“Mom,” Isabella said feeling terrible about her mom’s admission. “We decided this together.”
“But I’m the mother, the older one who’s supposed to be wiser—”
“I’m not a child,” Isabella cut her off before she could go on because she was just as much to blame for making such a hasty move. “I’m just as much an adult now, and you know very well why I was so anxious to move out here too. Why I’d rather we continue the struggle here than give up and go back to El Paso or even Mexico.”
They came to a stop, and Cido turned to her, staring at her strangely, but didn’t say anything. Isabella noticed his jaw go taut as he turned away, bringing his attention back to the road.
Augustine and Cido helped get everything up to the new little place they’d be calling home now. “It’s quaint,” her mom said, glancing around when they were finally left alone and they both took in their new living quarters.
Aside from the tiny bathroom Isabella was sure wasn’t even permitted, it was nothing more than one room with a sofa that opened up into a queen bed. Thankfully, Cido’s uncle had left a sofa bed behind when he’d moved out because, with the trailer having had everything built in, Isabella and her mom didn’t even own furniture. The stuff Cido and his cousin helped them move was mostly clothes, linens, a few personal belongings, and some kitchen stuff.
Their new kitchen consisted of a hot plate, a toaster oven, and a mini fridge. The only sink in the place was the one in their tiny bathroom. But then Octavio said, if there was ever anything they needed to cook that required a bigger kitchen, they were welcome to just go downstairs and use theirs. They could also use the one in the truck if it was during any time the truck was parked in the driveway and not out or at the commissary. The Ochoas had also welcomed them to use their washer and hang their clothes on the same clothes lines they hung their clothes.
Their “closet” was a clothes rack in a corner, and they had one small table with two chairs to eat on and sit aside from the sofa. “We’ll go treasure hunting this Saturday at the swap meet and see if we can find a used television and maybe a dresser.”
Remembering her mother’s comment about crying herself to sleep, Isabella nodded, smiling optimistically. “We’ll make do. It’ll be fine for now, and this is only temporary, remember? Anything is better than that trailer park.” She hugged her mom, and they began unpacking their few boxes of belongings.
Later that evening, when she and Cido were closing up the truck for the night, he dropped the news that strangled her heart.
“I hadn’t mentioned it before.” He wiped down the counter but noticeably didn’t look up. “I wasn’t going, to but because of what you said today on the way to the apartment, I thought maybe I should.”
Isabella turned to him, not sure what he was talking about. “What I said?”
“Yeah.” He glanced up at her. “About why you moved out here to begin with and why you don’t wanna give up and go back to El Paso or Mexico.” Now she remembered; then he nodded. “So, I’m assuming Alej is why you wanted to move out here and by give up you mean on finding him.”
Swallowing hard, she stared at him, even as he went back to focusing on the counter instead of facing her. “Something like that. I mean, yeah, it would’ve been nice to reunite with him, but my mom and I also fell in love with the San Diego area way back when we first came out to Sea World. We worked really hard to save up to make this move, so it’d suck if we had to just give up on this dream and move back.”
Cido scraped the grill with the spatula. “I’m not telling you this to hurt you or anything. You know I’d never want to hurt you.” He turned to her as she braced herself, taking in what he just said and the remorseful expression on his face. “As far as I know I’ve never heard you talk about dating anyone since you started working for us. I mean you spend most your time off with me or at school, so I’m assuming you haven’t dated anyone since . . .”
She shook her head, feeling pathetic, but was honest. “I haven’t.”
He peered at her for a hard second before going back to scraping the grill. “In the short time me and my dad worked with Alej and his dad, he and I went out a few times, and he hooked up with girls each time. You know him. He was always popular with the ladies, and it was no different here. He was juggling them two, three at a time.” Isabella’s insides went hollow as something squeezed her heart. “It’s why I’ve mentioned the possibility of him having moved back to Mexico.” He finally stopped scraping the grill again and made eye contact with her. “That was over two years ago, Isa. He probably gave up the struggling business, went back to Mexico, and started a family by now.”
Over the past several months, since Isa and her mom had moved into their new place, things between Isabella and Cido had become complicated. He’d become increasingly territorial especially after they’d moved into that apartment behind his house. On the one hand, while the subject had come up only once about his feeling more for her, Isabella had made it clear she didn’t want to ruin their friendship and she didn’t feel ready for it to be anything more.
He said he’d be patient, but truth was Isabella knew she’d never be ready for anything more with him. It’d be just too weird. Only she felt so indebted to him. It was because of him and Octavio that both she and mother had jobs and were out of that damn trailer park. So, she didn’t see how she could be completely honest about the way she really felt. The need to feel independent was beginning to suffocate her. And even though she still didn’t feel even the slightest desire to try and meet anyone and move on with her life, she knew there was no way that would ever happen as long as she was living there without things getting ugly. She’d seen that side of Cido more than once now when men got a little friendly with her in front of him. So, in a way, as long as she was there, it was almost as if she was agreeing not to see anyone else. Like she’d given into and was okay with him acting like he she was his girl.
To top it off the plumbing in the crap ass apartment they lived had gone out. Isa and her mom had had no choice but to agree to move into the front house with Cido and his dad. To make things worse, it seemed Octavio had also began acting like she and Cido had something going. At least that’s how it felt. He spoke to her and of her to others like she was his soon to be daughter-in-law. As if he either assumed she’d been promised to his son already or Cido had maybe told him he intended on marrying her. Her mom suggested she neither confirm nor deny that she’d be going along with what felt like an unspoken understanding at least until they made a solid decision about their uncertain future.
Cido was now scheduling himself and Isabella together all the time. He drove her to and from the truck commissary when they were handling the morning shifts. Then when his dad and her mother relieved them, he drove her back home in their car. He was even driving her and her mom to the grocery store, and since there didn’t seem to be in any rush to work on the plumbing in their apartment, Isa and her mom had started preparing all the meals at the home they all shared now.
“If you feel this strongly about this, Isa,” her mom said in a hushed voice as they lay in bed talking one night. “We’ll start looking for other jobs again. I don’t know about you, but I stopped looking once we were hired on with them. I hadn’t anticipated on things getting weird between you and Cido. But if it makes you this uncomfortable, I’ll start. It’s just that look at where we’re at, mija. We’re in their home. A home where they pay all the bills. They’re our bread and butter. I’m not saying you need to agree to anything or that gives him the right to do anything more with you. I’m just saying until we can figure out what we’re going to do, maybe you just don’t tell him how you really feel.”
“It’s not even like I can’t see myself with a guy like him, Mom.” Isabella insisted. “He’s good to me. He’s a hard worker and has done so much for us. I actually enjoy my time around him. I even find him attractive. I just . . .” She exhaled, feeling the warm tears well in her eyes, and she was glad the lig
hts were off because she didn’t want to upset her mom. “I know it sounds crazy because it’s been years. For all I know, Alejandro is married and has moved on, maybe even has a family so he wouldn’t care. But I don’t know why it feels so wrong, like such a betrayal. He and Cido were best friends for so many years.”
She felt her mom squeeze her shoulder. “It doesn’t sound crazy, Mija. Everybody has a soulmate. For some reason, some soulmates go their whole lives never meeting each other. They either end up alone forever because, somehow, they knew everyone they met wasn’t the one. Or they confuse the one and either just conform to never truly being happy or end up divorced several times until, ultimately, they just give up. It’s why so many are stuck in loveless marriages or just never get the marriage thing right. I think you met the one very young and will forever know it. So, a part of you will always feel the void, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ever be happy. Some people do make it work, even if they know the person they’re with is not the one. It’s sad, but I really believe that’s true.”
She rubbed Isa’s arm and then squeezed her shoulder again. “I’ll go along with whatever you want. If you want us to find new jobs and leave the Ochoas behind, then we will. But I promise you this, Mija. If you think you can be happy with Cido, you shouldn’t worry about it feeling wrong. You deserve to be happy and even Alejandro would never want anything less for you. But it’s completely up to you. All I want is to see you happy.”
Despite her mother’s words about Cido, it was then that she decided to move forward with the goal she’d been working on even before they’d moved out of the trailer park. They had enough saved up now for a first and last on a likely tiny but decent apartment they could call their own. But she wanted complete independence from the Ochoas and that meant getting another job. She was so close to completing her certificate program. It was perfect because whenever Cido asked about it, she said she was doing it to help out with his business.
Their temporary stay at the Ochoa’s had gone on too long. Either the plumbing work in the apartment was purposely stalled or the initial job when Octavio and his brother installed the bathroom was so bad it was taking that long to fix. Either way, Isabella and her mom felt like they lived in the Ochoa home now, and that just felt unacceptable to Isabella. They were even doing the men’s laundry, and it truly felt like they were the women of the house while their men took care of the landscaping outside and any manly things that needed to be done to the house. Even the neighbors, who didn’t know the whole dynamic of their relationships, had already made assumptions. Both she and her mom had been referred to as Señora Ochoa on more than one occasion.
Isabella had already secretly started looking for an apartment. But feeling indebted to the Ochoas because they had done a lot for her and her mother, she held off searching for another job just yet. The San Diego annual truck festival was coming up, and she knew Cido and his family would need all the help they could get. This was big for them. Last year was the first Isabella and her mom had been part of the crew. It was a long day last year, so Isabella was bracing herself.
~*~
Cido had gone to pick up the truck early that morning because the night before he’d been concerned with one of the burners on the stove. It’d been too late to work on it, so he said he’d do it this morning.
Isabella and her mom prepared coffee and ran to the corner panderia for pan dulce and fresh taleras for the day. Octavio didn’t want them to run out as they had last year. She and her mother worked diligently to pack up the boxes they’d be putting in the truck for the festival.
Lost in thought as she packed, Isabella pondered the conversation she’d finally worked up the nerve to have with Cido a few days ago. They’d been wrapping things up in the truck for the night when she forced herself to just do it.
“Finally got enough saved up for a first and last.”
Cido turned to her, looking confused. “First and last?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, pretending to be utterly engrossed in her cleaning. “First and last month’s rent on an apartment.”
Instantly, Cido’s scraping of the grill had ceased, and Isabella turned to look at him. “You’re moving out?”
Laughing nervously, Isabella glanced away from him and continued wiping down the work bench, glad it was so greasy. “That’s always been the plan, Cido. Did you think my mom and I would mooch off you and your dad forever?”
“Who said you’re mooching?”
“Well, we don’t pay you nearly as much as I know we should be paying.” Again, with the stupid nervous laugh as she allowed herself to glance back at him. “But we need our own place.”
“Why?”
“Cido.” She cleared her throat. “We may not have had the big dreams like you and uh . . . Alejandro always did about coming out here to start your businesses. But we did have a dream, and that was to come here for a better life, but most importantly to make it on our own. When we approached my aunts about taking the leap of faith with us, they were completely against it, said it was way too risky. We sort of have something to prove now, not just to them but to ourselves. Especially because when we first got here it felt like we’d made the biggest mistake ever. You heard my mom mention crying herself to sleep. I want her to feel good about the risk she took and that despite the obstacles we were able to hustle and make it—on our own.” She reached out to touch his arm. “We’ll be eternally grateful to you and your father for giving us that boost we needed when we almost gave up. But we need to do this.” Continuing to stare at her, Cido looked almost hurt. “Oh, come on. It’s not like we’d be moving far away. We’ll have to find a place close by so we could take the bus into work every day.”
He was immediately shaking his head. “Don’t worry about that, Isa. We can still pick you guys up. It’s just . . .” He shrugged before going back to his scraping. “I just thought you were happy here.”
“I am. We are,” Isabella chewed the corner of her lip, determined to not back down. “My grandmother was a very independent woman, and she passed that independence down to both of us. When we agreed to move to the apartment above your garage, we were both adamant that it would only be temporary, and that time has come.”
Maybe it was that the conversation had gone better than she’d anticipated, but Isabella was feeling strangely encouraged. As stunned as Cido had been about her announcing she was looking into moving out of his place, he seemed to understand and accept her explanation about why she needed to. While her looking into moving out so far had only consisted of her circling ads in the paper, she hadn’t actually made any calls or gone out to look at any places, but it was a start. As daunting as it felt to think about taking that terrifying leap of faith—again—she was seriously considering doing it real soon. It’s why she’d decided to put it out there the way she had.
So far, it’d been one excuse after another since she gotten certified for why they had to wait. Isabella wanting to be there for Cido and his family to help out with the festival had been her latest reason for her putting off looking for another job and their move. With this festival upon them now, she knew her reasons were running out. As formidable as the thought of starting all over again felt, each passing day she woke in the Ochoa’s home with a tenuous sense that an imminent shift in her life was about to take place. It was as exciting as it was eerie.
Capítulo 16
Tectonic Shift
Four Years
Seven months
Three weeks
Two days
Since she last heard from Alejandro
Isabella
Just like last year the food truck festival was packed. They were busy from the moment they parked and opened for business. Cido and his family were beyond pleased with how well the day was going. Isabella and her mother among the other workers had barely enough down time to make runs to the bathroom and gulp down a bite of food here and there. But Isabella was happy for Cido and his dad. Not halfway through the day, they’d
declared they’d made more of a profit than they had the entire day at the festival last year. And last year had been a huge success. Which meant they’d be sitting pretty for a few months. It made Isabella feel less guilty about knowing she and her mother would be moving out soon.
She still hadn’t decided how soon she’d start looking for another job, if at all. Being certified now, it just made sense that she’d be looking to advance her career further than a taco truck worker. But she still felt bad about leaving Cido and his dad high and dry in need of not one but two new employees. Because if Isabella made a break from this life, it’d be a clean one. Her mother would be making it with her. Once she did, she wanted to give Cido no reason to feel entitled when it came to her life.
More than once throughout the day as Isabella had stood in the truck working fast to prep the food, she found herself zoning out as she gazed out the window at the endless rows of food trucks. The possibility that Alejandro and his dad might be in attendance with their own truck was a viable one. This was the biggest food truck festival in California. If Alej and his dad were still in the US, no doubt they’d want to be part of this. She’d thought of that last year when she’d been here. But to her disappointment, even when she’d walked around during one of her breaks, there’d been no sign of them. Of course, she’d likely only had time to scan a quarter of the festival. The place with huge.
Even today as they’d driven in and set up, Isabella had craned her neck in every direction on the off chance she might spot a truck bearing the Moreno name. But no such luck. She hated to think it, but maybe Cido was right. Maybe they had given up on the dream and gone back to Mexico.
“How’s that burner working?”
Pulled out of her thoughts, Isabella glanced at Cido then down at the stove she was working over. “So far so good.”
“Just keep an eye on the fire.” He bent over to peer under the burner. “I couldn’t get the fire to stay on each time this morning. Must be clogged somewhere. See.” He turned the burner knob off. “It just went off again.” Grabbing the box of matches, he frowned. “You smell that?”
Moreno's: Moreno Brother's prequel (Moreno Brothers) Page 14
