“Okay,” I chirped. “Now get out so I can finish this dream.”
I watched him walk out, shaking his head, and smiled. This was a sweet dream, one of the better ones I’d had in ages. I’d been missing him something fierce, and this was a comfort I needed. Alone again, I returned to my workout, pushing hard, knowing my dream self still wanted a healthy body and mind. Weights and reading in Latin. That would be my new morning routine, assuming that the book was real.
“Ashor,” I called out. “Want to visit me here? You’ve gotta work out, old man, with that ripped body. You’re lying if you say otherwise.”
No one responded, much to my disappointment.
✽ ✽ ✽
I skipped my way back up to my apartment. Nicholas snored from his side of the bed, his messy hair sticking out from underneath the pillow. It was an endearing habit of his, hiding beneath something to block out the nonexistent sunlight. The months we’d been together hadn’t inured him to early mornings. I hadn’t been a morning person in my previous life as a typical teenager. Since arriving at the Order, however, I’d gotten used to getting up early to work out thanks to Jordan.
My mind still reeled from the bizarre dream with Jordan. Climbing back into bed, I put the book where I’d found it, next to my alarm clock, and closed my eyes. Sleep came quickly as did the second alarm I’d set to wake both me and Nicholas for work. He grumbled as he stretched, shuffled over to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. I heard the shower come on.
I smiled as I remembered my vivid dreams.
Nicholas emerged from the bathroom dressed, his hair still wet and sticking up all over the place. “Have you seen my green shirt?”
“In the closet,” I said. “I had the strangest dreams.”
“Yeah? Want to talk about it over coffee? Wait, did you miss your workout?”
I glanced over at the alarm clock, and lo-and-behold, there was the dusty book.
“Holy shit,” I whispered. Either I was losing my mind, or those dreams hadn’t been dreams.
“Sweetheart,” he said. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head as I dressed and found a half-empty pot of coffee in the kitchen. “Holy shit.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked again.
“Have you ever had a dream within a dream, only to find out that neither were dreams and had happened?”
He smiled and filled two mugs with the nectar of the gods. Handing me one, he shook his head. “Not that I can recall. Is this part of the strange dream you wanted to talk about?”
“I don’t think they were dreams. Did I wake you up by accident on my way to the gym?”
“You smacked my stomach with something. A book maybe?” He shrugged. “I wasn’t paying much attention. Why? Did you not go?”
“I think I did.”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Want me to make you breakfast to settle you?”
“No, I have to go.” I jumped up, ran back to the bedroom, finished dressing, and grabbed my heels, not bothering with my usual slathering of makeup. I slipped them on as I stumbled back into the living room and grabbed my bag. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll explain later.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, used to my weird moods. “I’ll call you when I have a break at work. Have a good day.” He took my hand long enough to pull me in for a goodbye kiss. He turned around to raid the refrigerator for something to eat before starting his day.
I wished him a good day back and was out the door.
I ran as fast as I could in those absurdly high heels that Cecilia had picked out for me in a rare moment of kindness. The elevator took its damn sweet time making its way and an even longer time descending to the underground level where Jordan lived. Standing in front of the door, I took a shaky breath and punched in the door’s security code. I crossed the threshold and stopped when I spotted Jordan in the kitchen, fresh from a shower, droplets of water sparkling in his cropped hair, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and socks.
“No way,” I breathed.
Jordan looked up and smiled. “Are you awake or are you still dreaming?”
“I’m awake. I think. You’re back?”
“I’m also making breakfast. Do you want scrambled eggs?”
“You’re back,” I repeated. “You’re really here?”
“Yes, I’m here. Is that a no for breakfast?”
Laughing, I dropped my bag and flew into his open arms. “You came back to me. Us.”
“Didn’t I promise I’d come back? I’m just a few weeks later than expected.”
I was glad I hadn’t worn makeup as tears streamed down my face. Whether they were tears of relief, frustration, or pure joy, I didn’t know. “You came back. They all said I was crazy, that you’d abandoned us. Me.”
“That’s what they told me when you were gone. I may have doubted, but I never lost faith in you.” He patted my back soothingly.
My sobs redoubled. My other half, the man who owned part of my soul, had returned. He was real, as sure as the steady heartbeat and the warm arms around me. “I told them.”
“No more crying,” he chided. “I tried to make it back by September, but I got caught up in something. Now, I’m here, and don’t plan on leaving soon.”
I took a step back and wiped my face with an embarrassed laugh. “Have you seen anyone else?”
“No. Like I said, you’re the only person I knew who’d be awake when I arrived. I’ll see everyone else later.”
“Where were you?”
The corner of his lips ticked up in a mysterious smile. “Where haven’t I been? Let’s say my passport is full.”
“The real one or one of your aliases?”
“I never use my real one. And a couple of aliases are full. I’ll show you one day.”
“Why didn’t you call?”
“I was busy, and I wouldn’t have been able to explain anything. There wasn’t a good reason to bother anyone. Besides, you told me that everyone was okay. That’s all I needed to know.”
“Mikael misses you.”
Jordan smiled again, his eyes softening. “I missed him too. Think you can spare him for a few hours today so we can catch up?”
“Whatever you want. You’re the boss.”
“No, you’re the boss.” He scratched at his shadow of a beard. “I guess that means you’re my boss now. Can I get a few days off to re-acclimate?”
“Dude, whatever you want. Now that you’re back, everyone will defer to you, and I’m okay with that.”
“The transition was inevitable. I wasn’t meant to lead.”
“Really? Because you’re good at it.”
“I know,” he said, ego making those lips tick upward again. “But I was meant to serve, to tether, and to protect. That much became clear while I was gone.”
“I was not meant to sit behind a desk. Fighting with you, or at least by your side, is where I belong.”
“Change the roles. Hire an administrator. It doesn’t matter.”
“I can do that?”
“You’re the boss.” He turned back to the stove and made a huge serving of eggs and bacon. I knew he had a healthy appetite, but that was an absurd amount of food. He’d used the better part of a dozen eggs and half a pack of bacon for that meal. Humming to himself, he retrieved a pair of plates, two large glasses, and two sets of cutleries from the cabinets and drawers. I watched him divvy the food up between the two plates and walk them over to his small dining table. “Sit and eat.”
He ignored me for a few minutes as he ate and sipped from his huge glass of orange juice. I was too shocked to do anything but take him in. Nothing about this seemed real. I’d been in this apartment all of three times. He was private to an extreme. And now we were having breakfast like it was no big deal. “I’m a decent cook, and it’s not like you can ruin eggs and bacon. Nothing’s burned.”
“Uh-huh. Tell me everything.”
The humor faded, and he was thoughtful again, chewing slowly. “You al
ready know everything. I had to leave to handle things. I traveled a lot, and now I’m home.”
I stared at him, mouth ajar. “That’s it?”
“That’s all anyone needs to know. Leave it alone.”
Prying was a form of communication to me, and as satisfying as it would have been to badger him until he spilled every last detail, I wasn’t ready to create any ill feelings between us. I picked up my fork and took a small bite. “These are good,” I said. “Can you tell me which was your favorite country?”
“I don’t know about a country, but I had a fun few days in Amsterdam. The pizza in Sicily is obscene, and Guinness is best drunk in Britain.” He wrinkled his nose. “Mexico wasn’t as amusing as I remembered. Then again, it was one country where I didn’t stay long. Enough about me. How’s everything here?”
I frowned, not sure how to explain the low-level hostilities and tensions that permeated the Circle and my job. “Not much has changed. Work is hard,” I admitted. “I don’t know what I’d do without Mikael and Voss. He won’t let me call him Benjamin after the first time I yelled at him. He says I sound too much like his mother.”
“Try calling him Benny if you want to push him over the edge. And the team? Are they treating you okay?”
It had been a hard-won battle to get their unquestioning obedience, but we were getting there. If they questioned me, it was behind my back and in whispers now. They accepted me, but they’d never adore me the way they did Jordan.
I shrugged. “It’s as good as I could hope. They listen and get the job done.”
“Well, you look the part. Are you wearing heels?” he asked with disbelief.
I flushed and closed my eyes. “Yes. I also wear makeup most days.”
“What happened? I wasn’t worth the effort?”
“My makeup bag is in my office, doofus. Why haven’t you asked about anyone else?”
Jordan arched a brow. “Let me guess. Danny is still an asshole, Cecilia still bitches at you. Esai bugs you. Dakarai hasn’t changed and is still enigmatic. I plan on stealing Mikael away for a while to catch up. What am I missing?”
If I were red before, I was scarlet now. Amid everything, I’d forgotten one important person in my life. “Nicholas.”
Jordan’s eyes tightened. “How is he?”
“Fine. Good. Great, I mean. He returned to his old job. It suits him better.”
“And you and him?”
“Yeah.” I stared down at my plate and shoveled food in my mouth, embarrassed and annoyed that I felt guilty about being in a relationship.
“Well, good. As long as you’re happy.” Jordan stood and took his empty plate to the sink. “Like I said, I’d like a few days to myself to catch up, but after that, I’m all yours, boss. I don’t know how soon I might join you for workouts again—you know, with jet lag and all.”
“Whenever you want. I’m always there at the same time.” My plate was only half empty, and I was stuffed. “Thanks for breakfast.”
“Done?” When I nodded, he sat down, took my plate and finished my meal. “Every so often, I felt you.”
“Huh?”
“It was a sense you were talking or thinking about me.” He blushed and rubbed the scars of his left arm. “A tickling in the back of my brain. It was you. Stupid, I know.”
“Your name may have come up a time or twenty in conversation. Who knows?”
We stared at each other for a long moment. My phone rang, and I jumped. Glancing down, I saw it was ten. I picked up and apologized.
“Mikael, I’m sorry. You’ll never guess what—”
Jordan waved at me and mimed at me to be silent at the risk of a gruesome death.
Grinning, I nodded and continued. “I have a surprise for you later today. Sorry, it’s taken a while to arrange.”
“You have a meeting in fifteen minutes,” Mikael said, the annoyance in his voice ringing clear. “I’ve had to reschedule two calls.”
“Sorry, sorry. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Right.”
I laughed as he disconnected the call. “I’m sorry. I have to leave. When can we catch up?”
“Whenever you’re free. Tomorrow? And think about hiring an administrator. It pains me to imagine you on those calls although not as much as it pains me to think it used to be me.”
“Smartass,” I said, standing and gathering my
belongings.
He walked me to the door and put a hand on my shoulder. “Thanks for believing in me.”
I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek. “Welcome back.”
CHAPTER FOUR
MY SPIRITS WERE HIGHER than I could have ever imagined as I sailed into my office. Mikael stomped in behind me with a stack of files in his arms. His disheveled hair and crooked tie matched my discombobulated mood. My good cheer, however, outdid his scowl.
“Good morning,” I trilled.
“Did you and Nicholas have a late breakfast?”
“No,” I said, the grin threatening to split my face. “It’s been an interesting morning. I’ll tell you about it later. What’s on the agenda?”
“You have a meeting with Esai in five minutes.”
And just like that, my mood soured. No, curdled like disgusting, two-week-old milk that sat in the sun. That would have been pleasant compared to the swirly mess in my stomach. “Why?”
“It has been on your calendar for a week. He made me promise to stay in the room and keep the door open so it would be more difficult for you to attack him. Can you manage that?”
Someone was snippy.
“Did you sleep well?”
“No,” he snapped. “I’ve had visions and nightmares for the last twelve hours. It has made me grouchy, and I do not care.”
“Message received,” I said, holding up my hands in a gesture of surrender. “You’re the boss.”
“Good for you to acknowledge that,” he said. The delivery was ruined by the tiny smile that played on his lips. “Esai wishes to discuss the last mission and his belief that you are misusing him.”
“He sucks,” I whined, “and he doesn’t listen.”
“Try to avoid saying words like suck. It is not professional. What happened to your face?”
“Huh?” I asked, touching my cheeks. “Oh. I haven’t put on makeup yet.”
“You’re also flushed. Are you sick?”
“No,” I said, my face getting hot. “I promise I’ll tell you after the meeting.”
Voices beyond my door announced my appointment and Esai’s appearance. Mikael rose and escorted him inside. Esai and I had avoided each other for the better part of a month. I’d assigned him to Voss, who’d kept him out of my way by having him work on supplies. We avoided one another in the hallways and sat as far apart as possible during meetings.
While he didn’t quite have the stature of the other men in my life, being short and stocky with a mess of dyed blond hair and hard green eyes, Esai was just as menacing. He reminded me of an old-school boxer, a brawler who’d fight as often in a bar as he did in the ring. His aura, if one believed in that sort of thing, still pulsed dark with tinges of an angry red. The flush in his skin, the clenched fists, and the squared jaw told anyone who couldn’t see what I saw that he was pissed off.
I took a deep breath and tried to smile. “Good morning. Come in. Sit down. Mikael, join us.”
Esai sat down and waited for Mikael to situate himself next to him before speaking. “Will Voss sit in?”
“If he likes.” I motioned to Voss, who was hovering by the door. He shrugged and plopped down on Esai’s other side. “So.”
“So,” Esai repeated after staring at me for a long moment. I wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, but I’d gotten good at these little contests of wills. It would be a cold day in hell when I backed down first. He broke and cleared his throat. “This was yet another mission where you stepped in when you weren’t needed. I had it handled.”
Voss tensed beside him, and Mikael flinched. I
cut my head to one side by degrees and exhaled.
“We disagree. You disobeyed direct orders and approached the subjects with no prior warning.”
“I did no such thing! At no point did you prohibit us from making moves on our own.”
Jordan used to have an ever-present tick under his right eye, a reaction to the stress of the job. I used to tease him about it. As my eye pulsed, I understood his desire to throttle people. I hadn’t prohibited anyone from doing anything. What I had done was given orders on what we were all going to do later that night.
“Fine. You misinterpreted my commands to suit your needs. There was no reason for you to act without the rest of the team and without my knowledge.” I held up a hand as he opened his mouth to protest. “If you had an idea you thought was better, you could have come to me.”
“No, I couldn’t have,” he spat. “You would have brushed me off like you always do.”
.
I wanted to clench my fists, shake them at him, and vent my rage. Instead, I exhaled and placed my hands on the polished surface of my desk, palms up. I met his eyes with a steady gaze and spoke in a measured voice. “Esai, help me help you. What are you trying to accomplish that we’re not already doing? What do you want?”
“I want you to step down when Jordan gets back. He understands how things should run. He’d approve of my initiative and would have handled the police like a pro, not with your girlish flirting bullshit.”
Mikael gasped and turned toward Esai, his eyes blazing. I held up a hand to silence him.
“That ‘girlish bullshit’ convinced the police you were there for a legitimate reason. They walked away with the memory of three sorority girls and a guy friend, not an intruder and an assassin strapped to the gills with weapons. It’s called mind control, something I wouldn’t have had to use if you’d just listened.”
Voss cleared his throat. “Besides that point, Jordan is a non-issue. We don’t know if he’s coming back, and even if he does, Jasper is still the boss. What she says goes—respect that.”
“That bitch damn near blinded me, and nothing happened to her. No one reprimanded her,” he snarled.
“You roughed her up and slammed her against the wall because she wouldn’t let you into their bedroom,” I said, my temper rising by the second. “You had no right to demand to inspect anything, least of all without a female partner with you. What on Earth were you trying to accomplish?”
The Black Knights Page 4
