It would be worse to stay away. Kevin would think that she still wasn't over him. Naomi would gloat.
The thing was, way back when Emmaline and Kevin had first become friends, so had their parents, both sets so relieved their kids had found someone. When Em's parents had divorced ten years ago (yet remained in the same house, how was that for Dysfunction with a capital D?), the Bateses and the Neals would have dinner every third Saturday of the month. They went to Alaska together and, a few years later, to Paris.
So Emmaline's parents would be going to the wedding, as well as Angela. And if Em didn't go, there was a strong chance that both psychologist parents would analyze her motives in front of anyone who asked, saying that Em hadn't mustered the emotional fortitude to undertake this painful journey and find closure. Mom had already called three times this week to share her thoughts, and that would break the strongest resolve.
Allison Whitaker, unofficial leader of the Bitter Betrayeds, had leaped on the chance to avoid discussing another book no one had read and arranged an en masse shopping trip to the mall.
The Bitter Betrayed Book Club wasn't really about reading. As the name implied, you had to have been dumped. Allison, a Southern transplant and pediatrician, had divorced her husband after he became consumed with a passion for collecting antique cookie jars "and didn't even have the decency to turn gay, the way that hot Jeremy Lyon did." Shelayne Schanta, the head nurse at the E.R., had been thrown over for her own aunt. Jeanette O'Rourke's husband had impregnated a much younger woman some years back. Grace Knapton, who ran the community theater group and directed the school play, had been tricked into giving five grand to a Pakistani man she'd met online who professed to be in love with her, never to hear from him again. Granted, Grace wasn't really bitter--she laughed about the experience more than anything. But she was gifted in the art of cocktails (her Peach Sunrises were the stuff of legend) as well as cheese puffs, so they let her join.
Clearly, going to the wedding of the man who'd made Emmaline's membership possible was going to be discussed.
"You know what I think you should do," Allison drawled in her glorious Louisiana accent as she fondled a black lace bra. "Put some high-test laxatives in their drinks. I can prescribe you a little something on that front, darlin'. Or, even better, cut up a jalapeno right before the reception, see, and then rub it all over your hands--" she pantomimed this action "--and then touch their eyes. Hellfire and damnation, y'all!"
"How is she gonna touch their eyes?" Shelayne asked. "But actually, Em, if you could do what Allison said, then grab his junk, that would be fantastic. We had a case in the E.R. for that last year. It was hilarious. Well, to us nurses, anyway."
"Yeah. So tempting," Em said, unable to tear her eyes off the package in Shelayne's hands. "But I probably won't."
"Try those on, Emmaline," Jeanette said. "I might get a pair myself."
"Isn't it bad enough that I had to buy a bathing suit?" Em asked.
"Mandatory water sports." Grace clucked. "Who ever heard of such a thing at a wedding?"
"Exactly," Emmaline said.
"Shush, child," Allison said. "We showed you mercy by letting you get a one-piece. Now get in there and show us your boobies."
"This is so humiliating," Emmaline said. But she obeyed, slinking into the dressing room with her bathing suit in one hand, and the...things...in the other.
Emmaline yanked her MPD sweatshirt over her head and took off her jeans. Put on the bathing suit, which was one of those "look ten pounds lighter" types, praise Jesus. But when she'd tried it on the first time, the Bitter Betrayeds had deemed her boobage to be unremarkable. All the squeezing and squishing from the miraculous fabric apparently minimized her bust as well as her stomach.
Enter Ta-Ta Ta-Dahs.
The Ta-Ta Ta-Dahs looked like raw chicken fillets. Their purpose: to boost the girls. The breasts. Yeah.
Em opened the package and grimaced. They felt like raw chicken, too. Em sighed, then hefted her left breast and stuck the thing underneath. Flinched. It was cold. Silicone, the package said. Maybe Em would just buy regular chicken breasts. It would cost less than these. She slid the right one in and looked.
Well, well. They worked. Ta-dah indeed.
She went out to show the group.
"Hello!" Allison said. "We have liftoff, people."
"How do they feel, Emmaline?" Grace asked.
"Disgusting. I'm changing back into my clothes now. You people have had your fun."
A little while later, seated around a table at the Olive Garden and sucking down Peach Sunrises that weren't nearly as good as Grace's, Em took a deep breath. "So, guys, I'd like to bring a date," she admitted. "You know anyone?"
"Jack Holland," came the chorus.
"Wow," Em said. "Is he for sale or something?"
"No, no," Jeanette said. She worked at Blue Heron and was therefore the resident expert on the Hollands. "He just does that kind of thing. You need a date, he'll go."
"Not Jack," Emmaline said.
"Why? He's so handsome! If I was twenty years younger... And he saved all those kids! I mean, he was gorgeous before, but now, I swear, things pulsate when I think about him. Lady things." This was from Grace, who was on her third drink. At least she wasn't driving.
"Jack took me to my sister's wedding," Shelayne said. "He's a perfect date. Gorgeous, we all know that, but he can also hold a conversation, he smells fantastic, he's not embarrassing on the dance floor. When we got home, he kissed me on the cheek. I offered sex, but he turned me down. Nicely, though, you know? My feelings weren't even hurt."
"His ex-wife is back in town," Allison said. Em already knew this--Faith had stopped by the police station, presumably so Levi could kiss her and put his hand on her stomach and offer other married gestures of devotion, and spilled the news.
"His wife?" Grace asked. "The Southern belle? The blonde? When we did Sound of Music, I begged her to play Liesl, but she was...well. You know." She dropped her voice to a stage whisper. "Not friendly." This was about as mean as Grace got.
"Her name is Hadley," Jeanette said. "And, yes, she's gorgeous. She came in the gift shop at Blue Heron the other day. So stylish."
Emmaline remembered Jack's wife--tiny and blonde, as helpless and adorable as a newborn bunny. Once, they'd been at the grocery store at the same time, and Em had realized it was Mrs. Jack Holland because of the accent (small town, nothing else to talk about). Em had had her arms full of overpacked grocery bags, her Ben & Jerry's threatening to topple out. Gerard Chartier had seen Em struggling, said an amiable hello, then practically trampled her to offer to carry Hadley's one underfilled string bag, which seemed to contain an entire apple.
"Let's just say it got really chilly, and fast," Jeanette added with great relish. "Honor froze her out with that stare of hers, and Hadley got the point. She practically ran out the door."
"Who in her right mind would cheat on Jack Holland?" Allison asked.
"If Jack had a vagina," Grace said, "he could belong to our book club."
"No more Sunrises for you," Emmaline said. "Back to my problem, I don't think Jack is up for it. He's got enough on his mind." Also, he was too beautiful for a mere mortal such as herself. "You guys know anyone else?"
"I'll ask Charles's cousin," Allison said. The cookie jar-inspired divorce had not stopped Allison and Charles from talking every day. "He's a man. He must know other men."
Talk turned to what Emmaline should wear, if she should go on a crash diet beforehand, if she should color her hair and slut it up or, just to make Kevin feel guilty, wear smelly clothes and stop washing her hair a week beforehand.
"No, no," Jeanette said. "You have to be extra beautiful." She gave Em a hard stare. "Want me to send my daughter over? She knows about these things." In fact, Colleen used to make the occasional appearance at the Bitter Betrayeds, mixing her fabulous cocktails, but she was back with the guy who'd dumped her and rosy with love and hormones, so they'd kicked her out.
"You know what?" Emmaline said. "I'll just go alone and hang out with my family." She paused, picturing that. "Actually, if anyone can come up with a guy willing to fly to California for a few days, I'd make all those parking tickets go away."
*
AND SO IT WAS that two nights later, Emmaline kissed Sarge seven times, made sure Squeaky Chicken was with him and walked around the corner to O'Rourke's to meet the man known to Allison's ex-husband's cousin. Mason Maynard.
According to Allison and the quick background check Emmaline had run, Mason was employed (score!) in marketing and didn't live with his mother (double score!). Never married, forty-one and fairly nice-looking in an unthreatening way. "He likes dogs, eating out and French films," Allison had said.
Emmaline had winced. "That's a red flag. And why 'films'? Why not 'movies'?"
"Attitude, Em. I have to go. I want to sext someone I met online."
"That's how serial killers--Allison? Hello?" Her friend had hung up.
But Allison had a point. Em would forgive the French films and even sit through one or two if Mason Maynard would be so kind as to go with her to the Wedding of the Damned.
Em took a deep breath and went into O'Rourke's, which was warm and quiet tonight, the gentle lights glowing with just the right amount of flattering ambiance. The usual suspects were here--the Iskins, Bryce and Paulie, Jessica Dunn and Big Frankie Pepitone. Lucas was smiling at his wife as she shook a martini shaker.
"Hey, Emmaline," Bryce said. "How's Sarge?"
"He's so great, Bryce," Em said. "I owe you."
"Aw, no, you don't. Just make sure he's happy."
"Hey, girl!" Colleen called. "Want to sit at the bar?"
"I'll take a booth, if that's okay. I'm meeting someone." She grimaced.
"A blind date?" Colleen was psychic about these things, as everyone knew. "You looking for someone, Em? Why didn't you ask me? I'm hurt."
Colleen was noted for many wonderful qualities; discretion was not one of them. "I'm not looking. I just need a date for a wedding." She took off her parka and hung it on the hook.
"Did you ask Jack Holland? He's always good for that. Except with me, come to think of it."
"Well, you're married now."
"True. But if you just want a date, ask Jack. He loves women in distress."
"He's got a lot on his mind these days, I'd think."
Colleen nodded. "He looks tired, poor guy." She handed Emmaline a menu. "Who's getting married?"
"My ex-fiance."
"Holy Saint Patrick! Okay, we need someone extremely good-looking. When's the wedding and where?"
"Ten days. Malibu." Em had frittered away the two weeks since she got the invitation, debating whether or not to go, whether or not to scare up a date, whether or not to simply move to Alaska and date a crab fisherman.
Colleen gave her an odd look. "Uh...is this Naomi Norman's wedding?"
"Yes. How did you know?"
"I'm going, too. Naomi and I went to college together. Same sorority."
"Ah. Well, she was the other woman back when I was engaged." Might as well tell her up front.
"No! You know, I never liked her. I think she asked me to be a bridesmaid because she doesn't have any other friends."
"You're a bridesmaid?"
Colleen grimaced. "Sorry. I said yes because I thought it'd be nice to get out of this snowy hell with my husband before I'm too pregnant to travel. Well, we can hang out, anyway. The resort looks great."
"Sure does."
"So you have a date tonight, and you never know, he might be great. I mean, they never are, but let's keep a good thought. Wait, hang on!" She slapped her forehead. "You could go with Connor. Pregnancy brain. I'm forgetting everything, even my twin. Connor!" she bellowed toward the kitchen. "You have to go to that wedding in California with Emmaline Neal!"
"No, I don't!" came the answering shout. "Sorry, Em."
"No worries." Em felt her cheeks ignite.
"Yes, you do!" Colleen shouted. "Her ex-fiance is the groom!" And hey, why not announce her romantic woes to half the town? But it was too bad, because Connor was nice and attractive and manfully gruff.
"Stop trying to hire me out," Connor said, appearing in the door to the kitchen.
"Fine!" Colleen said. "You're a jerk, Con." She turned back to Emmaline. "Want a drink?"
"Sure. Blue Point Lager, I guess."
"Or maybe a nice glass of pinot noir?" Colleen suggested. "Sends the right message. Sensuous, but not too self-absorbed, and not too butch, either."
"I'll stick with beer." She paused. "I'm not gay, you know."
"I know that. You just look it."
Em sighed. "Great."
"Put your hair down. It's pretty." Colleen reached over and took out the clip that was holding up Emmaline's hair. "There. Very hetero. I'm a whiz with makeup. Just putting it out there."
"Thanks. You must have things to do."
"Message received. I'll keep an eye out for your guy." Colleen smiled and bustled away.
Colleen's pushiness aside, Em was hugely relieved. Colleen would be at the wedding, and Lucas, too. Angela, as well. She'd have allies, in other words. Her parents were in the neutral column. It depended on their moods.
Hannah O'Rourke brought her the beer, and Em took a sip. Jerked her chin at the Manningsport Fire Department, who'd trickled in for their weekly meeting, which consisted of poker and dirty jokes.
So. What was she supposed to do at this very moment? She hadn't been on many dates since the breakup. She'd been on, oh, let's see now...two.
It had taken a while to get over Kevin, of course, the only man she'd ever dated, slept with, kissed or even held hands with. And those two dates had been pretty terrible. One guy had had to go to the hospital to pass a kidney stone; Emmaline was going to wait with him, but he told her to leave before his wife got there. The other guy had asked her to pick him up, then invited her in, flopped onto a couch, picked up his bong and asked if she wanted to get high and watch SpongeBob. "You have the right to remain silent," she'd said, and so the evening had ended in his arrest.
Also, men weren't really beating a path to her door. She'd read the books, the ones that instructed her to feign idiocy and let the man do all the work and be feminine and unavailable and all that, and she was more than willing to try. It was just that not many guys asked.
Em got it. She was a police officer who played hockey and had a smart mouth. Not unattractive, not drop-dead gorgeous, either, not like Colleen or Faith or anything. Shoulder-length brown hair. Blue eyes that were not sapphire, ultramarine, cobalt, turquoise or cerulean. Just ordinary blue. Her body was average, she guessed. She was in good shape in that she ran and took a kickboxing class from time to time. Then again, she'd eaten an entire Pepperidge Farm coconut cake just last night.
Kevin's parting words to her had been about her weight.
Sigh. Mason Maynard was forty-seven seconds late. Not that she was counting.
She'd been clear in her email to him that she was looking for a wedding date and nothing more. She'd pay for his flight and hotel for the weekend, of course, and all she wanted was an amiable companion. Someone to talk to and sit with and, when interrogated by her parents, to simply say they were friends.
She'd been to weddings without a date before, of course. But those had been the weddings of nice people. Tom Barlow and Honor Holland, Faith and Levi last year.
She looked at her watch again. Allison's ex-husband's cousin's friend was now three minutes and fourteen seconds late. She took a sip of beer, but not too much, because she didn't want Mason Maynard to think she'd been waiting too long or was the type to chug like a frat boy.
It was possible that Mason would be lovely. That at the age of forty-one, eight years her senior, he'd have a heartbreak story, too. That he'd completely understand why she needed a date, and, at the wedding, he'd be charming and self-deprecating. That they'd come back to Manningsport and he'd say, "You know, I had a great time. Wa
nt to have dinner sometime?"
Because, yes. Emmaline had always wanted to get married.
It's just that she'd always wanted to get married to Kevin.
That's what happened when you met the love of your life when you were in eighth grade.
"Emmaline?"
She looked up so suddenly she practically dislocated her neck. "Hey! Hi! Yes. That's me."
Mason Maynard was better-looking than his photo.
Much better-looking.
Now there was something that didn't happen every day. He looked like Michael Fassbender. Hopefully in every way.
"Nice to meet you," he said with a faint smile. Emmaline's stomach did a flip, and she felt the start of a dopey grin.
He had beautiful dark eyes and graying hair, and he looked...he looked like a husband. Not that she was getting ahead of herself.
"Yeah. You, too," she breathed.
His grin widened. Yep. Husband.
"This is my sister," he said, stepping aside. A thin, similarly graying woman stood there, hatchet-faced and grim. "Patricia, this is Emmaline."
"Hello," Patricia said in a toneless voice.
"Hi," Em said.
Crap.
But no, no, this didn't mean anything. After all, it wasn't weird that a guy would bring his sister on a date, right?
Fine. It was freaky. But maybe there was a good reason. Maybe her car had broken down, or she had dropped by unexpectedly. Or, from the look of her, she needed a keeper.
"She wanted to meet you," Mason said, winking.
"No, sure. That's...that's great."
Colleen came over. "Hello! What can I get you?" she asked merrily.
"I'll have a vodka tonic," Mason said. "And my sister will have water with a very, very thin slice of lemon, please."
"You bet," Colleen said, shooting Em a look. "Anything to eat?"
"No, thank you," Mason said, as he and his sister sat down. "We're just here for drinks."
Emmaline wavered. On the one hand, weird already shimmered in the air. On the other, she was so hungry her stomach was growling. "I'll have the nachos," she said, food slut that she was. Patricia slid lower in her seat. "You can share, if you like," Em added.
Mason smiled. Emmaline smiled. Patricia didn't smile. Colleen walked back to the kitchen.
"So," said Em. "This is great, meeting you both."
"I have a small phobia about being alone with women," he said smoothly.
In Your Dreams Page 3
