“Come, baby. I want to watch you come for me. Scream my name.” His voice is strained as he pumps into me two more times. “Let loose for me, Em.”
I do as he says, my whole body jolting at his words, screaming his name over and over again as he continues in and out of me, letting me ride out the waves of the most pleasure I’ve ever felt.
My body weakens, spent from finally letting go of all this tension from the last few months.
He kisses me before pulling out, then flips me over. On all fours, he yanks my ponytail back.
“Oh God, yes,” I pant, his roughness an exciting surprise.
He pushes back into me, my knees giving out immediately at the sensation, but he catches me around the waist with one strong arm. “Fuck, that’s it…”
He pumps into me.
Wildly.
Intensely.
The heat in my core builds up again, feeling him even deeper from this angle.
Hot.
So hot.
He smacks my ass once, twice, before I scream and fall apart again. He grips my hip with his free hand more tightly and finds his own release with one more thrust and tug on my hair.
We stay silent for a moment, both facing the window to the city below us, reveling in its beauty and the tension dissipating in the room.
For months, I imagined what this would be like, although I’d never admit it.
And it was… everything.
I’ve never experienced sex like this. Overwhelmingly raw and passionate.
I gulp as my heart continues to race.
He’s the first to move, kissing the side of my head, his lips lingering there as he gently squeezes my shoulder.
I wish I wasn’t wearing this dress so I could feel his hand on my bare skin, although I wouldn’t trade the rushed intensity.
He stands up, and I pull my dress down as he grabs a warm washcloth. I blush, watching his fluid motions around the room. He’s naked, and I’m still fully clothed—on the outside, anyway. I’m still not wearing panties.
Or my armor.
I have no wall up against him to keep him out, not anymore. Not tonight.
I sit on the bed with my back against the headboard. Leaning over me, he kisses me, caressing my body like I’m a precious diamond in Vegas’s rough. In his life’s rough.
After running the soft, warm washcloth along my inner thighs, he sits on the edge of the bed, leaning down to pull his jeans up. The line of his quad on the side is visible. Defined and manly.
Sexy.
The glow from the bathroom and city lights from the window make him look otherworldly. To me, he is. A rare specimen, one I want to understand, even though I know I shouldn’t.
Even after what we just did—bared our bodies to each other—there’s so much more to him I don’t know. There’s a darkness in him I don’t know about.
With his jeans around his knees, I blurt out, “I haven’t done that in almost two years.”
He continues getting dressed, standing up to zip his pants while licking his lips and watching me. “From behind? I’ve dreamt of—”
I shake my head, and he stops mid-sentence, mid-zip, understanding dawning on him.
“Seriously?”
“Yes, and I don’t need your judgment.” I throw my feet over the side of the bed and stand, ready to storm out even though this is my room.
“Whoa, whoa. I just meant… how’s that possible? You’re… gorgeous. And you’re smart, driven, confident. You’re the whole package.”
I pause at his use of confident to describe me. I don’t think of myself as such, not like I used to, but he watches me like it’s true. Like he’s not just blowing smoke up my ass in hopes for round two.
I gulp. “I’m also mean. Bitter. Always on edge and tense. You’ve said it yourself.” I bite my bottom lip, the words tasting like escargot—unpleasant but expensive. He grimaces at the last part and opens his mouth to say something, but I stop him. I need him to know this truth about me that not many others know. “But I didn’t used to be this way, you know. I used to be happy and fun, more like Kendall in many ways. Minus the carefree recklessness that is her life.” I give Ty a small smile. He’s waiting for more, like he’s hanging on to every bread crumb I throw at him until he can piece together the way to my soul. “I was in a long relationship, and it ended… well, it wasn’t mutual, nor was it amicable. A couple rebound fucks right afterward which made me feel disgusting, for lack of a better term, and now here we are.”
“That’s why you swore off men…” he whispers, the pieces of my life coming together for him.
I want to keep on, to tell him the whole truth about Brant and the way he hurt me. To explain he’s the reason I’ve turned into this guarded version of myself. Because that’s all it is, a fragile guard to protect myself.
But I stop myself, not only because it would be highly inappropriate for this moment, but because if I unleashed it all, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from telling Ty about how he was worth coming out of hiding for.
Even if it is just for tonight.
And because my brain knows it is—that this is just one night, no matter how much my heart begs me to tell him—I shut my mouth and accept this for what it is.
Just sex.
Pure hot sex with a Vegas stripper who’s in tune with my body and made me let loose for the first time in a while.
After all, Ty’s not the kind of guy to settle down.
I fold my arms across my chest now, hoping I don’t go crawling back for more from the one guy who can’t give me more.
CHAPTER 27
Ty
Her mouth hangs open like she wants to say something else, but she doesn’t. She crosses her arms instead, like the conversation is over.
And I don’t push her. The fact she’s shared anything personal with me at all is satisfying, given all I really know about her are the things I said but nothing about her past or what made her this way.
I want to know more. I even want to know what happened with this douchebag boyfriend of hers. I don’t normally care for a pow wow after sex—or before it—but with Emma, I want to shovel all the pieces of her life into one tidy box that I keep for myself. I want to tape a “For My Eyes Only” sign to it like I did on my bedroom door as a kid.
This woman makes me crazy.
Not being good at this, I pull her in for a hug and kiss the top of her head. She stiffens like we didn’t just get X-rated in this room—like a G-rated hug is inappropriate for her.
I smile into her hair, her ponytail hanging sideways, loose strands falling to the sides of her face like it did in all my wet dreams of her.
She relaxes and hugs me back, wrapping her small arms around my waist, but the air between us shifts.
Discomfort.
Confusion.
She gives me a forced smile, then closes herself off into the bathroom.
Before she disappears, I notice the rip at the bottom of her dress.
I rub my lips, a small grin tugging at them. I just had sex with Emma.
Emma.
The girl I’ve been lusting after for months—we finally did it.
And it was better than I’d imagined. She is, in fact, a firecracker, wild and sexy.
Putting my shirt back on, I smile and stand by the bed to wait for her, a familiar urge creeping up my spine the longer I sit in silence, and not the exciting kind of urge.
My smile falls.
Her phone buzzes on the nightstand when she steps out. Swiping it up, she clears her throat before answering, wiping underneath her eyes at the smudged mascara.
It’s probably only Kendall wondering where we ran off to.
The dark urge settling in the pit of my stomach like a cement block in water makes me sick.
“I said I’ll be there in a minute,” she says into the phone as she goes into the bathroom again, the rattling of cosmetics muffling her voice. Once she reappears moments later, she’s in a different dress, a deep pu
rple one that hugs her tight curves. Her makeup is touched up like she’s ready to go, but her hair is still in disarray like maybe she’s not. She hangs up, remaining on the other side of the bed from me. “That was Kendall asking where we are.”
“Ah.” I clap my hands together and stand. Scratching the back of my head, I contemplate what this means for us, for tonight and beyond.
Her eyes are hopeful.
But her body is rigid as I pull her in for a slow kiss.
She sends mixed signals, while I’m warring with myself too.
I already want her again, but I know I shouldn’t.
I gulp before I kiss her more deeply, diving my tongue into her mouth, and she wraps her arms around my neck.
Neither of us says anything as we leave the room.
We walk down the Strip to our friends, our hands brushing but never committing to holding each other. We don’t speak much, save for a few excuse me’s as we navigate the crowd.
The longer we walk, the more she distances herself, and the more clarity I get.
What the hell am I doing?
This is Emma. She’s not some random chick I met at the show and charmed my way into her pants for an evening. I have to see Emma again. I have to see her a lot, given Sebastian is dating her best friend and roommate. And even though tonight was his last show, I plan on seeing him often.
Shit.
I open my mouth to say something—to defuse the situation somehow—but she beats me to it. “We don’t have to make a big deal about it, okay?” She shrugs, but her face still holds out hope, like she’s waiting for me to make the first move.
But my emotions are clogged in my throat. I want her. I want her so fucking bad.
But I can’t.
I’d only end up hurting her.
Her gaze jumps around, avoiding eye contact with me. Instead, she fixates on a guy with long hair playing a keyboard. I pull her arm toward the side of the bridge where tourists won’t run into us. “It was amazing. You’re amazing.”
“But?”
“I’m just worried I…” I pause. I can’t tell her why I’m worried without telling her all about my ugly past.
She sighs. “Like I said, it’s not a big deal.” She leans down to one side to fix the buckle on her heels. “We don’t even need to mention it to anyone. You’re off the hook.”
She takes off down the bridge, her ass swaying and her calves flexed in those heels. My mouth hangs open at her words. “I’m off the hook?” I mutter to myself, my stomach churning like it did when I took my driver’s test. I was so nervous I struggled to even put the car in reverse.
I was failing before I even started.
The guy on the keyboard stops playing and says something. At first, I don’t realize he’s talking to me. “You better go get your girl, brother. She’s too hot to let loose around here. It’s a jungle, man.”
He continues playing as a couple drops a few bills in his hat turned upward on the ground. Shaking my head, I know he’s right, but I’m not good at this shit.
I try to justify letting her go but fail, and her words eat at me the rest of the night.
CHAPTER 28
Emma
“I’m running a few minutes late. Took pre-workout and got halfway there before I realized I forgot my car,” Sebastian says, reading Ty’s text off his phone as I get out of the car.
I chuckle, then quickly wipe the smile off my face. I will not be humored by Ty’s stupid jokes.
I will not be or feel anything for Ty.
We make our way toward the gym like a glam squad, our sparkling bags slung over our shoulders and all. Sebastian’s hat is turned backward, and his muscles bulge out of his sleeveless shirt like he’s on his way to a bodybuilding contest.
Ty’s familiar blue Honda pulls into a parking spot close to the door, and my heart leaps in my chest as he steps out, one sneaker at a time.
A hairy shin shouldn’t be sexy.
It shouldn’t make heat flood my cheeks and spread to my entire body. The main reason I hate being pale is that I can’t hide. No matter the amount of makeup I wear, a blush on me is as visible as the sun in the sky.
In an attempt to seem indifferent, I let the door slam in Ty’s face as I enter the gym. “Oops,” I call over my shoulder, ready to sweat out all my frustration. My frustration at myself for letting my loneliness get the best of me. For wanting the human contact, even if it was from Ty of all people.
I showed weakness in Vegas by giving in to his charms and tricks. His stupid blue eyes—a stark contrast to his dark skin.
He’s delicious. Every girl’s dream, physically. Personally? He’s every nightmare.
Cocky, obnoxious, and irresistible.
Yes, irresistible to a fault. To make even sensible girls like me irresponsible.
I blame Vegas. Its sins float around the air, waiting to hit someone the minute they get a little vulnerable, and me? I was hit with lust so powerful I could no longer ignore it.
“Wake up, Em. You’re working out with the big boys today. We need your—”
I hold my hand up to stop Ty. “Save it. I don’t need a warning for the gym.”
Kendall and I warm up on the bikes in the other room, while the guys warm up with lunges. Kendall chatters—gushes, really—about Samantha Ray, a fitness influencer we follow on Instagram.
“Her new Gym Bae merchandise released this morning.” She pulls up a picture of a teal sweater with the words Gym Bae across the front. It’s actually pretty cute, but I don’t tell Kendall that. I can’t encourage her obsession with this woman.
Instead, I nod and shoot daggers toward Ty, who sticks his tongue out before he peels his shirt off. My sharp inhale occurs instinctively, but I cough in order to mask it.
Kendall cocks an eyebrow and looks between Ty and me.
I quickly point to her phone. “We need matching sweaters. The pink one’s cute.”
Her face lights up as she scrolls through her phone—worth it to distract her from what she might think is happening between Ty and me.
Truthfully, I’ve thought about our night together nonstop over the last couple of weeks, but I meant what I told him. We don’t need to make a big deal about it. It wasn’t real or serious, after all. We were just two people in Las Vegas.
Sin City.
Where even good girls like me get wrapped up in the fantasy of it all.
I haven’t told Kendall. My rebounds took what was left of my confidence after Brant, so telling her I fell into the trap that is Ty Alesana would be truly embarrassing.
Besides, if Kendall knew, we’d have to dissect every detail. Which would be excruciating… but easy. Every detail of that night is embedded into my DNA. The way he touched me, licked me, owned me.
Demanded all of me with his words, movements, and kisses.
But when we walked on the Strip afterward, I felt the shift between us. I felt his retreat, and I couldn’t take it if he rejected me.
So I beat him to it.
And he was all too eager to oblige, like the thought of us becoming something more than a one-night stand made him itch with chicken pox.
Sebastian strolls toward us, earning a few stares from a couple of girls on the Stairmaster. Of course, who wouldn’t stare? He’s my best friend’s boyfriend, but even I can admit he’s gorgeous. Tan, dark hair, and a boyish grin to make even nuns drool.
But the truly amazing thing about him, I think as he leans in to lightly kiss Kendall on the lips, is that he’s loyal and protective and takes care of Kendall the way she deserves.
“Ready to get those squats in?” he asks us, but mostly talking to Kendall.
I smile as Sebastian rests his chin in his hands on the bike in front of her. She answers, “I’m going to beat you.”
“We’ll see.”
They gaze into each other’s eyes like they’re the only ones in the room. Like they’re at the beach or having a romantic dinner instead of an old, sweaty gym, where I’ve personally se
en a few people throw up.
My heart sinks at how in love they are.
My smile falters as I turn away, embarrassed. Like I’m intruding on a nice moment. I get off the bike and walk toward the weights, ready to work out these bottled-up emotions.
But I don’t get far before Ty stops me with his curious stare.
I flip him off, but he doesn’t budge. Only barely smirks.
Ignoring him, I rack plates on the barbell to get ready for squats, thinking the whole time about Ty and the way he watched me like he figured me out.
Yeah, right.
But the more he watches me with his piercing blue eyes, the more I wonder what I’m more afraid of—whether he did or didn’t.
CHAPTER 29
Ty
I figured her out.
She wants love. Yearns for it.
She doesn’t want a fuck buddy or casual dating, but love. Romance. Togetherness.
It’s in the longing way she watched Sebastian and Kendall together.
I knew she was good and pure, but I thought I saw a different side of her. One that would let loose for the fun we could have. She just didn’t know it yet, but I misread her.
In all honesty, I saw what I wanted to see in order to justify chasing after her.
I curse myself for the hundredth time for not being stronger and staying away. I’d destroy a girl like her.
But none of these thoughts keep me from walking toward her now, to invade her personal space, and be close to her. My legs have minds of their own, and my dick? It’s the loudest, twitching more and more the closer I get to her.
I stand behind her to give her a spot, watching her in the mirror in front of us, me towering over her while she does rep after rep. The small veins in her neck appear as she finishes her tenth and re-racks the bar.
She lifts her shirt to wipe the sweat off her face, giving me a glimpse of her tight waist, a distinct line running down her abs.
Time stops.
I open my mouth to speak, but I can’t find the words through the mush that was once my brain.
Let Loose for Me Page 13
