by Baker, Tory
I should stop searching for Larissa, just give up. Apparently, it’s what she’s already done with our relationship. What the fuck am I saying? Maybe we were always meant to be friends.
That tightness in my chest continues to burn more and more each day. She just doesn’t want to be found. I’ve gone everywhere, the boutique she used to work at. Hell, I even went to her shithead parents’ house. When Declan suggested I use his private investigator. I balked. I had already hired three, and they couldn’t find jack shit. Finding my best friend turned lover, it was something I needed to do. We had one night of unbelievable bliss. For fuck’s sake, I took her virginity, never anticipating her being a saving that at the age of twenty-four. Once I knew I was her first, I wanted to be her last. Fuck that, as soon as I find her, I’m going to be her last.
I return to my computer when an alert pops up, letting me know I have a new email. I finally did what Declan said a month ago. I hired the private investigator he suggested. He hit the ground running. It still took him a month. A fucking month, but he told me he had a few leads that he was looking into and that he’d keep me posted.
When I see the email with Terry Smith, the private investigator’s name, my stomach bottoms out. Sure, I’m a thirty-year-old man, but not having Larissa around, it’s like the other half of my heart is missing.
I read over the report. It’s stating where she’s been and where she’s been working. I’m about to take the next jet out of here. My one and only thought is getting to Larissa as fast as I fucking can.
I slam my laptop shut and push out of my chair, grabbing my keys and phone on the way out of the office.
I’m going to find Larissa, maybe wring her neck, kiss her breathless, or fuck her to death.
My phone ringing stops me in my tracks.
“Hello,” I answer the phone roughly.
“Jake,” whispers the voice that’s been haunting me for the past two hundred and seventy days and two hundred and sixty-nine nights.
“Don’t you leave where you are Larissa,” I grouse.
“I’m not. I promise, Jake. I’m… ummm… I’m at your condo,” she says, with uncertainty in her voice.
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, Larissa. Do not fucking move,” I demand, and then hang up. I’m already halfway to my car and on my way to her.
Chapter Four
Larissa
I should have gone home first, well -- not that I have a home. Really, what home do I have? My roommate rented my room out. I wasn’t exactly expecting her to keep it while I got my life together. Instead, I came right to Jake’s place. I didn’t even stop by my parents’ house. Not that their welcome would be warm and fuzzy. We haven’t spoken in years. One falling out about me wanting to go to college and better my future, instead of staying in our small town and working at the family hardware store. They looked at me like I thought I was better than them. When really I just wanted a career. Something better for myself. They told me to leave and never come back. So, I didn’t, and I refused to turn to them now.
Instead, I ran straight to Jake, expecting him to be home, especially this late at night, only to realize he wasn’t here, and the doorman wouldn’t tell me if he was or not. He blatantly refused to call Jake one way or the other. I put my big girl panties on and did what I had to.
I called him.
There’s no backing out now. I’m lost in my own thoughts, staring at my shoes, thinking I really need to wash my beat-up canvas shoes when the door swings open and I see Jake for the first time in months. My breath hitches in my throat. He’s still so damn handsome. His hair is dark brown in color. Cut short on the side, yet the top lays haphazardly. His eyes, that I remember looking into all night long so many months ago, are blue in color and I can see the fire blazing in them. He’s angry. No, not just angry. There’s hurt and pain in his eyes. Pain that I caused. Tears instantly gather at the corner of my eyes.
I missed him. He stopped ten feet away from me. My body has changed so much, yet I’m still the same me. It’s as if he’s waiting to see if I’m real or if I’ll actually come to him. I leave all of my apprehension and run towards him, as much as I can. I leap into his arms and he holds on tight. Something big and intruding is making me not able to wrap my legs around his waist like I’d love to be able to do. I want to be held by Jake. His hand goes to my now round stomach and the other cups my cheek.
I look into his eyes and whisper, “I’m so sorry, Jake.”
He hushes me and we look into each other’s eyes. My arms are wrapped around his neck, he’s stooped in his stature that is usually well above my height and we stay lost in the moment.
I know his forgiveness will take time. I can see the hurt and anger. I did this to him. I did this to us.
He picks me up as if I’m his bride and strides to the elevator. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and let the tears flow down freely. I wasn’t sure if he’d want anything to do with me. If he would have turned away from me, it would have destroyed me. Probably as much as it devastated him when I walked away.
Once we’re inside the elevator. I wiggle out of his hold and stand on my own two feet. He doesn’t let me leave his side though. He brings me back into the warmth of his body, his arms wrapped around me as we wait to go up to his place.
“We have a lot to talk about, Rissa,” he murmurs into my ear. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. He’s absolutely right. There’s so much that needs to be said, yet I’m not sure how I can without breaking his heart all over again.
My sharp inhale has him searching my face, for what, I’m not sure. I try to tuck myself deeper into him, but he stops me.
“I’m not letting you leave again.” His voice comes out harsh, but I know everything about Jake and how he talks and the tones he uses. I can hear the strain in his voice trying to contain his emotions.
“I won’t leave. I promise,” my voice has a rasp to it.
Chapter Five
Jake
I’ve dreamed of having Larissa back in my arms. She’s here now and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her from leaving me. Even if I have to use handcuffs, I’m not letting her go.
We walk into my condo. Everything is exactly the same as it was when she left. I didn’t upgrade or move after she left. I should have, but on the rare chance that she would come back, I wanted her to know where she could find me. I’m thankful as ever that I didn’t move. Even when Declan said it’s time to call it quits, move closer to headquarters, and let Larissa go.
I couldn’t do it. No, not even that. I refused to give up on her. She’s mine. Even if she doesn’t know it right now. She will by the end of the night.
“Want anything to drink?” I ask, gruffly, as she meanders over to the windows that look over the city. She always loved the view. Anytime we would hang out at my place, Larissa would always be glued to the floor to ceiling glass.
“I’m okay. Thank you, though,” she mumbles. Her body may be facing the window, but I can see her gorgeous fucking face. Larissa never wore much makeup, she always said she didn’t like it caked on and it felt like her face was wearing a sweater with all of it on. I laughed at the time, but now looking at her, her natural beauty shines through. Her face is soft and wistful. Green eyes are shimmering in the light surrounding her, her hair. Goddamn, her hair. It’s long and wavy, chocolate with golden highlights, that I loved having wrapped in my hands when I was taking her all night long.
I grab a bottle of water. The faster we get this talk done and over with, the faster I can move Larissa in with me, have her glued to me. I can imagine coming home from work to her. Seeing her in a house that I know she’ll make a home. Fuck, just having her here now makes the place seem less cold.
She graduated college with a degree in business communication. A degree I know she hasn’t put in use yet. I hope now that she’s home, she’ll look at a job that she really wants instead of working for menial pay, when I know she’s worth more than that. She’s worth every
thing.
I sit down on the couch and clear my throat, “Larissa, sit down for a minute.”
She turns around and I see all of her lush curves. Her beautiful hourglass figure is encased in skintight jeans. Her hips flare out and her heart shaped ass -- it’s what a man dreams about. She’s wearing a simple green tank top with an open sweater over it. I hate that sweater right now. It’s hiding her body from me. Especially what I really want to see all of her -- the one thing that made me stop in my tracks when I first laid eyes on her in the lobby. She has something to tell me and I want to hear it from her lips.
She sits down beside me and it’s not good enough. I easily pick her up and have her straddle my waist.
“Jake,” she rushes out as she places her hands on my shoulders.
“I need you close to me,” I tell her as I brush her hair out of her face.
“Okay,” she replies.
“Tell me why you ran away from me,” I state.
Chapter Six
Larissa
“I was scared, Jake. I was so, so scared. You’re my best friend. I didn’t want one night to ruin what we had,” I breathe out.
I look down at my lap, well what I can see of it now that I’m about ready to pop. I’m wringing my hands together as he states, “If you would have stayed, you would have known that was the best night of my life.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, and tears are rolling down my cheeks. I barely get those two words out before I start sobbing. He brings me into his body, as much as he can with my stomach interfering with us getting too close, and I’m wrapped up in him.
He shushes me and soothes me as I ugly cry. I don’t know how I was so lucky to have Jake for so long and only to leave him. Plain and simple, I was an idiot.
A part of me wanted him to find me, but the other part, the one where I was too scared to make it easy for him to find me, didn’t.
“Calm down, baby,” he says into my ear, in a whispered tone. It makes me shiver. I remember his rough whispers when he’s in the throes of telling me what exactly he wants me to do and how he’s going to take me hard and deep.
I burrow in closer to him and instantly feel his hardness. If it wasn’t for my burgeoning stomach or the way I feel his hand come down between us and he places it on my stomach. It makes me relish this moment.
Chapter Seven
Jake
Fuck, she’s beautiful. Even crying her eyes out, and round with my baby. I’d like to say I was shocked she came home pregnant, but I’m not. It’s something I was hoping for. We both knew the chances we took when we had unprotected sex. Yet, we still wanted it that way.
“I don’t know whether to spank your ass or kiss you senseless,” I finally tell her, as she lifts her face up to meet my eyes.
There’s heat in her eyes and I can see she likes both of those ideas. The first one, I’d love nothing more to do, but something tells me it won’t be happening for a good while.
My hand comes up and tangles in her hair as I bring her lips to mine. She’s tentative at first. Once I give her my tongue, her body awakens. She undulates in my arms. My cock is close to bursting. Not once did I even so much as look at another woman during my time away from her.
I only wanted Larissa. “Jake,” she moans out.
“Baby, we can’t do that. Not yet. As much as I want inside you, we have a lot to talk about,” I tell her. My eyes never leaving hers.
“We do, but, God, it feels so good,” she moans as she grinds her pussy against my dick. I can feel her heat even with the layers between us.
I fold, I can’t let her need something and barely get off. I flip her over onto her back and my hands find the top of her pants. I yank them off and lift her shirt over her head. Leaving her in nothing but her bra and panties.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” I grumble, my gaze taking her in, from head to toe. Her breasts are swollen, her hips have broadened, her stomach is taut from our child. The child we haven’t said much about, but we will.
She reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra and her heavy breasts are out, her dark tipped nipples that are hard and begging for my mouth to be wrapped around them. I do exactly that. I lean my body over hers, making sure to keep my weight off of her as I suck on one and use my other hand to manipulate the neglected one. Her hips move up and she moans out my name.
As much as I don’t want to leave them, I know what we both need. We both need to reconnect with each other.
I move down her body, ripping my shirt off along the way and unbuckling my belt. The hiss of the zipper brings Larissa’s eyes to what I’m doing. My cock comes out and she licks her lips. Fuck, what this woman does to me.
“Keep that tongue in your mouth, Rissa, or I’ll put it to good use,” I demand.
Her hands go to her nipples and she plucks at them, as I rip her panties off. I should have taken them off like a gentleman, but it’s been a long nine months and I need inside her.
I look at her bare cunt and drop down. I need a taste of her before I’m inside her wet heat. She’s dripping with honey and that’s exactly what she tastes like, as I take one long lick.
“Please, Jake, I need you inside me,” she pleads.
I can’t say no to her. I’m back and my body is between her spread legs, holding my cock in one hand as I fist myself. I bring my thumb over her clit and rub it in firm circles. I want her ready and I don’t want to hurt her.
“You ready, Baby?” I ask. She nods her head, “I need the words Larissa or we’re not doing this.” I grind out.
“Yes, Jake. Yes!” She moans, as I thrust into her with one stroke, bottoming out inside my peace on earth.
She wraps her legs around my hips, and I take over. She matches me in every way, a part of me wishes we were in my bed and she was laid out before me, as I take like we have all the time in the world to relearn each other’s bodies.
I tunnel in and out of her hot as fuck pussy, relishing the way she clinches me with every thrust.
“Come, Larissa. Come for me, Baby,” I grunt out. I can already feel the tell-tale sign of my impending orgasm and no way am I coming before my woman.
“I’m coming, Jake,” her voice is shuddering along with her whole body. I come as she bears down on my cock.
“Not ever letting you leave me again,” I say, as we both come down from our orgasm. Her eyes are glittering with unshed tears, and she may have left me physically, but she never left my heart.
Chapter Eight
Larissa
When I wake up, I’m wrapped in Jake’s arms. He’s behind me, with his hand on my stomach. Holding both of us. The only thing waking me up is my bladder. I go to move, and Jake pulls me back into his warmth.
“Jake, I have to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” I whisper into the dark room, trying not to wake him up.
He sits up abruptly and turns on the lamp on the bedside table, “Are you okay?” he questions.
“Yeah, just the little one playing football on my kidneys,” I reply as I heft myself out of bed.
I watch his eyes go soft and he says, “I can’t believe we made our own child.”
He’s not accusing me of leaving him and running off pregnant. He’s not upset with me. He’s just Jake. My Jake.
“Give me a few minutes and I swear we’ll talk, but if I wait much longer, I’ll be cleaning up a mess,” I chuckle and make my way into the bathroom.
I do my business, and when I’m done and washing my hands, I stand in front of the mirror and take in all the changes that have happened lately. I take a look at myself one last time and pull in every ounce of courage and face the man I’m in love with.
When I walk back, his back is to the headboard and he motions me towards him, my feet shuffle to his side of the bed. He helps me in and settles me between his legs. My back is to his chest and his arms instantly go around my now round stomach.
“I know it’s three o’clock in the morning and I won’t keep you up too much longer, bu
t I need to know everything that happened these past months,” his voice was thick with emotion.
I turn my body, my legs are over his and I look into his eyes and tell him everything, “I woke up in the middle night, as you know, and left. I was scared and a coward. Instead of staying to tell you all of the emotions I had built up, I ran away. I didn’t want to lose you or to see if you’d be disappointed in what we had. It would have broken my heart, so I did the one thing I shouldn’t have. I ran and made it impossible for you to find me.”
“I searched for you. There wasn’t a day that went by that I wasn’t trying to find you. I even went to your parents’ house and I gotta say, Babe, they fucking suck,” he says, with annoyance in his voice. I’m not sure if it’s at me or my parents.
“I’m not a big fan of them either,” I tell him as I push a lock of hair that’s fallen down on his forehead. I want us to be connected somehow. Even if it’s something as simple as a brush of my fingertips on his skin.
“Yeah, I can imagine. Keep going,” he coaxes.
“I landed in a small town out west, working in a diner. I stayed in a room I rented from a little old lady and went to my doctor. That’s all I did, if I wasn’t walking around kicking myself in the ass. I did what I always do, I read, I think I read every pregnancy book I could get my hands on.” My hands are in the air as I explain to him what I did.
“Are you okay? When is your due date? Are we having a boy or a girl?” He hit me with rapid fire questions.
“I’m fine. I’ve had an amazingly smooth pregnancy. I’m two weeks away from my due date. Which reminds me, tomorrow I need to set up an appointment with a new obstetrician in town. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. I wanted to wait until we could find out together,” I answer him.
