by Krystle Rose
Owen wrinkled his brow in confusion, shaking the webs out of his brain. Nomi shoved him again, this time causing him to flounder as he rolled off the edge of her bed. He recovered quickly and sat upright again.
"What's wrong?"
"I can't believe you," she seethed.
Coming to his feet, Owen held his hands out to his sides.
"Nomi--"
"Go," she interrupted him. "Now"
He opened his mouth to speak again, but upon seeing the furious expression on Nomi's face, he changed his mind. He dropped his hands and backed toward the door slowly. She shot daggers at him through her glare and covered herself with her arms as she watched him leave.
Deciding it was smarter to just do as he was told, Owen offered no further argument and left the room. He closed the door behind him and Nomi collapsed back onto the mattress and into a fit of tears.
∞∞∞
A few days later, when she was hanging out with Tess, Nomi chose not to talk about what had happened. She was too mortified to even admit it to herself, let alone anyone else. So, she just acted like everything was normal, even though she was dying a little inside.
She had a good day spending time with Tess, at least. They got coffee and chatted, then did a little shopping in town before going to the beach for a bit. The two of them met up with Lim later and had dinner. They had planned to catch a movie but decided they were too tired and went their separate ways.
Apparently, things had gone alright with her parents, because they were letting both Tess and Lim stay at the house. Nomi had asked her friend about what happened, but she said she didn’t want to talk about it, so Nomi let it go. At least she looked content and so did her lover. That was enough for now.
Tess went home that weekend and Nomi got back to doing what she did before: work, eat, sleep, repeat. When she did laundry for Margo, Nomi would take it to the laundromat, rather than stay at the house. That way she could avoid any confrontation with Owen. As far as she could tell, he hadn't been around, but she wasn't willing to take that risk. Margo was suspicious of the change but didn't complain.
By month's end, Nomi hadn't accomplished much in way of her lists, but she chose to look on the bright side; at least she hadn't moved backward. Plus, maybe she had learned something, after all. Like not to give her trust away so easily next time and not to let her guard down around any man ever again.
"So, you gonna tell me who broke your heart this time?"
Nomi looked up at Canaan from behind her laptop. He was leaning against the door jam with his arms and ankles crossed.
"No one."
She was busy researching her business plan and didn't want to be bothered. Yet, here her annoying older brother was, bugging her anyway. Nomi looked back down at her screen.
"I thought you were done with men for a while?"
"Trust me, I am," she murmured.
"Then why do you have that sour look on your face, moping around like the world got five shades darker overnight? You only do that when you have boy troubles."
"Maybe I just realized how rotten the male species is and I'm glum at the prospect of having to switch teams."
Canaan raised a brow at her and scowled. He knew better.
"I'll give you the rotten part, but I'm not buying the whole lesbian thing."
"Please just go away."
"Fine. Owen is coming over soon anyway. We're going swimming. You should think about leaving your cave before I really start to believe you're lying."
Just hearing Owen's name made her stomach clench. Nomi tried not to wince or else her savvy older brother might figure her out. Instead, she continued to avoid eye contact and simply muttered, "Have fun."
With that, Canaan dipped back out of her room and disappeared down the hall. Nomi wondered how she was ever going to get over what happened with the person responsible still hanging around. It would hurt like hell and be harder than she would prefer, but she would manage because there was no way she was going to let anyone see her down. Especially not Owen. Which meant putting on a brave face in front of Canaan because if she showed turmoil in front of him, he was likely to tell his best friend and Nomi would be damned if Owen found out how much he had crushed her.
From the wooden desktop beside her, Nomi's phone rang. It was an unidentified number, but she answered anyway.
"Miss Phillips? This is John from Creekside Estate Apartments. Your application has been approved. Are you still interested in renting with us?"
Nomi grinned widely. Maybe things were going to turn around for her, after all.
Month 8
That old saying, ‘April showers bring May flowers’ didn’t exactly ring true in this part of California. It was still cool and rainy most days, but at least the snow had stopped and Nomi could wear short-sleeved shirts again.
She had decided long ago to stop caring about what people might think about what she wore. Nomi figured they were going to judge her no matter what, she may as well dress for herself and not to please them. In school, they’d comment on her arms when she wore tank tops or on her belly when she wore too tight of a shirt. They’d call her names whenever she wore shorts and heaven forbid any of them ever see her in a bathing suit. For a while, their words hurt, but then Nomi got so used to it that she almost stopped caring. Almost.
She was no longer a teenager and she could wear whatever she wanted. The rest of society could just deal with it. Today she had opted for an old band tee and some ankle cut plaid pants. Pairing them with high top vans and some raw crystal jewelry Jenna had made her, Nomi headed out the door to face the world feeling good.
On this glorious May morning, she was going for a long drive into Chico to sign some paperwork and tour her new apartment. She was so excited she could burst as she headed down the highway. In two short weeks, she was leaving this two-bit town behind and starting over in a city twice its size, with not a single person she knew around to drag her down. It sounded sublime.
“I can’t believe you’re moving even farther away from me. So not cool.”
“I’m sorry,” Nomi placated. “But think of it this way, when you’re ready to come back to California, you won’t have to go back to that one-horse town because neither of your best friends live there anymore.”
She still couldn't believe she'd managed to get a place on her own. With her less than impressive income and the higher than normal housing prices, Nomi never thought it could be possible. Yet, here she was on her way to sign the lease and she couldn't be happier.
No one knew Nomi was on her way out and it was better that way, for now. The only people who knew she was moving were Tess, Jenna, and Guillermo. Although she would start moving in a few weeks, she wouldn’t be leaving her job until the end of the month, so she’d still be hanging around for a little while longer. Today, she'd made an excuse for why she was going into Chico when her brother asked and jetted out the door before he could question her further.
“Ugh, it’s just not fair. You guys are doing so much better than me.”
“Yeah right. Neither Tess nor I went on to College. You’re going to surpass us in the long run.”
“Maybe in the long run, but right now it feels like I’m falling way behind.”
“Can you maybe just pretend you’re excited for me?” Nomi chuckled.
“Are you kidding? I’m ecstatic. I’m so glad you got the hell out of there. You’re going to love Chico,” Jenna told her with confidence.
“I think I already do. This place is nothing like home.”
“Damn right. That’s what’s so great about it.”
Nomi would start a new career as a shift leader at a high-end bar and grill in Chico soon. They had offered her the management position, but she had declined it. She just wanted to go back to being a server, with little authority and more tips. She planned that, after a few months, maybe a year, she’d finally have enough saved to buy her food truck. After everything was said and done today, she’d return home and break
the news to her parents. They’d be pissed that Nomi did all this behind their backs, but also impressed at her tenacity and willingness to explore other options. They would also be sad that she was leaving, but glad to get her out of the house. It would be a mix of emotions all the way around.
Canaan, on the other hand, likely wouldn’t take it so well. Nomi fully expected him to throw a hissy fit and scream at her until he was out of breath.
The two of them had never lived apart and spent very little time away from one another. They were very close. Putting an hour drive and roughly seventy-five miles of space between them was going to be a big change. BIG. Nomi was nervous to take that long of a leap, but she felt she was ready. Whether Canaan was ready was a different story, entirely.
Nomi would cross that bridge when she got to it.
“Exactly,” she concurred with her friend’s comment. “Although I think you and Tess are the only ones who truly understand my feelings on that topic.”
“You think your parents are going to freak?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t think they’ll be too happy about it.”
“As long as you’re happy about it, that’s all that matters,” Jenna pointed out.
After touring her future home at the apartment complex, Nomi drove over and had lunch at the restaurant she’d been hired at. She was impressed by what she saw. The place was run efficiently, was well kept, and seemed to have a fun work environment. She was looking forward to being a part of that and to be surrounded by these types of people. It was all very different from what she had grown up around -- which was probably why Nomi liked it so much. She couldn’t wait to start this next chapter of her life and finish off her year of discovery there, in Chico.
It wasn’t until she was leaving the restaurant to head home that she realized she didn’t have her cell phone. Nomi cursed herself and went back inside, but the employees swore they didn’t notice her having it when she came in, which meant there was only one other place it could be. Using their phone there, Nomi called over to the apartment complex and, sure enough, she’d left it on the desk in the front office. The kind property manager had put it in a drawer for safekeeping until she could return. Thanking the man profusely, Nomi promised to be right over.
It took all of fifteen minutes for her to get back to the location and, lucky for her, the manager had chosen to wait on taking his lunch break until she got back. He gave her the cell phone, told her he looked forward to having her as a resident, and bid her good afternoon. Nomi couldn’t stop thanking him as she climbed into her wagoneer.
The first thing she did was dial Jenna’s number and put it on speakerphone so that she could drive and talk at the same time. When her friend answered, Nomi excitedly told her the good news about her new place and she was, obviously, excited for her.
“I am happy.”
“You should be. This is a new beginning for you. One that could change everything. It fits right into your whole one-year plan.”
The one-year plan was more than half-way through, but it was better late than not at all to make these big changes. Smiling to herself, Nomi replied to her cohort.
“Exactly, I--”
She cut her sentence short when something caught her eye. Nomi was waiting at a light near the complex when she saw someone who looked strikingly familiar.
“Nomi? Hello? Did I lose you?”
“Owen?”
“No… Jenna.”
“Shit. Sorry, Jenna. I think I see Owen,” she explained herself.
“In Chico? Doubtful. Not unless it was a weekend, in the middle of the night, at a full-on rager,” her pal shot her down.
The light turned green and Nomi lightly pressed on the gas, slowly rolling past the person walking down the sidewalk. As soon as she saw his face. Nomi’s temperature rose twenty degrees. It was definitely Owen and she was definitely pissed that he had he was here. There was no doubt in her mind that he was there to find her. There was no other reason for him to be in Chico. plus he was walking straight towards the apartments she had just left.
Nomi turned into the nearest parking lot, threw her car into park, and yanked the keys out of the ignition.
“I’m gonna have to call you back,” she told Jenna as she disconnected and jumped out of the truck.
Stomping over to where he was, she put herself in front of Owen, effectively stopping him in his tracks. He cursed in surprise and gave her a confused expression.
“Canaan told you, didn’t he? That asshole. I’ll deal with him later, but you,” she pointed her finger in his face. “How dare you follow me here!”
“Follow you? What? No.”
"Don't play dumb. I’m not in the mood for your bull today."
"What are you-- How-- where did you-- ?" He fumbled for words.
Nomi replicated his mumbling in an exaggerated manner then scoffed and told him to piss off.
“Nomi," Owen countered.
“Save it," she interrupted. "I don’t want your excuses."
"I wasn't offering any."
"Just stay the hell away from me, okay? I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”
Nomi spun on her heels and made to leave, but his hand caught her arm and abruptly halted her escape. She reeled around to smack him, but Owen must have seen it coming because he managed to swoop up her wrist in his other hand. Holding her at arm’s length, he gave her a second to catch her breath.
She panted and eyed him angrily. He didn't move.
“First of all, you’ve made yourself abundantly clear about not wanting to see me. Avoiding me for the last few weeks left no question as to that,” Owen said sternly. “Secondly, I’m not lying. Canaan didn’t tell me anything about you coming here and I, never in a million years, would have expected to see you in Chico.”
“Oh yeah? Then what are you doing here?”
“I didn’t follow you,” he reiterated. Hitching his head toward the building ahead, he explained, “I have an appointment at the campus.”
Nomi looked behind her and saw that Chico State was no more than a quarter of a mile down the road. She knew it was there, it was why her apartment was so cheap. She just hadn't thought about the fact that Owen could be headed there.
Nomi returned her attention to Owen and exclaimed, “At CSUC?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s true,” he enforced. “I took online classes right after high school and got all of my prerequisite courses finished, but never did anything after. Now, I’m thinking maybe I’ll finish getting my degree here.”
“At CSUC,” Nomi repeated, quieter this time.
“I told you,” Owen said impatiently, “you’ve inspired me to make some changes of my own.”
She relaxed a little but kept her spine as straight as an arrow. Nomi searched his face for any hint of a lie. She wanted it to be a lie. Not because she wanted him to be stalking her, but because if what he was saying was true, then she looked like an absolute psycho for railing on him like she had.
“I’m going to let you go now. Please don’t hit me."
As he said he would, Owen released her. Next, he dug into his pocket and pulled out a folded letter. He handed it to her, then sent his thick fingers through his sandy hair. Nomi timidly opened it and when she read the letterhead, her stomach sunk. It was from the college. Withdrawing the paper from inside, she carefully read it.
We would formally like to invite you to take a tour of our campus
and meet with a counselor to discuss your future with California State University at Chico.
Gulping down the knot in her throat, Nomi put the letter back together and gave it to Owen, who then shoved it into his pocket again. Beckoning her with his eyes, he brought her attention back to his face.
"See? Not stalking you."
“You’re g-going there now?” Nomi stammered.
“Yeah,” he breathed.
“Sorry,” she told him, stepping out of
his way to allow him to go on ahead. “Be my guest.”
"Nomi…"
"Please go," her voice trembled as she begged him to leave.
Owen simply nodded and slowly walked past her. Then, he changed his mind and turned around again. Nomi froze when his eyes locked onto hers and he took two long strides to put himself in front of her once more.
With him that close, she could smell his cologne and hear the whisper of his breath in the air. It caused a stir inside her that was becoming all too familiar now and Nomi did her best to stamp it down.
"No," he said decidedly. "I have something to say to you."
Whatever he was about to say, she wasn't ready for. However, it appeared that she didn't have much choice in the matter. Plus, he deserved some grace after her attack on him. Nomi gulped and shook like a leaf before him while she waited for what was to come.
“I’m sorry as hell I upset you before,” Owen told her quietly. She floundered, but he just licked his lips and continued, “I screwed up, but I’m still learning this romance stuff."
"I don't understand," she said, blinking at him in astonishment.
He had just uttered the word ‘romance’ and everything else sort of dissolved around her after that. Nomi’s hand shook as it covered her chest in an attempt to ease her beating heart, which was currently thumping hard against her ribs.
“What happened between us that day… well, maybe you regret it, but I don’t. I only regret that I ruined it.”
The kind, forgiving part of her wanted to absolve him immediately, simply based on his words, but Nomi knew better than to do so that easily. Regardless of what Owen said or that swirling grey hue in his eyes that promised he was being truthful, she had to protect herself -- protect her heart.
Nomi wasn’t sure how to respond, so she just didn’t. But she couldn’t walk away, either. Owen took that as a opportunity to continue.
"I wish you’d give me another chance to prove to you that I’m not the man I used to be. That I want something real, something different with you.”
“With me?” she echoed.
Something different? Something real? What was she hearing right now?
