by Robin Martin
‘I don’t know what to do,’ he said.
‘Maybe you should’ve taken more notice of those legends,’ I said. ‘Obviously someone of my limited understanding can’t help you here.’
‘Yes, so true.’
He still didn’t get sarcasm.
Just then my phone buzzed. Pulling it out of my pocket, I saw it was Jas. Oops, I’d forgotten to text her.
Where are you?
I thought for a moment and replied: Got tired and decided to go home. Soz, forgot to text you.
You should have said. How did you get home?
Walked.
At this time of night!! Are you crazy?
I looked over at my alien. It’s okay. Rion came with me.
Oh. Is he staying at yours?
A pointed although good question. If Rion couldn’t turn back into a soap bubble, where would he stay? I sent a reply: No, but nearby. Gotta go. See you Monday.
Yeah. We need to talk soon.
Jas was not happy, and it was clear she wanted explanations about why her nerdy friend left early and managed to take the hottest boy at the party—aside from Chad Everett—with her. I was starting to realise all the problems Rion would cause if he stayed around.
Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I said, ‘Okay, what now?’
Rion looked at me, his eyes filled with misery. ‘What do you mean? My life is effectively over.’
‘Well, mine isn’t. So get your smart arse into gear and start working out a solution to our problem with your supposedly superior brain. That is, if it’s still functioning.’
Tough love, perhaps, but we needed to do something soon. Well, tough anyway, but definitely no love. I was seriously annoyed with this alien. We couldn’t sit against this tree all night.
It seemed to work. He straightened up and pushed the hair from his forehead.
‘Obviously I need a place to stay,’ he said, ‘and the means to keep this body properly nourished and maintained. Perhaps your parents would let me stay in the spare room. I would certainly be a useful houseguest. I could help your mother with healthy recipes and useful cooking tips, and give her advice about those infants she teaches. Your father could certainly use my business acumen in his job, and of course I’d be invaluable to you with your homework, that is, if you could be bothered to listen to me. You usually don’t. But anyway, that would prove an acceptable temporary solution until I can find somewhere better.’
‘Hold on a minute. You’re getting ahead of yourself, buddy. What am I supposed to tell my parents about you? I can’t just turn up with some stray guy I want them to look after. You’re making a whole lot of assumptions here.’
‘Why, we’ll tell them the truth, of course. I’m sure when they understand the situation they’ll be most accommodating.’
I looked at him in disbelief. ‘You’re joking, right?’
‘I fail to see the humour in that.’
‘My parents will think you’re mad.’
‘You mean they won’t believe me?’
‘Got it in one. They’ll probably call the police, or children’s services.’
‘I am not a child,’ Rion said, looking insulted.
‘No, but you are a minor, which means being under eighteen.’
‘I’m over four thousand Earth years old,’ he said.
‘Well, you look sixteen or seventeen, and that’s what they’ll think you are. If you haven’t got a home and sound a bit loopy they might decide to check you out. If you’re lucky, you might get a nice foster family.’ I hoped I was making my point. For someone who thought he was smart, he sure didn’t get a lot of things. ‘Or maybe they’ll find a nice mental asylum for you,’ I added.
‘Perhaps I should think of a better strategy.’
‘Yeah, and while you’re thinking, let’s start moving. I need to get home.’
I went to stand up, but Rion rose quickly and reached out a hand to pull me up. I felt stiff and sore after sitting so long, and I suddenly realised how cold I was. I shivered.
He put one arm around me and pulled me close. ‘Body heat is a very effective way of maintaining core temperature,’ he said.
I knew it didn’t mean anything, but I had to admit it was very nice snuggling into Rion. I leaned my head against his shoulder and our feet started moving. In some ways Rion the boy was far superior to a bubble.
For a while neither of us said anything, which was a first, but as we got closer to home I started to worry about what to do with him. Rion might have been a genius when it came to maths. He might have knowledge of history that rivalled the information in the State Library. He might even have been able to recite the entire works of Shakespeare, something I actively discouraged after he tried to quote Hamlet from start to finish one night. But he seemed to have absolutely zero understanding of the real world and how it worked.
I couldn’t tell Mum and Dad about him, that was a certainty, at least not until I’d worked out some plausible explanation. And that could take time. Until then I had to figure out where he could stay.
When we reached my house he dropped his arm. I immediately felt cold again. I couldn’t wait to be in my own bed and for this night to be over.
‘I guess I’ll have to stay in your room tonight and talk to your parents in the morning,’ he said.
‘Are you nuts? What do you think Mum and Dad would say to that?’
He looked at me in puzzlement. ‘But, Zoe, I’ve been with you for three weeks now. It’s never been a problem before, although I hate to mention that you do snore. That’s been quite disconcerting at times.’
‘I. Do. Not. Jeez, one thing about you hasn’t changed. You’re still mega-annoying, and totally clueless about real life. You’re not some irritating little voice inside me now, you know. You’re a person, and a guy. That makes all the difference. Surely even you can see that.’
I saw a look of understanding cross his face. ‘Oh, I see. It wouldn’t be appropriate. I sometimes forget those tiresome little customs and rules you have. They’ve never applied to me before. It’s so inconvenient being human.’ He sighed and crossed his arms, looking like a poster for some teen flick or TV show. If only he was a bit more ugly, it would be so easy to dislike him.
‘Yes, not appropriate at all,’ I said. ‘But I think I have a solution, a temporary one, at least.’
I’d been looking in the direction of the shed in our yard, where we kept our boat. It needed some repairs, so Dad wouldn’t be using it any time soon. I took Rion’s hand and dragged him across the lawn.
‘You can stay in here for now and in the morning we’ll figure something out.’ I surprised myself with my own brilliance at times.
‘In that hut?’ he said. ‘It looks rather uncomfortable.’
‘Better than sleeping under a tree,’ I said unsympathetically. What did he want, five-star accommodation?
I went to the side door of the shed and reached up to the ledge for the key. As I opened the door it gave a squeak that seemed to echo in the night air. I looked around and held my breath, hoping I hadn’t wakened Mum or Dad. After a few moments, when nothing happened, I gave a sigh of relief. Stepping inside, I flicked on the light, pulled Rion in and closed the door behind us.
The boat was a small cabin cruiser with a minuscule space inside that held a couple bunks. The boat was hardly big enough for the three of us when we went out, and we’d only slept on board once or twice, but at least it would do for now. I just had to hope Dad didn’t want to clean the boat or anything.
‘Come on, climb up,’ I said to Rion.
After we’d clambered aboard, I showed him the bunks in the cabin below. He was less than impressed.
‘There’s no bedding, and I can hardly stand up in here. I’ll probably get extremely cold and hardly sleep.’
I reached under one of the bunks and pulled out a drawer. Mum had taken all the blankets to wash them, so I grabbed an old picnic rug and shoved it in his arms. ‘Welcome to the real world,’ I said.
; Chapter Eight
I was dead tired when I finally got into bed, but for once I didn’t have that little bubble inside me giving a lecture on the benefits of a good night’s sleep and the joy of a jog around the block at six in the morning. I could eat what I wanted for breakfast and not be given a breakdown on the nutritional value of muesli as opposed to Coco Pops. I wouldn’t even have to endure a nagging session about doing homework on Sunday morning rather than leaving it until half an hour before class the next day.
It was a wonderful, liberating feeling. At least it should have been. But I was worried.
What was I going to do with a 4000-year-old alien who was inhabiting the body of a sixteen-year-old boy, and who was so connected to me that we couldn’t be more than a hundred metres apart without dire consequences? How was I going to explain him to my parents, to my friends, and to anyone else who happened to come across him? Rion might look like a teenage guy, but he sure didn’t act or sound or like one.
Life sucked at the moment.
And so, despite feeling like I could’ve gone to sleep standing up, I didn’t sleep a wink—until dawn, and then I crashed.
It wasn’t until I heard the distant sound of a lawnmower that my eyes slowly opened to a room full of sunshine. For a moment I was tempted to roll over and go back to sleep. After all, it was Sunday and I’d gone to a party last night.
Sunday.
Party.
Rion.
Oh my God.
I bolted upright and grabbed my phone. It was eleven am and I was still in bed. What was happening with Rion? Had anyone discovered him yet? And why hadn’t I set an alarm?
Bouncing out of bed, I pulled on my jeans and grabbed a clean T-shirt from my drawer. Then I shoved my feet into thongs and headed for the kitchen, which, thankfully, was empty. I saw a note propped up against the microwave.
Hi darling, Dad and I just out at the markets if you get home before we do. Hope you had a nice time at Jas’s. See you soon. xx Mum
I closed my eyes and thanked all the gods in this world and the next for such luck. My parents hadn’t realised I’d come home last night. Not only would I not have to come up with an explanation for why I’d slept in my own bed and not at Jas’s, but I also had time to get Rion out of the boat.
I raced out to the backyard and went into the shed.
‘Rion,’ I called in a loud whisper. I didn’t want any nosy neighbours wondering what was happening.
No answer.
I climbed onto the boat, thinking he was still probably sleeping. Bending down and looking into the small cabin, my heart did a flip-flop. The plaid picnic blanket was neatly folded at the foot of one of the bunks but there was no one there. Rion was missing.
My first instinct was to panic. Then I remembered the distance thing between us. I felt okay, so I knew he couldn’t be that far away. Maybe he’d gone for a walk or something—a short one.
I climbed out of the boat and looked around. I saw Mr Gallagher across the street pushing his mower. I gave him a wave and hoped Rion hadn’t talked to him or anything. There was no guarantee Rion wouldn’t say something entirely stupid.
Why couldn’t he have stayed put? It was like losing a puppy; you just knew the pup would get into trouble.
I walked down the street, hoping I would see him. But I started to feel sick, so I realised I wasn’t heading in the right direction. I turned back and headed in the other direction. Same thing happened. I knew he had to be somewhere close by, so I returned to our house. I had to find him before my parents returned.
Searching the backyard with no result, I went into the house again. And there he was, sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of muesli and with a glass of water in front of him.
‘Good morning, Zoe,’ he said, and flashed me a smile as if it was the most normal thing in the world for him to be there. He was looking clean and fresh, even though he still had on the same dark T-shirt and jeans from yesterday.
‘Where were you? I looked everywhere.’ I collapsed in the chair opposite him.
‘I needed to use your bathroom, and then I decided that while I was there I might as well use your shower. I hope you don’t mind.’ He took a spoonful of muesli and chewed it thoughtfully.
I’d obviously been in such a hurry when I got up that I hadn’t noticed anyone was in my bathroom.
‘But what about my parents?’ I said. ‘Please tell me they didn’t see you.’
He put down his spoon. ‘No, of course not,’ he said. ‘I heard them leave this morning and saw their note when I came into the house, so I knew I’d have time to refresh myself and have some nourishment before they returned.’ He took another spoon of cereal and winced. ‘This isn’t quite as delicious as I’d imagined. However, I’m sure its nutritional benefits outweigh its taste.’
I let out the breath I’d been holding and resisted the urge to shake him. ‘Okay, just hurry up. It’s nearly noon and that’s when the markets finish. They could be home any minute. We’ve got to get you out of here and think of a strategy.’
‘Well, you could always say I was a boy you met at the party and I came over to see you,’ he said calmly. ‘That would be within the realms of possibility, wouldn’t it?’
‘You mean like a boyfriend or something?’
He shrugged. ‘Whatever.’
I looked at him in surprise. ‘Pardon? What did you say?’
‘I said “whatever”. Isn’t that what you say sometimes?’
‘Yeah, but you don’t talk like me, or like any normal teenager I know.’
‘No, but it did occur to me that perhaps I need to adopt the verbal patterns of a twenty-first-century adolescent if I want to avoid suspicion.’
‘Jeez, you’ve still got a long way to go. Aren’t you finished that muesli yet?’
He sighed and shoved the bowl away. ‘Yes. Somehow it just isn’t satisfying me at the moment. Do you wish to go for a walk so we can formulate a plan?’
I grabbed the bowl and put it in the sink. ‘Yes, you got it. And I hope you have some good ideas floating around in that oversized brain of yours. And I can’t say I met you at the party because they don’t know I went to one. Never mind. We’ll think of something.’
‘So,’ I said, as we sauntered down the street, ‘how long are you going to stay like this? Could you contact someone in your race and let them know what’s happened? Surely your superior race can come up with a solution.’ I couldn’t help adding that last bit.
‘Yes, someone will contact me shortly. It’s difficult for me to communicate with my people directly, although I’ll try. Once we have a human host, we believe we need to completely immerse ourselves in that life span in order to fully comprehend your species. Normally we would only be contacted directly by our people if there was some sort of crisis, which obviously this is.’
‘But that’s good,’ I said with relief. Maybe there would be a quick way out of this after all. ‘So, within the next day or two?’
Rion looked at me as if I had two heads or something. ‘Of course not,’ he said. ‘Our concept of time is quite different from that of your short-lived species. If I’m lucky, someone in the upper echelons will be in touch within the next ten to fifteen years, quite soon actually.’
I stopped mid-stride and stared at him. ‘Ten to fifteen years! I can’t be stuck with you for that long.’
Rion lifted a perfect eyebrow. ‘On the contrary, it’s I who will be stuck with you. Not my ideal scenario. However, if I thought it was only a decade or so I could put up with it.’
‘You might. I couldn’t. Isn’t there anything you can do to hurry it along a bit?’
‘They probably won’t even notice what’s happened to me for a year or two.’
‘Kill me now.’
Rion sighed heavily. ‘You do have the most histrionic expressions. Look on the bright side. If I’d stayed in my original state as a superior consciousness inside you—assuming a physical, human form is something I will never do again
—we would be bonded for the remainder of your life. Although considering your diet, that could well be of short duration.’
He gave a little shrug as if it were completely irrelevant to him, and then added, ‘This way we might be free of each other by the time you’re thirty, if we’re lucky. I think I could put up with the situation for that long. After all, I imagine it would be similar to having a pet, like a dog.’
‘You know what? You may look hot, but you are, without a doubt, the most mega-annoying, seriously unlikeable, totally uncool guy I have ever known, and that’s saying something.’
I was over this. I had a good mind to walk away from Rion right then and there, and too bad about the being sick and everything. It had been bad enough when I could only hear him, but now I could see and hear him. And I had to look after him and make sure he didn’t get into trouble until I was maybe thirty. If he’d been halfway likeable perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad. But he had zero personality, and zero feelings for anyone but himself.
Maybe I was just tired, but suddenly I couldn’t handle this anymore. I turned away from him to hide the tears forming in my eyes. The last thing I wanted was to show him any weakness. It would only be something else he could feel superior about. For a moment I couldn’t speak because if I did I might say or do something stupid.
‘You wish to turn back, Zoe? Zoe?’
I felt a sob welling up and I pushed it down.
‘You’re upset,’ he said.
Still couldn’t talk.
‘Have I upset you?’
Jeez, I thought, this alien was supposed to be smart.
I felt his hand on my arm and he turned me around to face him. He looked puzzled. ‘You’re about to cry. What have I done or said?’
‘What the hell do you think, alien? You insult me with every second word. You think I’m stupid, that I’m not going to live long, and you never stop for one moment to consider anyone else’s feelings but your own. That is, assuming you have any. Have you ever stopped to think what you’re doing to me, how you’ve completely ruined my life? Honestly, Rion, you’re a complete jerk.’
