I sink back against the unforgiving wall.
What…just happened?
We were here and kissing, and it was amazing. I mean, he seemed to be enjoying himself. And then he…looked like he didn’t even know why he was kissing me, and he walked away without a word.
I don’t get it.
Or…
Maybe he just remembered exactly whom he was kissing.
Oh God.
I feel sick.
He really does think I’m beneath him.
Maybe I am.
I’m dirt-poor. Fresh out of prison. I carry more baggage than Heathrow Airport.
I’m trash.
I’m his cleaner, for God’s sake!
My eyes start to sting with tears. I press the heels of my hands to them.
Kas is good-looking and rich. Yeah, he’s an arsehole ninety percent of the time, but rich people get to be arseholes.
So, why in the world would a guy like him want a girl like me?
He wouldn’t—clearly.
He obviously got lost in the moment. I was an easy way to spend a few minutes.
And didn’t I just give it up? I would have had sex with him if he’d asked.
Jesus. I’m such a fool.
My face starts to burn with shame and embarrassment.
Don’t I ever learn? Didn’t I get burned enough by the last man I let close?
And to kiss him, of all people…my boss.
But then it was him that kissed me. It wasn’t like I threw myself at him. He instigated it. And then he acted like a head case right after.
Total dick move.
I mean, who does that? Who kisses someone and then just walks away?
An arsehole—that’s who.
Kas-hole.
Well, screw him.
I don’t need his shit.
I just need this job.
I take a few gulps of air, but the air in here just feels cloggy, and all I can smell on my skin is Kas. The scent of his bloody aftershave.
Straightening my spine, I push off the wall and head toward the back door—in the exact opposite direction where Kas went.
I just need to go outside, get some fresh air. Clear my head. Figure out how to handle this monumental fuckup.
I head out back and around the side of the house, needing some quiet.
I lean against the house and rest my head back.
Sighing, I shut my eyes. But, when I do, all that happens is that I see Kas kissing me. I remember the feel of his lips on mine, like it’s happening again right now.
I want him. I hate to admit it, but it’s true.
I might not like Kas, and I might want to punch him in the nutsack. But I do want him.
How screwed up is that?
But I can’t have him because it would be the worst idea in the world, and he doesn’t want me.
He made that fact perfectly clear when he pushed away from me, looked at me with regret, and then stalked away without a word.
I breathe through the ache of his rejection.
How am I supposed to forget the way he tastes, the way he kisses, the way he feels under my hands?
How am I supposed to see him every day after this?
I’ll do it because I have no choice. He doesn’t want me, but there are more important things at stake than my lusty feelings for Kastor Matis.
And it was just a kiss. One measly kiss.
Only…it didn’t feel like just a kiss.
“Hey, whatcha doing out here? You avoiding work? Or just hiding out from Kas?” The sound of Cooper’s chuckling voice jolts me out of my thoughts.
My eyes flash open. For a second, I panic and think he knows about what just happened in the kitchen with Kas and me, but he couldn’t.
Shaking off the feeling, I push off the wall and force a smile. “Hey, Cooper. Neither. Just having a minute.”
He gives me a knowing look. “Kas giving you a hard time again?”
Is Kas giving me a hard time? Well, he was definitely hard a few minutes ago.
Before he realized whom he was getting hard for.
That douses cold water on the memory.
“No more than usual.” I wrap my arms around my chest. “What are you doing up here?” I ask him.
“Ran out of milk.” He grins.
“You’re always running out of milk. Do you guys just live on cups of tea?”
“And biscuits.”
“Can’t forget the biscuits. You ran out of them as well?”
His grin deepens.
“Lucky for you, there’s milk in the fridge and plenty of biscuits in the larder. I’ll grab them for you.”
“Before you do”—he stops me with a hand on my arm, which he quickly removes—“I, um…I wanted to ask you…” He shifts on his feet, running a hand through his hair, avoiding my eyes. “Well, I wondered if you’d want to have a drink on Thursday night?”
“With all the guys? Sure.” I smile at the thought of being invited to one of their outings.
“Actually…” He lifts his eyes to mine. “I meant, just you and me.”
“Oh.” Oh.
“I mean, it’s cool if you don’t want to—”
“No, it’s fine.” It is? “I mean, sure. Yes.” Daisy…what are you doing?
“Yes?” His eyes light up, his lips lifting into a big smile.
Shit, what am I doing? I like Cooper…but Kas…and I’ve already said yes.
“Yes,” I repeat with a smile.
His grin deepens. “Cool. Well, how about you give me your number, and I can text you to arrange it?”
“Sure. But, first, let me get you the milk and biscuits.” And bang my head against the wall while I’m at it.
I usher him to go inside first. Watching him round the corner, I let out a low groan.
Jesus Christ, Daisy, what the hell are you playing at?
Get kissed by Kas, and then get asked out on a date by Cooper—all in the space of twenty minutes.
Great going, Daisy. Really, well done.
I think I hear movement on Kas’s balcony. My head snaps up. I move back to get a clear view, but no one is there, and the sliding door to his bedroom is shut.
Must have been a bird or the breeze or something.
“Daisy? You coming or what?” Cooper’s high voice comes from the back of the house, snapping me back to the now.
On a sigh, I say, “Yeah, I’m coming.”
Twenty-One
“Sit still, will you? Honestly, Daisy, you’re worse than some of the kids whose hair I have to cut.”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t know if it’s a good idea to make such an effort with my hair when I’m not really sure that I should be going out with Cooper. I don’t want to get all dressed up and give him the wrong idea.”
Cece lowers the curling iron from my hair, and she pins me with a stare in the mirror. “One, it’s your first date since getting out of”—she hesitates—“that place.”
Cece doesn’t refer to it as prison. I think she thinks that it will upset me if she brings prison up, but it doesn’t. Honestly, I think it upsets her more—the fact that I was in there and she couldn’t do anything to help me.
“It’s not a date, Ce. We’re just two friends and work colleagues who are going out for a drink.”
She gives me a look. “He asked you out. It’s a date. And why do you think you shouldn’t be going out with him?”
I blow out a breath. “Because he asked me literally minutes after I had my tongue down my boss’s throat, and I wasn’t exactly thinking straight.”
My stomach twists in pleasure and pain at the memory.
I haven’t seen Kas since he walked away from me yesterday.
After I came in the house with Cooper, after disastrously accepting his offer to go for a drink, we were in the kitchen, and I heard the front door slam loudly. Then, Kas’s car revved loudly before pulling away.
He didn’t come home for the rest of the day. And he wasn’t at the ho
use at all yesterday or today.
I don’t know where he’s been. But I do know for sure that he’s avoiding me.
I know this because his bed was clearly slept in for both nights. I had the pleasure of making them both mornings.
Obviously, he got up early and left before I arrived for work, and he stayed out until I was gone.
At first, I was relieved because it saved me from an awkward conversation. But, once the relief was gone, absence started to hurt. And all it served to do was remind me of why he’d stopped kissing me in the first place.
And this going out for drinks with Cooper is stupid. I’ve got enough problems with one guy at work without mixing myself up with another.
“I’m going to cancel on Cooper,” I say decisively, making a grab for my phone, which is sitting on the dressing table where I’m seated.
“Don’t you bloody dare, Daisy May Smith.”
My hand stops over the phone, my fingers curled around it.
“Hand off the phone, Mayday.” There’s a no-brokering tone to her voice.
Giving her the stink eye, I slowly lift my hand off the phone.
“No, you listen to me. Above anyone, you deserve a night out. After everything you’ve been through, you’re owed a night out with a good guy who’s also hot. And Australian. So, you know, accent.” She grins.
“Granted, I’ll give you the accent. But I said good-looking. Not hot.”
“Same thing.”
“Jason was hot.”
She frowns at me.
“And I thought he was a good guy,” I continue. “Look where that got me.”
Her scowl quickly softens. “Jason is a plague on society. A waste of perfectly good air. I hate that scum and will wish him well in hell when I send him there. But he’s not all men, babe. I don’t want what happened with that wankstain to sour you on all men. And I’m not suggesting that you have to have a relationship with Cooper or even trust him right away. But I just want you to go out and have some fun. Let someone wine and dine you—or, in this case, just wine you. You deserve it, Dais.”
“I know.” I sigh. “But it just feels wrong.”
“Because of Kas?”
Cece knows everything that has happened between Kas and me. I’ve kept her up to speed on all current events in my life. I mean, she’s my best friend. I tell her everything.
Funny thing is, when I told her that Kas and I kissed, she didn’t seem at all surprised.
When I asked her why, she said—and I quote—“I’m not surprised because I’ve never seen you so riled up over a guy before, so it was obvious that you fancied him. And, well, you’re you. So, of course, he was gonna want to bone you.”
So, apparently, I’m obvious and boneable.
Just not boneable to Kas.
I’m beneath him. And not in a good way.
Sigh.
“Yeah. I mean, we kissed, and then I immediately said yes to going out with Cooper. It just feels wrong.”
“Kas blew you off. Sorry,” she adds at my wince. “But he acted like an arsehole. You don’t owe him a thing. And you definitely don’t have anything to feel weird about.”
“I know you’re right, but I still feel weird. And I know he’s avoiding me.” My shoulders slump.
She puts the curling iron down on the dressing table and rests her hands on my shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Babe, if Kas can’t see what he’d be getting in you, then he’s a dick. A massive dick.” She sizes her hands out before landing them back on my shoulders. “You’re awesome, Mayday. Funny and smart and beautiful.”
“And an ex-con.”
“Hush.” She frowns at me. “You’re gorgeous, and obviously, Cooper thinks so because he asked you out. And tonight is just drinks with a good-looking, nice guy. It doesn’t have to be anything more. But you will go tonight, looking your absolute best because I’m awesome at hair, and I’m an awesome friend.” She gives me a grin and fluffs my hair with her hand.
Staring gratefully at her in the mirror, I reach back and take ahold of her hand, giving it a squeeze. “You are awesome, Ce. You’re the best.”
“I know.” She grins again. Then, she picks up the curling iron and wraps another section of my hair around it.
My phone starts to ring on my dressing table. I glance at the display and see that it’s Cooper.
My stomach tightens with nerves.
“Hey,” I answer. “I’m just getting ready. I shouldn’t be much longer.”
“Daisy”—he sounds flustered and a little out of breath—“I am so sorry to do this to you at the last minute, but I’m going to have to cancel our night out.”
A huge amount of relief and also a little disappointment run through me at the same time. “It’s okay. Don’t worry.”
“No, it’s not okay.” His tone is frustrated. “I was really looking forward to tonight with you, but now, I’m in my car, on my way back to work. Somehow, all the horses got out and are running amok around the estate.” He sighs loudly. “I’m gonna have to round them up and then fix wherever they got through in the fence. It’s gonna take all bloody night.”
“Do you want me to come help?”
“Don’t worry.” His tone softens. “But thank you for offering.” There’s a brief pause before he says, “Rain check for tomorrow night? Same time?”
This is my out. I can say no…but I feel bad because the guy seems to really want to go out for a drink with me. So, I hear myself saying, “Sure.”
“Great.” I can practically hear his smile down the phone. “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you then.”
I hang the phone up with Cooper and put it back down on the dressing table.
“That was Cooper. He had to cancel, so I’m not going out tonight after all.”
“Bastard,” she says in a mock-angry voice.
“You heard the whole conversation?”
“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to listen in, but it was kinda hard not to hear. But he asked you out again for tomorrow night, right?”
I give her a sly smile. “You know he did. And you also know that I said yes.”
Grinning, she says, “Attagirl.” Then, she winds another section of my hair around the curling iron. “And screw not going out tonight. We’re having a girls’ night out. It’s been way too long since you and I hit up the town. So, I’ll finish up doing your hair, then give me half an hour to put my face on, and we’ll go out. We can go to this new club in town. What do you say?”
A night out on the town with my girl…sounds perfect.
I smile at her in the mirror. “I say…hell yeah.”
Twenty-Two
Zayn’s “Like I Would” is pumping through the club. I have a drink in my hand. And I’m totally feeling out of my element.
I’ve never really been a party girl. Having a younger brother to care for meant nights out were a rarity for me.
Honestly, I’m kind of ready to go home. My feet ache, and I’m tired. Plus, I’ve got work in the morning. But Cece’s enjoying herself, and I don’t want to be a party pooper.
We went to a few bars before coming to this club, which I’ve totally forgotten the name of.
Cece’s just at the bar, getting more drinks. I tip my head back, checking on her, and see she’s chatting with some guy who’s in line next to her.
He looks cute.
I finish the last of my drink and put the glass down on a nearby table.
Then, I get this weird prickly feeling on the back of my neck, like someone’s watching me. It’s been happening to me all night.
I spin my head around, looking, but I can’t spot anything—or should I say, anyone watching me. Not that I could tell in this place anyway. It’s packed. I rub a hand over the back of my neck, easing the sensation away.
Honestly, I’m starting to think I’m going mad.
I glance back at Cece. She looks to be in deep conversation with the cute guy.
Deciding I need
the toilet, I catch her eye and mouth, Restroom break, to her.
She points to the floor, telling me she’ll be there when I get back.
I give her a thumbs-up and then head in the direction of the ladies’ toilets.
I make my way through the throng of people and head down the corridor to the restroom. The sign at the end of the hallway points an arrow to the left for men and right for women and disabled.
It’s kind of eerie here. The lighting is shitty, and the bass is thumping off the walls, making it feel like a scene out of a Z-list horror movie.
Reaching the end of the hall, I turn right, and my steps falter as my heart picks up pace.
Kas.
He’s standing near the disabled restroom, his shoulder leaning up against the wall.
He’s wearing blue jeans and a white shirt. His shirtsleeves are rolled up, showing his gorgeous forearms—I might have a thing with his arms—and his hair is loose and tucked behind his ears.
He looks amazing.
But, whatever, I don’t care.
What I do care about is what he’s doing here.
“What are you doing here?” I echo my thoughts.
He pushes off the wall, so he’s standing upright. “Hello to you, too.”
I give him a look. “Hello. Now, what are you doing here?”
He tilts his head to the side. “I needed to use the restroom.”
“I meant, the club. But, whatever, the men’s room is back that way.” I thumb in the direction of it.
A smile tips the corners of his lips up. He folds his arms around his chest. The fabric of his shirt tightens around his biceps, and the veins in his forearms are visible…and looking very lickable.
But I don’t care.
Yeah, sure, you don’t, Daisy.
“Where’s your date?” he asks.
I have a sudden flash of guilt, my heart jumping, but suspicion quickly takes over.
I narrow my gaze on him. “How did you know I had a date tonight?”
He shrugs those amazing shoulders of his. “I’m the boss. I hear things.”
“Well then, you should know that my date was canceled because your horses got loose, and my date had to go round them all up.”
“Yeah. Shame that.”
Mother…effer.
“You sound real cut up about it.”
The corners of his lips lift, as does his shoulder.
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