“I know,” he said. “See you soon?”
“See you soon?” She echoed his question and he left and she watched him through the window. She saw him drive away, his face intense with concentration and she saw a glimpse of the old man he would become. She thought it would be nice to watch him grow old and be by his side as he did.
She meandered home happily, trying to focus on the good things he had said and she avoided thinking about the ghost of Jane who hovered between them.
When she got home, she found her mother in a panic and her thoughts and dreams about her own day fled in a rush.
“Nana’s in hospital!” Megan said, greeting Amelia at the door and leading her quickly inside. Megan, a wrinkled, chain-smoking, muscle-bound tangerine, paced the room in a neon pink bikini and a cropped sheer white gown. “I took Nana to see the doctor,” she explained to Amelia. “And they immediately made her go to the hospital for tests. I had to take a class so I left her there. I should never had left her there by herself.”
To Amelia’s horror, Megan started crying and it sounded like she was having an asthma attack.
“Mom,” Amelia said gently, and she knelt down next to her mother who had collapsed on the sofa. “Mom, take little breaths, okay? Breathe out more than you breathe in. That’s right. Little breaths. That’s better. Now, go and get dressed into something less stripper-like and then we’ll go and see Nana.”
“You’re right. I must get changed.” Megan padded down the stairs and into her bedroom with Amelia following. Megan matched Amelia for disastrous messiness, and she picked up a pair of track pants off the floor.
“What’s wrong with Nana?” Amelia was afraid to ask.
“They don’t know. Something to do with her stomach. She’s got a blockage, they said, and they have to try to remove it. They even said she may need surgery tomorrow.”
“How do you know this? Did you speak to a doctor?”
“No. Nana phoned me. She sounded so calm. She even told me not to come back to the hospital today. As if.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
Megan looked dazed. “I don’t know. You were at therapy. And I wanted to try and be calm for when you got home, which obviously didn’t happen.”
“Does Nana need us to take her anything?”
“I don’t know, I never thought to ask.”
“If she went there thinking she’d be home soon, she probably didn’t take anything. I’m going to get her toothbrush and pack her slippers and her gown and pajamas.”
“We should take her some fruit.”
“Not if she’s being operated on tomorrow,” Amelia said. “She won’t be allowed to eat anything.”
“You’re right. You’re so much better with these things than me.”
“Nana trained me well,” Amelia said and she tried to smile. The thought of Nana in hospital had banished the joy that Mike had brought her.
She packed the bag and returned to find Megan still sitting on her bed. “Come on, Mom, let’s go.”
“We should tell your father. He loves her too,” Megan said and she started crying again.
“There’s nothing to tell yet. Come on, Mom. Find some shoes. Let’s go already.”
She finally got Megan bundled into the car, the car that Megan seemed unable to start.
“Mom! What’s going on with you?” Amelia looked her mother who was hugging the steering wheel and shaking.
“I hate hospitals,” Megan said. “I’m afraid of them. They put the fear of god into me. The last time I was in one was when I had you. That’s why I left Mom there earlier. I’m afraid to go back.”
“Get a grip, Mom. Nana needs us. We don’t have time for your drama.”
“When did you become such a nasty little bitch?” Megan sniped but she started the car and put it into drive. “I’ll be interested to see what you’re like when you’re my age and life’s given you a few knocks of your own.”
“I thought I was a gift, not a knock,” Amelia pointed out and Megan looked slightly shamefaced.
“You are, sweetie, you are. I meant losing my dad and Henry going screwy on me.”
“Dad was screwy when you met him,” Amelia commented and her mother gave her such a dark look that Amelia decided to shut up.
“And then Emilio turned out to be gay. He’s the only other man, apart from your father, that I have ever loved and he’s gay. That’s what I mean by knocks, Amelia. You’ll see.”
Amelia thought about Jane and she wanted to tell her mother that she already had an inkling, but she wasn’t in the mood to talk about it, and certainly not with her mother.
They drove to the hospital in silence and Amelia thought about how familiar the place was becoming.
“Here we are. Mom, no hysterics, please. Promise me. This is about Nana, not you.”
“I am an adult,” Megan said, affronted, but as soon as she caught sight of her mother in a hospital gown, she dissolved into a fit of tears. Ethel was asleep, fragile-looking and vulnerable and Amelia found tears rising to the back her of throat too.
“Please take my mom outside,” Amelia said to the nurse. “I don’t want her upsetting Nana.” The nurse nodded and led an unprotesting Megan away.
“Nana?” Amelia said softly. “I brought you your jammies.”
Ethel opened her eyes and smiled. “Thank heavens. Come on, child. Let’s get me out of this ridiculous nonsense that they call a gown.”
Amelia helped Ethel get dressed and she was dismayed to see how thin her grandmother had become. “Nana, look at you. You are skin and bone. I feel terrible. I never noticed.”
“I didn’t want to worry anyone, so I wore more layers. I thought it was something that would go away and that I would put the weight the back on.”
“What did the doctors say?”
“It’s a blockage. They have to operate.”
“I’ll stay with you the whole time.”
“You don’t need to do that. I’m fine.”
“You may be fine but I’m not. And Mom’s a mess.”
Ethel laughed. “I’m sure she is.” She tied her dressing gown tightly. “I’m so glad you brought my things. I feel so much more human in my own clothes. Besides, I was freezing wearing that oversized dishcloth. You brought my toothbrush, that’s just lovely. My teeth feel like a lawn that needs mowing.”
Ethel gingerly made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth while Amelia went to find the nurse to ask her if she had an update on Ethel’s results.
Ethel still had a mouthful of foam when Megan, somewhat more composed, rushed into the tiny washroom and clung to her mother. “I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you,” she wailed. “I am sorry I’m such a selfish horrible daughter. You can’t die. I need you too much.”
Ethel spat into the sink and rinsed her toothbrush. “I’m not going anywhere,” she said. “Now get off me. You’re heavy, Megan.”
“Are you telling me I’ve put on weight? Jeez, thanks Mom, when I’ve a competition coming up too.”
“Meggie, I’ve got the strength of a half-starved sparrow right now, that’s all I’m saying. A Q-tip feels heavy.”
Amelia came back and helped Ethel into the bed and Megan rubbed her temples.
“I’m sorry, Mom, There I go again: me, me, me. Listen, do you need me to stay? I’m supposed to take a class in an hour but I can get someone to sub for me.”
“No, you go on. I’ve got Amelia here with me. I’m fine.”
“Good! Amelia, you will phone me if there’s anything?”
“Will do, Mom, but they’ve said that the operation is not tomorrow, but the day after, so we’ve got some waiting time ahead.”
“I should tell Henry,” Megan said and Amelia agreed.
“I’ll see if he’s in any state to come back to the hospital with
me later,” Megan said. “But he’s close to finishing a collection and that’s never a great time for him, as we know too well.”
Megan left and Ethel and Amelia looked at each other with relief.
“So, dear,” Ethel patted the blanket on the bed. “Come and sit next to your Nana and tell me the gossip about today’s group. Was it crazier than the last one?”
“Oh Nana! You have no idea! It’s like a soap opera, only worse, and this is real life!”
“Start at the beginning and don’t leave anything out,” Ethel ordered. “And I mean the bits about you and Mike too.”
Amelia blushed and told her gran the whole story in detail. But she did leave out one bit — how she and Mike had meditated with the raisin.
The doctors removed the blockage and kept Ethel in hospital for a further week. Amelia, while relieved that Nana was on the mend, was distressed that she hadn’t heard from Mike. “He’s taken my heart and slain it upon a butcher block,” she told Ethel.
Ethel, propped up and pale, tried to reassure her. “Breaking up is hard to do, dear. Particularly with them having been together that long. I think it speaks very well of him that he won’t just ditch her, or that he can’t. Imagine if it was you, in love with him and thinking that the two of you were going to be together forever and then hearing that it was over.”
“Over because he met some nutcase during therapy at a hospital,” Amelia added. “But Nana, how will I even face him at group today? “
“Be strong, dear. I know it’s so easy for me to say, but you can’t let him see how hurt you are. He hasn’t earned that right. “
Amelia nodded. “I’ll come and see you right away after group,” she told Ethel.
“Unless Mike wants to take you somewhere,” Ethel said but Amelia shook her head. She knew better.
And she was right.
13. GROUP THERAPY: SESSION FIVE
MIKE WAS WAITING FOR HER IN THE CORRIDOR outside the therapy room. “I am so sorry, Amelia,” he said. “I couldn’t tell her this week. But don’t give up on me, please don’t.”
She shook his hand off hers. “Don’t sit next to me,” she said, and her eyes filled with tears despite her assurances to Ethel that she would not let her pain show. She pushed past Mike, strode into the room and found a seat in between Angelina and Persephone.
Amelia dug into her bag for her notepad, noticing as she did that there was a new woman in the group. She turned to Angelina, signaling her question with her eyebrows raised.
Angelina laughed. “It’s Shannon,” she said. “She went blonde like Alexei told her to!”
Amelia stared and Shannon laughed.
“You like it?” Shannon tossed her head from side to side. “I got bangs too. I love it! I feel amazing, so sexy. I wish I’d done this years ago.”
“Very nice,” Amelia muttered and she opened her notebook.
Dr. Carroll arrived and took roll call. “Where’s Alexei?” he asked.
“He got arrested,” Joanne said. “He kept following me to work and threatening to beat me up unless I promised to leave Whitney and the group. Eventually, I had to call the cops on that crazy Russian bastard.”
“He’s not coming back to group?” Shannon was aghast. “But I changed my hair like he said.”
“Shannon, are you not hearing me?” Joanne asked. “Alexei is nuts. You don’t want to have anything to do with him.”
“That’s not for you to decide,” Shannon said and Dr. Carroll held up a hand.
“Shannon, wait for a moment, please. I need to hear what happened. Is he still in custody?”
Joanne shook her head. “He’s been released but I am pressing charges.”
“He only has himself to blame,” Whitney piped up. “He challenged her to a bare knuckle fight in the parking lot, with her colleagues watching. It was just after work and everybody was leaving and I was waiting for Joanne.”
“What happened then?” Dr. Carroll asked.
Joanne chuckled. “I hit him in the goonies. He dropped like a stone. Not a clean fight, but he’s crazy, I had no choice.”
“Everybody at work thinks she’s such a hero,” Whitney said, her eyes shining.
“He was released on bail?”
Joanne nodded.
Dr. Carroll sighed. “I’ll try to get in touch with him later. Persephone, how are you feeling? Any more post-traumatic stress symptoms following Gino and the gun incident?”
She smiled. “No. I’m good. You were very kind and understanding, Dr. Carroll. I’m fine.”
“I’m sick of this,” Shannon said and she stood up. “I don’t want to be here any more. I’ll send you a cheque, Dr. Carroll. I’m out.” She stormed out before anyone could say anything or try to stop her.
Dr. Carroll watched her leave. “Natural attrition,” he said. “Moving on. David, I’d like to focus on you for a bit. Please tell us honestly, how have things been with you?”
“The same. Bad. Really bad.”
“Let’s take a moment to chat about what’s going on and see if we can help you. David, I haven’t asked you this but what does your company produce?”
“We provide a range of office furniture for the small business entrepreneur who wants to start up his or her own office.”
“I’ve seen you on TV!” Angelina said, her chins jiggling with excitement. “I thought you looked familiar. Your furniture looks like it’s from IKEA. It comes in those kinds of parts, but then you send people to assemble it in their offices. You don’t leave them to figure it out by themselves.”
“I design everything myself too,” David said, proudly.
“But I thought, from the ads, that your business must be doing very well,” Angelina said.
“It was, but it’s going down the tubes, I can feel it. I’m not being neurotic, there are things I can’t control and I’m losing my grip.”
“David,” Dr. Carroll said, standing up. “I think it’s time for a field trip. We, all of us, need to go and see you in action. Let’s go to your office!”
David paled. “Out of the question. I think that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard. You’ll embarrass me and then my business will be kaput for sure.”
“You’re right, we need to make a plan first before we go rushing in,” Dr. Carroll said, and he sat down, drumming his fingers on his knees. “Let’s say Joanne wants to start a gym—”
“In which case, she’d need gym equipment, not office equipment,” David pointed out.
“But she’d need office equipment too,” Dr. Carroll said. “All businesses do. Whitney, you could be Joanne’s girlfriend and you can pretend to be a decorator.”
“I am a decorator.” Whitney was insulted. “I told you that before.”
“Persephone and Angelina, you’re investing in the gym and want to see that the funds are being well spent. Ainsley, you’re going to be the receptionist, so you need to make sure you like the colour and fit of the chairs and desks.”
“What abut us?” Mike and Amelia asked.
“You’re Whitney’s kids, along for the ride, so no incestuous lovely-dovey stuff.”
“I’m not that old,” Whitney protested.
“And who will you be, Dr. Carroll?” Mike asked.
“I’m not sure yet but I will think of something. David, are your employees at work right now?”
“Yes.” David looked pale and sweaty and he wiped his forehead. “Listen, Dr. Carroll, stop. This is the worst idea I have ever heard. I think you’re mad. I don’t want to do this.”
“Trust me,” Dr. Carroll said. “You want to get better, don’t you? Give us the rundown on who’s who in your workplace.”
David sighed. “Cathy’s the receptionist and the bookkeeper, and by the way, she’s also my wife. Jeff and John are the sales guys. John is Cathy’s brother. Then there’s the carp
enter, Nick, and he’s Jeff’s brother.”
“Very tangled,” Dr. Carroll observed. “Mixing business and family is a highway to hell. How long have you had this business?”
“Fourteen years. It used to just be me, Jeff, and Nick. Jeff was my original sales guy, and Nick’s in charge of production. There’s another boy too, our social media specialist. He’s in charge of our Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram presence.”
“I wouldn’t have thought there would be much call for that in your sort of business?” Joanne asked.
“There isn’t really. But he’s John’s son and Cathy’s nephew and since he can’t find a job, they said he should be our social media expert.”
“I am reconsidering,” Dr. Carroll said. “We’re a team of specialists, brought in to ascertain the success and, or, failure of the current business model. You, David, the general manager, have brought us in to determine the efficiency of current business practices. Does anybody know you come to this group today?”
“Yeah, they know I have a regular appointment so it would be really weird if a group of us walked in together on the day I have therapy.” David sounded desperate in his efforts to stop Dr. Carroll.
Dr. Carroll held up his hand. “David,” he said. “Calm down. We won’t do anything without your full consent. We are just brainstorming, okay? Bantering, if you will. It’s all hypothetical at this point. The central most important thing you have to first ask yourself is this: do you truly want to make a change? I asked Angelina the same thing and she replied very honestly that the answer was no. But how about for you? Are you ready to make changes, real fundamental changes to your life?”
“God, yes,” David said. “The thing is, this is my business. At least it used to be until it was taken over two years ago by Cathy and her family, and sales have been plummeting ever since. I’d keep Jeff, my original sales guy, and Nick the carpenter. I can do the rest. Cathy’s bookkeeping is creative to say the least. She keeps finding ways to lend her family money that never gets paid back.”
“You’re looking to offload your wife, Cathy, her brother, John and his son, the social media guy, and then life will be good?”
The Nearly Girl Page 22
