by Emmy Eugene
Henry.
He’d known her ex was back in town, but he’d thought it was temporary. He’d thought Janelle had been telling him everything. He worked through his chores, finally returning to the homestead for lunch. Rex and Griffin were already there, eating leftovers from Christmas dinner at their parents’.
Russ kept his back to them as he poured himself more coffee. Thankfully, they were engaged in a conversation about the New Year’s First Night in town, and Russ didn’t have to talk. He’d already said he wouldn’t be going to that, and now he had a very good reason never to leave the ranch again.
He felt utterly confined to the ranch now, and while he loved the land and the work, he’d had some hope of having a wife he loved and a family filling the homestead with laughter.
Rex left first, and Griffin looked at Russ. “You okay?”
“Fine,” Russ said, as he didn’t feel like talking about anything right now. In fact, he just wanted to heat up the steak bites and go back to bed.
“Okay, well, I have to go check on the goats. They’ve been breaking their hay cradle every morning, and I’ve been giving them a stern talking-to.”
“Keep that up,” Russ said, as if the goats really cared what Griffin said to them.
He was alone in the homestead now, and he hated it. The silence pressed in around him, but he couldn’t get himself to get up and leave. Or even get something to eat. He pulled out his phone and looked at it again, almost expecting to see a text from Janelle. He didn’t.
He was vaguely aware of the back door opening and people coming in, but he didn’t look up. It was as if her words had branded themselves on the back of her eyelids.
“Hey, Russ, we have—” Travis cut off and then added, “What?”
Henry wants another chance.
“Russ?” Travis asked, and Russ finally looked up.
“Yeah?”
“Uh…what’s goin’ on?” Travis asked, glancing at Millie. They looked blissfully happy, and Russ had the sudden urge to run as far and as fast as he could.
“Janelle—” He shook his head, anger filling him over and over and over. “Her ex came back into town,” Russ managed to say. “And she’s unsure about us—again.” He shook his head and looked down at his phone again. “I don’t get it. I feel so sure about us.”
And he did. So sure. Sure enough to tell the woman he loved her. Everything tangled inside him, and he couldn’t believe he’d told her that. He couldn’t believe she’d thrown it back in his face only a few days later.
“I’m sorry,” Travis said. “What can we do?”
“Nothing.” Russ needed to get out of there. Now. “At least she waited until after Christmas, but now I feel like a royal idiot for all the gifts I got her and the girls.” He shook his head, pure agony moving through him that not even steak bites could fix. He felt so stupid. So, so stupid. “I’m going to go to bed. Wait. Do we have any of those steak bites left?” He detoured over to the fridge and pulled out the container. “Still a few,” he said. “I’m taking these with me.”
He left Millie and Travis in the kitchen, their happiness too heavy for him to shoulder. Back in his bedroom, he ate the steak bites and turned something on his tablet. With the volume loud enough, he couldn’t think about Janelle. Problem was, he couldn’t fall asleep either. But that didn’t matter. He didn’t want to sleep.
He just wanted to stop thinking.
Russ had never been as thankful for rain as he was over the next couple of days. The wet, sloppy conditions slowed everything down, from animal care to simply walking out to the equipment shed. The river rose and rose and rose, and Russ and Seth were out morning, noon, and night checking to make sure their embankments weren’t going to collapse.
“Lost a bridge,” Russ said, stamping his feet as he entered the homestead. He whipped off his cowboy hat and shook the water from it. “Seth?”
“I heard you,” he said, appearing in the doorway of the kitchen. “Sorry, I was swallowing.”
“Travis said the land is sliding on that south side, the way it always does.” Russ shrugged out of his rain jacket and hung it on the hook on the back of the door. It wouldn’t dry before he had to go out again, but it would keep Russ dry at least.
Seth shook his head and gestured for Russ to come get something to eat. “Jenna sent over baked potato soup.”
The kitchen was warm and dry and smelled like bacon, and Russ’s stomach grumbled at him for keeping them out in the rain for so long. He dished up some soup, added bacon, green onions, and another healthy pinch of cheese before joining Seth at the bar.
“How’s his house coming?”
“He can’t dig,” Russ said. “So he’s put everything on hold for a little bit.” He stirred everything together. “Which is fine. He’s not even done designing yet.”
“And the dog enclosure?”
“It has a roof,” Russ said, glad he and Travis had worked on it in every spare moment they’d had the last three and a half weeks. “And the inside is coming along real well. It should be ready by next weekend.”
“I adopted out nine dogs on Saturday,” Seth said, and Russ struggled to remember what day it was. The day after Christmas—the day Janelle had broken up with him for the second time—had been Thursday.
He didn’t want to ask Seth if that was yesterday or not. All at once, he realized that it was. Today was Sunday, as Darren, Tomas, and Brian didn’t work Sundays.
“That’s great,” he said, perhaps a bit belatedly.
“Do you want me to call Janelle and find out about getting the dogs back?”
Russ flinched, because he hadn’t even thought about that. And the care they’d require in all the rain…she was probably going crazy. Part of him wanted to say that he could call Janelle, but he honestly wasn’t sure if he could or not.
If he did, and she didn’t answer… Russ knew his heart couldn’t take any more of her special brand of hurt. You asked her to tell you if Henry was going to be a problem, he told himself. And she did.
Russ just wished Henry hadn’t been a problem. He and Janelle had been divorced for over three years now. This was her fourth Christmas alone, and Russ had been hoping it would be her last—but that she’d be with him, on Chestnut Ranch, next year. And for many years to come.
“I’ll call her,” Seth said, picking up Russ’s phone. “I’m just going to get her number…”
Russ let him do whatever he wanted with his phone. There wasn’t anything sensitive on the device anyway, though it buzzed in Seth’s hand. “You got a text from Momma.”
“I’m sure she’s asking me if Janelle will be at dinner tonight,” he said.
“That’s exactly what she asked.” Seth cocked his eyebrows, but Russ didn’t want to talk about it.
“I’m not going to dinner tonight,” he said, taking his phone. Case closed. He texted his mother back that he wouldn’t even be at supper that evening and left it at that.
“You know she’s going to ask five million questions,” Seth said.
“She’s calmed down a little bit since you got married.”
“She has?”
“I think she just wanted someone to get married, so good job.” Russ gave his brother a smile. “Has she started asking you about grandbabies yet?”
Seth scoffed and shook his head. “Bless her heart.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I told her if she brought it up again, I wouldn’t come to dinner either,” Seth said, starting to chuckle. “I mean, I’ve been married for what? Five weeks?”
Russ put a smile on his face, but he couldn’t bring himself to laugh with Seth. The smile itself felt false, and he let it slip away as Seth stood up. “All right. I have to get home for a minute. Jenna just texted to say she had a surprise.”
Russ looked up as Seth put his cowboy hat back on. “Maybe she’s pregnant.”
Seth stumbled, his gaze flying back to Russ. “Uh, Jenna can’t actually get pregnant.”
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Horror moved through Russ, and his mouth dropped open. “Seth, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
Seth’s face darkened, and he nodded. “It’s okay. We’re talking about other things. Maybe adoption. Maybe doing some foster dare.”
Foolishness filled Russ, and he nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said again.
Seth’s smile came back, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Russ,” before walking out.
Winner lifted her head and whined, and Russ said, “He’ll be back, Winn.” The dog sighed, and Russ knew exactly how she felt. “I know,” Russ said, imagining his whole existence to be like this. Alone.
With Travis in his new homestead a couple hundred yards down the lane, and Seth right across the river. But they still wouldn’t be here, and Russ would be—by himself.
He should find someone else to get to know. But he didn’t want to. He’d fallen in love with Janelle Stokes, and he just wanted her.
The furnace kicked on, and Russ got up. He went upstairs to his bedroom to change out of his wet socks, and all three dogs came with him. Even Thunder, who had a hard time with steps.
Russ sat on the end of the bed and scrubbed them all down. “Okay,” he said. “You guys stay here. It’s nasty out there, and we don’t need you to get all wet and muddy and then want to lay on the couch.”
Winner looked at him with the saddest puppy dog eyes on the planet, and she came with him downstairs to put on his boots again. Thunder and Cloudy didn’t, and Russ hoped they’d keep a spot warm for him for his Sunday afternoon nap.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Janelle sat by her phone on the twenty-seventh, expecting news from Henry. He’d hired someone at his firm to represent him in the protective order hearing. He could’ve done it himself, but he’d told her that he just wanted to have a clear head during the hearing.
She wore a pair of leggings, an oversized sweater, and the thickest, warmest socks she could find. The girls were outside, taking care of the dogs, and Janelle could admit that they were being troopers.
The rain hadn’t stopped for about twenty-four hours now, but neither girl had complained about feeding the dogs or cleaning out their pens. They didn’t let them out in the pouring rain, but kept them in the stable. The pens were open, though, so they had more room to move around, but it wasn’t the same as running free through the yard.
Janelle poured herself another cup of coffee and curled into the couch, checking her phone though it hadn’t gone off. She stared out the window at the drizzly rain, feeling absolutely miserable.
“Shouldn’t I feel better?” she murmured to herself. She’d broken up with Russ, and she’d thought that would align her thoughts and ease some of her guilt.
But it hadn’t.
The agonized, dreadful quality of his voice still echoed in her ears, and the things she imagined him thinking and doing weren’t pleasant.
Sometime later, the girls came in, and they were soaked to the bone. “Get in the tub,” she told them. “Shed your clothes in the laundry room, and I’ll go start the hot water.” Though her house wasn’t that old, it did take a while for the hot water to reach the bathroom.
Her back cringed as she got off the couch, and she couldn’t wait to get back to work. That got her up and out of the house, doing something worthwhile with her time and energy. As it was, she’d closed the firm for two whole weeks, because Christmas was on a Wednesday this year. Some of the lawyers were taking emergency calls, but she didn’t have any clients that would need her.
With the steam rising from the faucet, she reached into the tub and put the stopper in. She poured in a healthy dose of bubble bath, and her little girls came in a moment later, big bath towels covering them up.
“In you go,” she said, and she held their hands to help them step into the tub without slipping. They giggled and played, and Janelle smiled at them.
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she turned away from her kids. She didn’t want them to see her distress, and she stepped out of the bathroom a moment later. Pressing her back into the wall, she drew in a deep breath and tried to find her center.
But she felt so off-balance. Nothing was right in her life, and she couldn’t help feeling like she’d made a colossal mistake by breaking up with Russ Johnson.
Her phone chimed, and she swiped at her eyes as she strode down the hall to the living room, where she’d left her phone.
The text was from Libby, not Daniel or Henry, and Janelle couldn’t help the slip of disappointment moving through her.
I heard you broke up with Russ. What in the world is going on?
Janelle’s breath shuddered in her text, and she planned to ignore her best friend. At least for now.
But Libby texted, Call me right now next, and Janelle thought maybe a discussion with Libby was just what she needed.
But was it?
She’d thought talking with her mother would straighten out her thoughts, but all that conversation had done was plant more doubt.
She didn’t call Libby, but her phone rang, and Libby’s name sat on the screen. Janelle’s heat pulsed out extra beats, and she didn’t answer the call.
She got two seconds of silence before Libby called again, and Janelle sighed and answered the call.
“I knew you were there,” Libby said. “Not taking my call.” She half-scoffed and half-grunted. “Things must be bad.”
Janelle opened her mouth to say she was fine, but the words wouldn’t come. Her throat narrowed even further, and her chin quivered.
“You’re not even speaking,” Libby said. “This is so bad. I’m bringing a gallon of hot chocolate and those maple doughnut bites you like.” Without waiting for a confirmation, Libby hung up, and Janelle knew she’d be there in half an hour.
Sure enough, Janelle had just finished braiding Kelly’s hair when Libby walked through the front door.
“Libby!” Kadence yelled and jumped up from the table, where she’d been painting a picture of a dolphin. Libby received both girls in an embrace, and Janelle was glad she had friends to help her with her kids. With all her problems, really.
Libby zeroed in on Janelle in the next moment, and maybe she wasn’t as grateful then. “I brought you girls a movie.” She waved the DVD she’d brought, eventually handing it to Kelly, who put it in the player and got the remotes.
Libby joined Janelle in the kitchen, setting a big thermos on the counter. “Hot chocolate,” she said. A brown bag joined the beverage. “Doughnut bites from Mabel Maples.”
Janelle went for the pastries first, setting three of the jumbo doughnut holes on a paper plate. She let Libby pour her a mug of sugary hot chocolate.
“How did you hear?” she finally asked once she heard the first song play on the musical Libby had brought for the girls.
“I live next door to Angela Brunner, and she’d Millie Hepworth’s best friend, and Millie is—”
“Dating Travis Johnson,” they said together.
So the whole town knew of her break-up with Russ. She didn’t dwell on it, as Janelle knew that the whole town didn’t care who she spent her spare time with. They honestly didn’t. It simply felt like it.
“What happened?” Libby asked.
Janelle shrugged and filled her mouth with doughnut.
“Oh, come on,” Libby said. “This is me.”
Janelle swallowed her treat and hugged her friend. “Henry’s back in town, and he wants to be a family again. The girls love him, and…” She couldn’t finish, because she didn’t want to say she couldn’t say no to him.
But that was the real reason. She’s always had a very hard time telling Henry Stokes no.
To Libby’s eternal credit, she didn’t sigh in exasperation. She didn’t remind Janelle that she could barely stand her ex-husband. She didn’t tell her that Henry had cheated on her many times—and that he probably would again.
Janelle had all of those thoughts herself, and Libby just let her wallow in it. She sipped her hot chocolate and look
ed over at the girls as they started belting out one of the songs.
“Where’s Henry now?”
Janelle didn’t want to tell her, but she couldn’t say she didn’t know. Janelle might be uncertain about things, but she wasn’t a liar. “He’s in court.”
“Really? I didn’t realize he was working right now. Hasn’t he been hanging around here?”
“He’s not working,” Janelle said, and Libby was smart enough to put one and one together.
“Oh, his hearing is today?”
Janelle nodded, and she glanced at her phone as if someone would text her and let her know how things were going in Austin.
“He’s not going to have that charge stick,” Libby said.
“I know,” Janelle said. “I’m not worried about that. I’m scared that this will blow over, and Henry will go home, and I’ll have broken up with Russ for no reason.”
Libby reached over and covered Janelle’s hand with hers. “Maybe you should’ve waited to talk to Russ.”
“I just felt so…inauthentic. Celebrating Christmas with him. Then with my family without him. I should’ve invited him to that. Why didn’t he come? You know why?”
Libby just lifted her eyebrows, and Janelle said, “I know why. Because I was embarrassed to introduce him to my parents and family when I wasn’t sure about us. When I was considering getting back together with Henry.”
“Honey,” Libby said gently. “Is that a real possibility?”
“I don’t know.”
“The reason he’s at this hearing is because he showed up on another woman’s doorstep, allegedly intoxicated, and demanded sex.”
Janelle looked away, her eyes burning again. “I know.”
“Okay, of course you do.” Libby patted her hand again and nudged a doughnut bite closer to her. “I just…you and Russ are so good together. I’ve literally never seen you happier than the few months you were with him.”
Janelle wiped her right eye, because she didn’t cry, and nodded. “I know.” Her phone rang, and she jerked toward it. “It’s Daniel.” She swiped on the call, her stomach swooping in the strangest way.
