Truth was, despite this being a time in his life when he should be fawning over his pregnant wife and thoughts of becoming of father should be at the forefront of his mind, that was hardly the case. Carmela was showing now, and it excited her. It should excite him too.
It wasn’t that the idea of becoming a father wasn’t one he’d since embraced. He was just so consumed with other thoughts that it drowned out any other reflections and feelings. Even now, he didn’t feel nearly as worried about this as he knew he’d be if this was Isa. He felt like a dick even admitting it to himself. But he reasoned that his father hadn’t seemed too concerned either. He said pregnant women faint sometimes and that he shouldn’t worry too much.
“Nothing a little smelling salt won’t fix.”
He’d calmly assured Alej she’d be fine, and he should remain calmado. But yes, he absolutely needed to go be by her side. Even as he pressed down on the gas pedal a little harder, thoughts of what a mad man he’d be driving like if this were Isa, despite his father’s reassurance, plagued him. Of course, he’d get every fucking red light all the way to the freeway, and then traffic was a bitch when he finally did jump on.
He’d had way too much time to think as he’d sat in the bumper-to-bumper traffic. By the time he drove into the hospital’s parking lot, Alej chastised himself for being such a shitty husband. He’d been in such a foul mood since the festival, and he knew Carmela had noticed. He kept having to inwardly reprimand himself for not being able to just snap the fuck out of it.
Walking into the hospital, he was determined to cut the crap. She’d likely be awake by the time he saw her, and he’d be the concerned doting husband she deserved.
No surprise, her parents, Maria and Pepe, were already there when he arrived at the waiting room. Their record store was right around the corner from the hospital. What did surprise and alarm him were her mother’s tears.
“What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Ay, Alej,” Maria said, standing from where she’d sat, wiping her nose with a tissue. “El bebé.”
She shook her head, unable to go on, and Alej turned to Pepe, who looked just as shook up. “She lost the baby?”
“Are you Mrs. Moreno’s husband?” A woman in full scrubs and gown stood at the open door of the waiting room.
“Yes,” he said as his heart spiked. “Did she lose the baby?”
Alej didn’t even know you could lose a baby this far into the pregnancy. Carmela had been reading up on it, and according to what she’d read, they’d passed the most dangerous mark weeks ago.
“Come on back where we can talk more privately.”
Following her into the doorway she’d been holding open, Alej felt the dread creep up his spine, but he welcomed it. This was where his head and thoughts should’ve been all this time, damn it. This marriage and pregnancy may not have played out ideally the way he would’ve planned it, but he’d accepted it, and his heart had completely embraced the idea that he’d have a child soon.
They walked into an office where another woman in scrubs sat behind the desk, and the woman who called him in closed the door behind her. She introduced herself as Dr. Nelson and then introduced the other doctor already in the room.
“This is Dr. Hadichi the OBGYN’s ER technician who performed emergency surgery to remove the fetus from your wife’s womb.”
“So, the baby’s alive?” he asked, hopeful that Maria had gotten it wrong, but Dr. Hadichi shook her head solemnly.
“No, have a seat, Mr. Moreno.” She pointed to one of the chairs in front of the desk she sat behind as the reality of how bad this was, began to hit him. “The fetus was in fetal demise when she arrived. But your wife was running a high fever, so we immediately suspected an infection, which meant we had to move fast. I’ll explain more about the surgery and the fetal demise later. Right now, Dr. Nelson should explain what’s going on with your wife.”
“I’m the neurologist on call today.”
“Neurologist?” Alej asked, not sure what that meant, but it sounded scary.
“Brain specialist,” she said, making his heart spike again; then she nodded, acknowledging Alej’s wide-eyed stare. “It seems the fetus had been dead for some time in womb. Something that can be toxic to the mother if it’s in there too long. At this point we can’t be sure, but Dr. Hadichi estimates it’d been at least twenty-four hours since it died. Long enough to cause the infection in the bloodstream and why she had such a high fever.” She paused for a moment as if to choose her next words cautiously. “She fell into a coma a few minutes after the fetus was removed.”
Alej’s jaw dropped and his heart raced. This was so much worse than he’d walked in thinking.
“That’s actually a good thing, Mr. Moreno. It gives the brain time to recover from any damage that may’ve been caused by the infection. Reduces the work of the brain cells. We suspect the infection had reached her brain and that’s usually why the body automatically goes into protective mode. While the rate of survival when something like this happens, especially to someone as young and healthy as your wife is a good one, I do need to inform you that there is a slight chance she might not come out of it.”
For as indifferent an asshole as he’d been acting like since the festival, Alej struggled to keep his lips from trembling. The tears were already dripping out the sides of his eyes.
“Do her parents know?”
They shook their heads. “All we were able to tell them when they asked about the pregnancy was that there no longer was one,” Dr. Hadichi explained. “We had to wait until you arrived per our privacy policy. As the husband, you call all the shots now when it comes to your wife, including who gets informed of her condition. Unless you sign off on them.”
Alej swatted tears away. How the fuck was he supposed to tell her parents? After they explained the treatment plan, what they’d be monitoring closely and the test results they were still waiting on, Alej’s cowardly ass asked if there was a phone he could use before heading out to the waiting room. As if they understood his hesitation to return to the waiting room where her oblivious parents were, Dr. Hadichi pointed at the phone on her desk, and they left the room to give him some privacy.
“She lost the baby and she’s in a coma,” Alej said as soon as his dad answered, his voice breaking in the process. “Her parents don’t know yet,” he went on, desperately trying to swallow back the emotion. “I don’t know how to tell them, Dad.”
“Coma, how? Why?”
Explaining quickly, Alej got back to his dilemma. “Her mom was already crying when I got here, and all she knows was that Carmela had lost the baby. How do I tell them?”
“You just do, Son,” his father said firmly. “Maybe you start off with what the doctor said about the coma being a good thing.”
His father told him to stay positive and that he and Lucia would meet him at the hospital in a few. As expected, Maria and Pepe were beside themselves. They insisted on seeing her, but because of her condition, she’d be in isolation for the first eight hours. After being there for several hours, knowing it’d be at least another five before he’d be let in to see her, Alej and his family left. Her parents did too but only to eat and said they’d be back after.
Alej couldn’t shake the guilt. Carmela was their only child. From what she’d told him, they’d completely spoiled her all her life. He wouldn’t even think about the possibility of her not making it. But he had kept to himself what else the doctors had touched on. Because of the emergency surgery they’d had to do to remove the fetus, there was a chance Carmela might not ever get pregnant again. Even if they got through this, with no further tragedies, they may never be grandparents.
Positive thoughts.
It’s what his dad kept saying when he’d see how down he was, and the inevitable tears would escape his eyes. He’d gone down to the hospital’s chapel several times in the time they’d spent there that day. He knew everyone was thinking he was there praying. He was, but he was also asking fo
r mercy. Praying to be forgiven for what felt like retribution for being such an ungrateful asshole. A penance he’d brought on himself. He was suffering the heartfelt grief over the loss of his unborn child, a gravely ill wife—a good woman he should be grateful she genuinely loved him—despite her not being the one.
As thoughts of his young wife in a coma were finally at the forefront of his mind and nothing else, the way it should be, Alej couldn’t help continuing to feel like he was being punished. All he could pray for now as he lay there in his bed, unable to sleep, was that, if God really worked in mysterious ways, this was his cruel way of slapping some sense into him.
Then the house phone ringing woke him just as he’d finally fallen asleep.
The wailing sobs of Maria at the funeral were something Alej knew he’d never forget, no matter how long he lived. The unplanned, completely unexpected, and at times unappreciated as it should’ve been, pregnancy, had taken the life of her only child. He was certain now that God had punished him for not valuing what so many men went their whole lives without experiencing.
The warmth and true love of a woman.
Alej had been blessed with experiencing it twice in his life, and he hadn’t appreciated the second one because of his persistence of reliving the first
After he got the call that Carmela’s lung had collapsed, he never even made it to the hospital to see her. Between her brain fighting the infection and her one struggling lung putting so much stress on her heart, it gave out before he got there.
His father’s dreams of opening up his restaurant in the US were put off for months so they could use the money instead to give Alej’s wife a proper burial. Even when her parents had insisted on paying for part of it, Alej and his father adamantly refused.
Despite the guilt of feeling like he’d been punished for being an ungrateful bastard, thoughts of Isa, even months after his wife’s death, still lingered. Alej was certain of it now. He’d been cursed. After being given a second shot of love, he’d pissed all over it, and now he was destined to live a miserable life of solitude. Because he was done. Even if technically he hadn’t been in love with Carmela, and nothing had proven that truer than seeing Isa again, his dad was probably right. He could’ve eventually grown to love her. No way would he try for a greedy third shot at love.
As he sat there again, across the street from one of the Ochoa’s catering trucks, Alej pondered what his dad had always harped about—no regrets. You learn from your mistakes and grow from them. Not dwell on them. Only now Alej didn’t know how the hell he was supposed to grow from the untimely death of his young bride. The only take he’d gotten out of the tragedy was that he’d never love another like he’d adored Isa. He wouldn’t bother trying to find someone whose life he might ruin as well.
The one thing he was grateful for, and he felt like the devil himself even thinking it, was, if this had been God’s cruel way of teaching him a lesson, as horrid as it’d been to go through, it would’ve been a million times worse had it been Isa. He would’ve never survived that, even if, in a different agonizing way, he had in fact lost her. He at least had the consolation of knowing that sweet angel’s presence still graced the Earth. He could still hope he might one day torture himself as he’d begun doing so weeks ago by trying to indulge in that beautiful smile, even if only from afar. Except so far, he hadn’t had any luck, and a part of him was beginning to wonder if catching a glimpse of her—with Cido—might not be too torturous.
Capítulo 18
Cruel Destiny
Isabella
It was the first time Isabella was seeing Cido since she’d moved out and taken a job at the swanky restaurant in Little Italy. Things had been a bit tense between them since she and her mother first moved into their new apartment. Before the festival, she’d given Cido the impression they wouldn’t be moving far. It’s what she’d really planned at the time. She had anticipated needing to be close because of the whole transportation thing. But after the blow at the festival, something that left her feeling completely destroyed, she knew being around Cido and working in his catering truck would be a constant reminder of Alejandro.
After feigning illness for weeks after the festival because she couldn’t even get out of bed without falling apart, she’d pretty much made up her mind. She needed to rid herself of everything that reminded her of her life with Alejandro. And that included their mutual childhood best friend. Even helping prepare some of the dishes she knew were Moreno recipes was too painful. Before the festival, it’d had just the opposite effect. It’d been a reminder that there would always be hope. Now that hope had been completely crushed.
But it wasn’t entirely due to Alejandro that she and her mother had decided they were doing this. Not that her mom had ever been opposed to moving. She’d always said she’d go along with whatever Isabella wanted. Which meant if she’d decided to stay with the Ochoas she’d be willing. Only after several more questionable incidents of the Ochoas possibly dipping into shady dealings, even her mom couldn’t get away from them fast enough. Not only had they replaced the catering truck that was a total loss too quickly after the festival, within weeks, they had two more trucks. Cido had said, between the insurance replacing the one that burnt and the money they’d made at the festival, they were able to buy more. But something just didn’t seem right. Even Magdalena had begun to talk about leaving the job just before Isabella and her mother did.
For weeks after the devastating news of Alejandro’s marital status, Isabella had focused on several goals. She’d been glad they’d been able to save enough money, not just for the first and down on a new apartment, but for a down payment on a used car. So, she set out to learn to drive and get her license. At first, she’d felt bad about using Cido to learn to drive, knowing full well she was learning so she could move that much farther away from him. But it was clear he wouldn’t have it any other way. One of the other guys who worked for him and his dad had offered to teach her, but, of course, Cido wasn’t having it. Just another reason why she needed to break free from him. His feelings of entitlement had gone on long enough.
A few months later she had her license, a car, and a new apartment—a lot farther away than she’d first said they be moving. Hence the tension. Then she gave Cido a full month’s notice when she was offered the new job. She’d be helping manage an upscale family-owned restaurant in Little Italy. She’d work fewer hours than the ones she put in at the truck, and she’d be making more money. It also came with full benefits. Cido and Octavio couldn’t even argue. Although Cido had offered to up her pay, Isabella was determined to make her move.
Unlike when they first arrived, her mother was able to find a job working as a custodial worker at a hospital, because of how far they’d moved, they used the excuse that Isabella couldn’t be driving her in and the bus drive there would be too long. They’d made a clean break, but not completely. Cido and Octavio had done a lot for them. It didn’t feel right to just cut them off cold turkey. They’d also helped them move in, so Cido knew where they lived, and he now had their phone number. Isabella planned on slowly pulling away until they eventually completely lost touch. She figured with the number of hours they put in on the trucks, with two fewer employees and two new trucks to man, they’d be too busy for any socializing.
Now here just two months later, Cido was stopping by to meet Isabella for dinner. If it’d been up to him, they would’ve gotten together several times already. But Isabella had made one excuse after another why she couldn’t. Finally, and only because she still felt indebted to him, she’d given into dinner only. But she’d make sure to get something clear tonight. There was nothing romantic about their relationship and never would be.
It still bugged her that, despite his being married now, Alejandro was under the impression that she and Cido had moved in together. Regardless of his circumstances, it shouldn’t matter, but she knew it did. It had to. If the tables were turned, and it’d been her best friend he’d ended up with, even if sh
e was already in a relationship herself, she’d still feel betrayed.
“I’m off now,” she said, leaning her head into the back room where the owner of the restaurant was. “But my friend’s meeting me here for dinner. So, I’ll still be here, but I’m off the clock.”
“Buon appetito.”
Cido was already standing in the lobby, holding a single rose reviving the painful memory of a time long ago when Alejandro had so violently rejected someone else bringing her one. He was dressed up a bit, and Isabella was glad she’d thought ahead and dressed as casually as she could today. This was not a date.
“Hey.” She waved him over to an empty booth.
Last thing she wanted was some long greeting that might end with welcome hug. She even took a seat in the booth to avoid any possible embracing. “I’m so tired,” she said as he reached the booth.
He handed her the rose with a smile. “You look very nice. Can’t believe it’s only been two months since I’ve seen you. Feels so much longer.”
Isabella thanked him as their waiter reached them with two glasses of water. Ironic that he’d comment on how long it felt since they’d last seen each other. For years, it’s what she dwelled on daily—how it felt like an eternity since she’d last seen Alejandro. She thought about mentioning it but then thought better of it. Cido might take it as her comparing their relationships to hers and Alejandro’s when they were worlds apart.
Instead, she focused on the menu she already had memorized. Thankfully, Cido asked her to order for him since he didn’t know much about Italian cuisine. She quickly ordered what she knew would be out fastest and got right into her casual spiel about how quickly life changes, how different her life was now from just a few months ago, citing all the things that had changed since: her new job, apartment, her driving now, how much weight she’d lost. Which technically started just after the festival when she’d all but lost her appetite for weeks and she’d yet to fully recover. But she kept that part to herself.
Moreno's: Moreno Brother's prequel (Moreno Brothers) Page 16
