He didn’t reply for a long time, and she watched him. It felt as though she was watching the sun rise over the darkest hills. The shadows on his face faded, his shoulders loosened. She swore she could see the muscles in the rest of his body ease, too. And when he looked at her, his face brighter than she’d seen in a long time, she felt that sun shining on her. Warming the coldest parts inside her, shining light on the feelings she’d shoved into the crevices of her heart, her mind.
She loved this man, who cared so deeply for his family. Who took his responsibilities seriously. Who didn’t push her for answers she didn’t have or ask her for things she couldn’t give.
A deep, crushing sadness moved over the light, even though she desperately tried to clutch it in her hands. Desperately tried to keep the darkness from creeping into her soul. What was the point of sadness when she couldn’t pinpoint the root of it? When she couldn’t express why she felt the way she did? When she only knew the sadness was different from the precious feelings she had for Tyler?
‘You’ve simplified things I’ve been complicating for a long time,’ he commented.
His words felt as warm as the hand still in hers. ‘Only if it works.’
‘I... I need time to think it through. But I think... I think I can see that there’s no danger of me becoming like my father when we’re different people. Our priorities are different.’ He ran his tongue over his teeth. ‘I want to know that Tia’s on board with any decision I make. I want us to make it as a family. There never was that with him. He decided and we had to accept that. I think that’s what hurt my mom the most.’
‘And he doesn’t even know what he lost because of that decision,’ she said. ‘That’s his punishment. A life without knowing who you and Tia have become. A life without knowing his grandchild. It was in his control to make decisions that would have changed that, but he didn’t.’ She shook her head. ‘There’s no danger of you becoming like him at all, Tyler. At the very core of it, you’re too good a man to allow that.’
* * *
‘You’re too good a man to allow that.’
The words carved themselves into his mind the moment she said them. Not because he believed them, but because she’d said them.
Brooke thought he was a good man. And even if that wasn’t true—though he’d like to believe it was—the very fact that she thought it made him want to be a good man. He would do anything and everything he could to become the man she thought he was.
It helped, of course, that she had pointed out his power in the situation. He had been so focused on his issues with his father that he hadn’t recognised that power. But now he could see the possibilities. The choices. This didn’t have to be permanent. This didn’t have to take him away from his family. He would talk to Tia and Nyle as often as he could. He’d visit them, or they’d visit him. This opportunity wouldn’t mean the end of their family.
If only he had come to that conclusion before hurting his sister.
She was disappointed that he hadn’t trusted her, she’d said.
‘Didn’t you think I’d want this for you? Did you really believe I would keep you from doing something that excites you because of my fears?’
But she was still afraid—he had seen it. He couldn’t blame her when that was the curse of what their father had done to them. Only Tia didn’t shy away from making tough decisions because of it, like he had. She faced them. Even if she had said she needed some time before she could talk to him without wanting to kick him for being so stupid.
Despite that, he was cautiously hopeful for the future. Until he thought about Brooke, about where his leaving would leave them.
He hadn’t known what to expect when he’d shown up at her door. Did he want to tell her he loved her? Tell her about what had happened with Tia? Ask her how she was feeling about everything?
It was likely a combination of all three. There was an urgency to it, too, since after today there would be no more chances to ‘accidentally’ bump into her. There would only be intentional meetings from here on out. Which was why he was here, accompanying her at the launch party.
She looked beautiful. Her green dress was loose, but skilfully arranged over her body, showing peeks of her breasts at its neckline, of her right leg through the slit. She blended in with her surroundings here at the venue, where green vines draped around wooden arches and high, steady mountains rose all around them.
They’d driven quite a distance to get there, but Brooke’s company had once been situated close by, and it was still their tradition to hold launch events here.
He could see the appeal. They’d driven up a winding road to get to the top of a hill, and the restaurant overlooked the Stellenbosch area, giving magnificent views of the mountains surrounding them. It was secluded and private, felt expensive and high class, and he understood now why he’d had to wear the tuxedo.
Although merely standing next to Brooke demanded that he be dressed equally formally. He wanted to say equally stunningly, but he didn’t think that was possible.
Her hair had been swept back, much as it had been that night at his business event, but this time, it was parted in the middle. Somehow it gave greater prominence to her face. It seemed sharper, more distinct this evening. He didn’t know if that was because she’d put on make-up or because his mind was marking every single feature.
This night felt significant, though it was too early to tell why.
He exhaled.
‘I thought I was the one who was meant to be nervous,’ Brooke said mildly at his side.
‘I’m not nervous,’ he said automatically.
She merely lifted an eyebrow. He felt as if someone had thrown a piece of him into hot oil.
No, an inner voice told him. You cannot muddle things with desire now.
‘Are you nervous?’ he asked, shifting direction. ‘You don’t seem like it.’
‘She’s never nervous,’ one of Brooke’s co-workers said, stopping in front of them. It was an older woman he’d been introduced to earlier—as Brooke’s ‘friend’—but he couldn’t recall her name now.
‘Nonsense, Sharon,’ Brooke said, waving the words off.
She winked at him. It took him a second to realise she’d used the woman’s name for his sake. He offered her a grateful smile.
‘I am nervous,’ she continued, directing her answer to Sharon. ‘I just try not to show it. My team doesn’t need their manager pacing about.’
‘See what I mean?’ Sharon said with a smile. ‘This is pretty much how she is at every launch of hers.’
‘This is only the third.’
‘In five years. That’s more than many others in your position.’
‘Sharon,’ Brooke said, waving a hand. A blush reddened her cheeks. ‘Stop!’
‘And that’s another winning characteristic: humility. If she weren’t so damn efficient, I’d probably fire her for it.’
Sharon smiled and left them alone.
Both he and Brooke stared after her for a moment, then Tyler turned to her. ‘That’s your boss?’
‘Yeah.’ She frowned. ‘I’m pretty sure I told you that.’
‘That’s not the point. The point is that she clearly thinks you’re amazing. You shouldn’t be humble. You should be basking in her praise.’
The colour flooding Brooke’s face was like a flower blooming on a spring day. Innocent, pure, beautiful. His lips were curving before he could stop them.
‘What?’ Brooke asked defensively. ‘Why are you smiling at me like that?’
‘You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.’
‘I am not embarrassed.’ But the red deepened.
He was full-out grinning now. ‘Why are you embarrassed by praise?’
‘I’m just doing my job, Tyler.’
‘Sounds like you’re doing it pretty damn well.’
‘Isn’t that how you’re meant to work?’ she demanded. ‘You’re not supposed to be mediocre. I know you don’t believe that, so why are you making me feel bad?’
‘Am I? I thought I was giving you a compliment.’
‘I...well...okay.’ She took a breath. ‘Thank you.’
He bit his lip to keep himself from smiling again. People were looking at them, and he didn’t want them to think he was deranged. He knew it was curiosity, and he’d bet anything that Brooke didn’t usually bring people to her launch parties.
Besides family, he corrected, thinking about Dom. And about what Dom told him when they’d been changing.
‘The fact that she wants you with her tonight means something. Don’t mess that up.’
A warning and a revelation in one. And that was why he wasn’t going to talk to her about anything other than the launch.
‘I’m glad you asked me to come tonight,’ he said softly. Because he couldn’t resist it, he reached out and ran the hair falling over her shoulder between his fingers. ‘I get to see you in a different light.’
‘Do you...?’ She stopped and looked away from him, but seconds later looked back.
Determination glinted in her eyes. Damn if that didn’t make him love her more.
‘Do you like what you get to see?’
‘How could I not?’
She smiled, the determination eclipsed by a warmth he was sure he didn’t deserve.
The moment didn’t last—someone wanted her attention for something—but it stayed with him the entire night.
A night he spent watching her watching those around her.
He’d never felt more content in his life.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SHE COULDN’T DESCRIBE how relieved she was that everything had gone smoothly. She might have been acting cool in front of everyone—it hadn’t been humility as much as a display of confidence for her team’s sake—but she’d been worried. This might be her third project, but it had been the most challenging. It had required all her skill and ingenuity, and that of her team, and she’d been holding her breath pretty much the entire time.
That might have been because of Tyler, too, but she wasn’t ready to think about that. As it was, she was already having a hard time with him in the car.
The drive was almost an hour long, and forty minutes had gone by with them chatting idly about the evening. Now they were quiet, which allowed her to focus on other things. Like how, despite the fact that he was wearing her brother’s tux, Tyler smelled like himself. A heady, tempting smell that made her want to curl into his side and sniff him.
Sniff him? Good heavens, she was losing her mind.
‘When we get back do you want to share some celebratory champagne?’ she asked, turning to him and surprising herself.
He looked over, smiled a gentle smile, and said, ‘I’d love to.’
How did that turn her to mush?
At least it kept her distracted until they got home.
He waited in the garden while she got the champagne and glasses, but immediately got up to help her as soon as she returned.
‘To you,’ he said, when he’d poured them each a glass.
‘To the team who made it possible.’
‘Still not able to take a compliment, huh?’ he teased, but he clinked his glass against hers and took a sip.
She didn’t answer, drank from her own glass, and enjoyed the way the bubbles felt over her tongue. Then she sighed and kicked off her shoes, putting her feet up on the chair in front of her.
‘It’s been a long eighteen months,’ she said with a sigh.
‘You’ve been working on that project for eighteen months?’
‘Yeah. Some days it feels like it was for ever. Some days it feels like it was just a few weeks.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m glad it’s over. We have to monitor for bugs and do updates, of course, but the app itself is out there and I’m relieved.’ She looked over at him. ‘I imagine this is how you’re going to feel once you get things established in London.’
With that, the air between them changed. She hadn’t meant it to, but something about the way Tyler held himself made her realise it had. She tried to think about what she’d said, but it had only been an allusion to him leaving. Why would that upset him? There had been no judgement in her tone. She’d been trying to be supportive, for heaven’s sake, even though his leaving would break her heart.
Besides, they’d spoken about it before, in the car. He hadn’t seemed upset about the situation when they’d been talking about Tia. Which made Brooke think that this was about her, which hardly seemed fair.
‘I’ve always wanted to ask why you have such an incredible garden,’ he said.
The words came out of nowhere, and Brooke had to take time to readjust. Tension crept over her. Irrationally, she wondered if that had been his intention all along. Had he known she’d done it for Kian and wanted to give her something to be upset about?
But that wasn’t possible. He didn’t know about Kian. Unless she’d told him during their time together and she couldn’t remember it. He’d said they’d never talked about anything personal. He hadn’t known she was married. So maybe not?
‘My husband was a landscape designer. We met at college and dated for a while before we got married. When we did, we were too poor to have our dream house. So he drew up this plan for our for ever home one day. I... I didn’t ever tell you?’ she asked, to be sure. ‘About my husband, I mean? When we were...during that week?’
She saw the confusion in his eyes under the garden lights around them—one of which he’d replaced—but it quickly cleared, replaced by understanding.
‘No. I didn’t know you were married. I didn’t know about your husband.’
‘Okay.’
‘You did nothing wrong,’ he added softly, and the words were almost carried away with the night breeze. ‘That week...it was friendship, Brooke. We were friends.’
‘Except we kissed,’ she scoffed. ‘And we didn’t talk about anything personal. How could that be “friendship”?’
He set his glass down, shifted so his elbows rested on his knees. ‘We talked about important things. Things we valued. You knew I cared about my family. I knew you cared about yours, too.’ He paused. ‘It was clear that something had hurt you, and you were steering clear of that. So I didn’t push, and you didn’t push me.’ He took a breath. ‘I was dealing with some stuff back then, too. My nephew was just born and my mother wasn’t there to see it. Neither was my father, for that matter.’
There was a lingering silence, but he continued.
‘We were friends, Brooke. The kiss was a...a mistake.’ He looked at her. ‘When we were together it was like the world didn’t exist. The world and our responsibilities. That night, it got to us. We had too much wine and the chemistry that had made us get along so well turned into something more. But it stopped before it started and we both... We both knew it was a mistake.’
Something about the way he’d said it made her wonder. ‘Did we?’ she asked. ‘Did we both know that?’
He took a moment to reply, but when he did, his voice was steady. ‘What do you want me to say, Brooke? That I knew it was a mistake because you pushed me away almost as soon as our lips touched? That you looked distraught and I knew that even though we were both a little tipsy we shouldn’t have done it?’
She opened her mouth, but couldn’t reply. Not with what she wanted to say, which was that she was relieved she’d responded that way. That she was relieved they’d been drinking and hadn’t been thinking like themselves.
She didn’t think she had to say it though. Tyler was studying her too intently, seeing too much. He knew her, knew versions of her that even she couldn’t remember. She had no doubt he knew what she was thinking.
‘If you want to know more about that time, Brooke, you onl
y have to ask,’ he offered. ‘I’ll tell you everything you need to know.’
‘Thank you.’
She wished she didn’t have to ask any of the questions she had, but they spilled over her lips anyway.
What had she told him? How had she been? Had he thought it strange they weren’t talking about their lives? What had he told her? And were things different now? How?
He answered each question thoroughly, patiently. And each answer did make it seem as if they had been friends. Until those last two questions, at which he paused. Looked at her.
‘I think you know the answer to those two questions.’
‘Do I?’ she asked lightly.
He turned the watch at his wrist. The action was so deliberate that she shifted. Curled her feet under her. Folded her arms.
‘Yes, things are different,’ he answered. ‘I know more about you now than I ever did then. I understand how complicated this is for you.’
‘It’s complicated for you, too.’
‘And that’s different, too. It was easy then. We only saw one another for a few hours a day. We met up, ate things we liked, then left and didn’t know anything about where the other person was. I had to trust that you were safe. That you had people around you who would keep you safe.’
‘And now?’
‘Now...’ He took a deep breath. ‘Now I need to be sure you’re safe. I want to be one of the people who keeps you that way.’
She stared. ‘Tyler—’
‘I know it’s complicated,’ he said over her interruption. ‘I know none of this is fair, and that having this conversation is only going to complicate things even more. But you asked how things are different, and the answer is this. Back then, I was enamoured, sure. I thought you were beautiful, compassionate and smart. But I was okay with being your friend.’
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