by Eva Delaney
Shakes wrapped an arm around me, and I squeezed his hand. I wasn’t sure that I loved him yet, but I knew that I would with a bit more time. All three of them had become physical necessities in only a day.
“Well, maybe this will help Oscar and Sammy escape their haunting spots,” I said. “Maybe their unfinished business will be finished now…” And they can go wherever spirits go when they leave Earth. Someplace where I’ll never hear from them again.
“What was your unfinished business?” I asked.
“I never knew, but now I think it was you. I was waiting for my soul mate.”
My heart fluttered like the wings of a flying dildo. “Only took four hundred years.”
“I can wait for a few more. I’ll get on a plane to America—my unfinished business is here, so I should be able to leave London. When you pass, I’ll be there, waiting.”
I sniffed. “I’ll be on the move for the rest of my life.”
“I’ll find you one way or another.”
Nodding, I tilted my head to rest it on Shakes’ shoulder…only to find empty air. That was when I realized Oscar and Sammy had fallen oddly quiet.
I looked down. In Shakes’ place rested a dildo. My laptop sat on Sammy’s jacket next to two other cocks.
“Hello?”
The dildos didn’t answer this time. Of course, they couldn’t. The cave remained silent but for the splash of the small waterfall, the Wishbone theme song, and the sobs I couldn’t seem to stop.
Chapter 25
“Okay, men, we need a plan,” I said, planting my hands on my hips.
In front of me, the Dick dildo stood on Shakes’ leather pants, with The Thomas on Sammy’s coat, and The Oz on Oscar’s sweater.
I stalked before them like a general giving orders. “Ramrod Johnson—yes, that is his real name and yes, that might be why he’s a villain—built his stronghold on an island in the North Atlantic. What was that, Oscar? Yes, good question! He’s in the North Atlantic because his spell to raise an island from the sea backfired. It sprouted in the north rather than by Cuba. Now, our first course of action is finding a boat. Captain Samuel Bartholomew?”
I paused before the dildo sitting on a navy blue coat.
He didn’t answer.
“Excellent idea, Captain! We shall head for the Gulf of St. Lawrence and commandeer a schooner…that’s a type of pirate ship, right?”
The dildo didn’t answer.
I sighed and dropped my hands to my sides. This wasn’t going to work. I had barely survived Ram’s last attack, and he had only sent four witches. I’d have to storm Ram’s HQ to retrieve Soulbinders and the Spellbinder. That meant facing his entire gang.
My former gang.
I was going to need a team—and some way to protect them. That was the problem. I couldn’t keep everyone safe in an all-out battle, and I couldn’t ask someone to risk their life so I could be pounded real damn good.
Could I?
I paused, eyeing the dildos that had been men.
Shaking my head, I shoved the thought away. No, I couldn’t risk other people for more cocks, abs, and ass.
Could I?
I hesitated, remembering that orgasm that had lasted for at least twenty minutes, probably.
No, no, I shouldn’t risk other people.
Bob’s phone buzzed in my pocket and I dug it out, turning my back to the dildos. The screen showed a few texts. I scrolled to the oldest one from last night. Riley, the biker and raptor shifter from Yes Now Bob, said suspicious people had visited the diner with suspicious questions about me. They had left without harming anyone.
“Do you need help?” her next message read.
Yes, I thought, but I couldn’t ask her to risk her life.
Above that was a text from Sapphire. “People looking for you. I told them to stuff ice cream cones up their asses and dance around.”
I chuckled. Her next text read, “Someone named Alyssa says you’re in trouble. She says she’s your friend.”
My heart clogged my throat. Fuck. Along with Ram, Alyssa was the ringleader of all this. She was more skilled than those assholes from last night and would arrive with more witches, too. It would be a hell of a battle to get past Alyssa and her sidekicks. If she brought Ram via video chat, I’d be done for.
Sapphire again: “Is it true she’s your friend, or should I tell her to stick a spoon in her ass and squat down to scoop ice cream onto waffle cones?”
I laughed. I was certain Sapphire had told Alyssa that and only texted me because she was proud of the insult.
The final text was from Sapphire again. “How can we help? Riley and Wim are looking for you. I have my battle armor on. Bob says, ‘hi.’”
Pressing my lips together, I tucked the phone back into my pocket. Ram had nearly killed Shakespeare, permanently killed him with no afterlife. Anyone who helped me could end up the same. Hell, it was a guarantee that someone would die if we stormed Ram’s headquarters.
But I couldn’t defeat him alone. That was why I had failed years ago.
It was hopeless.
Frowning, I crouched to wrap the dildos up in their men’s clothes. I stuffed them into my backpack. Time to move on.
I just hoped Sammy, Shakes, and Oscar could do the same.
We hadn’t even said goodbye. Maybe I could sneak back into Silver Springs and the ice cream factory. Shout a farewell to Oscar and hope he was there to hear it. The factory was on the edge of town. If I cut through the forest, I might be able to reach it without Alyssa or any of Ram’s people finding me.
Maybe.
Shouldering my bag, I took one last look at the silvery blue pool where we had been happy together.
All things came to an end, including relationships, friendships, parent-child ties, sisterhoods, and bonds between sexy talking dildos and pussies. They all ended one day.
The only thing you could do was to keep moving.
I nodded to myself and turned to leave the cave.
At the opening, Alyssa stood with her arms crossed over her chest.
My heart leaped into my throat, and the magic flared inside me like rage. How long had she been there? She could have killed me from behind, and I wouldn’t have seen her coming. That had always been her specialty in our heist days.
I expected her to flash her triumphant predatory grin. Instead, she frowned, a little line forming at the corner of her mouth that hadn’t been there before. “Hello, Juniper. Ready to fight?”
Chapter 26
I dropped to a fighting stance, letting my magic flood my veins and the air around me. My forearms glowed with purple fire, ready to attack. “Any last words before I turn you into an asshole without a body? You’ll be a puckered flap of skin floating on a river.”
“I didn’t mean that I was going to fight you,” Alyssa said. “Are you ready to take on Ramrod?” She stepped toward me with her arms crossed.
She looked unprepared to fight, but I knew she could be deceptive in battle. Sneakiness was her specialty.
I kept my defenses up. “Bullshit. You’re working with Ram. You’re the one who gave him the ring that lets him send magic over the internet. He nearly killed me and my friend.”
“Nearly killed is not dead,” Alyssa said.
Dick turds. I used to think like that, and it made Alyssa all the more enraging.
“You survived him. Most don’t,” Alyssa said. “We don’t all have the option of facing him and running away. Some of us have to…play nice,” she curled her lip, “until we find a better opportunity.”
“You claim you’re a double agent.” I rolled my eyes. “That’s a lazy lie.”
“Is it?” She stepped toward me, and I held my ground.
“Yes, because it can’t be easily proved. It’s also the plot of a million fucking movies.”
Alyssa shrugged, letting her arms fall to her sides. I tensed. That could be the first move before an attack. “What can I say? I’m a fan of pop culture.”
“
And I’m a fan of popping a curse in your ass.”
Alyssa sighed as though tired. “Look, I’ve been biding my time with Ram for years as I searched for you. I want to take him down.”
“I’m not your savior.”
“You know why you’re the only one of us who left? Because you’re the only one who could.”
“Bullshit. You want to leave? Just slip away while on one of his missions to the far side of the world.”
“And what happens when he and his goons show up to kill me for it? You stand a chance against a small army and against Ram himself—”
“Pfft.”
“You do. Yes, he bested you, but you fought him and a squad of vampires and lived. You fought him last night and lived.”
“Barely.”
“But you did so without any other witches to back you up. I can’t do that. So I couldn’t leave until I found you…or someone else who could kick Ram’s ass. Whoever came first. You’re not that special. I just need some kind of backup.”
The thing with Alyssa was that she was an expert liar. It was why we had become friends in the first place. It was also why she had no tells that gave her away. She should be playing poker and making all the male players sob over their broke asses.
“How did you find me?” I asked.
“This time here in the cave or the first time?” she said with her patented condescending dryness.
“Both.”
“I bought a wolf shifter’s smelling abilities from a scientist. He was quite mad. I figured he was a conman, but what the hell, I gave it a try and it worked.”
“That’s a more creative lie.”
“I haven’t lied to you since I arrived in this backwater shit town. I tracked your scent to a bridge.” She sniffed and rubbed her nose. “I keep smelling fascinating scents, but when I follow them, they lead to piles of shit. How do wolf shifters live with themselves?”
I snorted.
“Your scent continued on the road, but I knew better. Remember Rome?”
I knew where this was going and didn’t like it.
“We robbed a wolf pack of their relics and swam up the Tiber to cover our scents. Upriver because extraction points were often on the coast and they would know that. They wouldn’t expect us to travel deeper into their land to escape. I figured you did the same here.”
Yep, that was exactly where I thought this was going. She knew me too well.
Alyssa grinned. “The real question is how it took me four years to find you at all. I figured you went someplace…nice.”
She was trying to goad me. Silver Springs was perfectly quaint…which I guessed wasn’t pleasant by her globe-trotting standards—or mine. I had hated the place when I first arrived, which was why I had picked it. My old gang would never vacation here.
“As for how I found you in Silver Springs: there was a coven that called themselves the Shadow Masters or some shit like that. We were going to rob the hell out of them, but a teenage girl took them down first. Pathetic losers, really. When in town scoping them out, I stumbled upon you.” She smiled. “You didn’t even see me coming.”
“And you stumbled upon Violet, too,” I said. I was certain Alyssa was behind the people who had come after my neighbor.
“I had to give Ram something to keep him and his loyal followers happy so they wouldn’t notice you. Classic misdirection.”
“Bullshit. I live in the same building as Violet. They were bound to notice me.”
“I tried to get Violet fired, so she’d leave town. Our old friends would follow, and you’d be safe. She stuck around, but she got them arrested and out of our way. It all worked out.”
“You’re bullshitting. You wanted Ram’s people to find me.”
“Yes! Because then you’d be forced to stop running and to fight! To stop Ram. If you can survive him alone, think what we can do together.”
I was surprised she admitted that she had ratted me out to Ram. It wasn’t like Alyssa to tell the truth if it made her look like shit. I relaxed my arms, letting the purple fire that danced around them go. But I didn’t lock away my magic. I kept it close, swirling in my blood, in case she decided to attack. Let’s see if she was really here to kill me or not.
“We were a team once, Juniper. Let’s be one again. I’ve missed you.”
A part of me had missed her too. We were like sisters once. Together, we cursed desks at the academy so they chased teachers. Together, we were expelled for dark magic. Together, we drank, fucked, and cursed our way across the Eastern Seaboard before meeting a charming dark witch with big plans. Together, we trained under Ram. Together, we traveled the world on grand adventures to steal everything powerful and beautiful.
Then, it had all changed.
I had left without her. I didn’t think Alyssa would change her mind about Ram. She fell in love with him on the day we met him.
Alone, I ran. Alone, I found a new life.
Now, I stood alone again. The men from my latest adventure were gone. My normal life as a dildo crafter with supe friends was gone.
As though Alyssa could read my mind, she said, “What happened to the smexy hotties who were with you? It’s not like you to lose sausages wrapped in hot fresh buns.”
“They’re…” My mind whirled with all the lies I could tell. All the lies I should tell. This was Alyssa after all, and she worked for Ram still. But I didn’t have the motivation to lie. I had never realized before that it took emotional energy to look someone in the eye and make shit up. Emotional energy I didn’t have today. I had cried it all away.
“They’re gone. The spell wore off.”
Alyssa’s eyes lit up.
Fuck.
“You know who owns more magic than anyone?”
I sighed.
“You can bring them back. Juniper! Why lose someone else you love?”
“Don’t you dare bring up my family—”
“Okay, sorry. If you don’t want to fight Ram for me, do it for those hotties. Do it for yourself. You deserve some spicy cock double-down sandwiches.”
“Why are men food?”
“Because you consume them and move on with your day.” Alyssa’s mouth quirked almost into a smile. I felt mine do the same.
We both burst into mad laughter, just like the old days.
I caught my breath as the laughs faded. “You were secretly in love with Ram. Why are you so desperate to bring him down?”
Alyssa’s expression hardened for a fraction of a second, then shifted back to her apathetic look.
That was when I knew the next thing she said would be a lie. I was wrong. She had a tell after all. Something had happened in the last few years to crack her outer walls.
“I left for the same reason you did,” Alyssa said. “He’s mad.”
She was lying about her motives, and she might be lying about her goal to stop Ram. But that didn’t mean she lacked value. I could use her to get past Ram’s wards and into his stronghold where she would surely double-cross me. Then I’d have to fight both of them, plus any other guards.
Fuck. I needed a team, but that meant putting people at risk.
I was back where I started. I didn’t want to hurt other people anymore. Old Juniper could have saved the men because she didn’t care who she hurt. She laughed while casting curses—the more gruesome the curse, the better.
Leaving that behind, running from my dark impulses, had gained me Shakes, Sammy, and Oscar. But to keep them, I’d need to become a monster again.
“I’m not asking anyone to put their life on the line for our fight,” I said.
“You assume you’re the only person who wants to stop him? Lots of people would volunteer.”
“And many of them would die.”
Alyssa grinned. “Now that we’re talking tactics, I can help you. You’re welcome. Turns out, I might have forgotten to give Ram all those internet magic rings. He only has the one, but there are half a dozen more.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out h
er phone.
My heart pounded in my ears. Yanking the cell from her hand, I threw it hard against the stone wall. It clattered to the ground in pieces, and I stomped on it with both feet.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Alyssa cried.
I whirled on her. “Ha! Now Ram can’t attack me.”
“He couldn’t. The phone was on airport mode.”
“A convenient lie that you can’t prove.”
“Because you smashed my phone!”
I crossed my arms.
Alyssa pinched the bridge of her nose. “You crazy fatherfucker. Why did I ever think befriending you was a good idea?”
“Because no one else would befriend you.”
She dropped her hand. “That’s right. Nobody thought much of a couple of dark witches. The academy said as much when they expelled us.”
“No other school would accept us because we have an affinity for what no one else wants to see.”
“The only ones who believed in us were each other.”
“And Ram,” I muttered.
“And Ram.”
And Sammy, Shakes, and Oscar. They knew I was a dark witch and they didn’t care. They thought I could use that power for something better than curses and theft.
“What happened to make you stop believing in me?” Alyssa said, her voice strained with something like regret. But she never regretted anything.
“You loved him,” I admitted with a shrug.
“You never thought I’d pick you over a man?”
I met her gaze. Her eyes were tired. Hurt. There were lines at the edges that hadn’t been there before. At that moment, she looked older and exhausted.
I missed when that face held no lines. When she smirked and gave no fucks.
Easier times.
“Not this man, no,” I admitted. “I didn’t think you’d leave him for any reason. I’m still not sure. You lied about your motivation for being here.”
“You lie about yours. Deep down, you want to be a hero. Remember when we had detention for cursing pencils or for a hint of purple energy while doing so-called light magic? Afterward, we’d sit on the academy roof and share bathtub-brewed whiskey and dream of one day being the heroes. The good guys. The ones people respected rather than spit on for their abilities.”
