PRAISE FOR THE NEARLY GIRL
A playful exploration of human oddities, de Nikolits’ latest book asks: What are the consequences when we deviate from the norm? Centred around Amelia, a young woman who only nearly gets things right in life — she catches the wrong bus or shows up on the wrong day — The Nearly Girl features a cast of misfits who are all engaged in various forms of self-improvement. With her mother trying endlessly to improve her body and her tortured genius poet father always awaiting the voice of brilliance to speak to him, Amelia and her family are anything but ordinary. But perhaps the most compelling characters are found in Amelia’s therapy sessions, where hoarders, recluses, and claustrophobes alike come together in an enchantingly eccentric group seeking the help of an unorthodox psychotherapist. Yet, we learn from de Nikolits, sometimes self-acceptance is better than change. The story builds with cinematic suspense and surprises, but one thing is for sure: The only crazy thing in this world is trying to be normal.
—JILL BUCHNER, Canadian Living Magazine
In her latest novel, the The Nearly Girl, Lisa de Nikolits takes us deep into the complex workings of an extraordinary mind. Amelia Fisher, the protagonist of de Nikolits’ latest offering, reminds readers of the importance of passion and adventure in a world that wishes to keep our wilder urges contained. Like a modern-day Joan of Arc, Fisher’s attempts to carve out a “normal life” take her to the fringes of social acceptability, showing us how mythic the idea of “normal” really is. Through a story that surprises, page after page, The Nearly Girl will take readers on an unexpected adventure, where the lines between the rational and irrational are blurred. From hoarding to the fear of public speaking, this psychiatric thriller excavates the phobias, idiosyncrasies, and character oddities that make us human at the core.
—ANDREA THOMPSON, author of Over Our Heads
The Nearly Girl by Lisa de Nikolits is a clever, fast-paced, and enjoyable read with a cast of quirky characters. They range from Henry the supremely creative poet to his estranged body-building wife and her reliable and loving mother, from the not-quite-right psychiatrist Dr. Carroll, who applies his unorthodox cognitive behavioural therapy research called d.t.o.t. (Do The Opposite Thing) to the lovable misfits who populate his required class. And then there’s Amelia, Henry’s daughter in so many ways, who attributes her inability to conform to the norms of society to her fear of being boringly normal. The novel traces Amelia’s life, from her eccentric childhood love of birthday parties outside in the freezing rain to her current predicament of having to take Dr. Carroll’s advice to retain the funding that finances her thesis on the unconventional Joan of Arc. In the course of escaping Dr. Carroll’s clutches — in more ways than one — Amelia discovers her true self and encourages the reader to do the same.
—GINA BUONAGURO, co-author of The Wolves of St. Peter’s
The Nearly Girl is completely mesmerizing! Lisa de Nikolits’ tale of family dysfunction is chock full of comedy, drama, and page turning suspense. Anyone who has ever felt alienated by the unwritten rules and norms of society will find a kindred spirit in Amelia, the “Nearly Girl,” daughter of a female bodybuilder and a tortured poet, who believes that rainy days are just perfect for picnics on the beach and who fears that getting on the right bus will lead her to a dead end. Told with warmth and humour, and populated with vividly original characters, The Nearly Girl illustrates the importance of keeping the magic in an increasingly corporate, cookie-cutter world.
—HEATHER BABCOCK, author of Of Being Underground and Moving Backwards
From the first page you are taken on a rollercoaster ride of suspense, heartfelt compassion, humour, and moments of annoyance for what first appears to be inconsiderate and disrespectful behaviour on Amelia’s part. Then you find out she suffers from a genetic imbalance passed down from her father combined with extremist traits of her mom. Due to unexpected humour throughout this book, you become attached to this woman and her struggles, and even begin to see her amazingness. After years of accepting her fate as her cross to bear, she begins to enjoy the freedom from life’s responsibilities it gives her … until she can do so no longer with the threat of financial assistance being cut off. Necessity pushes her to try to take charge of her life and illness with a unique new therapy called d.t.o.t. (Do The Opposite Thing). Pretty easy to predict the outcome, right? Not at all! The fast-paced comical drama and antics of dysfunction within family and “family of choice” (friends/co-counselling buddies) leads into an unexpected turn of events when she and her current boyfriend stumble upon her trusted doctor’s secretive and very dark home life. This puts them both in grave danger and the rest you have to “read to believe.” An ending worth waiting for.
—CAROLYN SHANNON, Women of Worth Magazine.com
In The Nearly Girl, Lisa de Nikolits, author of Between the Cracks She Fell, has created another memorable heroine. Amelia Fisher, who can never quite do what she should, is the nearly girl of the title. The daughter of two incredibly dysfunctional parents, Amelia is required to attend a therapy group to help with her problem. The group’s leader, Dr. Frances Carroll, is the most dysfunctional character of all. His mantra, “Do The Opposite Thing,” has disastrous results. A very funny book.
—LYNNE MURPHY, contributing author to The Whole SheBang and Thirteen O’Clock
Amelia Fisher is a brilliant, beautiful, charming young woman who should have the future and world brightly gift-wrapped in her slender hands. However, she has to reconnect with her acid-dropping, addle-headed father, Henry, a man she hasn’t seen since childhood. Then there is her cognitive therapy group led by the unconventional Dr. Carroll, a man whose methods are either genius, or deeply damaging. This sprint-paced novel has it all from restraining orders to sex in office bathrooms, and a nail-biting ending! Lisa de Nikolits’ skill is proven in this dynamic rapid page-turner which enchants and delights readers with suspense and unforeseen twists and surprises!
—MICHAEL FRASER, author of The Serenity of Stone and To Greet Yourself Arriving
Playwright Henrik Ibsen wrote in 1881, “The sins of the fathers are visited upon the children.” Lisa de Nikolits updates this cautionary observation in her latest book, as the reckless life choices of a young woman and her narcissistic, drug-addled mate are visited upon their daughter. Beautifully told, The Nearly Girl softens its sting with convivial depictions of Toronto bohemians, before revealing the ugly aftermath of people shipwrecked upon the foolish choices of youth. The Nearly Girl is as bleak and beautiful as the Rosedale Ravine after a hail storm.
—ELAINE ASH, Editor, Walking the Dunes With Tennessee Williams
A fast-paced and illuminating story where endeavouring to conform to society’s perception of normal exposes the masks of illusion. Amelia Fisher’s unconventional upbringing with an lsd-addicted poet father and an emotionally distant body-building mother leads her to attending sessions with a crazy doctor, whose unorthodox method called d.t.o.t., or “Do the Opposite Thing,” has significant repercussions for his patients, including Amelia. A chance discovery propels Amelia and fellow attendee, Mike, with whom she is in love, into a life-threatening situation instigated by the doctor’s own dark secret. Hidden twists abound with growing tension culminating in a surprising ending.
—MANDY EVE BARNETT, published author & freelance writer
The Nearly Girl
Copyright © 2016 Lisa de Nikolits
Except for the use of short passages for review purposes, no part of this book may be reproduced, in part or in whole, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronically or mechanically, including photocopying, recording, or any information or storage retrieval system, without prior permission in writing fr
om the publisher or a licence from the Canadian Copyright Collective Agency (Access Copyright).
We gratefully acknowledge the support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ontario Arts Council for our publishing program. We also acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada.
Cover design: Lisa de Nikolits
Cover photography: Bradford Dunlop
eBook: tikaebooks.com
The Nearly Girl is a work of fiction. All the characters and situations portrayed in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
De Nikolits, Lisa, 1966-, author
The nearly girl / Lisa de Nikolits.
(Inanna poetry and fiction series)
Issued in print and electronic formats.
ISBN 978-1-77133-313-9 (paperback).-- ISBN 978-1-77133-314-6 (epub). --
ISBN 978-1-77133-315-3 (kindle).-- ISBN 978-1-77133-316-0 (pdf)
I. Title. II. Series: Inanna poetry and fiction series
PS8607.E63N43 2016 C813’.6 C2016-904853-5
C2016-904854-3
Printed and bound in Canada
Inanna Publications and Education Inc.
210 Founders College, York University
4700 Keele Street, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M3J 1P3
Telephone: (416) 736-5356 Fax: (416) 736-5765
Email: [email protected] Website: www.inanna.ca
The Nearly Girl
a novel by
Lisa de Nikolits
INANNA PUBLICATIONS AND EDUCATION INC.
TORONTO, CANADA
ALSO BY LISA DE NIKOLITS:
Between The Cracks She Fell
The Witchdoctor’s Bones
A Glittering Chaos
West of Wawa
The Hungry Mirror
To Bradford Dunlop.
And all the unusual people in this world.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
PART I: MEGAN AND HENRY (1986)
1. Megan and Henry
2. Henry
3. Megan
4. Megan and Henry and Amelia
5. Amelia
6. Family
PART II: AMELIA AND MIKE (2011)
7. Group Therapy: Session One
8. Group Therapy: Session Two
9. Amelia and Henry
10. Group Therapy: Session Three
11. Group Therapy: Session Four
12. Amelia and Mike
13. Group Therapy: Session Five
14. Dr. Carroll
15. Mike
16. Inside
17. Megan and Henry and Ethel
18. Group Therapy: Session Six
19. Dr. Carroll and Amelia
20. Rescue
EPILOGUE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
PROLOGUE
I PUSHED MY WAY INTO THE CAFÉ, cursing the November rain, cursing my glasses for steaming up, cursing my umbrella for showering my legs with icy droplets, and cursing the client who had moved our meeting back by two hours.
“Here! We’re over here,” one of my colleagues called out and she waved. I recognized her more by her voice than her vaselined outline and I stumbled toward their table.
“I hate this month,” I grumbled, trying to balance my umbrella against the wall, but it stubbornly fell against me, making sure it transferred its residual water onto my kneecaps.
Spencer, my boss, handed me a paper napkin and I dried my glasses.
“I got you your usual,” he said, pointing at a teapot.
“That’s black tea,” I said, sniffing the tea. “I drink green tea. And when have you ever seen me eat a chocolate chip cookie? You know gluten makes me ill. How many years have we worked together? You can’t remember green tea and gluten free?”
“You’re so grumpy,” Spencer noted. “I nearly got it right.” He leaned over and took my cookie.
“You just wanted that cookie for yourself,” I accused him and he laughed.
I took his latte and put the tea in front of him. “Here you go, Mr. Nearly,” I said and then I stopped as something suddenly occurred to me. I could vaguely hear Spencer objecting to our exchange, but I was trying to encourage a memory to move to the forefront of my mind.
“Earth to Jen, earth to Jen,” Spencer repeated, and he snapped his fingers in front of my face, a habit he knows I hate.
“I’m trying to remember something,” I said. “Wait…. Right, ‘the nearly girl,’ that’s what they called her. The nearly girl. I went to university with her, so this would have been about five years ago. She had this weird disorder and they made all kind of allowances for her because of it. She was doing her thesis on Joan of Arc. I remember that, too. Whoa, I haven’t thought about her in ages.”
I took a satisfying slug of Spencer’s latte and sat back. “She would have loved this weather,” I said. “She used to go the beach on days like this. In a T-shirt. She didn’t feel the cold and she didn’t get sick either. I liked her, but it was hard to be friends with her because she was so unreliable. Like, you’d make plans with her and then she would get on the wrong bus, so she wouldn’t show up. Or she’d take the right bus, but she’d show up on the wrong day.”
“Was she an anarchist?” Ana, the sales rep on our team, asked.
I shook my head. “No, it was a real psychological disorder. She had been diagnosed.”
“Convenient,” Spencer commented. “It must have been nice for her, to be able to do whatever she liked, whenever she liked, and get away with it, while the rest of us suckers have to play by the rules.”
“I don’t think it made her life easy,” I said. “It wasn’t like she was this free spirit with her head in the clouds. She had her torments and insecurities like the rest of us. And she was a dedicated student.”
“But how did she manage at university, being like that?”
“Like I said, they made allowances for her. Her father’s a famous poet. Henry Berlin.”
“Henry Berlin!” Spencer was impressed. “Did you ever meet him?”
“I did. I went to visit Amelia and he was there. He was so shy. He couldn’t look at me or talk to me, and he sort of vapourized into another room like a ghost if I was there.”
I sat back and rubbed my temples. “It’s all coming back to me,” I said. “There was a huge to-do about the therapist that Amelia had been seeing, and it was on the news for ages. He was infamous and, for a while, the media couldn’t talk about anything else.”
“What are you talking about?” Spencer asked. “Ana, do you have any idea what she’s prattling on about?”
Ana shook her head.
I checked my watch. “We’ve got time,” I said. “Do you want to hear the story? In a way it’s odd that I’ve never told you, since Amelia and I were close for a while. But then again, I haven’t thought about it, or her, in years.”
“We’ve got nothing but time,” Spencer yawned, leaning back in his chair. “Tell us a story, why not?”
“It starts with her parents,” I began. “Megan and Henry. Megan met Henry at a poetry reading….”
PART I:
MEGAN AND HENRY (1986)
1. MEGAN AND HENRY
MEGAN MET HENRY AT A POETRY READING one early October evening. The rain had been a steady downpour all day. It was the kind of dreary Sunday that soaked ennui deep into one’s bones, causing gloom to marinate in boredom and loneliness. So when a work colleague called and implored Megan to come to a poetry reading, she, on a whim, agreed.
“It’s also an open mic,” the friend said when they met. “There’ll be some weirdos. There are always weirdos at open mics. I’ve got a planet-sized crush on this writer called
Zimmerman Bob. He calls himself that as a protest to Bob Dylan having changed his own name. I think it’s ironic that that’s his way of protesting, since it means he’s changing his own name.”
“It is contradictory,” Megan agreed, not really sure but wanting to say the right thing. “Isn’t Bob Dylan old? Why does your poet even care what he did?”
“Bob Dylan’s only forty-five,” the friend said, which Megan thought was ancient. “And Zimmerman Bob is so in love with him! He calls Dylan the poet of the ages. Anyway, regardless of his stupid name, Zimmerman Bob has just released a collection of short stories that are being hailed by the critics as sheer genius. I’d lend you my copy, but he signed it and it’s my most precious thing. I mean, he inscribed it to me; he wrote my name, my actual name!”
“He asked you to come tonight? Why’s a short story guy reading at a poetry thing?”
Her friend shrugged. “It’s kind of a mixed lineup of readers. Zimmerman Bob didn’t personally invite me, but I saw a poster for it so I thought I’d go. I went to his book launch and there were hundreds of people. It was amazing.”
Megan pulled her scarf tight around her neck. “I’m glad to get out of my apartment,” she said. “I’ll sit and get quietly drunk while you ogle Bob Dylan.”
“You mean Zimmerman Bob,” her friend said dreamily. “Zimmerman Bob. Wait. Let’s have a quick smoke outside before going in. I bet he’ll be fashionably late and I can try to chat him up on his way in. If he even remembers me, which I doubt.”
They stood outside the pub smoking and stamping their feet to warm up. Megan’s feet were like ice blocks and she felt damp to the core.
“Look at that weirdo over there,” her friend said, and she pointed across the street with her cigarette. Megan’s eyes rested on what she thought was a long-haired angel: a blond, tall, barefoot, lean and muscular, T-shirt-wearing angel. He seemed otherworldly, even radiant, and he moved with effortless grace.
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