by M. A. Lee
Huffing, I wanted to throw something at him.
Standing, Lauren smiled brightly. “I love it! You look like a badass Tinker Bell,” she beamed.
Laughing, I looked at myself in the hall mirror. She did have a point, I did look pretty badass. “I’m glad you like it. I felt like I needed a change,” I said.
“Well, you can rock that look,” she said, with a smile.
It was easy to see what Isaac saw in Lauren. She was not only beautiful and smart, but she was accepting too. Not once had she ever treated me different for the way I looked. This may just be the one that steals his heart for good.
“Who are you trying to impress?” Lauren asked, as she eyed me carefully.
“What do you mean?” I asked, as I narrowed my eyes at her. Maybe I was wrong, Lauren might be a bitch.
“Well, most people get a new hair cut after a breakup or when they are trying to get someone’s attention. Who is it?” she urged.
Ok, Lauren is safe. Just clueless to what is really going on with me.
“I’m not trying to impress anyone,” I spit back.
“Good, you need to focus on figuring out your life before you can think about a guy,” Isaac said as his eyes never left the television.
Slapping his arm, Lauren chastised him for me. “Stop that Isaac. Your sister is hot as hell and guys love her. She is a fantastic artist and does have her life together.”
Isaac didn’t argue back. He never argued with Lauren.
Smiling, I felt happy that I had a new hair-cut and my brother just got put in his place by his girlfriend. Maybe this was a start to a fresh new me.
12
Smalls
I couldn’t believe that just happened.
I had a chance.
I could have told Kat the truth, that my father- a man who disowned me for not fitting the mold of his life, was a no one compared to her. I hadn’t had a relationship with him since I was ten years old and hadn’t talked to him since I was eighteen.
Seeing him sent me into a rage that I couldn’t understand or explain. His presence shouldn’t bother me the way it did, but I couldn’t help myself.
More than anything though, I was angry with myself for not telling Kat the real reason I hadn’t introduced her or told her about my family. Well, my biological family. Isaac, Cole, and Jagger were my family.
I knew that my dad would have judged Kat the same way he had judged me. He would have made her feel worthless and beneath him the way he had made my own mother feel. She too had liked art and wanted to be different. My dad, however, refused to allow her to be herself. He demanded she be the perfect housewife he imagined.
When I was sixteen-years-old, she took her own life. She just couldn’t handle living a lie. Being someone she wasn’t. It was then that I decided to be the man I wanted to be.
Tattoos and piercings didn’t define me, but it made me happy.
Just like my dad’s perception of me didn’t define me either. I refused to allow him to put Kat through that kind of pain.
Instead, my own stubbornness and stupidity and fear had caused her pain. I wasn’t any better than the man who turned away from me.
But, unlike my father, I wasn’t a quitter.
13
KAT
It had been two weeks since my fight with Smalls. We had somehow found a way to avoid one another at work. Well, I had found a way to avoid him at work. He had tried calling and texting me, but I wasn’t answering or replying. I didn’t need to be anyone’s side chick or something to be embarrassed about. I had faced enough of that growing up. I wasn’t going to let Smalls or his family judge me for being different.
“Hey, what is wrong?” Grace asked one afternoon as we sat in art class.
Our professor was giving a boring speech about Roman architecture and I was staring at the screen with a blank expression.
Shaking my head, I tried to refocus. “Sorry, I am just distracted,” I said.
“Yeah, I see that,” Grace stated with a roll of her eyes. “Are you ok?” she asked, concern lacing her sweet voice.
For a moment, I paused. I wanted to just blow off her worry and not talk about my issues, but I had no choice. Grace was my friend and I needed to vent to someone. Even though Lauren and Melanie had become my friends too, I just couldn’t share this with them.
Sighing, I decided to open up. ‘No. Honestly, I am not ok. Smalls and I were hooking up and we had a big fight. We haven’t spoken since. I just don’t know how to handle this,” I stated.
My own admission shocked myself. I never was this honest, not even with myself.
“Wow, you and Smalls? I can see that,” Grace said with a smile.
“Yeah, well it is over now.”
“Why? So what you had a fight. Couples fight,” she added.
“Well, what happened?” she asked.
“We were at dinner and Smalls dad showed up. He acted like he was mortified that I was there with him. Like being seen with me was embarrassing Smalls. We argued about it and I made him leave.”
Nodding her head, Grace seemed to understand. “Couples go through these things. You just need to find out what is going on.”
“We were not a couple,” I shot back a little too loud. A few students in front of me turned around and gave me a glare.
“If you weren’t a couple, or didn’t care about him, you wouldn’t be this upset. Just talk to him. Does your brother know?” Grace asked, her suspicion showing. “Well, what happened?” she asked.
“We were at dinner and Smalls dad showed up. He acted like he was mortified that I was there with him. Like being seen with me was embarrassing Smalls. We argued about it and I made him leave.”
Shaking my head no, I looked down. “No. I can’t tell Isaac. He would flip his shit,” I stated.
“Well, eventually he will find out. Secrets are meant to be broken. Just talk to Smalls. You two need to figure this out,” she stated before turning back in her seat and listening to the rest of the lesson.
I spent the rest of the house thinking over her words. Maybe she was right. I could talk to Smalls and figure out a way to get past this.
***
I was still trying to find a way to talk to Smalls when Cole and Melanie gave me a great opportunity. We were closing up the shop and Cole asked me and Smalls to go out to eat with him and Melanie. They were acting like a couple but not labeled as a couple. They were more complicated than me and Smalls were.
“Kat, we are going to eat. You and Smalls coming?” Cole asked.
“Sure,” Smalls and I both said in unison.
Our eyes met briefly, before we both turned away.
Thankfully, Cole and Melanie were oblivious to the awkward tension between me and Smalls. They were so wrapped up in their own little twisted love tale they couldn’t see anyone else around them.
We all walked the short distance to the campus pub down the road from the shop. We walked in and noticed it wasn’t very busy. Finding a table, Cole and Smalls sat to where Melanie and I had to sit next to each guy.
We began to order and as Smalls and I sat there, silently eyeing the other, Melanie and Cole continued to play their flirtatious games.
“Stop that,” Melanie laughed, as Cole threw a peanut at her. Cole was flirting with Melanie and she was eating it up. He had been snacking on a bowl of peanuts but instead of eating them, he was playfully throwing them at her face as she tried to ignore him. Only, I knew she was loving every minute of his games.
“I am trying to study,” Melanie said, as she threw one of the peanuts back at him.
I looked at Smalls and rolled my eyes. I needed to find a way to break the tension between us so we could talk about more serious issues later.
“They are so immature,” I laughed, as I looked at Smalls.
Nodding his head, he only offered a half smile. It might be little, but it was something.
The waitress arrived and quickly took our order.
Just as I
started to lighten up and relax, Melanie scooped up another peanut and threw it at Cole. Dodging, the peanut hit the floor behind him and Cole jumped up, throwing his fist in the air. “Two points for me,” he said.
Thankfully, we were the only ones in the small restaurant at the moment. I would hate to be seen with these two acting like this. The waitress and bartender were ignoring us, so they knew they could be rowdy.
Rolling my eyes at both Melanie and Cole, I gave them both the middle finger as I heard my phone chime, alerting me of a text. As I looked down, I noticed it was Grace.
Grace: You talk to Smalls yet?
Me: No
Grace: You are a chicken
Me: Shut the fuck up
Grace: You better talk to him soon or I will hunt him down and do it.
Me: I will kill you if you do
Grace: No you won’t. As much as you hate to admit it, you love me
Me: Love is a strong word
I smiled as I placed my phone back onto the table. I couldn’t help but feel Smalls eyes burning me as he watched me. Looking up, I tried to smile at Smalls, but he turned his head to watch someone walk through the door. This is pissing me off.
“You two should just date and get it over with,” I sneered as I was growing frustrated with everyone.
“Whatever,” Melanie said, sticking her tongue out at Cole while he unsuccessfully threw another peanut at her head.
I had to give the girl credit, she was getting bold the longer she hung out with Cole. It was easy to see that he had a positive influence on her. I wasn’t sure of Melanie’s whole story, but from the little I had gathered through Isaac and Lauren, she had a rough few years.
Brushing off my harsh remarks, Cole continued to play.
“Yeah. Mel, wouldn’t be able to handle all of this,” he joked, strutting around the side of the table to where Melanie was seated next to me.
“You two make me sick,” I stated, as I stood and made my way toward the restrooms.
I needed a break and with Smalls ignoring me, I realized my plan to talk to him may not happen.
I stopped walking and looked down at a string of texts Grace had sent, urging me to just step up and talk to Smalls. I even had one from Lauren checking on me. Apparently, she too had noticed my quiet behavior. Funny how life is sometimes. When I am a bitch, they love me. When I am quiet and stop saying sarcastic comments, they are suddenly worried.
I heard footsteps behind me, but I just assumed it was one of the waiters since the restrooms were near the back kitchen.
“Who are you talking to?” Smalls asked as he hovered over me like a tower.
Glancing up, I was startled to see him so close to me.
“What?” I asked.
“Who is making you smile on the other line?” he asked again, pointing to my phone.
“My friend Grace. She is just being silly,” I added, not wanting to tell him what I really was talking to her about.
“Ok, well, I thought maybe we could talk?” he said, his eyes locked on mine.
My heart fluttered as I felt my body relax. “Sure, I would like that,” I added.
We both turned and walked back to our table, both of our bodies feeling calmer.
Our food arrived just in time and as we all began eating, I felt Melanie grow stiff next to me. As I turned to see what had caused her to drop her food and grow pale, she rose in her seat.
“What are you doing here?” Melanie asked in an angry tone.
I placed my phone in my pocket and gave my full attention to the man who had sent Melanie into such a frenzy.
Walking over to our table, a guy gave me a full body glance.
“I heard you were slumming it.” Brody sneered. “So, hanging out with trash now?” he asked, laughing.
“Stop,” Melanie demanded and pointed to the door. “You need to leave, Brody. How did you even know where I was? She asked, nervously glancing at me.
My eyes went from Melanie, to Cole, and to the guy named Brody. I felt like I was watching a scene from a movie. Only, I had never wanted to physically hurt a character the way I wanted to hurt this Brody guy.
“Melanie, this is a public restaurant. I just came in to get something to eat and saw you here and thought I would say hello,” Brody mocked, as he began flipping through a menu he had picked up from our table. It was clear he was not interested in anything the restaurant had to offer, well anything else other than humiliating Melanie. “Anyway, I wanted to see you and talk about what happened the other night,” he added, a smile appearing on his face. “We haven’t really talked in a long time. I was going to call your apartment, but I don’t even know that number. So I called that small book place you work at and they told me you were off, but some girl said you had told her you were coming here with some friends. Maybe I could take you out to eat and we could catch up. You don’t answer my calls, and I don’t even know where you and Lauren live now.” he added, pretending like he really cared.
Something told me this guy was bad news and someone from Melanie’s past. I was holding back my rage until I fully understood what was happening before my eyes.
Slowly, Melanie stood and she held onto the table for support. I had never seen her look so angry before.
Cole’s jaw was clenched and his eyes were a fire red.
“Brody, I do not want to talk to you. We are done. There is nothing I have to say to you, so I think it is best that you just leave,” Melanie spit out at him.
The strength she had found made me smile. This was the Melanie I liked and wanted to see more of.
Reaching over the table, Brody grabbed her arm and held her tighter than he should have. “Come on Mel, don’t be such a bitch. I just want to talk,” he stated, as the frustration reflected in his tone.
Now, this guy was pissing me off. You don’t treat a woman that way and you don’t treat my friends that way.
“Back off, asshole,” I said, as I gave Brody a death glare. Even though I am petite, I could frighten even the largest and most intimidating men.
Glancing between the two of us, Brody didn’t budge or let go of my arm. Instead, he pulled Melanie closer toward him.
“Get off of me,” Melanie screamed, smacking his hand with her free arm.
It was then that I noticed the bartender and waitress starting to look up and they were unsure if they should intervene or leave us alone.
Before I knew what was happening, Brody was flying backward and suddenly crashed against the hard cement floor. He knocked over a chair and our table shook, causing our sodas to spill all over the table. Cole had appeared and was now standing over Brody, holding him down with his foot as he looked at me. I wanted to cheer and shout and urge Cole on, but that wasn’t necessary.
Brody had crossed a line by being rude to Melanie, the woman who I knew Cole was madly in love with.
“What is he doing here?” Cole asked, his eyes glaring at Brody beneath him.
“Do you know this punk with a death wish?” I asked, as I stepped closer to Cole. I was ready and willing to help my friend kick this guy’s ass.
Standing close by, Smalls just stood watching the scene as he surveyed everyone. Knowing Smalls, he was waiting for the right moment to take charge.
Seeing that everyone was on the verge of losing their shit, Melanie intervened.
“This is Brody,” Melanie said as her chest was still heaving from anger. “Cole met him the other night.”
Swiftly turning his head, Cole now looked at Brody like he wanted to kill him. His breath began to deepen as his nostrils flared. He balled up his fists. In one swift movement, he picked up Brody with one arm, and stood him upright. “Listen, you better get out of here before I kick your ass. This time I won’t stop like Mel did.” Cole hissed, pushing Brody.
Adrenaline coursed throughout my body. I loved how Cole was sticking up for Melanie. Smalls stood behind Cole, letting Brody know he was about to mess with them both. The male bartender ran over to us and began yellin
g for Brody and Cole to leave now or he would call the police
Refusing to stand down, Brody took a step forward. His face was just inches from Cole’s and he stared into his eyes. Either Brody was cockier than I remembered or just plain dumb, but either way, he was about to start something he wouldn’t be able to handle. There were two big guys here reading to take him on and he wouldn’t know what hit him if I got my hands on him.
“Sure, I will leave. But I want to talk to Melanie first,” Brody said, never taking his eyes off of Cole.
Brody was stupidly sizing Cole up. He had no idea what he was about to ask for.
“That’s not going to happen,” Cole replied, his body tense and firm.
Shaking his head in agreement, Smalls finally stepped up. “Listen, man, you need to leave or I won’t be able to stop what happens next,” he stated.
Hearing Smalls voice sent heat through me. I wanted to grab him and make love to him right then and there, but I couldn’t. I had never been more turned on in my life.
“We will see about that.” Brody mocked, as he tried to move around Cole and toward me.
“Wrong move,” Cole yelled, as he arched back and unleashed a devastating blow to Brody’s jaw. Smalls stepped aside and allowed his friend to
Brody staggered backward and fell hard against the front wall. He rubbed his jaw, clearly amused. Without warning, he lunged at Cole, and both men slammed together in mid-air. They landed on a table behind where we were sitting. The men went crashing to the floor as they continued throwing blows and screaming. The sound was almost like a bolt of thunder, it both frightened me and intrigued me.
“Stop,” Melanie screamed, as a glass went crashing to the floor.
Cole and Brody were now rolling around, throwing punches as they maneuvered around the small space. Both men had blood dripping from their noses and various cuts on their faces, but I couldn’t tell who was hurt more.
I watched in amusement as Melanie moved in and kicked at Brody’s back as he lifted his fist and attempted to punch Cole in the jaw. Smalls leaned down and landed a blow to Brody’s side.
