by Jenn Nixon
“And if I don’t stop?”
“I’m sure Rune will,” she replied, smirking up at him even as his other hand dropped. “He’s not far, and watching.”
“Yes, he is.”
“Siphon me, Zorin.” Cyndra lifted her left hand.
He frowned and clasped it.
She bit the inside of her cheek doing her best to keep her emotions locked down. The same exciting, anxious and calming sensation his energy brought returned twice as strong this time. Zorin moved closer and tugged her to him. She tightened her hold as her knees wobbled. I’m good, keep going.
Zorin shut his eyes as his hand began to quake. He absorbed all the extra heat of her firecasting, from her shoulder to her fingertips, the coolness of his siphon balancing her internal temperature. While he took her power, she sensed his energy even stronger, creating a different kind of heat inside her body, lower, greedy. She did her best to disregard it. Tried not to flash back to the lighthouse where she felt it the first time.
His fingers tightened around hers. The siphon doubled, draining the energy straight from her bones and reigniting the fire. A euphoric aura surrounded her skin. Zorin pulled her closer and eased the rising heat. The more he took the more she felt in return, creating a hypnotic cycle between them. She set her hand against his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath and gazed down at her.
When she met his bright blue eyes, she needed much more than his concerned stare or his cool, strong embrace. Cyndra needed him, for so many reasons. Yet, she knew it went further. Beyond all the sensations of the bond and his siphon, she wanted Zorin. Wanted him near, wanted his touch, wanted…more. The yearning was unique and went so deep, she didn’t know if she could deny it. Nevertheless, she had to, for Zorin’s sake. He only needed her power to survive and Cyndra had to make sure he got it.
Her fire burned his skin. Her energy made him strong. Her touch aroused him. Zorin craved it all. Directly siphoning Cyndra’s power made him forget every dilemma that infected his mind. He felt free, whole again. He didn’t know how he’d survived this long without her.
Cyndra was everything Zorin needed. Everything he wanted…when he was human.
When her hand fell to his chest, he gasped and stared down at her seeing the same desires in her eyes, which only frightened him. Keeping his distance from her didn’t help. Making her angry didn’t work. No matter what he did, they returned to this point, constantly, and the bond was no longer to blame.
Cyndra…
Don’t stop, not yet. I know you need more. She smiled as her fingers twitched.
The heat from her hand spilled into his skin. His entire body hardened. Zorin clenched his jaw when she brushed against his growing erection. Confusion filled her big eyes.
I thought— She stopped abruptly. Her gaze fell and she trembled against him.
Forgetting who he was, what he was, for one single moment, he set his hand on her hip to keep her close, enjoying every shudder he produced inside her. He dipped his mouth to her ear. “Speak your mind.”
Cyndra shook her head.
“Tell me, caster, what did you think?”
“Take what you need and end the siphon,” she whispered, sniffling softly.
Frowning, Zorin tucked his hand under her chin and tilted her head. She jerked to the side and broke out of his grasp, ending the siphon.
“Don’t fucking do that!”
“What?”
“Look at me like that, you don’t—” Cyndra’s jaw locked. She shook her head and took off in the direction of the jeep.
Zorin extended his wings, glided to the tree line, and blocked her way. “Cyndra.”
“What?”
“Will you talk to me, please?”
“Why don’t you talk, Zorin? You’re the one who looks at me like I’m a disease one minute and…no. I’m not doing this again. We need to get back.”
Zorin sighed, realized what he’d done, and scrubbed his neck. “What we want is impossible.”
Her face tightened. “Oh yeah, and what’s that?”
“You need it spelled out?” Zorin stepped closer and watched her cheeks darken.
“Yes, I do. What do we want?”
“I am not a man, Cyndra!”
“You sure felt like one to me,” she blurted and slapped both hands over her mouth. Before he processed exactly what she said, she turned red, spun, and dashed deeper into the woods, knowing he couldn’t follow through the dense, decayed trees.
Beyond tempted to chase her, catch her, and confess he wanted everything the man he used to be wanted, Zorin growled and punched the nearest tree, splintering the ghostwood into kindling. He destroyed a second and a third until the energy he’d taken from her dissipated. Feeling her inside him threatened any semblance of self-control and clarity.
Zorin, stop! Rune called from the opposite side of the clearing.
“Leave, Rune,” he spun around and snarled. “Take the jeep, take Cyndra, and go to the Southzone. Find the caster, you know how.”
No, you’re coming with us.
“I can’t.”
I’m not going to ask what happened. I have a good idea already. You’re both grown-ups. Deal with your shit and let’s go. We can’t leave those other casters out there, Zorin, and we need you.
Zorin dropped his head and rubbed his temple as he nodded. “I will glide nearby. You have my word.”
Stubborn. The both of you, Rune snapped as he walked away.
Although the caster meant well, he’d never understand Zorin’s struggle. To come across such a powerful, giving, and stunning woman such as Cyndra and deny her destroyed him. He knew it was the right thing to do. If she became strong enough to transform him back…then maybe.
Maybe.
Resigned to the fact both casters would be angry with him for quite a while, Zorin climbed a short, thick tree to get enough height to glide, thinking he had to find a way of making amends without making things worse. Food seemed the easiest. Being honest with Cyndra would be the hardest, which meant he had to acknowledge the attraction, eventually.
As he soared over the damaged forest, his thoughts turned to the land and the humans who continuously struggled to survive without casters. He, like Evie Raine, knew the planet needed casters, more than ever. Without them, it would take the Earth twice as long to heal from the scars of war. If Cyndra’s theory proved true and thousands of casters were locked in that mirror, perhaps the world would heal sooner.
Zorin had to stay focused on his tasks. Finding casters, guiding them, and with some patience and time, answers to all the other questions the Shield, Mergan, and Evie left behind.
Cyndra ignored her grumbling stomach for another hour as she guided the jeep down Route 13 cut through leading away from the coastline of the Carolinas. They still had six hours to go before reaching Georgia, unless she took the highway and cut down an hour. If they only stopped to sleep, they’d probably make it all the way to the old Florida panhandle with plenty of time to spare. Although she wasn’t keen on taking a boat to Southzone, she figured Zorin would glide over the gulf since it was only a dozen miles to the coast. Spending more time with Rune seemed the only way to keep her mind off what happened in the woods.
An hour into their morning drive and Rune had yet to ask. He must have sensed something via their bond or saw the devastation on her face when she ran back to the jeep. Grateful he didn’t prod, Cyndra glanced over at her friend and asked for the water bottle.
“Thanks,” she said, taking a quick sip and handing it back. “I was thinking we could snack on the rationbars and some fruit and push through until sunset.”
And we have until noon tomorrow to bring it to a drop-off, right?
Cyndra nodded. “Most of the Georgia coast towns have ferries, but they’re super slow. The panhandle port has a few boats that go to the SZ. I have enough dollars for tickets.”
I’ve never been there. My guardians rarely talked about it, said it never felt right, living there but di
dn’t tell me why. Probably because they don’t remember.
“Some of Silvio’s stories make more sense now that I know our memories were gone. Whenever he talked about my parents or Evie, it seemed like he was reciting a history book. ‘We lost your parents in a senseless tragedy, but they loved you very much.’ Shit like that. No real emotional attachment. He…I guess he sacrificed just as much only he didn’t remember it.” Cyndra shook her head and frowned.
How did your parents die?
“I…don’t know, he just said we lost them, why?”
Maybe they’re in the mirror.
Cyndra’s whole body flushed with heat. She gripped the steering wheel and slammed on the brakes.
Images filled her mind’s eye. The flames rose into the air and blasted over the land creating a thick, raging wall of orange and red with a tint of blue, a thousand feet high. The entire sky filled with fire. The wall expanded and scorched everything in its path. Then the brightest light she’d ever seen flashed and blinded her. When her sight reappeared, smoke rose through the air in a billowing cloud. The ground shook violently at her feet. A hand covered her eyes as an arm wrapped around her tiny body. Don’t look, firebug, don’t look.
Cyndra, what’s wrong? Rune asked when she wheezed, began coughing and shaking. He rubbed her shoulder. Open your eyes.
Tears spilled down her cheeks. She gasped and threw her arms around his back. “Fire.”
We put it out, we’re okay.
She shut her eyes, squeezing out more tears as Rune hugged tighter. When Cyndra tried to speak, she hiccupped. “I saw…”
A memory?
She nodded and gasped.
What did you see?
Fire. I saw the fire. I… Cyndra couldn’t catch her breath, what she’d seen was crazy. It couldn’t be real. Bomb.
What?
Her only response was more sobbing.
Rune tightened his hold and stroked the back of her head. You’re safe, Cyndra.
She cried for days it seemed, leaving her exhausted and barely able to move. Rune helped her into the passenger’s seat and took over driving. He drove slow and glanced over every few minutes. Unable to form the word to explain what she saw, Cyndra set her head against the support beam and shut her eyes.
The memory returned as a dream, repeating the images in her head. Silvio’s voice echoed through her ears. Don’t look, firebug, don’t look.
Cyndra awoke with a scream in her throat. Fire overtook her vision again. Both elements filled her fingertips despite her not evoking them. Zorin’s energy surrounded her like a soft cloud, easing her castingpower, but not the terror created by the dream.
“No!” She sat up and covered her face. Trying to shake the fear away, she struggled to breathe again.
“Cyndra?” Zorin called softly.
A hard gasped filled her lungs with just enough air to keep her from passing out. Where’s Rune?
“In the village, trying to trade. He thinks I…” Zorin sighed heavily. “What did you see, Cyndra?”
She didn’t move her hands, couldn’t look at him without losing the scrap of control she had. The closer he came, the thicker the comforting cloud. Cyndra wanted to scream at him. Tell him to leave. Stop easing her raw nerves, calming her enough to focus.
Zorin tugged on her right hand and pulled it from her face. He was beside her on his knee, the jeep behind him and tall grass beside her. “What did you see?”
Tears were her only reply.
He scooped her up in his arms and stood. Cyndra wrapped her arms around his neck and cried against his shoulder. Zorin carried her a few steps then sat down at set her on his lap. When he tightened his hold around her waist, Cyndra hid her face again.
It’s not true. It’s not.
Zorin gently tugged her hands away, curious and concerned. Rune said you saw a memory. What was it, Cyndra?
Fire, so much fire. She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut.
He touched his forehead to hers and the back of his hand stroked her cheek. Please, Cyndra, tell me what you saw.
“I saw the world die,” she whispered. Leaning back, Zorin cupped her chin and gazed into her eyes with the same dread she felt.
“You saw the flare?” he asked, shuddering along with her now.
Cyndra nodded and wrapped her left hand around his left wrist. “And an explosion, Zorin, a bomb. I…”
“That’s impossible,” he said, gaping at her, filling her with his cool, calming energy from one simple touch.
“I was on the island. The light blinded me. I felt the heat on my skin, the ground shake.”
Zorin shook his head. “No. A bomb in the middle of the United States?”
“My grandfather was with me, he told me not to look,” Cyndra replied, ignoring the tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. “He called me firebug. He…loved me.”
“Of course he did, Cyndra. Your grandparents sacrificed everything to save us,” Zorin said softly as his fingers caressed her chin, helping to keep her calm.
“I know.” She nodded and slowly wiped her cheeks. The strength of his hold lessened. She tensed slightly, realizing she was sitting in his lap. His jaw locked as he stared down. “I think I’m okay now.”
Zorin’s arm fell away. She instantly got to her feet. Before she had a chance to dart away, he captured her wrist and stood up, towering over her. Cyndra tried to glance up, but only shuddered instead. I want us to be friends, Cyndra.
Wanting so much more than his friendship, she tugged her hand free and stepped back to put some space between them before she met his eyes. “That’s really what you want?”
“It’s what’s best.”
“Yes or no are really the only answers to that question.”
Zorin frowned and walked to the jeep. Cyndra wasn’t in the mood to fight anymore and went toward the woods. With all the contact, their bond was plenty strong, so she didn’t expect him to say anything when she vanished behind a large ghostwood tree. She leaned against the burnt bark, caught her breath, and finished drying her face. After she did her business, she returned to the small clearing with the jeep to see Rune walking toward them from the main road with Zorin at his side.
Happy as ever, the caster swung the bag in his hand, grinning from ear to ear as he handed it to Zorin. I found a trader for a couple of my coins.
“That’s great, looks like a haul.”
“Some produce, cheese and bread, and more seed packets,” Zorin added, rifling through the bag.
And a surprise for after dinner. Rune lifted a small white paper box.
“Which we should probably push back by an hour to make up some time.” Cyndra frowned.
You’re okay, that’s all that matters.
“Agreed,” Zorin added as he rounded the jeep and jumped into the back.
Cyndra followed him, more the ready to get back on the road.
Fifteen silent minutes passed, driving down Route 13, heading to the old border of the Carolinas, marking the halfway point of their journey. Neither of them was going to bring up the topic. Cyndra wasn’t sure she was ready either, but Rune’s advice continued to rub off on her.
“I had terrible nightmares as a child,” she said softly, glancing over to Rune only. “I was always very serious and direct and I guess…thinking back on it, hyper-aware of everything around me.”
Because of what you saw?
“Probably. I had a dozen survivor’s panic attacks, like earlier, as a teenager. Things only got better for me after I settled in my new village. The further I got from Silvio, the more I felt like me.”
“He was bonded to you, Cyndra,” Zorin said softly, leaning forward between the seats. “For family, like yours, that bond happens almost immediately after birth, strengthens further when you awaken. When he shielded you and started to forget…it undoubtedly changed him. Your energy allows you to sense others. Your grandfather was distraught and didn’t know why.”
“I feel like I understand him now.
He must have been so angry when he wrote the letter, knowing what he was about to give up. What Evie was going to do…but he was there with me when it happened. The love I felt when he held me, that’s what I’m going to remember from now on,” Cyndra said, seeing her past clearly and feeling slightly better getting something off her mind. “I just wish I’d never seen it.”
You really saw a bomb exploding after the flare?
Cyndra nodded. “Just like pictures I’d seen in books.”
“The humans love their weapons,” Zorin grumbled and sat back. “We should have expected them to go to such lengths to stop the casters.”
Maybe you did? Maybe that’s why they made everyone forget?
“And if Evie’s plan stopped the flare from spreading past the darklands, maybe it contained the bomb too,” Cyndra said, chuckling tersely. “Piece by piece it’s making more sense and it really fucking sucks.”
Truth is rarely easy.
“You can say that again,” Cyndra sighed as the entire group fell into another awkward silence.
This time, she didn’t mind, and accelerated the jeep, hoping to make up some time after her breakdown. Grateful she wasn’t alone, but not up for more talking, Cyndra kept her eyes on the road, hoping Rune said something new before the drive got even weirder.
Zorin landed fifty feet from the highway restaurant Rune forced Cyndra to visit for dinner. She’d been adamant about saving their funds. Rune won out by saying he sold a rare coin he had no use for, specifically to buy them food.
Finding his own meal in the woods, Zorin walked a wide berth around the establishment and approached from the rear, searching the area for the jeep. They had a little over eighteen hours left on the rental agreement. Cyndra was likely beating herself up for delaying the trip. However, learning what she’d seen did fill in some gaps. Until meeting the casters, he’d never thought about the memories he’d lost during the week between the flare and waking up in the lighthouse. He didn’t remember a bomb. He lost more than he’d realized.
He knew another way to get even more answers, but he needed to go back to the island to make the attempt. Resigned to wait for them by the jeep, Zorin found a quiet hiding spot behind a nearby sign.
