“I thought it was just alcohol, too. And maybe back then it was.”
“I’m never answering another call from that lying bastard,” Alexei says, still fuming.
“He was desperate,” I remind him. “You can’t fathom the desperation of a heroin addict. It’s a hundred times worse than alcohol.”
“I don’t give a shit. That fucker promised his wife and kids—he promised them, Graysen. Just think how they must feel. They might not even know where he is. He could be dead in an alley somewhere. He’s got a responsibility to his wife and kids.”
“You’re right. It’s different when you have a family.”
“I just lost all respect for him. He’s never getting another dollar from me.”
I rub my palm across his back and say, “I know you’re feeling hurt and betrayed right now, but you can’t take responsibility for Joe’s actions.”
“Should I go tell his wife?” He lowers his brows in concern. “What if she doesn’t know?”
“He can’t hide a habit like this from her.”
“Yeah, but are her and the kids okay? What if they need some money?”
“You could call and ask her how things are going, see if she offers any information. But…”
“What?”
I hesitate for a second before saying, “I’m really not supposed to tell you this, so it stays between us. Joe’s wife is from a wealthy family. They’re the ones who paid for Joe’s rehab. I talked to her parents several times while he was there, they’re good people. Her father was ready to throw Joe to the wolves and take her and their kids in, but her mother wanted to give him one more chance. They’ll take care of her and the kids.”
His face relaxes. “Okay, good. I hope she leaves that miserable son of a bitch and never looks back.”
“That would be the best for her and the kids.”
He takes my hand and squeezes it. “I don’t respect any man who breaks his word to his family. I’ll never break my word to you.”
“I know.” I brush my palm over his stubbled cheek. “Hey, you should get some sleep.”
“I won’t be able to sleep.”
“Do you have coffee, then?”
“Yep, but how about if we go out for breakfast instead?”
“That sounds good.”
I start to stand up, but he tugs on my hand, pulling me down into his lap.
“Hey,” he says, nuzzling my neck.
“Hey yourself.”
“I really loved last night. I’m sorry about all this.”
“I loved it, too, and this isn’t your fault.” I kiss him softly.
“I need you to do me a favor.”
“What’s that?”
He sighs, his breath warm against my neck. “Delete Joe’s number from my phone. Even though I’m pissed as fuck, I don’t think I can bring myself to do it.”
“Of course.”
“My phone is set to block all unknown callers, so once you delete it, he won’t be able to reach me anymore.”
He sounds upset about it, but resigned.
“It’s the right thing to do,” I assure him.
“It’s not about the money.”
“I know. You know I understand.”
He nods. “If he calls again and gives me some sob story about his kids or something…”
“Just give me your phone and I’ll do it.”
He pulls his phone from his pocket and passes it to me, telling me the passcode. I type it in, pull up Joe’s number and delete it.
“Done.” I pass the phone back to him.
“What’s gonna happen to him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Statistically, what are his chances?”
“Well…the best thing that could happen to him at this point is to get arrested. Jail is the best rehab for some people. Maybe he’ll realize what he’s done to his family.”
“I wanted him to stay clean. I was hoping he’d stay clean.” Alexei shakes his head. “More than I wanted it for any of the rest of us. He’s a dad. His kids love him so much.”
I don’t say anything as he wraps both arms around me, pulling me close.
After a few moments of silence, he says, “I’m so sorry you went through that shit as a kid. No kid deserves it.”
My throat tightens, even all these years later. “You’re right.”
“I swear to you, I’ll never take another drink. I’d never do that to our kids, or to you.”
I close my eyes, trying to understand what I’m feeling—it’s trust. I believe him. Alexei has never let me down—not once. And I’m starting to think that maybe, he never will.
26
Alexei
I’m still half asleep when Graysen reaches over and wraps her hand around my morning wood.
“Mmm, morning,” I say, fully awake now.
“We have to celebrate now since you have a road trip tonight,” she says, sliding on top of me.
In a matter of seconds, she’s sitting on my cock and pulling the T-shirt she slept in up and off.
I fucking love it when we start our mornings this way. I wrap my hands around her waist, steadying her movements as she rides me slow and hard. It’s not long before she’s moaning and picking up the pace, already close to getting off.
Morning sex always makes me come harder. When she cries out in satisfaction, I hold her hips down against mine, muttering a few choice swear words as I finish. She’s she only woman I’ve ever had unprotected sex with, and fuck if it doesn’t feel about a million times better than it did with condoms.
“Happy one year,” she says, leaning down to kiss me.
“I think we should start celebrating every day I’m sober now,” I say with a grin. “Just like this.”
“That works for me.” She kisses me again before rolling off the side of the bed. “I have to go take a shower. Are you going to the early morning meeting?”
“Yeah.” I get out of bed with her. “Since I have a road trip, that’s the only one I can make, and I want my one-year chip today.”
“A year.” She grins at me, her blond curls a sexy mess and her cheeks flushed. “I’m so proud of you, Alexei.”
“Thanks. I had a good therapist at rehab.”
“You don’t say.”
“Yeah, but her ass was pretty distracting.” I wrap my arms around her warm, naked body and pull her close. “I actually had this fantasy about her, you know, and there happens to be a desk in my guest room right at this very moment.”
She hums her interest and my cock stiffens in anticipation. Spreading her out on my desk sounds like a perfect way to continue this celebration.
“I really have to get in the shower, though,” she says, groaning with disappointment. “And you do, too, if you’re gonna make that meeting.”
It all works out in the end, because I fuck her up against the wall of the shower before we wash each other—another new favorite of mine.
Hell, everything with Graysen is my favorite. And even though there are many reasons I’m staying sober, one of the biggest reasons is her. Every time she tells me something from her past that her shit father did while drunk, I’m grateful she never actually witnessed me intoxicated. I was a fun drunk, but it doesn’t matter—drunkenness triggers her apprehension and I don’t ever want to put her in a position to question my commitment to this relationship.
She hugs me extra tight as we part ways, and I miss her as soon as she walks away to catch the El Train.
I offered to buy her a car, but with traffic as bad as it is in the city, she said she wants to stick with Uber and the train. She won’t even let me drive her to work because she says morning train rides are her ritual. It’s her time to catch up on reading material for work.
I don’t mind the traffic, though. My license was suspended for six months after I was charged with the DUI, but luckily I was able to start that suspension during the months I was in rehab. I pull my new Audi SUV out of my building’s parking garage and head
for my meeting, listening to the sports talk radio station and drinking my second cup of coffee on the way to my AA meeting.
As I stand before the AA group gathered today and say, “I’m Alexei, and I’m an alcoholic,” I no longer feel ashamed of the words. I’m an alcoholic who’s been sober for an entire year. It’s my biggest accomplishment in life—more than anything I’ve achieved playing hockey.
After the meeting, I put my one-year sobriety chip in my pocket, planning to add it to my collection later. Then I head for O’Hare, where I’m flying out with the team for our game in Denver, Colorado.
The team owner, Olivier Durand, is traveling with us. He gives me a wave as he sees me approaching the group, and when he finishes his conversation with Jonah, he comes over to shake my hand.
“How are you, Alexei?”
“Doing great, how are you?”
He smiles. “Excited, to be honest. I don’t get to travel with the team often, and it’s one of my favorite things to do.”
“Listen, I never properly thanked you for what you’ve done for me, so…thank you.”
“You’ve thanked me on the ice with your stats, but I appreciate the verbal thanks as well.”
“I wouldn’t be playing hockey anymore if you hadn’t stuck your neck out for me like you did.”
His expression turns serious. “Have you thought about your future in hockey? I don’t think we’ll be able to offer you a first line spot anytime soon, but we’d love to keep you on our second line as long as you want to be here. I know you can earn more and play on a first line elsewhere, though.”
“No, I plan to stay here if you want to keep me on your roster. I’ve got plenty of money saved and I’m incredibly happy here.”
“That’s great news.” He gives me a knowing grin. “Does that decision have anything to do with the girlfriend of yours I heard about from Anton?”
“Yeah, definitely. And the team, too.”
“They’re a fantastic bunch,” he says. “The best.”
“I think going through projectile vomiting and projectile diarrhea together brought us all closer together,” I quip.
Durand throws his head back as he lets out a loud laugh. “I’ve heard some war stories about that day. Anton said he genuinely thought he was going to die.”
“I haven’t eaten Chinese food since that day, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to again.”
We’re called to board, and I take my seat next to Easy. Me, him and Kit Cooper have become a tight, solid second line. Easy’s French-Canadian, and he’s definitely the only refined gentleman in our group. Easy speaks English and French, while Kit and I speak English and profanity.
“Where’s the token?” Kit asks, looking around from his seat in front of us.
“It’s a chip,” I say, pulling my one-year sobriety chip out to show them.
“Nice,” he says, holding up his fist for a bump.
“Great job,” Easy says, looking up from his phone.
“You okay, man?”
He shakes his head. “A friend of mine from college was just in a bad car accident. It’s not looking good.”
“Oh shit, I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. He’s got a wife and kids. I’m devastated for them.”
“Anything I can do?”
“No, but thank you. I have to get my mindset on tonight’s game, but I don’t know how.”
“If you think of anything I can do, let me know.”
He nods, looking back down at his phone.
Our flight takes off and I’m still thinking about Easy’s friend. Life’s so damn unfair sometimes and unpredictable. I pull out my phone then, texting Graysen just to let her know I’m thinking of her.
Me: Just wanted to say I love you. I’m the luckiest guy in the world.
I take a photo of my one-year chip in my palm and text her that, too. She writes back immediately.
Graysen: Congrats, babe. I love you too. So much. I’ll miss you tonight.
We spend every night together unless I’m on a road trip. We always joke that hockey is my mistress. I know I’m damn lucky to still be playing at this level after my accident. I want to play for as many years as my body will allow, hopefully ending my career as one of the Chicago Blaze and with my teammates there, who are fast becoming my second family..
27
Graysen
“Dante’s girlfriend is kind of a bitch,” Mia confides as we walk toward the Blaze’s VIP area. “Everyone else is really nice, you’ll love them.”
She shifts Irina to her other hip.
“Are you sure I can’t carry something?” I ask.
“Nah, I’ve got it.”
She’s wearing her diaper bag over her shoulder, carrying Irina and keeping her pacifier close by in her hand. And of course, she looks as gorgeous and put together as always.
“It’s seriously like a daycare center in there,” she jokes. “The front office people who put together our dinner buffet added Goldfish, chicken fingers and pudding cups for all the little ones.”
“More babies?” I ask, grinning. “I volunteer my snuggling services.”
“Perfect. Ella’s in there with Lindy right now, Knox’s wife and their baby boy will be in there, and Abby will have hers and Luca’s toddler and their three older kids with her.”
“Sounds like so much fun. I love being around kids.”
“Do you want your own someday?”
I laugh. “You sound like Alexei.”
“He’s crazy about you, you know.”
“I’m crazy about him, too.”
“I knew you were the one when he stayed celibate for nine months waiting for you. Alexei used to be—” She stops herself suddenly. “Well, nevermind.”
“Oh, he told me all about it during our therapy sessions.”
“Does that bother you?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I can’t get jealous over what he did before he knew me. And, you know, practice makes perfect.”
“Ha! You got that right, girl.”
We walk into the Blaze friends and family suite, and I see what Mia meant. There’s a baby fussing and two young kids playing a game to see who can jump the highest. It has a warm, welcoming feel, though, and someone comes up to greet us right away.
“Hey, I think she’s poopy, can I get the diaper bag?” a brown-haired woman says to Mia.
Okay, maybe she wasn’t coming to greet us.
“I’ll change her,” Mia says. “Trade me.”
Mia passes Irina to her and she passes Ella to Mia.
“Hey Lindy, this is Alexei’s girlfriend Graysen. Graysen, this is Vic’s wife Lindy.”
“Oh hi!” Lindy lights up with a smile. “Make a plate and come sit with me if you want to.”
She gently bounces Irina and makes funny faces at her, and Irina gives her a huge toothless smile that just melts my heart.
The buffet is filled with delicious looking comfort food, and I fill a plate and sit down at a table near Lindy.
“How did you and Victor meet?” I ask her.
She smiles and says, “I worked in the Concessions department here at the Carson Center.”
“Oh wow, that sounds romantic.”
“As romantic as things can be when you’re covered in relish and nacho cheese sauce.” She reaches over to my plate and takes a fry. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” I push the plate closer to her. “Help yourself to anything.”
“How’d you and Alexei meet?” she asks as she takes another fry.
I furrow my brow as I think about how to explain our situation. “This is going to sound weird, but I’m actually not supposed to say. Or rather, allowed to I guess.”
“Oh.” She looks confused for a second but then says, “I get what you’re saying. You guys met at either AA or rehab.”
“Good guess.”
“What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a therapist and group leader at the Beckett Recovery Cen
ter.”
“Oh…oh! So you guys…”
I nod.
“Okay, that’s amazing.”
I open my arms. “Why don’t I take the baby so you can get some food?”
“You mean so I’ll stop eating yours?”
“No.” I laugh. “Just pass her here and go fill up a plate.”
While Lindy is busy making herself a plate of food, Mia returns with Irina and we all pass the babies around so everyone can eat and go to the bathroom before the game starts.
And when the lights go down at game time, I’m blown away. I’ve never been to a professional sporting event, and the lights and music and crowd are impressive. Even the babies are mesmerized.
“Jesus, take the wheel,” Mia mutters just as the puck drops. “Now Irina pooped.”
She leaves her seat with her daughter as Alexei hooks his stick around the puck and slides it to Victor. The players all take off down the ice, snow flying up from their skate blades.
The game is more exciting than I expected, the energy of the crowd contagious. When Alexei slides a leg over the Blaze’s bench wall and comes into the game, I grip the arm of my chair. He moves fast, going up and down the ice time and time again.
The other team scores, and there’s a collective groan in the suite and a few choice words are yelled out.
“Uncle Luca just got robbed,” a little girl cries. “Is that ref legally blind?”
It’s heartwarming and a little amusing to see how supportive the players’ families are. I hear someone saying her boyfriend will be in a mood for days if they don’t win this game.
Is Alexei like that? I’ve never asked him. I realize then, that for as well as I’ve gotten to know him over the phone, this is the first time I’ll see him right after a win or loss.
I follow his movement on the ice, watching as another player rams his shoulder into Alexei and knocks him off course.
“That wasn’t cool,” I mutter.
Alexei shoves him back, and the other player stops and pulls off his gloves, punching Alexei in the stomach.
“Oh my God.” I cover my mouth with my hand. “Why isn’t someone stopping this?”
Alexei Page 14
