by Susan Turner
©2018 Susan Turner. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
ISBN: 978-1-54392-912-6 (print)
ISBN: 978-1-54392-913-3 (ebook)
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Cimmy & Baird
Sneak Peek: Endless Need
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank my dear animal companions past and present, whose love and kindness never ceases to amaze me. My dear sweet Great Pyrnees, Baird, whose heart is bigger than the stars. I would like to thank my editor, Julie Loar for her patient assistance and Barbara Thuman-Calderaro for her assistance. I would like to thank my dear friends, Willie, Laura, Cheri and Rhonda who have always encouraged me. I would like to thank Andrew Sam Newman who helped connect me to the right people. I also would thank those who encouraged me to learn how to speak to the animals and see the interconnected web of energy between us all. All those who have touched my life deserve to be acknowledged.
Most of all, I would like to thank my father for encouraging my love of writing and never giving up on me, who is currently looking down from heaven saying, “she finally did it.”
Once upon a time there was a special cat named Cimmy. One beautiful day he lay down in the heat of the Sun, enjoying himself near the lake by his home. He reached out his long red furry legs and felt the warmth on his paws. He could feel the rays of the Sun warming his body, and the heat felt like a soft cocoon. He looked up at the endless light blue sky with no clouds in sight---it was going to be a good day.
*****
Cimmy was a beautiful cat, with reddish coloring and white markings. He lived with his human friend Jacob at the end of a country lane where no other people lived. The lane seemed to go on forever with lush green trees and a rocky road. Behind the house was an endless green yard with a forest beyond. Cimmy loved running and playing in the yard in the early morning when dew sparkled like little crystals. He enjoyed licking the dew off little green leaves as the moisture quenched his thirst.
Cimmy loved his human and knew they were meant to be together. Cimmy reminisced about how they had met. One day when Cimmy was just a little kitten Jacob came to the shelter looking for a cat. Later Jacob told him that morning he’d had a dream that it was the right time to look for a cat companion.
Cimmy remembered being born in a dark patch of land with a lot of trees nearby and a lake. He had brothers and sisters—they were called a litter. He remembered a bunch of people coming and picking them up. They had been hungry a long time. Their bellies had grumbled and rumbled but there had been no food or drink. Their mother went looking for food and had not come back. Then the people came. All he remembered was the people took him to a shelter and put him in a clean, small cage with a towel for a bed, a litter box, and a bowl of water . They gave him food and a small toy mouse. After a while, Cimmy lost interest in the mouse and just slept most of the time. The floor of the cage was often cold and hard, so he stayed on his towel most of the time. The staff were nice to him and tried to cheer him up, but he felt heartbroken. His brothers and sisters all left with people, but no one took him. He felt sad and very lonely. When people came to look at cats, he tried to look happy but always felt teary, and he did not seem to grow like the other animals. He thought people did not want him because he was small and a little skinny, but he believed in his heart that one day the right person would come for him and they would know each other.
Then one day Jacob, a man with gray hair, green eyes and a nice face came. He walked past all the cages, would look, but no cat seemed quite right. Then he saw Cimmy and instantly loved him. The red markings with white stripes reminded him of a cat he lived with when he was a young boy growing up on a farm in upstate New York. He loved all the animals. He had dogs, cats, pigs, cows, horses, and donkeys, but the animal he loved the most was his cat. The cat had come walking up to him one day and had never left his side. He had named him Cimmy. But the cat had grown old and died. Before he died Cimmy said to look out for him because one day he would come back as a young kitten.
When Cimmy saw the man, he felt he belonged with him and rubbed against the cage and meowed. At first the man looked at him strangely, but quickly a big smile came over his face as he recognized his cat from another time. He began to laugh as Cimmy tried with all his might to say hello like he heard people say, but it just came out as “MEOW.” He kept thinking “hello,” hoping the man could read his mind, but he knew people couldn’t hear his thoughts. Then the man, without moving his lips, said “Hi Cimmy, I hear you, I’m here for you and I will take you home. I remember you, do you remember me?” The cat could not believe it, the man spoke to him in a way he understood, and the man could hear him. Most people did not speak cat, and he was amazed. Remembrance dawned on Cimmy as he saw images of his previous lifetime with the man. Cimmy said “Yes, yes I remember you, take me out of here please. It is cold and lonely, and I have been waiting for you.”
The man took Cimmy home, loved him, fed him, and gave him treats and cuddles. Cimmy lapped up the cream the man put in a bowl on the floor until he could not drink any more. His little tongue was all white and Jacob laughed and laughed. When Cimmy finished drinking his tongue hung out of his mouth and he laid down and rolled over to have his belly rubbed.
Cimmy thought Jacob’s house was beautiful. He roamed around and felt soft carpet under his paws. The whole house had so many windows that sunlight, which Cimmy loved, beat down on him from every room. There were big glass doors and soft velvet blue walls. Jacob showed Cimmy his bed and said Cimmy could sleep with him or in his own soft blue bed next to his. The house was not big to a human, but to him it was enormous, and there was so much land all around the house like nothing he had ever seen. Pretty pink and blue and purple flowers bloomed everywhere.
Cimmy and Jacob snuggled together every night and went for walks outside every day. Sometimes they stopped and smelled the flowers, sometimes they just sat for a while on the benches Jacob had outside. When they felt rested they would walk again. Cimmy heard the man say their walk was two miles per day. It seemed like Jacob’s property went on forever, and sometimes Cimmy would run ahead and sometimes he would wait and walk with the man. Cimmy would never run off because he loved his human friend and made sure he was always in sight.
Cimmy was Jacob’s only family because Jacob would say to him that he was the only love in his life and the happiest part. Jacob would talk to him about his life, how hard he had worked, his wife who had passed, and the times he had helped animals and people who needed it. He talked to him of his children who lived far away and never seemed to have much time for him. Cimmy would try to understand and was just happy to be with him. Cimmy knew they shared a special bond. The man told Cimmy he was his four-legged-child. If Cimmy was hungry; the man would give him his favorite treat--tuna samples. Cimmy couldn’t help jumping up for the treats. He even tried to find them if Jacob was not home. Sometimes Jacob gave him catnip, which made him roll around and purr and smile.
If Cimmy was tired and resting by the fireplace, or on Jacob’s lap, Jacob understood. Cimmy felt he could hear the man’s thoughts and would know when he was tired or sad or lonely and always be there to cuddle with him. He knew because Jacob would cry softly, trying to turn his face away, or his eyes would begin to close. The man taught Cimmy many things; he taught him about the forest nearby, about animals to go near and the ones
to avoid, where to play and where not to go. He taught him that there was much more to the world than what he could see with his eyes and Jacob taught him to use his gut sense, which at first Cimmy didn’t understand, but then he started to. He would practice using his gut sense every day to tell him where the birds were and where to find the toys Jacob hid around the house for him. Jacob told him it was the same sense he used when he knew that Jacob would come one day for him.
One day he had been walking while Jacob took a nap and suddenly Cimmy’s gut sense told him to go home. He rushed home and found Jacob crying. Then he knew he had done the right thing by listening to his gut sense as he had been taught. He asked Jacob why he was crying, and Jacob replied that he was sick, and he would miss Cimmy so much. Cimmy did not know what to say so he just snuggled next to Jacob and purred, trying to cheer him up. He would lick his hands and his face until Jacob was no longer crying and kissed him on the head.
*****
After three more years of being together, Jacob told him that they did not have much more time to be together. He explained that it was near the time of his passing into another world. He had been sick a lot; Cimmy had often heard him making sick noises in the bathroom, and Jacob sometimes slept alone, though first he would hold and kiss and snuggle Cimmy. Cimmy did not understand at first, and the man tried to explain. He had a feeling he only had two weeks left and he wanted Cimmy to be ready for his passing. Cimmy was angry when he first heard this because he did not want to lose him and ran under the bed for half the night. He didn’t stay though because he missed sleeping with his human friend. When he forgave Jacob and wasn’t so angry, he came back out.
Jacob told him maybe it wasn’t fair that he adopted Cimmy and felt maybe he had been selfish to get Cimmy when he was nearing his end. But he had known he was meant to go to the shelter that day and Cimmy purred and told him he was happy he had taken him into his life. He was grateful for any time they had together, however short. Jacob gave him a choice. He asked Cimmy if he wanted to go to a shelter where the doctors would take him, and he showed him pictures of the cage he would probably live in but explained he would have medical care and plenty of food. He asked him if he would want to go free in the yard with the flowers, or maybe the forest where he would have to find food on his own and there would be wild animals. He showed him lots of pictures of shelters and the wild and explained the difference, making sure to let him know he would fend for himself if he chose the outside. He would be under the night sky in all kinds of weather. He also let him know how hard it would be in the winters and how sad he might be being all alone. He told him his spirit would always be with him and he would watch over him. When Jacob finished telling him, Cimmy cuddled next to him and then went to the window to let him know what he wanted. He never wanted to go back to a shelter and be inside a cage again. Jacob knew that Cimmy would want his freedom but felt he had to give him a choice.
Cimmy stayed with Jacob through the night, lying in the crook of his arm until his human friend passed to the next place. In the morning he gave Jacob one last kiss and licked his face and purred. Then he hid until other humans came to take Jacob and him away. He waited until they came in the room and thought they had him. At the last minute, he leaped up on the window sill and jumped out. Cimmy smiled to himself, thinking about his escape, because the humans who had come early in the morning had been ready to grab him. He was proud of himself and had a good laugh knowing they probably thought it was horrible, but he would be free and was ecstatic he wouldn’t have to go back to a cage.
*****
At first, Cimmy did not know what to do with himself, so he walked all around the property like he had with Jacob, making sure he covered the same ground, so he knew when he had gone two miles. He smelled the same pretty flowers and licked the morning dew off the leaves. He never ventured beyond his human’s land. Jacob had left a couple bags of food hidden in the yard for Cimmy to eat. When the food was almost gone, Cimmy remembered what the man taught him about how to catch wild food and started to hunt. It was hard at first but Cimmy learned how to catch food and never took more than he needed. He would wait for the mice to come out and soon he learned how to stalk the animals. He never really felt good about it, but knew he had to eat, so he tried to find the ones that were weak or sick. He learned to move quietly so he would not be seen or heard.
Cimmy loved running through the grass in the meadow, hearing the birds sing, chasing the birds and running after the rabbits, and just enjoying his days. However, he missed his human friend Jacob. Cimmy often felt lonely and tried not to dwell on his memories, but there was an ache in his chest sometimes. They had loved each other so much and when he thought about Jacob he cried tears. He thought there must be other companions for him somewhere, but he didn’t know where. He began to see strangers coming to the house, so he knew he would have to start leaving his safe zone.
One day after a long sleep he knew this was going to be a good day as the sky was blue and the Sun was shining. His body felt strong and warm, so he began to walk. He walked through the glen that he called home, and not finding food, decided to walk further. He kept going and going, being a very curious and hungry cat with a rumbling belly. When it started to get dark he realized that he had walked into the forest. He hadn’t paid attention to how long he had been gone or how far he had walked since he had never been this far before.
Cimmy figured he shouldn’t go back as it was too dark and there just might be things out here that could hurt him. He also knew there were strangers at the house now and they might not like having a cat around, so he found a nice spot behind a tree under a log that provided cover where he could sleep. Just when he started to fall asleep, he heard crying, not exactly a human cry, but it wasn’t any animal he had ever heard before. The sound wasn’t like the birds he loved to chase, or the rabbits he ran after, and it wasn’t like insects, or bees, or even a dog.
Cimmy decided he better go check. He quietly walked toward the sound, softly putting down one paw at a time. Then he saw the biggest animal he had ever seen. It was bigger than a dog and covered in black fur. Even though the animal was big, he thought it seemed very young. The animal was loudly crying with tears rolling down its face, and its dark fur was matted and dirty. Cimmy had never seen so much dirt. Still, the creature was beautiful but making an awful fuss that kept getting louder and louder with its sobs.
“Why are you crying? Cimmy ventured.
“Oh oh, who is that? You scared me,” the creature practically screamed.
Cimmy didn’t know whether to laugh or cry himself. The look on this creature’s face was so pathetic he wanted to laugh. It was kind of funny seeing this big black creature bawling like a baby and being afraid of Cimmy, who was not even a quarter of his size. Cimmy felt bad for him and decided not to laugh.
“I’m Cimmy the cat, what are you, and why are you crying?”
“I don’t know what I am, but I am all alone. I think they called me a baby bear. My mommy and daddy went to get food and they never ever came back. I am hungry, and I miss them, wahhhhhhhhh.”
The bear kept crying and crying and Cimmy didn’t know whether he felt bad for him or was just sick of hearing him cry. He decided it was a little of both and tried to figure out what he could do.
“Well, I don’t know where they are but how long has it been?”
“They left two dark times ago.”
“That’s two days, which means they probably aren’t coming back.”
This brought more tears and Cimmy realized he had been too honest and wished he hadn’t said anything quite that abrupt. Jacob had taught him to be honest as it saved problems in the long run, but Cimmy didn’t know it would make someone hurt this much and he felt sorry.
“I can help you find food, what do you eat, bear?”
“I eat berries and leaves, and I don’t know, wahhhhhhhhhhh...” This brought more tears and the bear looked e
ven more pathetic and Cimmy realized just how young this bear must be even though he was big.
“No mice? Cimmy questioned.
“What’s a mice? “
“A mouse.” Cimmy said being somewhat exasperated.
“You said mice. Whaaaaaaaaaa” the bear kept on.
Never mind, I will help you find some berries, but it’s dark and we probably shouldn’t move around too much, it isn’t safe.”
“I heard mommy say nothing can hurt us, that everyone is scared of us, you don’t seem scared.”
“Should I be? You don’t seem scary to me but you do seem scared. How old are you?”
“I don’t know; mommy would know wahhhhh.” The young bear kept crying and crying and Cimmy began to feel even more sad, knowing what it was like to lose Jacob. He figured it must be the same way for the baby bear.
Cimmy went off to look for berries. He knew what they looked like because Jacob ate them. All he could find were black ones, so he made several trips bringing them to the bear, who was still crying and not helping him find food. When Cimmy picked the little black berries, the thorns pricked his paw and he bled a little bit, but he hid this from the bear. Cimmy was also a little irritated at the lack of help but understood the bear’s immaturity. The bear did thank him and then talked about how his mother and father would bring him food, and then he would cry some more.
And so it went on for the rest of the night until finally the bear fell asleep. Cimmy, who by now was exhausted and feeling bad for the bear, curled up next to him hoping that other animals really were scared of the bear and they would both be safe. So, under a darkening sky with the prettiest stars Cimmy had ever seen, Cimmy went to sleep. He woke in the morning to the loudest noise he had ever heard.
“What was that, the end of the Earth? Cimmy cried. He was startled, and his little body shook.
