am afraid you have rendered me speechless.” She took a deliberate pause as though to gather herself and continued, “That was very sweet of you Nicholas and this, is very beautiful. How can I ever dare to refuse you when you ask so sweetly? Indeed. Yes
, I will marry you!”
Cheers went up around them, and he promptly slipped the ring on her middle finger. She made a show of fawning over it before giving him her cheeks to kiss. She could not bear the thought of his embrace, talk more a kiss on her lips!
“You have made me a very happy man, Agnes. Please, accept this as a token of my love, a proposal gift, you may call it. I do hope that you love it.” He went to his mother who handed him a small box, and he returned with it. She took it from him and opened the chest with a click. In there laid the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen. It was adorned with rubies.
“Oh my! You should not have. I fear you will spoil me with all these exquisite presents.”
“I have only just begun, dear fiancée.” While those words caused trepidation inside of her, she smiled like it was music to her ears.
Rachel appeared by her side, and she handed the box over to her. It would be returned together with the ring which adorned her fingers if her plans went well.
“Mother and I have decided that a short courtship would be best. I do hope you do not mind. It would very much please me if we were to be married by the end of the season,” Nicholas announced.
She looked at her mother, not in any way surprised by this. “Isn’t that barely two months away? Is this possible, Mother?”
“Of course it is! I am Victoria Birmingham, after all. Anything is possible once I set my heart to it. By the end of the season, it shall be. I declare that the whole of London is about to witness the grandest wedding ever. You just leave it to me! Elizabeth dear, can you believe we are to be in-laws?” Then rising from her seat, she walked over to Nicholas and Agnes. As she placed her hands on both their cheeks, the happiness in her eyes radiated.
“You have done us very proud, my children. Well done.”
That was it; it was settled. A lot of formalities followed after his proposal. Her father arrived and was informed of the news. Preparations began, and agreements ensued. After what seemed like hours, Agnes was finally excused and allowed to return to her chambers. As soon as she did, she began to hatch her plan. First, she picked her quill and a piece of paper, then began to write.
A. S
I received news of your return, yestereve. As I read your words of love, one eye shed tears of joy and another shed tears of pain. As I write to you, this love which we have nursed and nurtured lies in great danger. Do come for me tonight, and I shall tell it all to you. I remain yours completely, in heart, body, and soul.
Love,
A.
As soon as she was done, she sent for the footman, Leandro, who was her most trusted servant in that house, and her messenger. She said no words as she handed him the letter. Only, “Ensure that he receives it before nightfall.”
When she saw the look of pity the footman bestowed upon her, the tears she had been holding in dropped. As he left, shutting the door behind him, she finally gave in, and the river of tears overflowed.
Chapter 19
Agnes woke up with a start at the sound of stones hitting her window. She felt awful, having slept from her bout of tear-shedding. It took a while for her head to clear and for her to process what it was she was actually hearing. Stones. Three hits, a break, then repeat. Why did that rhythm sound so familiar?
Oh! Alan! As soon as it came to her, she was out of her bed. She almost tripped over the skirts she had not bothered to take off upon her return. It had also gone deathly dark outside, but a gas lamp hung, lit up in a corner, affording her the much needed lighting to navigate around. No doubt, one of the servants had done that job as night fell. Lifting the skirts into her hands, she ran over to the window and pulled it open. She sighted him immediately, in a hidden corner only she knew of, waving to her. A big grin stole across her face as she pushed her head out of the window and waved in return. Then, she signalled that she would be down soon.
She tore herself away and went to wash off in the basin of water she always had available in her bath. When that was done, she managed to get herself out of her contraptions, into the men’s clothes she used as disguise. As soon as she was dressed, her hair in a tight knot at the base of her neck and coveted with a hat, she slipped out of her bedroom quietlyand found her way to the servants’ quarters. Light on her toes, she made no sound until she stepped out through their door. As soon as the night breeze blew against her skin, she broke into a run, headed for Alan.
He had his arms wide open as she reached him, and she flung herself at him with all her might. He would catch her, she knew this, and he did. As she connected with rock solid chest, strong arms cane around her, and she hung on as if for dear life.
“I missed you. So terribly. Every minute of the day. I never want to be apart from you again, Alan. I pray thee! Take me with you.”
She felt the rumble in his chest as he chuckled. “I missed you every second of the day, Agnes. You must release me so that we leave. We cannot remain here for too long, else we’d be seen.”
Immediately, she let go of him and let him lead her to an inner garden where she was certain no one would visit by this time. The moment they arrived, they settled on a long stone chair. Her anxiety returned as she wondered how best to break the news. Thankfully, he did it for her.
“I received your summons just as I was going to send mine. I was with your father when the news of your engagement reached him. What is this I hear Agnes; you are to be married?”
He sounded so hurt that she could not help reaching for him. She cradled his face in her hand and beheld his lovely forest green eyes. Then she moved to his brow, his nose, his lips, feeling them with her hands. If this was the last time she would meet with him this way, and she wanted to commit it all to memory. Closing her eyes, she rested her forehead against his and took a deep, ragged breath.
“It is what it is. I am to be married. I would have told you sooner, but I wanted to do it in person. I thought it would be too cruel, otherwise. I apologise.”
“So, it’s true?” came the broken question. Her heart broke further with it. She opened her eyes and leaned back so that she could look at him, show him the sincerity in every word.
“I am afraid, yes. Mother and Father have put their feet down. I could not refuse this one. I had no other choice than to accept. You must believe me.” Tears dropped from her eyes, the pain too heavy to bear. When she spoke again, it came out in sobs.
“I only ever want to be married to you, Alan. I have begged you before, and I am begging you again, please, run away with me. We can go anywhere you want. Take me to the overseas, those places you speak so fondly of. We would be happy together. So happy. This is the only chance we have got left. Take me, Alan. Please!”
Her tears dropped heavily, and his hands came around her, hugging her to his chest while her agony racked through her. For a long, long time, he said nothing. Silence reigned, except for her sobs. Slowly, but eventually, she quieted down, and he finally spoke.
“I know you Agnes. You love me, but you also love your family. I do not think you will truly be happy so far away from them; no, I do not think so. Moreover, my answer still remains. We cannot betray your father this way. Think of what this would do to your parents. We have always known from the onset that we were doomed for this. Let us be grateful for the time we have had, for now, we must say our goodbyes.”
Her world came crashing down, every bit of it. The last candle of hope melted completely, flickering out to never be lighted again. She had hoped and prayed that Alan would see reason with her. That maybe the reality of losing her for good would force his hand, that he would not concede so easily and leave her to be had by another man. She had been wrong. Suddenly cold as though she had been doused with rocks of ice, she wrenched herself out of his arms.
Her voice held every betrayal and hurt she felt as she spoke. Yet, her demeanour remained calm, unperturbed.
“I see that I was wrong. I was wrong to think that you loved me and that you would be willing to sacrifice it all for me, just as I a
m willing to sacrifice more. Sadly, still you put your honour above me. Not even as you see my pain. Not even as you learn that I am never to be yours. The times we have had? They are nothing! Nothing compared to the life of sorrow I will be sentenced to without you. You would offer me to another man on a platter of gold? Do I mean so little? I had hoped not.”
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