by S. J. Black
“Busy! Busy being sent to the hospital for unexplainable injuries! You’re lucky I didn’t pull you out of that school,” he said.
“That was an accident,” she offered weakly. Zara was seated in the library during the lunch hour, taking refuge in a corner table. The library was mostly empty. Most of the students were outside enjoying the rare January sun.
Ms Altagracia gave her a few allowances; she allowed Zara to take refuge in here during her odd class truancies or when she needed to make a call home. She was either sitting at the librarian's desk, reading a chick lit novel or sneaking out for a smoke.
“So you say,” he huffed.
“Baba, are you pouting?”
“Have mercy on your poor father, first you scare the living hell out of him and now you’re joking with me? This girl truly has no fear.”
“Sorry Baba,” she picked at her nails. “I’ve just been overwhelmed with schoolwork and everything. I’ll pay more attention.”
“Mm,” he grunted.
“How’s things at home?”
“They’re fine,” he sighed. “Hannah visits sometimes, but she’s busy with her new job. Bobby is staying with me. He’s got a new girlfriend.”
“Who’s it this time?” She rolled her eyes at the mention of her older brother. Good for nothing. He came to visit their dad whenever it suited him before disappearing for months at a time, paying no mind to their only living parent who craved company in that old house.
“Guess,” he mused.
“Our housekeeper?”
“No, Zara,” he said disapprovingly. “She’s old enough to be your grandmother.”
She smirked. “It’s not a friend of mine, is it?”
“Ah, I knew you would guess it,” he confirmed.
The colour blanched from her face. “What? You’re not serious?”
“It’s Sasha, your friend from summer school,” he said.
“Baba! That’s - that’s so wrong! She’s eighteen, she’s my age! Isn’t Bobby like twenty-six?”
“I met your mother when she was eighteen!”
“That’s different!”
“How?”
“Because - because - you guys didn’t have a massive age gap between you two!” She exclaimed.
“Don’t kick up a fuss, please,” he scolded. “I don’t need a fight between you two, not when I have him back after so long.”
Zara took several deep breaths, willing herself to remain quiet. If she said another word, she would risk Baba not talking to her for another week. Like last time.
“Fine, Baba,” she exhaled. “Is there anything else?”
“No, I just wanted to see how you were,” he mumbled.
“I’m fine.”
“Zara -”
“Look, I have to go, I have class in a minute and my teacher is coming any minute,” she lied.
“Okay, Zara,” he murmured. “Please take care of yourself and I’ll see you in Easter.”
“Bye, Baba.”
She put the phone down on the table, breathing heavily. A light tapping noise broke her from her stupor. She looked up to find Jasper sitting right opposite her.
“What are you doing here?” She said shakily. God, he kept her spooked. He appeared out of nowhere. Couldn’t she get a day off?
“I thought you’d be happy to see me,” he mused. “I’m hurt.” He placed his hand over his heart, a dramatic expression decorating his handsome face. Jasper seemed different today; less menace, more of the lighthearted boy humor that he occasionally showed.
“I’m really not in the mood for this, Jasper.”
“I’m not here to piss you off,” he stretched his arms out. “At least not intentionally.”
She ran her hands through her hair, her mind elsewhere. Jasper noted this, contemplating her quietly.
“Are you just going to stare at me all day like some creep?” She barked.
“If you like,” he retorted.
“Whatever,” she moved to stand, but he raised his hand, giving her a serious stare.
“Look, please sit,” he mumbled. She had to take a double take at his soft tone. All his communication skills comprised of barking orders to his lackeys and raging in people’s faces. “I want to talk.”
“I don’t,” she said.
“Five minutes,” he shrugged. “Then you can go.”
“How kind of you,” she said sarcastically.
“Please,” he repeated firmly.
She clenched her teeth. A big part of her wanted to push his buttons, to see how far he would go. But after everything, she was just exhausted and tired of fighting. Sitting down in the chair slowly, she studied him intensely.
“Yes?” She said.
“I want to apologise.”
“For which part?”
“For calling you a bitch when I confronted you,” he winced slightly. “I was out of line.”
The memories of their first encounter since winter break came flooding back. She grimaced at the image. “You called me a bitch twice, actually,” she pointed out.
“I apologise for both occasions,” he quirked his brow. “I’m not above saying sorry more than once.”
“You have other stuff to apologise for, you know.”
“I know,” he said without missing a beat.
“Well, it’s nice to have an apology,” she replied curtly. “Thanks.”
“I’m not done.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Are you always this abrasive?” He challenged. Sensing his cold tone, he relaxed his posture. He sighed, placing a milder tone in his voice. “I mean...I just don’t feel we need to argue all the time.”
“We don’t?” She said cautiously.
“We don’t,” he confirmed.
“But what about the - the order or whatever you did to make everyone ignore me? I suppose I’m just going to get used to being a social outcast?”
“I rescinded that,” he frowned, tilting his head. “Didn’t...didn’t you notice?”
She blinked a few times. “You did?”
He nodded with a confusion expression. “You seriously didn’t notice?”
“I-I...I haven’t really been in class yet to notice,” she mumbled.
“Oh.”
They both sat quietly, letting Jasper’s words linger in the air. Studying his features, she noted that he didn’t hold the same tension that seemed so characteristic of his frosty, hostile demeanour.
His coiffed, ash blonde hair rested immaculately against his chiseled face; an image that would be the envy of boys his age. Owing to his unpleasant behaviour, Zara hadn’t looked beyond that. But now? His softened glances and fiery eyes unsettled her defenses.
“You’re thinking out loud,” he mused.
She didn’t respond, pursing her lips. Maybe it was better to keep quiet. Holding a poker face was always a skill she could never master. Her emotions were like an open book that just wouldn’t shut.
“I don’t like it when you’re withholding from me,” he said.
“I’m not withholding anything. I simply choose to keep quiet and not respond; do I need your permission for that too?”
“No,” he shrugged.
“Good,” she crossed her arms. There it was. The defensive pose again. She relaxed her arms, sighing. “I’m sorry, I...I don’t really know how else to act around you. Hostility and general repulsion is all I know at the moment.”
“I don’t mind, as long as you don’t go silent on me. I think that’s worse,” he said, gazing at her with an unrecognisable emotion.
The blush was coming on again. Would he notice if she shielded her face with a book?
No, definitely noticeable.
“I gotta go,” she muttered quickly, moving up from her chair. She dashed past his chair, but he was ready for her, quickly grabbing her arm in his large hand. She looked down to where they were joined.
The skin-to-skin contact was too much.
If she was blushing before, sh
e was a bright red rose at this rate.
Before she could pull at his hold, he was one step ahead of her; Jasper pulled towards him until she fell unceremoniously into his lap.
Her wide eyes met his steady, confident gaze.
“W-what are you doing?” She stammered.
“So this is what you look like when you’re speechless,” he murmured. His warm breath tickled her skin, sending a shock wave of goosebumps. "I like it."
Why wasn’t she fighting him?
She should have pushed him away, screaming in disgust. But something about the way he held her with such unabashed confidence, firmly in his arms, sent flutters to her stomach.
She had to fight this.
“Jasper,” she whispered carefully, trying to untangle herself. It was no use. “This is a library, you do realise that? people can see us."
“I’m aware,” he drawled, playing with her hair. “On another note, a little birdie told me you came to see me.”
“I didn’t,” she sniffed. “I came to see Theo.”
She caught the way his jaw hardened, his eyes glinting with mischief. His arms tightened around her, his warmth pulsating through the fabric of her clothes.
“You’re making me jealous when you say words like that,” he rasped.
“That’s not my intention at all,” she breathed. "And what do you mean 'jealous'?"
“Do you like him?”
Her heart was slamming against her chest, the blood rushing through her body like there was no tomorrow. How had the conversation turned so quickly?
How had he dismantled her defenses as she sat trapped in his lap?
“I think he’s a good person,” she said unhelpfully.
“Stop teasing me,” he whispered in her ear, almost nuzzling into her neck. She had to stop herself from gasping out loud.
“What are you doing?” She breathed frantically. She was terrified Ms Altagracia would come out any minute and catch her in this wanton position. “We’re in a public place, Jasper.”
“You’re afraid,” he proclaimed, his warm teasing her skin.
He was taunting her and loving every minute.
“I’m not stupid,” she whispered harshly. She hoped her voice gave nothing away.
He looked up, staring in her wide, dilated eyes. Her eyes glanced down to his lips before flashing back up to his gaze, hoping he hadn’t noticed her moment of weakness, her feelings of attraction.
“Do you truly wish to be free of me?” He rasped.
Her chest rose up and down, panting out of breath. Why did he always ask questions that threw off her walls?
“Y-yes,” she muttered shakily.
She winced internally. She was lying.
“Liar,” he growled softly.
Jasper smashed his lips against hers, wasting no time in hungrily sucking on her bottom lip, tasting every part of her. She opened her mouth in surprise, giving him access as she tried to match his fervent kisses.
Zara couldn’t take it. It was too much, all at once, too fast and too sudden.
Pulling away, she looked at Jasper - truly looked at his expression - noting the way his eyes were wild with hunger, his mouth parted for a taste of her lips.
“What do you want from me?” She whispered quietly.
Without a trace of malice, without a sliver of doubt, he gave her a serious, unabashed stare. “You,” he murmured simply.
A sharp line etched between his thick brows, staring at her with an intensity that makes her bite her lip painfully hard.
“I’ll tell you a secret,” he whispered roughly. His finger trailed down her chest, lightly touching the hardened nipples underneath her blouse. Jasper’s heat radiated through the fabric, making Zara’s body ache with more of his touches. He delicately skimmed the hem of her skirt with his long, delicate fingers. Her breathing became hitched - uneven - broken - all because of him.
The battle between her mind and heart was truly raging on.
And her head was losing. Terribly.
“I want to touch you. Here,” he breathed, barely tracing the skin above her breasts. “Here,” he breathed again. This time he cupped her right breast firmly, massaging the hardened pebble with his fingers.
“Wait,” she whimpered. Her eyes were clenched shut. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t look at him and those traitorous eyes. The power they held over her was unspeakable.
“I want to know how you taste, Zara,” he hummed into my ear.
Shit.
Gasping in shock, she quickly scrambled off his lap. The action - rather than the force - caught him off guard as she used the opportunity to bolt away from him as fast as she could.
“Zara!” He called out furiously.
She ignored him.
Zara kept running, running down the corridor until she felt she was safe from prying eyes. There were eyes all over her other students whispering under their breaths, casting shocked glances at her frantic form as she ran up the stairs, finding the nearest girls’ bathroom.
Panting heavily, she checked every stall. It was empty.
Thanking her lucky stars, she bolted herself inside one cubicle, locking the door. She sat down, catching her breath.
What had just happened?
Chapter Nine
She fished her pocket for her phone, scrolling through her texts. One from Baba. One from Heidi.
Heidi?
Opening the message, she read its contents.
DUDE
Are you okay? Verity told me you were running down the corridor like crazy.
Zara tapped her reply, her fingers working furiously.
Jasper likes me
Heidi was typing. Zara waited anxiously, biting her finger.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
Maybe that was a mistake. Turning her phone off, she took several deep breaths, willing her heart to return to a steady pace.
She needed to stay away from him. The more she was around him, the quicker he dismantled her resistance, coaxing her feelings out from a hidden place. She felt like she had betrayed herself.
Jasper had been nothing but a dick to her since she started. Now, he had just confessed his feelings and kissed her senseless like they were lovers.
“Zara!” A desperate, rough voice echoed outside.
Zara’s eyes widened.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
She clutched her mouth tightly, stamping out any telltale noises. He knew she was here.
How the fuck did he find her?
Her gaze frantically searched her cubicle. There was only the flimsy lock separating the two of them.
It was only a matter of time before he would find her hiding place.
“I know you’re here,” Jasper said fervently. He kicked open a spare toilet stall, just a few spaces away from her. The frantic, violent kicks to the toilet stalls as they moved closer to where she hid, one by one, weighed on Zara’s anxiety.
Shit.
She had little time to run.
Closing her eyes, she waited for Jasper to approach her stall. She felt his heavy footsteps come forward, slowly yet with a determined pace. His head rested on the door. She could hear his breathing.
“Open the door,” he panted.
Zara said nothing, hoping that he would assume the cubicle was empty. But she wasn’t that naïve to think he would walk away.
“I know you’re here,” he reproached. “Open the door.”
“No,” Zara croaked. Clearing her throat, she pressed her hands on the door, pushing her weight onto it, making sure he wouldn’t come in. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“Too bad,” he growled, banging the door. “I’ll kick it open. Don’t think I won’t.”
“I won’t let you in!” She exclaimed before grunting under her breath. “Just get out. Haven’t you done enough already?”
“Please,” he exhaled heavily. “Please, just open the door.”
“I won’t.” Her body shook in anticipation, almost as if it
reacted to the mere proximity of Jasper.
“You feel the same as I do,” he rasped. “I see it in your eyes. I see it when you think I’m not looking. I see you, Zara. I fucking see you.”
“Why are you doing this?” Zara whispered on the other side of the door. She wanted the floor to swallow her whole, to take her away from this damned school, away from the watchful, hypnotic gaze of Jasper.
“Because you’re the only person I want,” he said roughly.
“Just let me by, Jasper,” she closed her eyes. “Let me pass and let us go our separate ways.”
“Where would you go?” He proclaimed passionately. “Away from me?”
“Yes, away from you.”
“I won’t let you.”
“You can’t stop me.”
“You can’t keep running every time we have this conversation,” he said in frustration. “I know you feel something too.”
“I don’t want to,” she muttered. “If I want to ignore whatever this is, that’s my right.”
“Open the goddamn door,” he said calmly. Too calmly.
She released a heavy breath. Her hand lingered over the lock.
“Please,” he whispered.
Click
She unlatched the lock, tentatively opening the door, seeing Jasper’s hard-lined face.
“I -” She started, but Jasper reached forward, pulling her into an embrace. He held her tight, wrapping his arms around her as he rested his chin on the top of her head.
“You think it’s easy for me to let you go?” He said huskily.
“I don’t understand this. It’s just -”
“A whirlwind?”
“A fucking whirlwind,” she mumbled angrily, burrowing into his chest. She couldn’t bear it if he saw her blush at the next words she was going to say. “You make me feel powerless,” she murmured softly. Zara pulled away from his chest. Her soft, blushing face stared into his searching, silver eyes, searching for a kindness inside that she desperately ached for.
He stroked her face, pulling her close. “Imagine how you make me feel.”
He touched her lips with his mouth, his tongue hungrily stroking at her lips, desperate for a taste of her sweet mouth. Whimpering softly, she tugged him closer, holding onto the lapels of his blazer. Every kiss, every touch; it was like an addiction. She craved more with him, every caress was never enough.
