‘How’s work going?’ Celia asks me.
‘Yeah, it’s pretty good. Crazily busy though. The salon’s booked solid right up to Christmas Eve. We just have to hope no one goes off sick or we’ll be stuffed.’
‘Good thing I already made an appointment,’ Madeline says, fake-wiping her brow.
‘You never have to worry about that,’ I reassure. ‘I’ll always make sure you’re both taken care of.’
‘It’s good to have friends in high places,’ Celia jokes.
‘Talking of friends in high places,’ I say. ‘Cassie Barrington has an appointment at the salon next week.’ Even saying her name makes my body tense up.
‘Barrington?’ Celia frowns. ‘Any relation to Myra and Geoff Barrington?’
‘She’s their daughter,’ I confirm.
‘Cassie Barrington?’ Madeline sits up straighter. ‘The reality TV star? Is she really your friends’ daughter, Celia?’
I turn to Celia. ‘I didn’t know you were friends with Myra and Geoff. Cassie used to be my best friend at school, but then she landed a spot on that TV show and now she lives in London.’
‘Why did I never know about this?’ Madeline looks intrigued.
‘Because I’ve never talked about her.’
‘Geoff Barrington was an old boyfriend of mine,’ Celia says airily.
‘Ooh, Celia.’ I nudge her arm. ‘Spill the gossip.’
She tuts. ‘There is no gossip. We went out a few times, but I lost interest. Tell the truth, he was a bit of a bore.’
Madeline and I burst out laughing.
‘What?!’ Celia’s cheeks are quite pink. ‘He was. I much prefer my Malcolm.’
‘Aww.’ Madeline and I both coo over Celia’s love for her husband.
‘So, Zoe, are you going to be cutting Cassie Barrington’s hair?’ Madeline sounds impressed.
‘Yes. But I’m not sure why she’s coming to Waves. We don’t keep in touch and she doesn’t live round here anymore.’
‘Maybe she’s moving back to the area,’ Madeline suggests.
‘Maybe. I’m not looking forward to seeing her though. She’s not exactly my favourite person in the world.’
‘No? Why’s that?’ My sister-in-law leans forward. I love Madeline, but she definitely has a weakness for gossip. It’s probably her only flaw. I should never have mentioned Cassie. News of her return will be all over town by tomorrow.
‘Oh, it’s nothing. We just drifted apart.’ It was actually a lot more than just drifting apart. Back then, Cassie made it quite clear that our friendship wasn’t high on her list of priorities.
‘Maybe she wants to build bridges,’ Celia says. ‘She’s probably quite a different person now to the one she used to be when you were children.’
‘Maybe.’ I shrug. But the thought of seeing Cassie Barrington again makes me anxious. Doubly so because it will be at my place of work, where I’ll have to be professional and friendly. Apparently, when she made the appointment, she asked for me by name. I asked my boss Jennifer if Cassie could be given another stylist, but there was no one else available for that timeslot. I’m even toying with the idea of calling in sick that day, but I know when it comes to it I won’t do that – I can’t let my other clients down, or my boss.
I’m probably overreacting. Like Celia said, Cassie and I were friends a long time ago and we’re both different people now. I’m not the pushover I used to be. I’m a working woman, the wife of a councillor, and the mother to two gorgeous children. I’m respected in the community, with lots of friends and a loving family. But I don’t trust Cassie, and despite the self-assurance I’ve built up, the thought of seeing her again unsettles me.
Celia, Madeline and I agree to stop chatting for a while to make a note of our favourite canapés before the alcohol dulls our taste buds. With the savoury selections finally made, we order coffees and wait for the dessert trays to be brought out. I’m not used to eating so much at lunchtime, so I don’t know how I’m going to be able to fit any more food in. Maybe I’ll ask for a doggy bag and get Toby and the kids to help me choose the desserts.
Madeline drains the last drops of the second wine bottle into her glass. ‘Ooh, Zoe, before I forget, are you still okay to have the girls next week while Nick and I are away?’
It takes me a moment to register that my sister-in-law is talking to me. I think I’ve had a bit too much to drink. ‘Sorry, what? The girls? Yes, of course. Lucky you, having a birthday night away.’
‘I can’t wait. Beth’s grumpy about it though – she wanted to come and stay with us in a posh hotel too.’ Beth is Madeline’s eldest daughter from her previous marriage, but she’s only ever known Nick as a father. She was a toddler when Nick and Madeline got together, and Nick adopted her as his own, as her biological father was out of the picture. She’s always been a sweet child, but right now she’s more like twelve going on eighteen, and Madeline’s having a tough time with her wanting to grow up too fast.
My nine-year-old daughter Alice thinks her cousin Beth is absolutely wonderful. To be fair, Beth has always been great with Alice up until now, but I think she’s going through a stage where she finds her younger cousin a bit babyish. I’ll have to think of some activities that will interest them both.
‘Don’t worry, Mads, Toby and I will make sure she has a great time with us.’
‘Thanks, Zoe. Beth might be tricky, but Freya will be a breeze. She can’t wait.’ My youngest niece is six, the same age as my son Jamie, and the two of them adore one another.
‘Bet you and Nick are looking forward to it, too.’
‘We really are. I hope he’s going to be okay for it though. He’s a little peaky at the moment.’
‘Really?’ Celia’s head snaps up at the mention of one of her beloved sons being under the weather. ‘What’s the matter with him?’
‘Sorry, Celia, didn’t mean to worry you. He’s fine. Just a little bit pale and he hasn’t got a very good appetite at the moment. Nothing serious though.’
‘Poor Nick,’ I add. ‘There are a few winter bugs going around. Fingers crossed he feels better for your trip.’ Selfishly I worry that they’ll be ill and won’t be able to make it to the anniversary party.
‘I’ll bring him round some of my soup,’ Celia offers. ‘That’ll perk him up.’
‘Thank you.’ Madeline gives her a grateful smile, although as she’s a caterer, the one thing Nick is never short of is good food.
‘So, how many RSVPs for the party have you had so far?’ Celia asks me, changing the subject.
‘Almost fifty yesses. I can’t believe so many people are coming.’ I feel a brief flutter of anxiety. ‘You don’t think it might all be too much, do you? The party I mean?’
‘Too much?’ Celia and Madeline give me a questioning look.
‘Yes, I mean, do you think people will think it’s over the top? Most couples do something for their silver or golden wedding anniversaries, but ten years… is it naff?’
‘Don’t be daft,’ Celia says. ‘Everyone loves a party. And your wedding was such a wonderful day, why wouldn’t you want to recreate it?’
I think back to that day and try to remember it with happiness, but all I can truly recall is that before our wedding vows, I fainted. And when I came to, everything felt slightly… off. It’s haunted me ever since. If I’m honest, I think I wanted to organise this anniversary party to exorcise the past. To give myself the wedding I never really had the first time around. Since then, I haven’t quite been able to shake the feeling of sadness. Of longing for a missed milestone. I’d dreamed of an idyllic wedding day where every second would be a moment to cherish. A perfect day to start a perfect marriage with the perfect man. My heart hurts that I’ll never have that memory. That it’s spoiled.
‘Are you okay, Zoe?’ Madeline puts a hand on my arm. ‘You look a bit down.’
‘I’m fine.’ I give her a bright smile. But coming back here and talking about my wedding day has begun to unsettle me. I’m getting the oddes
t feeling that there’s something from that time I’m not quite remembering right.
As I’m picking at the edges of that buried memory, the waitress comes over with a tray of coffees and mini-desserts that look like pieces of art.
‘Here we are, ladies. Hope you’ve got plenty of room for these.’
I give myself a shake and resolve to put away my anxieties for now. To enjoy the rest of the day. I think I’m just feeling overwhelmed and emotional, that’s all. I need to focus on my family and on the fact that I’m celebrating a happy marriage. So what if my wedding day didn’t go exactly to plan? Everything turned out great in the end, and that’s what matters. And, anyway, this anniversary party will more than make up for it. I’m sure it will.
Three
NOW
A Christmas music mix competes with the roar of the hairdryers and the raucous chatter of customers and staff. The atmosphere in the salon is one of excitement tinged with pre-holiday mania.
‘I’m totally sick of Christmas already and we’ve still got three weeks to go.’ Becky tosses her mane of red curls over her shoulder and rolls her eyes dramatically.
‘Calm down, Scrooge,’ I tease as we leave the salon floor and head to the small staffroom at the back to wolf down a quick sandwich in between clients. Becky’s one of my best friends, although we’re total opposites; we’ve worked at Waves together for over a decade. She lives with her long-term boyfriend Sam and neither of them want kids – they love their freedom too much and spend all their spare time going out to gigs and travelling the world. They’re like a couple of perpetual teenagers. Sometimes I wonder how they can live like that, and other times I envy the pants off them.
She continues her tirade. ‘The annoying songs we’ve all heard a thousand times before, the insane lights, the tacky decorations, it all gives me such a stress headache.’ She puts her fingers to her forehead. ‘I mean, I like Christmas as much as the next person, I really do, but why does it have to start so early every year? Jennifer had this place decked out in November. That’s a whole month’s worth of crazy. Of Slade and The Pogues, Band Aid and Chris flipping Rea.’
‘You have to admit, she did a good job though.’ Jennifer has really gone to town with the salon decorations this year, having decided on a tasteful rustic theme. There are twinkling white lights, wooden decorations, gingerbread stars, several wicker reindeer and a nine-foot tree in the window which has been liberally sprayed with fake frost.
‘It’s like working in Lapland,’ Becky grumbles, taking her lunchbox out of the fridge. ‘Which basically makes us elves. You watch, next year she’ll issue us with pointy hats and stripy knee-high socks.’
‘You’re such a drama queen, Becky. I think your blood sugar might be low. Eat your sandwich.’
She gives me the middle finger before plonking herself down on the worn leather sofa. ‘Sorry, just tired today. We were out late last night.’
My phone rings and I’m so hungry I want to ignore it, but it’s my sister-in-law. ‘Hang on a sec, Becky, I better take this.’ I settle myself at the table on one of the wooden dining chairs. ‘Hi, Madeline.’
‘Hello, Zoe. Are you free to talk for a minute?’ She sounds serious.
‘Yeah, sure, I’m on my lunch break so fire away.’ I gaze distractedly through the window at the tiny yard at the back of the salon. It’s bare of any foliage at this time of year. Just a few dead-looking vines twisting up a trellis on the brick wall.
Madeline clears her throat. ‘Okay, well it’s just to say that we won’t need you to have Beth and Freya this weekend after all.’
I sit up straighter, suddenly giving my full attention to the conversation. ‘What happened? Did you cancel your London trip? Is everything okay? Nick didn’t come down with that bug, did he?’
She hesitates. ‘No, we’re still going to London. Kim’s going to have the girls for me instead.’
‘Kim?’ Kim is a good friend of Madeline’s. Her daughter goes to school with my daughter, Alice. ‘But I thought—’
‘It’s just with the party coming up, Nick and I thought you had enough on your plate.’ Her words are clipped.
‘No, not at all,’ I try to reassure her. One of the juniors, Lily, comes into the staffroom and heads towards the kettle. I debate whether or not to go outside for more privacy, but I don’t think I’ll have time before my next client. Instead, I try to inject some lightness into my voice. ‘Alice and Jamie are really looking forward to it, so there’s really no need for Kim to have them. I was planning on doing makeovers with Beth and Alice, and baking with Freya and Jamie. It’ll be fun.’
‘Well, sorry about that, but I’ve arranged it with Kim now, so you don’t need to worry.’ Madeline sounds strangely defensive and formal, and I get a small knot in my stomach. An inkling that something odd might be going on.
Over on the sofa, despite my attempt at levity, Becky must sense my distress because she’s mouthing if everything’s all right. I shake my head in response and shrug.
‘Madeline, is something wrong? Have I done something to—’
‘Sorry, Zoe, I’m busy at work. Got to go.’ The line goes dead. What the hell? I’m not having that. I call her back, my mind thick with confusion. I’ve never been good at confrontation, but I can’t leave things as they are.
‘Hello—’
‘Madeline, is everything…’
‘Sorry I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’d like to leave a message I’ll get back to you.’
Damn! Voicemail. I wait for the beep and leave a quick message, keeping my voice low. ‘Madeline, is everything okay? I get the feeling you might be annoyed about something. Maybe I’m imagining it, I don’t know. Anyway, can you call me back, put my mind at rest? This is Zoe.’
I end the call and slump in my seat, staring at my phone screen, wondering if she will actually ring me back, or whether she’ll ignore me. I don’t buy her excuse that she had to go because she was too busy.
‘What was all that about?’ Becky asks. ‘You okay?’
I stand and walk over to the sofa, sit down next to my friend, trying to think what I could possibly have done to upset my sister-in-law. In all the years we’ve known one another, we’ve never fallen out, and she’s never used that distant, over-polite tone with me before either. Madeline has always been a person I can rely on to be there for me and I’d like to think that goes both ways.
‘Zo?’
‘Sorry, Becky. That was Madeline. She was changing some arrangements.’
‘Arrangements? You mean the party?’
‘No. I was supposed to be looking after my nieces this weekend while they’re away, but now she’s got someone else to do it.’
‘Sounds like you dodged a bullet there,’ she says through a mouthful of sandwich.
‘No, not at all. I love my nieces. I was looking forward to having them over.’
She nudges me with her elbow. ‘I was teasing.’
‘Oh, yeah, sorry. I’m a bit distracted. It was weird. She sounded annoyed with me or something.’
‘No one could ever be annoyed with you, Zoe, you’re too… un-annoying.’ Becky gives me a comforting wink. I give her a weak smile in return. ‘You sure she wasn’t just stressed, or busy? Sometimes it’s hard to tell from a phone conversation. You might be worrying over nothing.’
I replay the conversation in my head. ‘No. She was definitely pissed off.’
‘Well then, you’ll just have to speak to her about it.’
‘I know. But you know how rubbish I am at stuff like that.’
‘Put on your big-girl pants, Zoe.’
I stick out my tongue and sink back into the sofa, closing my eyes for a few seconds.
‘Better eat your lunch if you’re having any. Your two o’clock will be here soon.’
I sigh and pull a face. ‘I’ve lost my appetite.’
‘Okay, but don’t expect me to pick you up off the floor when you faint from hunger at four o’clock.’ She shoves
the last piece of sandwich in her mouth and pops open a can of Fanta.
I wonder how I’m going to break the news to the kids. They’ve both been looking forward to having their cousins to stay. I decide that whatever’s happened, it’s obviously some misunderstanding that Madeline and I will be able to sort out. It’s annoying that I can’t fix it right now, because I know I’m going to brood about it all afternoon. But Becky’s right – I’ll speak to Madeline after work, sort it out and everything will go back to normal. At least, I hope it will.
I check my watch and see that Becky wasn’t wrong. I’ve only got five minutes until my next appointment. I head to the fridge and take out the Ziploc bag with my cream cheese bagel. Becky nods approvingly as I take a bite and chew without tasting, my mind still on my sister-in-law.
Four
THEN
The seventeenth-century stone chapel is full to bursting with all our friends and family. It’s mainly Toby’s large extended family, but that’s okay. They’re about to become my family too. My normally straight dark hair has been curled and swept off my face, held back with the pearl comb that belonged to my mother. My ivory lace dress is fitted at the bodice, and flares out slightly at the hem, the whole ensemble studded through with seed pearls. I’m standing at the back of the chapel as though in a dream.
‘You sure you’re okay, Zo?’ Becky gives me a worried glance as Lou straightens out my tulle wedding train.
It takes a few seconds to realise she’s talking to me. It’s sweltering in here. Forget the fact that it’s December, and that outside it’s threatening to snow. Here in the little chapel the walls are lined with piping-hot radiators, and the air is thick with body heat and CO2. I can barely breathe. I should have considered the temperature of the venue beforehand. Should have made sure it was a little cooler inside. It’s clear the congregation are finding it uncomfortable too, with top layers already discarded over laps and seat backs, and the order-of-service cards being used as makeshift fans.
I wipe the sweat from my top lip and forehead, wishing this dress weren’t quite as tightly fitted. The bump on the back of my head is throbbing, my brain is fuzzy and there’s the distinct possibility that I may throw up. ‘I’m fine,’ I whisper back. I decided not to tell anyone else about my fainting episode as I didn’t want my big day to be overshadowed by everyone talking about it. Toby and his family agreed to keep quiet about it too.
The Wife: An unputdownable psychological thriller with a breathtaking twist Page 2
