by Robin Martin
‘I don’t know how you can be so dumb,’ I said.
‘If by dumb you mean that I’m unable to speak, that’s obviously not correct. If, however, you’re using it in a more colloquial sense, as in not intelligent, I might remind you that I have an IQ in excess of three times the IQ of a human genius.’
How could these words come out of a guy that looked like Johnny Depp’s son?
‘Don’t you realise that Jas is …’ I searched for a word he would understand and then used one I knew he would get. ‘She’s smitten with you.’
He stopped and looked at me. He was clearly surprised, and more than a little shaken. ‘Surely not.’
I smiled at the effect my words had had on him. ‘Why do you think she’s always hanging around you?’
‘Because she’s one of your friends and I’m always with you.’
‘It’s not me she wants to be with, Rion, it’s you. When we see her she talks to you, not me. When we were in class together today she sat next to you, not me. And when she invited you to Macca’s after school she wasn’t including me in the invitation. What more proof do you need?’
‘I think you’re jumping to conclusions. As I said, she’s just being welcoming.’ Rion was having a serious case of denial.
I shook my head. ‘Why is it so hard to believe she’s attracted to you? You know you’re good-looking. After all, that was part of the plan when you materialised, to look so hot that other boys would be jealous when you showed attention to me. Why does it surprise you that other girls are attracted to you?’
He smiled. ‘So you think I look hot.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Totally missing the point here. You know you are. But if there’s one thing you aren’t, it’s modest.’ I started to walk again.
He caught up and swung into step beside me. ‘Does it bother you?’
‘What?’
‘That Jas might like me, and I say might because I’m not convinced yet.’
‘Whether you like Jas is more to the point,’ I said, deliberately ignoring his question.
He thought for a moment and then said, ‘I don’t think that question is relevant because my people don’t regard emotions as highly as human beings do. We don’t engage in such trivialities.’
I couldn’t help snorting. ‘Well, that’s the biggest lie you’ve told so far.’
‘I hardly ever lie, except when absolutely necessary.’
I could see he was all offended like, which proved my point. ‘Come on, Rion, you do too have emotions. You’re getting all huffy and insulted now. And you’re mega-conceited about how smart you are. That’s an emotion. You’ve also shown you can be hurt. So don’t give me that rubbish about not having emotions.’
‘I never said we don’t have them, I said we don’t regard them as important. Quite honestly, dealing with human beings can be extremely frustrating and does occasionally cause one to express a mild form of pique.’
‘Oh blah, blah, blah,’ I said, feeling a tad frustrated myself.
‘Blah, blah, blah? What kind of response is that?’
‘Why don’t you just answer the question? Do you like Jas or not?’
He gave a deep sigh. ‘Since it seems to be so important to you I’ll answer. She’s acceptable. She’s friendly, I believe she’s attractive in the human sense, and she seems to appreciate my qualities.’
‘Oh God, such a typical boy response,’ I said. ‘She’s cute and she strokes your ego. Go on back to McDonald’s, if you want. Just don’t expect me to trail after you. I hope you get sick and choke on a burger.’ I walked faster to get rid of him.
He let me go and that was good. I was even more fed up with this alien now, when he was a person, than when he’d been a bossy little bubble inside me.
I was nearly home when he caught up. ‘Okay, I understand now. I know what the problem is.’
I turned to face him. ‘Oh, do enlighten me.’
‘You’re jealous. I should’ve seen it before. After all, I recognised right from the beginning that you were attracted to me, although I hoped you were getting over it. And don’t,’ he said, taking a step back, ‘try to retaliate physically because that will only prove it more.’
Obviously this alien could read body language clearly enough, even if he didn’t have a clue about emotions. I was struggling to control mine.
‘I’m not jealous and I’m not attracted to you,’ I said after a few moments. ‘But you’re my responsibility and I don’t want you to get into a situation you can’t control. If you get involved with Jas, or anyone else for that matter, she’ll find out what you are. That wouldn’t be good at all.’
‘But I wouldn’t get involved with anyone, Zoe.’
‘How can you be so sure of that?’
‘Because I’m already involved with someone.’
Alarm bells started ringing inside me. How could this have happened so soon? And who had snatched Rion’s attention without me even noticing. I had to ask. ‘With who?’
‘Why you, of course.’
Chapter Twelve
For a moment I was stunned into silence. This couldn’t be happening. Rion had constantly pointed out how inferior I was compared to him and he had just said he didn’t believe in emotions. I was totally confused.
‘What do you mean?’ We were now in front of my house and I stopped to look at him.
He bent his head, and dark hair drifted over his forehead. He flicked it back with a casual gesture. His dark eyes looked into mine and I felt the smallest flutter. It was so hard to believe he was an alien at times. Especially when he didn’t speak.
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ he said.
‘Not to me it isn’t.’ I wished he would stop looking at me with that intense stare. It was unnerving.
‘We’re bonded for life, Zoe. Hopefully I won’t always have this form, but I’ll be with you until you die. There’s nothing either of us can do about that.’
‘Oh that,’ I said. Same old, same old, I thought. Why had I ever imagined it was anything else? Good to know that everything was normal—well, as normal as they could be when you were bonded to an alien for life.
He crinkled his brow. ‘What did you think I meant?’
‘Nothing,’ I answered quickly.
We walked up the path and automatically we both sat down on the front steps. I rested my back on the step behind me and put down my books.
‘I believe we need to talk about this,’ Rion said, also leaning back, copying my actions.
‘About what?’
‘Relationships. They seem to be very important to human beings, especially those who are adolescents.’
I wasn’t sure I liked where this conversation was heading. ‘Nothing to talk about as long as you stay clear of them, Rion, it just wouldn’t work out.’
‘I agree with you totally and there’s no worry about that happening with me. Your species is so inferior to my race that it would be impossible—and wholly undesirable.’
‘Gee, thanks,’ I said. Yep, I thought, totally attractive as long as he kept his mouth shut, but after that it was all downhill.
‘You’re welcome. No, I was thinking about relationships you might have. When I was part of your consciousness I was willing to accept your interest in boys, and even, as you know, help you. I need hardly add that’s why I’m in my present predicament. However, now that I have a physical form it’s more complicated.’
‘Still not getting it,’ I said.
He heaved a heavy sigh. ‘Do I have to spell it out for you, Zoe? It will be very difficult for you to have any sort of relationship with a member of the opposite sex while I’m in this present state. For one thing, we need to keep in close proximity to each other, and for another …’
‘Yes?’ An ominous feeling was coming over me.
‘It would be very uncomfortable for me. I don’t share your thoughts any more, which I must say is a relief because I was finding the thoughts of a fifteen-year-old girl tedious at times, but I do still
infer from your moods what you’re thinking. If you were to have a boyfriend at this stage I’d find it quite exhausting. All those emotional ups and downs, the constant drama … I couldn’t deal with it. Considering how young you are, I think it wise if you wait a year or two until my people have resolved the issues about my having a physical body and I can return to my previous state. After that, it will be easier. I’ve learned, over the lifetimes of the many people I have inhabited, how to put myself into deep meditation so I can have a rest from the tumultuous lives of human beings. I haven’t quite mastered that ability in this physical state. I believe that being human weakens me and my abilities.’
I sat up. ‘You’ve got to be joking. Are you telling me I can’t have a boyfriend for years because it would inconvenience you? Not happening, you selfish, self-entitled alien.’
‘No need to be offensive.’ He was starting to look huffy and oversensitive as he always did when he heard a few home truths.
‘Offensive? I haven’t even started. And what do you think you are? Every second sentence you say insults me, and my “human state”, as you call it. Now listen up. I’m going to have as many boyfriends as I want, when I want. Yes, you’ll have to keep your distance, but a hundred metres will be enough. That’s half the length of the school oval. Most houses are smaller than that. And as for my “tumultuous” emotions, get over it. You’re here to learn about human beings, so start learning. It’s not all facts and figures and dry old textbooks. No wonder your people are taking so long to work us out. Being human means having emotions, and the sooner you learn that, the quicker you’ll learn what makes us tick. Finally, I’m nearly sixteen and smarter than you in some ways. At least I know when I’ve overstepped boundaries, something you’ve never learned.’
I stood up. ‘And now I’m going to my room. I don’t want to see you or talk to you or have anything to do with you until we have to meet for dinner. Till then, leave me alone.’
I climbed the couple of steps to the front door, let myself in and didn’t bother to stop the screen door from slamming behind me.
Once I got to my room, I flung myself on the bed and burst into tears. Why I was crying I really didn’t know. Was it because I was ‘bonded’ for life to this alien, a depressing enough thought, or was it because Rion had so little regard for me? There’d been moments when I’d almost liked him, when I’d almost thought of him as human, and maybe even someone I could be friends with. But it was obvious he didn’t consider me anything other than ‘an inferior species’. Strangely, that hurt.
I stayed in my room for the rest of the afternoon, trying to distract myself by fiddling on my phone, checking Facebook and texting a couple of friends. I even did some homework, anything to distract me from thinking about aliens, specifically the one I was sharing my life with.
When it was time for dinner, I washed my face just in case there was any sign that I’d been crying, changed into a clean T-shirt and jeans since my school uniform was all wrinkled from lying down, and spritzed myself with Mum’s best perfume, just to make myself feel better.
I went to set the table, which was my usual job in the evening.
‘Hi, darling, how was your day? Where have you been all afternoon?’ Mum looked up from the books she was correcting at the end of the dining table.
Dad was in the kitchen making what smelled like lasagne. It was his turn to cook tonight, thank goodness. I took comfort from the fact that my mum would never be on Master Chef or My Kitchen Rules. Dad wasn’t much better, but his lasagne was passable. Occasionally I took a turn, mostly on weekends, and even my parents agreed I wasn’t too bad. The hopeless-in-the-kitchen gene wasn’t passed onto me.
‘I was in my room doing homework.’ I took the placemats from the sideboard and started putting them on the table. Mum shifted some of her books to make room for me.
Dad popped his head around the corner. ‘Am I hearing correctly, or has an alien inhabited my daughter’s body?’
I nearly dropped the placemat I was holding.
‘Rion must be having a good influence on you,’ Mum said, and smiled.
It was all I could do not to say a totally inappropriate word.
‘How did he go today?’ Dad asked, coming into the dining room. There was a spot of sauce on his tie and a dripping wooden spoon in his hand.
‘Fine, I guess.’
I took the spoon from him and went into the kitchen to get the cutlery. I was in no mood to talk about my alien. I dropped the spoon in the sink and took out the cutlery from the drawer. When I came back in, Rion had come downstairs and was talking to Mum and Dad, all smiles and politeness. I ignored him and carried on setting the table.
He looked over at me. ‘May I help you, Zoe?’
‘I’ve got it,’ I said, trying hard not to plonk the knives and forks down with a clatter.
During dinner Rion was Mr Perfect, schmoozing my parents with his stories of school and lying about how much he’d liked it and everyone he’d met. I said as little as possible.
‘It sounds as if you’ve settled in well,’ Mum said, looking pleased.
‘Have you thought about joining any sports teams?’ Dad asked.
I wondered how Rion, who had never caught or kicked a ball, let alone done anything resembling sport at all, would get out of that one.
He pretended to consider the question for a moment and then said, ‘I like cricket, so maybe I’ll sign up if I’m still here in the spring.’
Dad nodded, satisfied with the answer. ‘Yes, no doubt your uncle will be back by then. But since he lives near by he’ll probably keep you at the same school.’
The words ‘if I’m still here’ gave me some hope. Maybe Rion was reconsidering his options. But it was time to change the subject before Dad started to ask any more questions about Rion’s ‘uncle’.
‘Any dessert?’ I asked.
‘I made a rather nice chocolate mousse yesterday,’ Mum said.
‘On second thoughts, I’m fine thanks,’ I said, knowing better than to say yes to anything my mum had made. I’d been hoping for ice cream or something from the shop.
‘Well, since you’ve gone to the trouble of making it, of course,’ Dad said bravely.
To my surprise, Rion also said yes. Were there any lengths he wouldn’t go to in order to suck up to my parents?
‘You do realise there’s a lot of sugar in chocolate mousse?’ I couldn’t resist saying to Rion. It was the first time I’d talked to him directly during the meal.
He smiled at me. ‘I’m sure it’ll be fine, Zoe. After all, it is homemade.’
He’d have to do more than smile if he thought I was going to get over this afternoon.
‘Since when have you ever worried about sugar?’ Dad said as Mum went out to the kitchen to get the dessert.
‘I’m very health conscious, Dad. I’ve actually learnt a lot about nutrition, especially lately.’
‘Oh, from one of your teachers?’ Dad asked.
‘I guess you could say from an expert. He seems to know lot about absolutely everything, at least in his opinion.’ I had the satisfaction of seeing Rion turn red. How interesting. I didn’t know aliens could blush.
Mum came in with the dessert, and conversation stopped for a while everyone coped with chocolate mousse that resembled brown, lumpy mud. I looked at Rion and was surprised to see him enjoying it. He actually had seconds. It made me seriously question the food choices of aliens. What did they normally eat? Bugs?
After dinner I got up to clear the dishes and stack the dishwasher, another one of my nightly chores. Rion rose, too, and started to clear the table.
‘You don’t need to do that. I can manage. I’m sure you must have homework to do,’ I said.
‘Actually, I’ve completed it.’
Of course he had.
‘No need to put on an act for the parents,’ I said. ‘They’ve gone.’ Dad had drifted off to watch television and Mum had gone upstairs for a shower. I swished past him into the kit
chen.
He trailed after me, laden with the rest of the plates. ‘It’s not an act, Zoe. I’m happy to help.’
I whirled around to face him. ‘But I don’t want your help. The only thing I want is for you to be gone.’
He carefully put the plates on the counter and then turned back to me. ‘You’re still angry with me.’
‘What was your first clue?’
He started to speak and then stopped. ‘That was a rhetorical question, wasn’t it?’ he said after a moment. ‘I’m sorry to have upset you. I said some things that I now realise were hurtful. I seem to do that a lot. I’m not always diplomatic. That has been a criticism from some of my other hosts, too.’
Surprise, surprise, I thought.
‘You made some valid points. There’s much about being human that I still don’t understand. I know I said I would try to learn some of these things from you.’
‘You mean from such an ‘inferior’ being as me?’
He moved towards me and put his hands on my arms. Looking down at me, he said, ‘I shouldn’t have said that. You’re right, I do overstep boundaries at times, and I can be arrogant. Perhaps I’m not as perfect as I like to think. I’m sorry, again. It seems that I make a lot of mistakes.’
I bit back the sarcastic remark that wanted to escape. I could be gracious and forgiving. ‘Okay,’ I said, ‘apology accepted.’
He dropped his hands and smiled. ‘Thank you.’
I started stacking the dishwasher and he began to pass me dishes. He was determined to help, whether I wanted it or not. For a few minutes we worked in harmony.
‘Perhaps we need to do more things together so we can understand each other better,’ he said.
‘You mean that spending every waking moment together isn’t enough?’ I said as I took the last plate and closed the door of the dishwasher.
‘We’re near each other physically, but we don’t do much together except have disagreements,’ he said, wiping down the kitchen bench.
I started the machine and then took a paper towel to wipe up some spots of sauce that were still on the floor. Dad was not a neat chef. Straightening up, I threw the paper towel in the bin. Maybe Rion had a point. Even I was getting tired of arguing.
