“Then what’s going on?” Her voice was unsteady.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Well this is torture.”
He sighed, “I can see that. I thought we’d forget each other but seeing that photo of you and JD hurt.”
“He’s my friend, nothing more. I didn’t think you’d care anyway. I was more worried about Dad.”
“I’m sorry.” He whispered before leaning down to touch their lips together again. This time Dani wrapped her arms around him like he could disappear. Cooper held onto her waist, still unable to fully give himself over but much more involved than Dani would have believed possible. She could feel his erection and shamelessly rubbed against it, trying to erase her horrible memory of Fisher Davis. She shuddered and Cooper pulled away. Dani wasn’t ready to surrender him yet and clung tightly but he was much stronger and held her at arm’s length, taking several deep breaths.
He startled her by asking. “Can you get out of here?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll pick you up out front in one minute. Is that committed enough?”
She smiled at his cheeky grin, “It’ll do for now.”
“We’ll go to my place and see what happens from there.”
She scurried ahead of him, Cooper firmly locking the door before waving at JD and leaving. Dani explained to JD that she was going, talking loud over the music, grinning when he gave her a high five.
◆◆◆
Marcus was frustrated and just about done with this fucking story. He had obtained extensive financial information, completely illegally and for an exhaustive cost, but at every turn Birgetta Growler’s income trail disappeared into confusion.
She had funds deposited into accounts from the most bizarre people and companies and Marcus just didn’t know how to unravel it. None of the amounts were astronomical yet when he picked at a few ideas they made no sense. She was paid by the magazine, her tabloid junk was weekly and she was on a salary instead of a contract, but why the hell was she being paid by a production company? The Growler had no television work and none of his contacts thought she consulted on any shows.
Knowing he was getting nowhere Marcus just couldn’t let it go and returned to picking through what he knew over and again, certain the answers were right in front of him but baffled by how they fit together.
Chapter Fourteen
At Cooper’s apartment Dani asked for tea, knowing he had no alcohol but needing something to calm her anxiety. Was this what she really wanted?
“How is this going to work?” Cooper bluntly asked, handing over a cup and flopping down onto the couch next to her.
She studied her shaking hands, trying not to spill hot tea on herself. “Be all manly and throw me on the bed or something.”
He scowled. “Is that what you want?”
At his concern, she said, “Maybe not.”
“Look, I made the decision two years ago to never be vulnerable again.”
“Even sexually vulnerable?”
“Especially sexual. I gave up sex.”
“Did you really think you would last the rest of your life without it?”
“Priests do it. Why not me?”
“Because you’re like, Mr Testosterone. And priests are not a good example of virtue. The media have crucified them worse than you.”
“I hope some of them deserved it.”
“Do you still think you deserved it?”
He thought about this, “Probably.” At Dani’s incredulity he added, “I was arrogant, Dani, it was only a matter of time before something happened to bring me down. I just wish I knew for certain if I had hurt that girl.”
“Oh, come on, Cooper. That innocent girl sold her story then dropped out when the media found gaping flaws in her holier than thou claim. Just like some of those priests she was exposed for what she was, self-serving and hypocritical.
“I know all that but this isn’t about her, it’s about me, what I expect of myself and what I think I’m capable of.”
“But what about me?”
“What about you?”
“I’m the one paying for whatever happened.”
He looked at her for a long time, “I don’t know what to say. You’re right but there’s not a lot I can do about it.”
“Do you like me?”
He looked at her like she was an idiot. “Clearly, I’ve tried to stay away from you.” He shrugged, “My selfishness hasn’t been completely eradicated.”
“Selfishness? For wanting to be happy. It’s basic human nature to be connected, to be involved, to have sex, to be loved.” When he remained quiet she added on a sigh, “What would you have done now, in the old days?”
He smiled, “You mean when I got a woman back to my lair?”
“If you like. Did they get all this chatter?”
“No, I was never particularly interested in what they thought.”
“Then don’t worry what I think.” She winked, “Show me your worst.”
He took a deep breath than moved closer. He ran a finger over her face, “The bruises are gone.” He said, then peered into her eyes, “What about in here?” He tapped her forehead gently.
“Not great.” She admitted, “But I’ll get over it. What about you?”
“Not so good.” He sighed and moved away. “This isn’t going to work.”
Dani wailed, “This is getting seriously bad for my ego not to mention I’m getting really cranky.”
He asked, “What does that have to do with me?”
“I’m just going to say this. I haven’t had sex in a really long time and think it would be good for me, or for everyone around me . . .” She waved her hands like he should understand. His laugh indicated he did.
“Everyone thinks you’re cranky and need sex?”
“Yeah.” She groaned, “I’m so embarrassed.”
“I would be doing you a favor really. Not vice versa.”
“Something like that.”
Cooper lifted his glass of water and took a sip, staring into space for far longer than any man should at the prospect of sex with a woman he liked. Dani sighed dramatically a few times to hurry him along, trying not to be annoyed.
She finally snapped. “If it’s too much trouble forget it.” She launched herself from the couch, striding for the door.
He caught her as she reached for the door handle. Dani hadn’t even heard him move but suddenly she was pressed face first against the door while Cooper husked in her ear. “Don’t go, I can do this.”
“Don’t do me any favors.” She grumbled, as he kissed along her neck and up to her ear, his hands firmly holding her waist. Dani braced her palms on the door and closed her eyes as sensations washed over her. She felt his reaction against her back and moved against him in encouragement.
He released her waist to hold her hands against the door, his big body keeping her pinned tight, the only sound his labored breathing. Realizing something wasn’t right, Dani shook him off to turn and stare up into his face. It was awful to see a man so conflicted, craving relief from his self-imposed celibacy, which he had clung to as proof he was a decent person, yet so desperately wanting her now.
He pressed against her again, groaning with need before his eyes clamped shut, keeping her out of his head. She reached up to run a finger down his cheek, enjoying the feel of his rough skin and the defined bones beneath.
Unthinkingly and from her heart she whispered, “You are beautiful, Cooper.”
His eyes snapped open and he studied her with a ferocity she couldn’t comprehend. Instead of replying he kissed her with such intensity she felt stripped bare, naked by his need and her own willingness to accept it, to be the person to create the safety he needed to re-establish himself as a sexual being.
She was not being a martyr to his needs, she had some serious feelings for this man that were best studied away from her greedy urges. Once this was done she would understand it more clearly, more diplomatically. But right now, wi
th her hands unbuttoning his shirt, slipping inside to feel the warmth of his skin after the chill winter air outside, she could only hope that logic didn’t impinge on her enjoyment.
He coped with her explorations until her fingers strayed to his pants, working the button open. One big hand covered both hers and she closed her eyes, thudding her head against his chest, annoyed at herself for rushing him. She was going to have to go slowly which would be painful.
Hauling her hands from his grasp she reached up again to hold his head while she took his lips. This was easier, Cooper knew he could cope with kissing now. Dani realized she would have to keep pushing him to the next level, proof that nothing bad would happen and he wouldn’t hurt her.
After what felt like eternity Dani slipped his shirt away continuing to kiss him. Cooper didn’t flinch, probably because he was used to being naked from the waist up around players, it was below his beltline that was going to cause problems. Dani slipped her t-shirt over her head, keeping her movements relaxed yet efficient. Christ, this was like herding nervous rabbits.
When Cooper touched her bare skin he gasped and stepped away so quickly Dani fell after him, stumbling until she thudded into his back.
“What’s wrong?” She panted, fighting the urge to punch him in the kidneys.
After some gasping, Cooper said, “Nothing, I’m good.”
“Are my tits not big enough?” She was being flippant, needing him to explain what was going on in his head.
He turned, gasping at her in jeans and a bra. His fingers frantic in his hair doing crazy things to his abs. He husked, “I can’t even see your tits.”
“Do you even want to?” She asked.
His eyes slid back to hers and Dani felt like a bitch, wanting to erase the pained guilt there.
“I don’t know if I can?”
“You’re scared.” She stated for him.
“I feel sick.” He was wheezing and trembling badly.
“Are you coming down with something or are you freaking out?”
“I think I’m freaking out. Can you have a panic attack from dry humping someone?” He was genuinely concerned and Dani smiled.
“Have you had panic attacks before to compare this to?”
“I think that’s what they were when everything came out, when the world decided I was a rapist.”
“I’m here willingly. Do you want me to sign something?”
“Don’t be trivial.” His gaze never strayed from hers and Dani knew Cooper found her face much safer than her body. He was used to looking women in the eye, not gazing at them half naked.
“You need to talk. I can’t read your mind and I don’t know how to help you.”
His jaw clenched in determination as he stepped toward her once more then stopped. “I want this to be good but I just can’t do it. My body wants one thing and my heads telling me to run away.”
“Tell your stupid head to shut up.” Dani sadly said. When he didn’t reply she sighed, “We don’t have to rush, we have plenty of time.”
He was glued to the spot, “Can you put your shirt back on?”
“Nope, you’re going to get used to this and believe me it’s harder on me.”
“I don’t see how.”
“Look at your body, it’s perfect and I have to stand here while you gasp and look like I’ve just crawled out of a swamp. I’m no supermodel but this isn’t cool.”
“You’re perfect. I’ve never wanted someone like this.” He ground out.
“You don’t want me either, Cooper. Explain what you do want.”
“I do want you. Isn’t it obvious?”
Dani shrugged, “I’ve never dealt with anything like this. If you want me to stay, tell me what to do. How can I help you?”
Annoyed when he returned to gazing elsewhere, Dani made a split-second decision to push him. She would be utterly embarrassed in the morning anyway. Reaching behind her she flicked the catch on her bra and let it fall to the floor.
When Cooper realized she was naked from the waist up his breathing stopped and he returned to his couch, sitting down with a thud and burying his head in his hands. Dani thought he was about to faint. The man worked with massive thugs in a sport that was televised around the globe, he clearly enjoyed it, and yet being alone with her half naked had him wheezing like an asthmatic.
“That’s as much abuse as my ego can handle for one night.” She said, reaching for her t-shirt, tucking her bra into her jeans pocket. After finding her jacket she remembered Cooper had driven. “Are you taking me home or am I calling a cab.”
Sad, Cooper hauled himself off the couch as if he were an old man. “I’ll take you home.” He put his own jacket on while Dani waited, tense, wanting to be away.
He touched the side of her face and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll be back tomorrow and the night after and as many times as necessary until this is done.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She glared, “Too bad. I’m a Maxwell, we're gluttons for punishment.”
“Aren’t you scared this will push me over the edge?”
“Well if you don’t do something illegal to me soon I’ll hurt you.”
She was serious which only made Cooper grin. “Has anyone mentioned you’re terrifying when your angry?”
“Yes, so I suggest you gather up your courage for tomorrow night.”
Taking a deep breath he pushed her out the door, “Great.” He whispered.
◆◆◆
Returning to her little apartment since it was closer to Cooper’s place than her parents, Dani was stunned when he had kissed her thoroughly and for a long time in the car. This gave Dani hope. He was comfortable kissing now, enthusiastic even, she just wished the rest of it were not so difficult.
Expecting to lie awake all night, agonizing on how to get the stupid man into bed, she was surprised to open her eyes the next morning. She stumbled through her morning routine, showering, eating and rubbing arnica on a few remaining tender spots. No wonder Cooper was unsure, she looked a disaster.
Her phone rang, surprising her out of her misery, “Morning, Princess.” Cooper was upbeat compared to last night.
“It’s raining.” She grumbled.
“Are you angry at me or life in general?”
“Both.” She snapped, “I suppose you’ve already run a marathon.”
“Just a few K’s and a gym session with the team. I’m heading out for a swim soon then light training later. I guess you haven’t looked online yet?” At her groan he added, “I just thought I’d warn you.”
“What’s that bitch saying now?” Dani was getting seriously sick of Birgetta Growler. They needed to meet again, face to face to find a resolution. Dani would learn the art of diplomacy. It would be a growing experience.
“Funny thing, it’s not her.” Cooper said. “It’s not very big news either, just a small piece by some reporter who sounds suspiciously like her.”
“She’s passing her rubbish off under another name?”
“Look it up when you get the chance and tell me what you think. Perhaps Marcus wants to know too.”
“Good idea, I’ll look it up in a minute.” Her eyes narrowed and she said, “What time am I coming over tonight? I’m not at Mum and Dad’s now so you’re more than welcome to come here. Whatever makes you comfortable.”
“I wanted to talk to you about that. I’ve got a lot of work going on right now and I was wondering if we could maybe have a rain check?”
“No way!” She said, fighting to remain calm, “I’ll be at your place at six. I expect you to be half naked as we’ll start where we finished off.”
“Dani, look this is not going to . . .”
“It will work, just tell your stupid brain to shut up.”
“Christ, you’re grumpy.”
“You know why, so fix it.”
“Alright, we’ll try but when it doesn’t work again please understand why.”
“I understand, you think you’re a predator and I’ll somehow get blown to a million pieces by your evilness.” When he didn’t reply she added, “When in truth I’m probably a bigger deviant than you. Right now I want to do things to you that I’m certain are illegal in certain parts of the world.”
Groaning loudly, Cooper said, “Don’t say that on the phone. You never know who might be listening.”
“Do you know Birgetta’s a junkie?”
“I doubt it. I’ve met junkies and she’s lucid.”
“I got a look inside her bag, there’s pills and powders.” Dani paused, “I don’t want to talk about her. Let’s talk about you getting naked again. I like you naked.”
Laughing, Cooper said, “Alright, I give up, you’re too tough. I should have known with your pedigree that I was doomed from the beginning.”
“That’s right, so stop fighting. I promise it will be worthwhile.”
“So confident?” He was amused.
“I’m being brave to cover how scared I am that you’ll find me gross again.”
“Babe, it’s not you. I’m a mess, an idiot. Do you know the effort it took not to go at you last night?”
“Then why hold back when we both want the same thing?”
“What if anything goes wrong? If you get hurt. I could end up where I was and I can’t go back there, even for you. And please don’t say it would never happen because you don’t know that.”
“All I can say is that I trust you to look after me.”
Cooper was silent for a long moment. “I hope I don’t let you down.” Slamming the door on that topic, he changed the subject. “Go look up that story. It’s a reporter called Mai Tai. Call me back if you want to talk about it otherwise I’ll see you at my place at six.” He ran out of confidence at the end and Dani rolled her eyes.
“We can go out to dinner if you prefer. Do something normal.”
“I’m not ready for dinners out yet.” At her tense silence he added, “Soon, one step at a time.”
“You’re supposed to buy me dinner before you get down my pants, Cooper. It’s standard dating protocol.”
Rules of her Game: A Contemporary Sports Romance Page 13
