by M. A. Lee
I slowly took a few more steps toward the argument, as I remained in the shadows of the darkened hallway. I sucked in a breath as I managed to peek into the lit room where the band kept their instruments and prepared for their shows.
“Don’t tell me to calm down, Jamie. I don’t know how you could do this to her,” Brandon shouted again as he grabbed Jamie by the collar of his polo shirt. My heart dropped as I wanted to rush toward them and protect Jamie from Brandon’s wrath, but my feet seemed to be cemented to the ground.
Anger pouring from Jamie’s face, he grabbed hold of Brandon’s hands and shoved him away from him. I was shocked by their hostility and the look of pure hatred radiating from Brandon as he looked at Jamie. They were friends, and I had never heard them raise their voices before. I couldn’t imagine what could have transpired between them that would cause a fight.
“It only happened a few times, Leigh doesn't even have to know about her,” Jamie said, a cocky grin growing on his face. He was drunk. It was obvious by the way he staggered toward Jamie and the smug look he wore.
I felt bile rising in my throat as tears threatened to escape from my angered eyes. I couldn’t have heard Jamie correctly. What had only happened a few times? Who was the her he was referring to? What didn't I need to know? My head began to swim from the words still floating in the air and I felt a deep migraine settling in. Alcohol plus anger and confusion were not a good mix.
Stepping closer to Jamie, so that their faces were now only inches apart, Brandon glared at Jamie with so much hatred I was almost afraid of him. “Jamie, you have to tell her. Leigh doesn’t deserve this.”
Realizing I had heard and seen enough, I stepped out of the shadows and watched as both sets of eyes turned to look at me with shock.
I swear, I almost saw a smile appear on Brandon’s face when he realized it was me who had been standing and listening to their argument.
“What the hell is going on?” I shouted, taking a shaky step toward them.
“Nothing,” Jamie said, his voice quaking.
“Tell her,” Brandon said though clenched teeth.
“Drop it, man, this is none of your business. You are supposed to be my best friend.” I saw Jamie eye Brandon nervously and the look I saw on Jamie’s face wasn’t that of the man I had fallen in love with. This was someone entirely different.
“I am your friend, but I don’t let my friends destroy their lives,” Brandon said, his eyes still fixed on Jamie.
"Listen, Leigh," Jamie began. "Brandon has had too much to drink. Let's go home and we can talk later," Jamie said, as he tried to take a step toward me.
Before I could respond or ask another question, Brandon charged Jamie and threw a punch that landed squarely on Jamie's nose. The crushing impact caused Jamie to stumble and fall to the ground beneath my feet.
Screaming, I jumped back unsure of what I should do next. As I instinctively began to reach down and help Jamie, Brandon came closer and I shook with fear as I wasn’t sure what else he might do.
“Don’t help him,” Brandon seethed. “He has been cheating on you for the last few months. That is what I was trying to get him to confess. I just found out, I swear,” Brandon declared as a remorseful look appeared over his chiseled features.
My stomach dropped and I gasped, unable to comprehend what he had just said. Shaking my head, I backed away from both of them. “No,” I cried out.
“I’m sorry,” Brandon muttered.
Looking down at Jamie who was now sitting up and holding his nose, which was gushing a crimson stream of blood, I felt anger and sadness boiling deep inside of me.
“Is it true?” I asked, my voice rising with anger.
Jamie’s mouth opened and I could see his mind trying to form a lie. That was one consistent character flaw with Jamie, he could easily lie and never regret the pain he caused. All throughout our relationship I could look back on the numerous small lies he would tell, none were ever important or significant enough to end or ruin our relationship, but they were still lies. Looking back now, I realized each small lie he told, was only a building block for the more dangerous and detrimental lies he was forming.
Only shaking his head, Jamie confirmed my worst nightmare. “I’m sorry, but what did you expect me to do? I could lie to you now and tell you none of this is true. But, Leigh, you are smarter than that. You have always caught me in lies, but this was one that I was able to hide much longer than I ever imagined. I guess part of the excitement came from the fear of being caught. You refuse to have sex with me until we get married. I have needs.” Jamie said, his face trying to mock one of a wounded puppy. I couldn’t believe that he had cheated on me and to make matters worse, he was trying to place the blame on me.
“This isn’t her fault,” Brandon shouted as he noticed the wounded look on my face. “Jamie, man, I don’t even know who you are anymore,” he continued.
The world around me began to tilt and I felt as though I might lose my balance. Jamie had become tangled in his own web of lies and now, someone was finally destroying his design.
“Don’t sit there and act like you are better than me,” Jamie said as he slowly stood, his hand still cupping his bleeding nose. “I have watched for years as you bang every girl that looked your way. You screw them and then leave them, breaking their hearts along the way. Just because I hooked up with some random bitch a couple of times, doesn’t make us any different,” Jamie shouted back as he stood between Brandon and me.
“How could you?” I finally managed to say. “I loved you.” I cried.
Turning to face me, I swear I could see the shift from Jamie; the man I loved and thought I would spend the rest of my life with, and a cold-hearted stranger who was now breaking my heart into tiny pieces.
“I do love you, I really do. I just messed up. She meant nothing to me,” he pleaded as he tried to sound convincing. “I have been so stressed with work and the wedding, I guess I just got lost in it all,” he began as he pleaded with me to understand his reasons for cheating on me.
I couldn’t believe he was somehow making his evil deception seem more like a minor mistake rather than the full-blown disaster it really was.
“All of those nights you said you were working, were you with her?” I asked, my voice shaking from anger. I didn’t know who the other girl was, and honestly, I didn’t care to know. My anger was with Jamie, the man who owed me his word. She was none of my concern.
Sighing, Jamie opened his mouth but then shut it quickly. His silence told me everything I needed to know.
“We are over,” I yelled, throwing my hands into the air. I reached for my diamond engagement ring and threw it at Jamie and watched as it bounced off of his chest and onto the cement floor below.
“Hey, that was expensive!” Jamie yelled as he searched the ground for the ring. As he dropped to his knees, I realized that material item meant more to him than my heart.
Looking up at me, Jamie’s eyes were full of tears as he was suddenly playing the victim. “Leigh, if you would just calm down, we can talk about this. You are not seriously going to break off our engagement because of one little mistake? Think about everything we have been through. What will our families say?”
I wanted to scream and cry and pull my hair out and punch him again in his already bloody nose. I had gone from loving the man in front of me to hating him with a passion so strong I felt I could rock the entire world. I may not be the most beautiful girl in the world, but I knew my value was worth far more than this. I didn’t deserve to be cheated on. I didn’t deserve someone to treat me as if my thoughts and emotions didn’t matter. I didn’t deserve to be cast aside like I didn’t exist. I had way more respect for myself and I refused to remain with a man who couldn’t love me enough to respect our commitment. I let out a scream before I turned and tried to run back down the dark hallway I had just come from. I had to get out of there. I had to escape this nightmare and wake up. There was nothing left for me to say to him. In one m
inute, he had destroyed my future and left me embarrassed and helpless. The worst part was, Brandon had been there to witness the whole thing. I was sure he thought I was pathetic. As I ran, I passed Kylie who shouted my name. I didn’t stop as I continued to shove people away from me as I desperately tried to rush toward the exit.
As I pushed through the heavy metal doors leading outside, I felt a cool rush of air hit me as I struggled for air. I could hear voices yelling behind me, but I couldn’t make out the sounds. I needed to get away, to run far, far away and hide.
I ran toward the sidewalk as I realized I had ridden with Kylie. My apartment was only a few blocks away and I knew I could make it there if I just kept running.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong hands grab my arm and I spun around to see Brandon standing in front of me.
I was crying so hard now, his face was almost a blur. I tried to speak, but no words were able to escape my quivering lips.
“What happened?” Kylie yelled as Brandon tried to fight me to calm down.
The parking lot was full and I couldn’t seem to focus on anything through my tears and rage that were blinding my vision. I knew I looked like a caged wild animal as I shouted and threw my hands in the air, but I didn’t care anymore. I just couldn’t care.
“That bastard cheated on me,” I whimpered as I allowed Brandon to hold my weight up.
“What?” Kylie screamed as she followed closely behind us. “I will kill him,” she screamed looking back at the bar.
Hugging me to him, Brandon just held me as I cried into his chest. I could feel his jaw moving as he gritted his teeth in an attempt to not yell and scream at Jamie. As he led me to his car, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. This had to be a dream. This wasn’t really happening. I kept repeating the words over and over inside of my head, praying that I was wrong.
“It’s ok. I will take you home,” Brandon said as he slid me into the passenger seat of his black Honda Accord.
As I felt the car begin to move, I closed my eyes and prayed that when I reopened them, I would be somewhere else, and be someone else. Only, unfortunately for me, this was my life.
Chapter 2
“Leigh, you have to wake up,” Kylie screamed as I threw the covers over my face. After Brandon had brought me home, I had found Jamie’s stash of liquor and consumed my body’s weight as I proceeded to yell and scream and stomp around his apartment. Without anywhere to go, I had gone home, or at least the place I had once considered my home.
Kylie and Brandon had watched me with wild eyes as I allowed my anger to explode in the form of an angry toddler on a killing rampage. Thinking back to last night, I cringed as my head pounded within as if a hammer were trying to knock out the images and sounds that destroyed my life. Damn, hangovers suck.
“No,” I whined as I squirmed deeper under the covers. Flashbacks to the previous night took over as I tried to push aside my life and the reality of my situation.
***
“Leigh, you have to calm down,” Brandon said, as he watched me chug a bottle of tequila with one hand, and throw every picture frame containing photos of mine and Jamie’s smiling faces onto the tile floor of our apartment kitchen.
Kylie, who was watching the scene unfold with a wicked smile spread across her face, never uttered a word but allowed me to destroy the home I had created with Jamie.
“Why?” I slurred, as I turned to face Brandon. I was on shaky legs as the alcohol was taking its effect on my body. “My life just imploded and you expect me to calm down?” I raged as I continued throwing the glass to the ground.
Without thinking, I turned to walk away and lost my balance. Falling, I heard the crunch of broken glass under me as I felt the sharp pains shoot through my body. Thankfully, the liquor was numbing most of the physical pain; but was doing nothing for the internal pain.
Rushing to me, I felt Brandon lift me off of the ground and begin picking the pieces of broken glass out of my arms and legs. Insanely laughing, I just closed my eyes as Brandon set to work on me. I knew I was losing my mind, but I didn’t care anymore. My life was in shambles and I wasn’t sure who or what I was in that moment.
As the images and sounds around me began to grow blurry, I allowed myself to lean into his embrace, I pretended that Brandon was my knight in shining armor, rescuing me from my personal hell. Closing my eyes, I allowed the alcohol to consume me and sleep took over.
***
Now, waking to the annoying demands of Kylie, I felt the pain of my actions from last night. Everything hurt. It even hurt to breathe. My arms and legs were sore from the broken glass and I knew I was in Kylie’s bed.
“Leigh, you can’t just sleep all day in my bed. You need to get your ass up and decide what you are going to do,” Kylie hissed.
Finally sitting up, I gave in and looked over at Kylie who was now standing at the edge of her large, queen-sized bed. With her hands propped on her thin hips, she glared at me as if I were a teen in trouble with her mother.
“Damn, you look like shit,” she laughed as she took in my messy hair and makeup smeared face.
Glancing at the mirror across the room, I saw my disheveled reflection in the mirror, and I too wanted to scream at my own image.
“Well, I had a rough night,” I began as I felt tears threaten to escape. “By the way, how the hell did I end up here?” I asked, motioning around her room.
The last image I had was Brandon carrying me in Jamie’s apartment.
I felt the bed slump as Kylie sat down next to me. Placing an arm around my shoulder she pulled me in for a hug. Kylie had been my best friend since we were in sixth grade and while we were not usually the affectionate types, I appreciated her kindness. “Leigh, you passed out and Brandon and I drove you here. I know it is hard to understand, but this will all be alright. I know it may be hard to believe now, but maybe this was all for the best,” she finished.
Turning my head to face her, I gave her a curious glare. “How can you say that?” I began. “I just found out my fiancé has been cheating on me, I have nowhere to live, and I embarrassed myself in front of you and Brandon last night.”
Sighing, Kylie didn’t miss a beat before responding. “Leigh, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. That ass hat you were engaged to should be embarrassed. I know this sucks, but this might be the best thing that has ever happened to you. I love you, but when you were with Jamie, you were different. You were always so worried about making him happy that it felt like you lost part of yourself. And besides, you have a place to live,” she said.
“What?” I asked, raising my eyebrows in confusion. If she was referring to my parent’s home, she was crazy! I had worked too hard to prove my independence to go backward now.
“You will live here with me. I will take my desk out of the guest room and it will be yours.”
“Kylie, I can’t…”
Before I could finish, Kylie cut me off. “Stop. You are my best friend and you are going to live here.”
Standing, Kylie began to walk toward her bedroom door. Go take a shower and then meet me in the kitchen. I will make all of us breakfast,” she demanded.
Thinking over her words, I shoved the blankets aside and stopped. “Wait, did you say all of us?”
“Yes. You, me, and Brandon.”
“Brandon?” I asked, clearly confused. I thought after he placed me in bed last night he surely would have bolted and run away from the crazy girl he watched destroy his friend’s apartment.
“Yes, Brandon slept on the couch last night. He was so worried that you might get up and try to leave that he wanted to stay.”
This had surprised me. Of course, Brandon and I were friends, but never would I have imagined that he would stay over to ensure I was alright. Part of me wondered if he had stayed because of Kylie. I had always thought that Brandon and Kylie would make a great couple. Both were strong-willed and hot.
“Oh,” was all I managed to say.
Smiling, Kylie wave
d her hands around. Her long, red hair swayed back and forth from her rapid movements. “Don’t act so surprised,” she joked. “Brandon would do anything for you,” she said before turning and walking out of the bedroom door.
I thought about her words for a minute, but dismissed the ideas that were running rampant through my head. I was hung-over, emotionally drained, and in desperate need of a shower and strong coffee.
After a long, warm shower, I stumbled into the kitchen where I found Kylie pouring pancake batter into a skillet. I had placed my wet hair into a tight bun and wore a pair of Kylie’s Nike shorts and black tank top. I was glad she had laid them out for me. As I walked into the small space, she placed one finger to her lips as a sign for me to be quiet then motioned over to the couch where Brandon was passed out and snoring.
Slowly walking, I reached into the kitchen cabinets and began grabbing plates and glasses and then set the table.
“How long has he been sleeping?” I asked as I began to pour each of us mugs of coffee.
Not looking up from the stove, Kylie flipped the pancakes and displayed a golden brown color on each sweet pancake. “He fell asleep around four this morning. He was up all night,” she said with her back still to me.
I was glad that Kylie couldn’t see me because right then she would have seen me look at Brandon and sigh; something I instantly felt guilty for.
“I heard that,” Kylie teased as she placed the golden brown pancakes onto a large platter.
Just then, Brandon began to stir and both Kylie and I froze in place. I watched as his eyes opened and he quickly looked around the room, almost in fear when he realized he wasn’t home and in his own bed.
“Good morning,” Kylie sang cheerfully as she placed the platter on the small kitchen table where she had already set out butter, silverware, and maple syrup.
Mumbling something I didn’t understand, Brandon stood from the couch, stretched, then sauntered into the kitchen where Kylie and I were sitting down to eat. Rubbing his eyes, Brandon offered a small smile as he pulled out a chair and sat down next to me.
