by Karin Baine
‘You don’t understand. It’s not about being happy or content. It’s about not feeling any worse.’ Someone who looked like an Aussie surfer and ran a successful business would never have her worries.
‘So, tell me.’ He sat back in his chair, arms folded, waiting for her to unload.
‘I joined the army to get away from people staring and talking about me as though I’m not a real person.’
‘That’s the reason you went into service?’ He raised an eyebrow in disbelief at her. She really wasn’t explaining herself very well but it was the first time she’d tried to put how she was feeling into actual words.
‘Not entirely. I wanted to be someone of worth, to do something I could be proud of and help people where I could.’
‘You mightn’t be able to go back to that now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be an asset elsewhere. You’re certainly going to be inspirational for my charity families.’
‘I’m sure I’ll make a great pin-up girl,’ she scoffed.
‘I never had you pinned as someone who sat around feeling sorry for herself.’ Blotches of red blossomed in his cheeks but it was Georgiana who felt the sting. Was that how he saw her? A spoilt rich girl feeling sorry for herself? After some thought she realised it wasn’t an unreasonable conclusion to come to, given her recent behaviour.
‘If you have parents who are more interested in public perception than the welfare of their children, you might realise why I’m so fixated on my...imperfection. As far as my mother’s concerned, I’m damaged goods. The only way I could ever be right again is if I grew my leg back.’ She thought of Freddie, her beautiful fun-loving brother. His perceived imperfection had been his sexuality. Something else to shame their parents.
Just as she couldn’t change her circumstances, neither could Freddie. He hadn’t been able to live with the disappointment any better than she could. Georgiana’s way of coping was to hide away. Surely that was a better option than taking one’s life? Depending on who you asked, of course.
‘Really? I didn’t get that impression from talking to her. She came across as being very proud of you.’
Any form of praise for her parents always darkened her mood.
‘I’m sure she managed to give you that impression for the duration of her appointment. Saving face is part of her job description. The reality is somewhat different.’ Her mother didn’t seem as proud when she was giving her those sideways glances of despair any time Georgiana had her false leg on show. She certainly hadn’t been loud and proud about her colourful son either.
‘Who do you think suggested I called in on you that first night? She’s worried about you but afraid to go anywhere near you and who can blame her? You’re a hard person to crack, Georgiana Ashley.’
There was that unpleasant sinking in her stomach again. A sense of betrayal and confusion about what had been going on behind her back dragging her down into despair.
‘Is—is that why she hired you? To break me down?’ She’d thought their meeting and subsequent forays at the clinic had been a happy quirk of fate. Finding out it was something her mother had orchestrated made a mockery of her and the emotions she’d begun experiencing around Ed.
The odd food combination she’d had along with this nauseating bombshell made her want to vomit.
Ed let out a groan of frustration and scrubbed his hands over his head. ‘She didn’t hire me for you. Your mother brought me in for a consultation on her back injury. All she asked where you were concerned was to have a chat and make sure you were all right. Everything that happened after that arose from circumstance and opportunity. It wasn’t a set-up.’
‘Is that what all this was about? Be nice to the poor amputee who’s so desperate for company she’ll do anything in return?’
‘Of course not. I’m not that kind of man, Georgiana. If I was trying to butter you up don’t you think I’d take you somewhere more upmarket?’ Now Ed was the one all puffed up with indignation, his voice carrying farther than she appreciated.
‘I couldn’t say. It’s not as if I know you.’ She leaned across the table to continue the argument in private, hoping to persuade Ed to do the same so as not to draw any attention from bystanders.
He looked as though she’d helped herself to his food as well as hers. His pain so palpable she could nearly feel it.
‘I thought we were getting along well.’ The laid-back Ed she’d thought him to be was gone, to be replaced with someone prepared to stand against the disservice she was doing him. He got up, walked over to the bin and deposited his rubbish in one short, sharp motion before returning to the table.
Georgiana considered what he’d had to say and the way he was reacting to the suggestion their interaction this far had been a convoluted plot by her mother. It was blatantly obvious how annoyed he was in his tone and his body language. Unless he was an award-winning actor, she’d really insulted him.
She was both relieved and remorseful, even if none of this managed to change her mind.
‘If I got that wrong, I apologise.’ She was stubborn and defensive but when she was wrong, she admitted it. Something she’d learned was important from parents who would never confess to making mistakes. Apologies and acknowledgement of wrongdoings were vital for closure. Poor Freddie never got his and she doubted she ever would either.
‘You did get it wrong. Apology accepted.’ The thin line of his mouth relaxed along with his frown. One good thing about a man who didn’t sweat the small stuff was that he didn’t appear to hold a grudge either. Georgiana wished she were more like him.
Whatever Ed might think, she didn’t see what difference she could make to anyone’s life when her own was so pathetic the one person who’d befriended her now stood accused of being paid off to do so.
How was such a paranoid, needy loser going to improve someone else’s lot? Unless she was held up as an example of what not to become. None of this changed her mind about the situation.
Ed waved a white paper napkin in surrender. ‘Truce?’
What choice did she have but to agree to a ceasefire in hostilities when he was the only person she had to talk to?
She took her time finishing her drink, knowing they were going to be locked in the car soon, where she’d be suffocated under that damned blanket and the reminder of failing her public duty.
The door to the coffee shop was thrown open and a young family burst in. Their excited chatter filled the air and took the pressure off her to try and make more conversation with Ed.
‘What do you want, Ethan?’ The young dad ushered his boisterous son into a booth next to them, followed by his other half, who was pushing a buggy.
‘Hot chocolate.’ The youngster climbed up on the back of the seat to stare over at Georgiana. She gave him a flash of a smile then pulled her baseball cap down again.
‘Sit down, son, and leave the lady alone.’ The father tugged him back down, making sure he was settled in a seat before he went to the counter.
The baby started wailing then to be released from its imprisonment, and as his mother was busy trying to pacify her youngest Ethan made a break for it again.
Georgiana couldn’t see what was going on behind her but she could guess as draughts of cold air hit the back of her neck.
‘Ethan, leave the door alone,’ his father bellowed from the other side of the coffee shop.
‘Time to go?’ Ed suggested and Georgiana nodded her head enthusiastically. There’d been sufficient conflict for one night. She didn’t need to be involved in anyone else’s domestic.
‘Yes, please.’ She deposited her rubbish and they made their move to go.
Suddenly there was a blood-curdling scream drawing the attention of everyone in the café towards the door.
‘Ethan!’ The little boy’s mother was screaming just as loudly as her son and it wasn’t long before they saw why.
/> ‘He’s trapped his fingers in the door.’ Ed hared off towards the sobbing boy, where the glass door was now smeared with tears and blood.
‘We need a first-aid kit now. Now!’ Georgiana shouted to the staff. She was straight back into medic mode faced with the emergency.
Ed held the door at an angle so she could ease the boy’s hand out of the door jamb. Whatever he’d been up to, he’d managed to get his fingers caught inside the heavy hinged door.
The distraught parents rushed over but she knew it would be best for them to keep their distance until they managed to stem Ethan’s injuries.
‘We’re both medical professionals. If you could phone an ambulance, we’ll take care of your son.’
The dad immediately got out his mobile phone and the mum did her best to soothe both of their children while looking close to tears herself.
‘It’ll be okay, Ethan, baby.’
‘They can’t get anyone here for a while. All available ambulances have been diverted to a major emergency on the motorway.’ Ethan’s father relayed the bad news but Ed remained calm as he knelt down beside the boy. ‘We’ll take him to my clinic down the street. I can help him.’
He motioned Georgiana over and she could see why he was anxious to get the child to the clinic. The large gash running along the back of his hand was bleeding everywhere and so deep she could see exposed bone.
She grabbed a bottle of water from behind the counter, which Ed poured over the wound to clean it. Ethan yelled.
‘Sorry, mate, we don’t want anything nasty to get in there and cause an infection. Georgiana, can you get a dressing out for me?’ Ed was holding the boy’s hand up, trying to stem the flow of blood, and left it to her to inspect the contents of the first-aid kit provided by the staff.
She took out a wad of tissues and dabbed the area to dry it off before applying a sterile dressing. The wound was going to need stitching but that would keep it dry and clean until they could get him to the clinic. ‘Are you doing okay, Ethan? Let me know if you start to feel sick or dizzy, okay?’
Shock was an important factor to look out for after any injury and particularly in one so traumatic, but Ethan’s father gathered him up in his arms and Georgiana knew everyone was keeping a close eye on the boy to make sure he’d be okay.
* * *
They must have made an odd-looking procession as they made their way to the clinic premises. Ethan was still holding his hand up but the dressing was soaked with blood and the child was greyer than the overcast sky.
Ed was racing ahead to get the place opened. There was no way Georgiana could keep up with him without her gait giving away her secret. She stayed behind with the pram-pushing mum.
‘Don’t worry. Ed’s a surgeon. He knows what he’s doing.’ There was no one better to have in a medical emergency.
The young woman nodded but didn’t speak. As she was biting down hard on her lip, Georgiana could tell she was afraid of saying anything and breaking down when she was trying to be strong for her son. She had some inkling of what that was like.
‘I’ll wait out here to direct the paramedics. I’m not great with blood,’ the mum finally admitted.
‘You’ll be better in the fresh air and it’s probably not a bad idea to keep the baby out of it all.’
Georgiana managed to give her a reassuring pat on the back before disappearing inside after the others. They’d need as little distraction as possible in there.
Ed had set up in one of the treatment rooms, where bright lights were dazzling and Ethan was perched up on a bed with his arm stretched out.
‘Georgiana, I’m going to need your help here.’ Ed was sitting in a chair by the bed, carefully unwrapping the blood-soaked dressing from around the boy’s hand.
‘Okay.’ His request caught her unawares as he seemed to have everything under control, but she was pleased he’d thought to include her. That her career history hadn’t been completely consigned to the past along with having two good legs.
‘If you could clean things up here again, I’m going to give him something for the pain.’
She sat on the bed beside Ethan, armed with the swabs and iodine Ed had provided.
‘Hi, Ethan, my name is... Georgie.’ It was important to her to draw a line somewhere between her public and private persona.
From the corner of her eye she could see Ed smirk, but this wasn’t the time to get into one of their spats. She didn’t have to explain her every move to him.
‘We’re going to get you cleaned up and give you something to take the pain away.’
‘Ow!’ he cried as she dabbed delicately at his hand.
‘I know it hurts but this is all to make you better.’
Ethan buried his head into his dad’s chest but let her do what she had to.
Ed turned back with a needle in his hand. ‘You’re going to feel a little scratch, Ethan, but this is going to take away the pain for you.’
Georgiana held the small hand in place for Ed to inject. It would make it easier to stitch and lessen the chance of infection setting in.
She had no doubt Ed could undertake that or any possible surgery should the need arise. He had that same temperament and skill that would’ve served him well if he’d chosen to work in a military environment.
‘Good boy,’ she encouraged when she saw Ethan tense at his advance.
Once the injection had been administered, Ed made sure the wound was clear and the area was numb before he began to suture.
‘You’ll feel a little tug when I’m stitching, Ethan, but it shouldn’t be painful.’ Ed pulled the sides of the skin together and closed them with the tiny needle and thread.
‘It’ll all be over in a second,’ Georgiana soothed.
Once Ed had finished suturing, she applied another sterile dressing to cover the site and keep it clean and dry.
It was a revelation to her that she could still be of use in this field. Ed was the lead here but she knew she could’ve handled this on her own had it come to it. Her medical skills hadn’t deserted her simply because her confidence had. What was more, this feeling of being useful in some capacity had given her spirits a lift. Which was more than any well-meaning words had managed from those around her.
She gave Ed credit for getting her to see she didn’t have to resign herself to being on the scrap heap. Even if he’d been harsh in the delivery. Although they both knew she would never have responded to a soft approach.
If this feeling could be sustained, she wanted to capture it now. She could help, she could improve a child’s life and she wanted to do it.
Ed gave aftercare instructions and told them to have the stitches taken out at the hospital, with a warning if there were any signs of infection to have Ethan’s hand seen sooner. Georgiana waited until the family were on their way home before she approached Ed. Her blood was pumping in anticipation of discussing things with him. Positivity was surging in her veins, giving her a renewed sense of purpose. It was a small step but one in the right direction. One out of the shadows and into the light. Where hopefully a new future was waiting for her and others in her situation.
As they stood outside once more, the excitement over, Ed shut the clinic one final time. Georgiana inhaled a lungful of cool, clean air.
‘I’d like to help with Hannah. I’ll talk to her for you.’ She didn’t have time to consider the implications of another commitment she’d made as Ed grabbed her into a bear hug. It was good to be back in her rightful place.
CHAPTER SIX
ED HAD HELD his tongue the whole way back to the palace last night. Afraid to make a song and dance about Georgiana’s decision in case she changed her mind in the cold light of day. After all they’d just been involved in a medical drama.
He was sure it had been a long time since she’d been involved in anything like that but Georgiana was on the phon
e first thing. Literally as soon as dawn broke.
‘Hello?’
‘Hello, Ed? This is Georgiana.’ Her perky voice instantly made him sit upright in his bed so he didn’t sound as though he’d been fast asleep only seconds before.
‘What can I do for you?’
‘I wanted to let you know I’m still available for that chat with Hannah if you can sort something out with her parents.’
‘That’s great. I’ll call them when it’s a more reasonable hour.’ He yawned, but waking up to the sound of her excitement wasn’t the worst thing to start the day.
‘Sorry for waking you. I haven’t slept much.’
‘It was a lot to deal with. I was going to call you anyway to see how you were after last night. You beat me to it.’ She’d certainly been on his mind. Enough for Ed to wonder if he’d been dreaming when he’d heard her on the other end of the phone.
‘Is it awful of me to say I got a real buzz out of it?’
‘There’s nothing like an emergency to get the heart pumping, is there? No need to feel bad about it. Ethan’s going to be fine.’
‘Now if we can do something for Hannah too...’
He liked the sound of ‘we’. It denoted a bond as well as forgiveness for omitting to tell her from the start about her mother’s involvement.
‘Can I ask what prompted your decision to help?’ He finally blurted out the question that had been on his lips since she’d mentioned it last night. She seemed in such good spirits and lacking that usual defensive attitude; he was curious about what had brought it about.
‘It was Ethan actually. I’d forgotten what it was like to be useful. I thought about what you said and you were right. My army days are behind me but I could have a new path waiting for me. It might take some adjusting but I want to do something other than being a burden to people. I want to make a difference.’ Ed could hear the passion in her voice and it was intoxicating. Everything he’d wanted for her. Coming to terms with the end of her life as she’d known it was no small feat but after seeing her in action he knew she had so much more to give.
