by Bella Jewel
Chase gives Tatum a look so angry, I pause for a moment and my eyes widen. “What I did?” Chase laughs bitterly. “I didn’t act alone, Tatum. You want me to face up to it now, but you were quick to help me when I told you what happened back then.”
“I was younger and a lot more fuckin’ stupid back then. You’re my little brother, I thought I was doin’ the right thing. Callie meant nothin' to me, I didn’t know her. It’s different now.”
“Oh,” he growls, “so you know her and now you want different things?”
“Yeah, exactly. You want to get angry, you can get angry, but it wasn’t me who got you into that mess back then. Own up to it, Chase. Face what you fuckin’ did and wear it.”
Chase makes an angry muttering sound under his breath and stands, jerking away from me. “Don’t need my family to be against me too.”
Tatum walks over, his face tight, and takes Chase by the shirt, pushing him backward until he slams against a nearby wall, his face scrunching in a wince. “Listen to me, little brother,” Tatum hisses, his voice hard, “I am your family. I helped you at a time when you should have taken yourself to the cops. You ran from a situation and I let you do it. Did it because I love you, and I’m doin’ this now because I fuckin’ love you. I’m not always goin’ to bail you out of things, I’m goin’ to make you face them too, because that’s what family does. It isn’t always rainbows; sometimes we face storms together too. You gotta own up to this and you gotta stop blamin’ everyone else for bein’ here right now.”
Chase grits his teeth and growls, “Let me go.”
Tatum lets him go and he turns, disappearing out the front door. I know he’s angry, but Tatum is right, he can’t blame the rest of the world for this one. No. This one is on him, and he knows it, he just doesn’t want to face it.
“I should go, too,” I say my voice soft. “Callie is probably going to want to talk by the sounds of it.”
Tatum nods, and turns to me, walking over and cupping my jaw, bringing his lips down to mine. “When all this is said and done, we’ll finish what we started tonight. Don’t you doubt it.”
“Sounds good to me,” I say, accepting another kiss.
“Night, honey,” he murmurs, letting me go.
“Night, Tatum.”
I walk out the front door, closing it behind me and look back at the house with a small smile on my face. I came here not expecting to leave feeling the way I feel right now. I feel as if I’m walking on water, like I’m light as a feather. It’s a nice feeling, after all the pain we’ve experienced in the last month or so.
It feels good.
Real.
“I knew it.”
I spin around at the sound of a familiar voice, and see Patrick standing by my car out the front of the house. A car I really, really shouldn’t have driven over here, considering I had a few drinks beforehand. I, more than anyone, should know better than that.
“What the hell are you doing here, Patrick?” I say, rushing over to the car. “If Tatum sees you here, it’ll end badly, you know that, right?”
“I knew you’d be here. I went to your house and no one was there, I found out where your little boyfriend lives and found my way over here, and sure enough, here you are.”
“First of all, how in the hell did you find out where he lives?”
“I’m a powerful man, it doesn’t take much for me to find the information I need, Joanne.”
“There’s something wrong with you, you know that, right?”
“The only thing that’s wrong with me is that my wife is cheating on me. You smell of sex, how stupid do you think I am?”
“We’re separated, last time I checked.”
“We’re still legally married, you think that doesn’t count?”
God. He has probably found a way to make it count.
“What do you want from me, Patrick?”
“I want you to sign a document, stating you’ll only take what I agree to give you. Then I’ll happily proceed to divorcing you, as requested.”
“If the document is fair, I’ll happily sign it. If it’s not, I won’t. I’ve been good to you, Patrick. I’ve worked hard, too. I don’t deserve to walk away with nothing.”
He leans in close, growling, “Everything you have is because of me, Joanne. Everything.”
“Wrong,” I say, stepping backward. “Everything I have is because I’ve worked hard, too. If the document is fair, I’ll sign it. End of story.”
“Fuck,” he growls, clenching his fists. “As if you’re not already putting me through enough, now this. What more do you want from me, Joanne? You’ve cheated on me, you’re going to make me look like a fool in the media when you start getting around with your little boyfriend, the least you can do is sign a fucking document.”
“I said, if it’s fair, I will sign it. I’m not going over this with you, Patrick,” I say calmly.
Angrily, he steps toward me, fists still clenched.
“You take another step toward her, I’ll flatten you, fucker.”
We both look over to see Tatum walking down the path, still shirtless, looking so damned good I’m actually kind of glad Patrick gets to see him like this, in all his glory, looking so fucking good it’s hard to see anything else. I shouldn’t be so spiteful, but hell, I’m tired of being nice to a man that wants nothing but the worst for me.
“Who the hell are you? Is this your fucking boyfriend, Joanne?” Patrick snaps, but he steps away from me.
Even he has to know Tatum would literally flatten him if he wanted to.
He’s far bigger, far stronger.
“Don’t matter who I am, what matters is that you’re threatening her on my front lawn. You leave, or I’ll make you fuckin’ leave.”
“This is how it’s going to be now, is it?” Patrick scoffs to me. “You’re going to get him to fight all your battles?”
“Just leave, Patrick,” I say, my voice calm even though inside I’m buzzing from the events.
“I won’t be pushed around, Joanne, by you or him. Sign the document if you know what’s good for you,” Patrick says, glaring at me.
“You got three seconds to get lost, before I start comin’ a whole lot closer to you,” Tatum says, his voice an angry whip.
Patrick glares at him. “You’re playing with fire.”
“One,” Tatum starts counting, his fists clenched.
“Seriously, Joanne?” Patrick says to me, his face horrified.
“Two,” Tatum continues.
“He’s not joking, Patrick, I’d leave,” I warn.
Patrick gives me another look that screams vengeance, and then turns and storms off down the street. I exhale when he’s out of sight. I’m glad Tatum is defending me, but I won’t lie, the idea of him beating Patrick after the night we’ve had isn’t something I was looking forward to.
“You good?” Tatum asks.
Am I good?
God only knows.
10
CALLIE
“I looked up and she was on the side of the road, she met my eyes, and then she just stepped out. I couldn’t stop, even if I was watching, I wouldn’t have seen it coming. She wanted me to hit her,” I say to Mr. and Mrs. Yates, my hands clasped in front of me, my heart racing a million miles an hour. “I wasn’t drinking, and I wasn’t driving recklessly, I did look away, yes, but only for a second.”
Tanner gives me an encouraging nod, and I go on.
“When I was locked away, I made it my mission to find out what really happened to Celia, so when I got out, I started looking into it. I found out about Chase and thought it strange he disappeared. I dug deeper and found out that he was behind it all, but I didn’t know how. We managed to get him to confess and have brought him home to tell the truth,” I go on, not daring to tell them I broke into their house and stole Celia’s laptop to get that information.
“What exactly happened to her?” Mr. Yates asks, his voice so tight it’s alarming.
I look to Tanne
r but he nods at me again. He wants me to have the chance to tell the story, like I’ve always wanted, only now it doesn’t feel as relieving as I thought it would. It feels ... horrible. I know when I go into further detail about what happened to Celia that night, they’re going to wish they never heard it. They’re going to wish they forever lived thinking I was the villain.
“I ...” I say, hesitant.
“Just tell the story,” Mr. Yates growls.
I close my eyes, take a shaky breath and say, “Chase got in with the wrong crowd and started messing around with drugs. He owed some big people some big money, and they went after him for it. They got Celia and him, and they drugged him so he was helpless, then they ...”
I stop—saying the words makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t want to ruin their lives forever; I don’t want them to see that image in their heads for the rest of their days.
“Just say it,” Mrs. Yates whispers, her head dropped as she stares at her hands that are clasped together so tightly they’re going white.
“They raped her.”
“They,” Mr. Yates says between gritted teeth. “How many?”
“Eight,” I whisper. “They raped her but that wasn’t all of it. She contracted HIV from it.”
Mr. Yates stands, his chair launching backward. “Where is Chase?”
“Dad,” Tanner says, standing too. “Believe me, I felt the same, but goin’ over there and doin’ somethin’ stupid won’t make this any better.”
“Where is he?” Mr. Yates roars.
I flinch and look over to Mrs. Yates, who is sobbing, her head down. My heart breaks into a thousand tiny pieces, and I feel like going over there and hugging her, telling her it’ll be okay, but I know damn well she doesn’t want to hear from me. She doesn’t want my comfort.
“Dad,” Tanner tries again.
“You won’t tell me I’ll find him myself.”
He reaches for his keys and storms out the door, slamming it so hard a picture frame falls off the wall and smashes onto the ground. I stand and rush over, dropping to my knees and picking up the pieces, tears burning my eyelids, vomit rising in my throat. One tear escapes, then two and three, and then a whole river of them stream down my face until my body is shaking and my vision is blurring. I grab at the pieces of glass, trying to pick them up, trying to clean up the broken mess that I will forever think is my fault.
“Callie,” Tanner says, “it’s okay, I’ll get it.”
I ignore him, shoving big shards into my hand so I can throw them away. One shard stabs into my skin, slicing it open, and I just cry harder as blood pools to the surface. I can hear Mrs. Yates sobbing now, loud broken sobs, and I want to claw my fucking ears off so I don’t have to hear that pained sound.
“Callie, stop,” Tanner orders, his voice firm, his big hand curling around my wrist and stopping me from moving any further. “You’re bleeding, stand up. I’ll clean the glass up.”
“I’m sorry,” I sob. “I’m sorry, Tanner.”
“It’s okay, come on.”
He walks me back to where Mrs. Yates is still crying, her head in her hands, her whole body shaking. I stop walking and look to Tanner. “She needs you more than I do right now. I’ll go to the bathroom and clean myself up. Help her.”
He looks at me, the pain in his eyes breaking my heart. I’m causing this pain. I’m making things harder for him. He’s torn between two worlds right now, and I’m right in the middle, making it so much worse.
“You’re hurt and upset,” he says, his voice thick.
“She’s more hurt, and more upset. I’ll go calm down and clean up. Please, help her.”
I turn and walk off, not giving him another option. He lets me go, and I’m kind of thankful because right now, I’m in a bad way.
I head to the bathroom and step inside, closing the door and locking it. I find an old towel in the cupboard and wrap it around my hand, knowing I’ll have to buy them another one but I don’t have anything else to use that won’t make a big mess. Then, with an exhale that I feel to the very depths of my soul, I slide down the wall and drop my head, letting the tears continue to flow.
I cry like that for a good twenty minutes, letting my body tremble and my heart ache the way it needs to. Then, I push to my feet and look into the mirror a my red blotchy face and my swollen eyes. I look horrible. I wash my face with my one good hand and then I unravel the other one and assess the damage. The cut is quite deep, but not enough for stitches, at least, I don’t think it is. I wash it and then wrap it back up before heading out to the living area again.
I’m halfway down the hall when I hear Tanner talking to his mother, and I stop, listening.
I know I shouldn’t, I know this is their time, but my curiosity is stronger than I am right now.
“You tormented her, to seek revenge?” Mrs. Yates asks. “Tanner, I raised you so much better than that.”
“I was dyin’ without Celia, was so fuckin’ broken. I wasn’t thinkin’ straight and I wanted Callie to suffer for what she had done. I knew no better, I wanted to make her feel a fraction of what I was feelin’. What we were all feelin’.”
My heart still twists violently at the memory of what Tanner was doing to me. Will it ever stop hurting? Will I ever think about it and not feel so damned broken inside? What he did, it still burns me to my core. I don’t know if that’s healthy, or if it’ll just fade with time, but I do know that remembering it bothers me deeply.
“Tanner,” she whispers. “That’s not right.”
“No, you’re right, it isn’t. When I found out what really happened to Celia, things were fuckin’ hard. I was all over the place, still am. My mind spins when I think about it, everythin’ fuckin’ hurts. But Callie isn’t to blame, and I owed it to her to help her find Chase and bring him home to face what he did.”
“You and Callie are in a relationship?” Mrs. Yates asks.
“No, we’re not, but I care about her. I do, Mom. She’s a fuckin’ strong woman and she opened my eyes to a lot.”
“You’re playing with fire, Tanner. You have to know that.”
My stomach clenches.
“It’s not goin’ to be easy, but she matters to me.”
“I know that, but you have to know there is too much water under the bridge now for you two to have a healthy relationship. She hit your sister and killed her, maybe Celia did want that, but it happened all the same. You tormented her for it. How can you build trust and love, off such broken foundations?”
I close my eyes, my heart racing.
Is she right?
Of course she’s right.
“It’ll take time, but we’ll get through it,” Tanner goes on, but his voice is hesitant, I can hear it.
“Will you? Will you ever truly forgive her? Will she ever truly forgive you? You’re lying to yourself, son, and I love you enough to not want any more hurt in your life. Time heals nothing, Celia’s death has shown us that. It hurts, and it’ll always hurt. When the feelings become normal, and life takes over, can you honestly tell me you can look at her and not hold resentment, even the smallest amount?”
Tanner goes silent.
His answer.
I know it, even if he doesn’t.
My heart feels like it’s going to launch from my chest. My legs feel like they’re going to give way on me. Everything hurts, everything fucking hurts. I can’t breathe. I can’t take it anymore. I walk out into the living area, straight past them, stopping them mid conversation, and I grab my things. “I need to leave,” I whisper, my head down. “I’ll get you another towel, Mrs. Yates.”
I rush to the front door, just as Tanner calls, “Callie, wait.”
I don’t stop.
I hurry out and to the street, just wanting to get the hell out of there. Reality is crushing, it really is, and it’ll bring you down at times when you think maybe everything might work out. It’ll remind you that you’re living a lie, that it won’t work out, that you’re never going to hav
e what it is you want so desperately.
“Callie!” Tanner yells, grabbing my arm and spinning me around. “Stop, fuck.”
“Let me go, Tanner. I need to leave.”
“You heard what we just said, didn’t you?”
“Yes, and she’s right. She’s right. What the hell are we doing here? Living some fantasy life? Pretending that we’ll be forever okay with the damage we’ve inflicted on one another? This fantasy is just that ... a fantasy.”
“It has been a hard night, and you’re upset. Don’t react because you’re fuckin’ breakin’ right now.”
“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t hold some resentment toward me for what happened to Celia. Even though you know the full story, tell me you don’t look at me and still think, deep down, that if I was watching, she could still possibly be here? Tell me that, and I’ll let this go.”
“Callie ...”
“Answer me, Tanner.”
He exhales and closes his eyes.
I don’t need him to answer.
That action right there is my answer.
“Then she’s right, isn’t she?” I whisper, tears rolling down my cheeks.
I turn and disappear into the darkness.
He doesn’t follow me.
He knows she’s right.
I do, too.
“OH GOD, THANK GOD, I was so worried about you,” Jo says, rushing over as soon as I step through the front door. She throws her arms around me, holding onto me tightly, and I welcome it.
The last three hours of my life, I’ve thought about everything, I’ve gone over everything, I’ve picked it all apart and put it back together again. I’ve faced reality head on. I’ve been completely honest with myself.
Even if honesty feels like a knife to the heart right now.
“Where were you?” she asks, stepping back and holding my shoulders. “I saw what Tanner’s dad did to Chase, I was so worried about how your night went.”
“I went for a drive, found somewhere to sit and thought about everything,” I say, my voice thick and full of emotion. “It was a horrible night, and eye opening in so many ways.”
