The other guys had fared better. Kosuke and Esai had a few small bruises each. Hernandez had an abrasion about the size of a half dollar on his forehead, and Jones and Jordan didn’t have any visible injuries.
“What a pair we make,” I said.
Mikael babbled in Russian as he took my hands in his, his eyes wide and wet.
“Don’t,” I said. “Everyone’s alive. Thank goodness we don’t have to go through traditional customs or we’d never get through. What’s the scoop?”
Esai unrolled a large map and spread it on the table. A small square in the map’s middle had been highlighted, and he drew in potential points of ingress and egress. We joined him, and they filled me in on the state of Tally’s farm. The captives were being held in a barn. They were tied up but being fed and cared for. The security of the farm was lax, just a few gunmen patrolling the perimeter for the handful of members who were staying in the house up the road.
“We’ll need five men to carry our missing people out and a sixth watching our backs. Easy enough. Bastian can drive.” Hernandez glanced up at me. “You can coordinate from the van. No disrespect, boss, but you’re in no shape to be running around, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself putting you in more danger.”
I realized that objecting would have accomplished nothing. Between Hernandez and Jordan alone, they had more experience in years than I’d been alive. I’d trusted both to run complicated operations in the past and needed to trust them now, no matter how much it chafed. I nodded.
“I’ll provide backup if needed.”
They grunted their agreement and dispersed, ready to catch a nap or relax before we had to get ready.
✽ ✽ ✽
While the majority of the group readied our supplies and packed the van, Jones helped me change the dressings on my stab wound. He fretted about potential infection, bemoaning that we didn’t have an assassin with healing abilities. Considering the gauze he peeled from my skin had fresh blood and pus on it, I didn’t disagree. The flesh was inflamed and stung like the devil. I ordered him to keep the condition of my wound a secret. Knowing my team, they would have tried to barricade me in my room if they were aware. He agreed only after I offered him an extra week of paid vacation. I took him up on his offer of helping me into my form-fitting gear gratefully.
By the time we joined the others in the garage, Bastian was itching to get on the road. He thrummed his fingers on the steering wheel, and his leg jiggled. I patted his shoulder.
“When this is all over, there is a spot in an initiation class for you,” I said.
Bastian’s jaw dropped. He reached over, grabbed my face and kissed me hard on the mouth. He whooped. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh my god. I kissed you. I’m so sorry.”
I laughed. “If only more people were as enthusiastic as you. Focus tonight, and we’ll talk more.”
“Yes, ma’am. Boss. Sir. Ah! What do I call you?”
“Jasper,” said Jordan from behind me. “We’re ready.”
I squeezed Bastian’s shoulder and commanded everyone to get into the van. As he drove, we reviewed the map and went over the plan once more. They’d pick off the security team. Once the barn was secured, Jordan and Esai would go after the people in the house and extract intel from them. We’d load up and get the hell out before anyone alerted the authorities.
I chewed on my thumbnail as I watched the team strap on their gear. It was strange to know that I was being left behind. I’d always been in the middle of the action even as Jordan’s protégé. Staying in the van was the equivalent of being benched, and I’d allowed it.
Hernandez tapped my shoulder. “We’re here.”
“Right,” I said, embarrassed that I’d zoned out again. “Let’s test the communications one last time.” I strapped on my headphones and microphone and whispered. They nodded in the affirmative, exited the van, and melted into the night. For the next several minutes, all I could hear was their breathing the occasional crunch of fallen leaves or asphalt beneath their feet.
“One down,” said Jordan.
Bastian glanced at me and mouthed, “How?”
My best guess was that Jordan snuck up from behind and neutralized the person with brute force, but without visual confirmation, I could only speculate.
Grunting, one of the team members engaged in a physical fight. I heard the familiar sounds of flesh pounding on flesh, a bone cracking loudly, and the thud of someone landing on the floor.
Esai panted. “Make that two.”
A voice called out and demanded to know what they were doing there. One of my guys broke out into a run and grappled with the cult’s security person. A gunshot rang out. My blood froze in my veins as everything went to hell. Through the headset, I heard shouting coming from the cult members as they ran toward our team. Several fights broke out at once. It was impossible to interpret what was happening.
“I have the Vespers,” said Mikael. “They are in good condition. We will make our way to the van.”
“Be careful,” I warned.
The crack of gunshots filled the air, and someone cried out in pain.
Bastian unbuckled his seatbelt and reached for the gun that had been left for him in case of an emergency. “I have to help.”
I grabbed his arm and yanked him back into his seat. “They know what they’re doing.”
“Someone was hurt.”
“They know their jobs,” I repeated.
“How can you sit here?”
“Mikael will be here with five terrified people any moment now. They know you and will look to you for assurance. I need you to keep them calm until the rest of the team returns. You’re experiencing a combination of adrenaline and blood lust. Let it go.”
He closed his eyes and tried to breathe. His entire body was rigid as if he were locking it down and beads of sweat dotted his forehead. “Okay, okay. I understand.”
Through the trees came running a pair of teenagers. A man I recognized as Roel followed, along with another man and a woman. Mikael brought up the rear of the group and ushered them toward us. Bastian jumped out of the car and let out a small cry of relief. He hugged them.
“In the van,” ordered Mikael. “Jasper, I have to go back. I’m not sure who is injured.”
“Do you need me?”
He hesitated, then nodded. I gathered my weapons and jumped onto the pavement. Mikael and I hit the ground at a dead sprint. As we came within line sight of the barn, we found Esai standing over a body, his chest heaving, and blood seeping through the arm of his jacket.
“Esai,” I called.
He waved a hand. “I’m fine. Hernandez and Jones went to help Jordan. Let’s find Kosuke.”
We made our way around the barn and found Kosuke wrestling a giant of a man to the ground. He was twice my weight and seven feet tall. It was a miracle Kosuke was still on his feet. Esai tapped my shoulder and gestured that he would circle around. He took off for the far side of the barn. When his head appeared around the corner, we approached with our weapons drawn.
“Let him go,” I called. “You’re surrounded, and you’re not bulletproof.”
The man grimaced. Kosuke used the momentary distraction to plow a fist into the man’s solar plexus. The giant doubled over, wheezing, and backed up a few steps to catch his breath. Kosuke pounced. He attacked with a flurry of well-aimed punches. The man threw his arms up to guard himself, but Kosuke was too fast and accurate.
“We can end this,” said Kosuke. “Just surrender, and we won’t hurt you.” A lie, but coming from him, it sounded almost believable.
The man grunted and produced a knife from a sheath on his hip. He lunged. Kosuke hissed through his teeth as the blade swung downward and sliced his arm. Blood flowed much too rapidly for a shallow cut. Esai and I circled around, trying to get a clear shot, but their vicious dance moved too fast for us to aim. Kosuke avoided the next few swipes of the blade until it plunged into his shoulder. He cried out and fell to his knees.
Esai let off one shot and missed. It ricocheted off the barn door and struck something inside. The giant joined Kosuke on the ground and pummeled him.
“Let him go,” I shouted.
Smiling through bloodied lips, the man placed his hands on either side of Kosuke’s head and made a quick, snapping motion. Kosuke dropped.
I pulled the trigger several times without thinking as did Esai. The man fell to the ground, still alive, although barely, and laughed. “The little man fought well,” he said, spitting out a mouthful of blood. “Too bad he wasn’t shatterproof.”
Esai glanced at me for permission. I nodded once and turned away as he shot the man between the eyes. I knelt down next to Kosuke and checked his pulse. He was dead.
✽ ✽ ✽
Jordan, Hernandez, and Jones found me kneeling over Kosuke’s body a few minutes later. I’d sent Esai to get one of the cars on the property to transport the body back to the safe house. We weren’t leaving without him, but I wouldn’t subject the already traumatized Vespers to riding with a dead body. Mikael had gone back to the van to check on everyone, leaving me alone with my prayers to beings who were no longer there.
“What happened?” asked Jones as he knelt beside me.
“Does it matter? He’s dead.” I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t fast enough. They were fighting, and I didn’t have a clear shot.”
“Don’t,” Hernandez said. “Not now. We finish the mission and get him home to his family where he belongs.”
Gulping, I nodded, took the hand that Jordan offered, and leaned into his hug. I wiped my face with my sleeve.
“Esai’s getting a vehicle to drive him back. The rest are in the van with Mikael and Bastian.”
Jones closed Kosuke’s eyes and said a short prayer to himself. “I’ll drive him back.”
“I’ll go with you,” said Jordan as he released me.
“Me too,” said Hernandez.
Esai pulled a car around the side of the barn. He popped the trunk. The men loaded Kosuke inside as gently as a newborn baby, arranging his limbs as if he were curled up to take a nap. A sob threatened to break loose, but I shoved it down. I had to, at least until we got everyone home. After a few words, Esai walked toward me and jutted his head toward the path that led to the others. We walked side-by-side in silence for several minutes.
“There was nothing you could have done,” he said. “Neither of us had a clear shot.”
I dipped my head in acknowledgment. Exhaling, I put on my best comforting and friendly face and climbed into the back of the van.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“WAKE UP,” SAID JORDAN as he unbuckled my seatbelt and prepared to heft me into his arms. “We’re at the airport, and we’ll be home in less than an hour.”
I didn’t bother to argue as he carried me down the stairs and loaded me into the waiting SUV that drove us to the Order’s headquarters. I didn’t complain either when he informed Mikael and me that our movie night was canceled. We were going straight to the medical center. When we pulled into the garage, our emergency medical team awaited us with two stretchers.
“Dammit, Jordy. Not cool,” I grumbled as he lowered me onto one of the rolling beds. “At least bring my bags.”
His lips quirked. “I don’t hear Mikael complaining.”
“Because I am not stupid,” Mikael replied. “Where is Nicholas, Milaya?”
“I, uh, forgot to call him?”
“Call him now,” Jordan growled, handing me my purse as he followed us through the labyrinth of hallways that took us the back way to the medical center. “I don’t care about your relationship issues —”
“Liar,” said Mikael under his breath.
“He’s a healer, and you need all the help you can get.”
Sighing, I dialed and was sent to voicemail. “Nick. Hi. I’m home.”
Jordan glared at me.
“I was, um, injured and will be at the medical center, so come on by. Mikael will be there too, so if you could bring us something to eat, like burgers from the dining hall, that would be divine. Thanks.” I shrank under that intense look and disconnected the call. “What? I told him where to be, and I’m hungry. You can stop hovering now. I will not die.”
Jordan rolled his eyes and followed the procession while carrying all of our bags.
Mikael and I were brought into two different cubicles in the emergency wing. The nurses helped me undress and into a hospital gown, gasping at the now-soaked bandages and colorful bruises. A few minutes later, one doctor who lived and worked at the Order came in and shook his head.
“Jasper, how many times have I told you to avoid being stabbed?”
“Twice,” I quipped. “Most of the time you tell me to avoid being punched in the face. Sorry, I messed up on that one, too.”
I saw Jordan glowering at me from the corner.
“Fine, fine. I was stabbed in the side a few days ago. We had it stitched up at home. The dressings are changed a few times a day, and I’ve put antibiotic cream on it.” I shrugged. “It’s getting worse.”
“Clearly,” he drawled as he examined the wound. “I’m afraid that we may have to take you into surgery to open this up again. We have to repair any damaged tissue and clean out any leftover debris before we close you back up again.”
“Let’s do it.”
Jordan spoke from Mikael’s side of the curtain. “Her boyfriend is a healer. Shouldn’t you wait for him?”
“I’m not willing to risk it,” said Dr. Cardoza. “We don’t know the extent of his abilities or how they might interact with the infection. Jasper, are you fine with going in now?”
“The sooner, the better,” I said, wrinkling my nose at the putrid smell of ammonia mixed with garbage emanating from the greenish pus. “He can wait for me here.”
Jordan grunted and met me in the narrow hallway as they prepared to wheel me away. He squeezed my hand. “Don’t do anything stupid like go into shock. We’ll be waiting for you.”
“We’re not going to die,” I promised. He nodded once and let us pass. Dr. Cardoza had me sign medical forms, so I wouldn’t sue him, while the nurses prepared me for surgery. I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t more scared, other than that I was supposed to be immortal and was confident that the powers that be wouldn’t let me die—or more accurately die again.
“We will give you this oxygen mask to help you breathe while you’re asleep,” said the nurse with the most beautiful brown hair I’d ever seen. I reached out to touch it, and she placed my hand down. “You’re feeling loopy because of the drugs. The anesthesia will hit in just a few moments.”
“Don’t kill me, okay? All those overgrown idiots will make a lot of fuss,” I said through a yawn. “How long is this going to—”
✽ ✽ ✽
Voices surrounded me as I drifted into consciousness. My body was heavy, and my mouth felt like I’d eaten too much cotton candy without having anything to drink. I tried to open my eyes but found them glued shut. Fatigue pinned me to the bed, so I didn’t bother to move. I was comfortable enough with a warm blanket and a soft pillow beneath my head. The voices rose.
“Jasper, please be okay,” said Nicholas. “I should have never let you leave. I knew something like this would happen.”
Jordan sighed. “Dr. Cardoza said everything went well. She will be fine.”
Nicholas blew his nose and spoke in a stuffy voice. “She’s not fine. She was stabbed and beaten.”
“I’m aware.”
“This is your fault.”
“Excuse me?” asked Jordan, his tone turning icy.
“This,” he said slowly, “is your fault. You keep talking about how you’re supposed to protect her. Where were you while she was being destroyed? What was so important that you couldn’t take care of her?”
Jordan exhaled and spoke, his voice strained. “You’re right. I failed her. I tried to get to her. There were too many of them, and… it doesn’t matter. I s
hould have been there.”
“Damn right. It’s because of you that she thinks she’s invincible. She’s got this ludicrous idea in her head that she’s stronger and more powerful than most people and she’s not. You have her convinced that she can down a grown man like nothing.”
“She is stronger than most.”
“Bullshit,” Nicholas scoffed. “She’s had some lucky breaks, but she’s not special. She can barely manage her abilities, and you’ve convinced her that she’s good enough to lead the assassins.”
My heart, the treacherous fool that had been fragmenting for months, shattered. Every rebuke, every time he lacked faith, every damn argument over the last several weeks had torn me to shreds a little at a time. She sneered and whispered ugly truths. The love had turned poisonous. There was no going back from those words. He didn’t believe in me. He didn’t trust me. He didn’t think I was worthy of my birthright, my vocation, my life.
Jordan’s voice cut through the painful monologue. “Jasper is more than qualified to lead them. Us. Stop thinking so little of her. She’s human, and she will get hurt. I know you’re scared —”
“Scared? I’m pissed off,” said Nicholas. “You keep feeding her these fantasies. I’d thought that you were selfish enough to protect her for your own safety, but you can’t even be trusted to care about your own life.”
“Think whatever you want. Jasper is more than enough. If she lacks anything, it’s self-confidence. Now I see where it comes from.”
“Screw you,” Nicholas yelled. “She’s not strong enough or fast enough. She’s not good enough, and you keep telling her otherwise. Just stop it.”
The sob that I’d been holding back escaped. “Get out,” I croaked.
“Sweetheart,” Nicholas said with relief, “you’re awake.”
“Get out,” I said again. “I heard you, every last word. You think I’m weak and pathetic.”
“Jas, honey, breathe. I don’t know what you thought you heard, but I think you’re wonderful. I’ve been worried sick about you.” He at least looked the part. His eyes were red-rimmed, and the hands that grasped mine were shaking.
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