by Nick Rossi
What she didn’t love, in fact, what she loathed, was the frequent uncomfortable confrontations with a brother who seemed to really enjoy giving her a hard time, and fighting with a former friend who knew her more than she knew herself. Would she be able to repair friendships and better relations if she were to stay as a 17 year old? She didn’t know. She also didn’t know if she would be willing to if she had been given the opportunity.
“Darcy, I know that when I asked you to make things right, that I was being vague”, Marina said. Her voice was soft and calm, immediately having a calming effect on Darcy. “It was no small task for you to have endured what you have endured for the last few months. It is a testament to who you are as a person”.
Darcy smiled. Was Marina giving her a compliment or a critique?
“You love Teen books. You love worlds that are written in such a way that paradise is what the teenaged years equate to. But now that you’ve lived in the life of a teenage girl that seemingly has everything, I am sure you will tell me that things are not as they seem.”
She laughed out loud. The laugh surprised her. And surprised her again when it echoed off the walls around her.
“But our arrangement had stakes that affected us both. If you made things right, as I’ve asked, you can stay in this life and live the life that you’ve often dreamed about. But, and correct me if I’m wrong, we both know that what you’ve dreamed and what it actually is couldn’t be more different.”
“Not even close,” she said. “I can’t describe it, Marina. I know books are written as an escape for the reader, to put them into a world that they would never, ever get to live and experience firsthand. But I thought that maybe I would get the chance to be that girl that everyone envied, that had easy decisions to make, not fight with friends and faced with angry siblings”.
Marina looked at her, a frown appearing on her brow. Even though the older woman didn’t say a single word, it was as though she heard so much. It was the acknowledgement of her own feelings that Marina seemed to recognize that made her feel something she hadn’t felt in a long, long time – and that was feeling was that she was being heard.
“I am not here to chastise you, my dear Darcy,” Marina finally said. “I am here to see if you’ve kept up your end of the bargain.”
She once more looked around her, taking in her surroundings, scene by scene, as though it was her last possible time.
“Making things right is an adage. Things are never really right. What does 'right' even mean?” Marina asked. “What I think is right is not what you may think is right. And this is exactly what I wanted you to learn, Darcy. Perceptions govern our lives. Decisions are different for everyone, and the impacts of those decisions can change our lives in very alternate ways. And it is those decisions you have had in the last little while that may change the entire course of the lives for both the old Darcy and the new Darcy.”
She felt confused and looked at Marina, riveted by what the woman was saying. Her heart felt much like the scene around her – suspended in time.
“The life you were thrown into was not an easy one. This Darcy had made some bad decisions, and you were forced to contend with them. You had strained relationships at best with you family, friends, and lovers. But the essence that is you shone through. You made attempts to repair those friendships, and you made concentrated efforts to treat people with respect and dignity. And those actions are what has shown me that, yes, Darcy Platt, you have made things right.”
She did not immediately grasp the meaning of the words that had just escape Marina’s lips. She looked at the woman with her head cocked to one side, like a dog who heard a sound that its human owner could not.
“What? You mean I did it? I made things right?” she asked, dumbfounded.
“Yes, Darcy, you did. Making things right isn’t something that is so black and white, and this is what I wanted you to learn. Life is nothing but an extended sequence of events where we learn things about ourselves, others, and the world around us. What we can do from those experiences is learn and love, or just decide to let anger consume us, which we both know, is not what life is meant to be.”
“Oh, Marina,” she said. She felt tears once more fill her eyes and down her cheeks. “Thank you. Thank you for this experience. And I’m thankful that you are able to keep your store.”
“So am I, my darling,” Marina replied, tears glistening in her own eyes. “The store is my life.”
She smiled and reached forward to hug the woman. The electric bolt she felt earlier once again enveloped her but thankfully no montage of uncomfortable images of her new life filled her field of vision. However, images did fill her eyes this time. These images, though, were of the old Darcy’s life.
She saw herself walking her beautiful dog in the park, smiling at acquaintances and at all of the other dogs that she knew. She was then at work laughing with Sylvia. Lastly, she saw herself deeply riveted by a teen fiction book on top of her own bed, in her own apartment. The sheer happiness emanated from the image, and a chill ran up her spine.
“You have a decision to make, Darcy,” Marina finally said, pulling herself away from the tight embrace.
The moment that she was dreading was finally upon her. She felt the heaviness of the imminent decision that she was going to momentarily make press upon her. She at once felt both hot and cold, and goose bumps broke out all over her exposed skin. She was unsure of what she would choose. Did she truly want to be a teenager again? Did she want to experience the heartaches that were sure to come, as well as the highs and lows that would be part of her daily life? It was different when she pulled a book off a shelf at Marina’s bookstore and was immediately thrust into a life where very witty teens essentially lived adult lives within the confines of an oppressive institution such as high school.
But was her real life all that much better? She was newly unemployed and soon very possibly have to make some new living arrangements. But as an adult, she was free to make her own decisions and live the life she wanted.
At once, the two women locked eyes once more and it was like all of the air was sucked out of the room. She felt her stomach tighten with the intensity of the moment. She at once knew what she was going to decide.
At that moment things abruptly changed. Marina disappeared at once and Darcy found herself standing alone in the middle of the dance floor. The room came to life immediately around her. Laughs were heard once more, and the sound of claps bounded off of the walls. As soon as they began, they were silenced as the students saw Darcy standing by herself in the middle of the dance floor.
Chrissy, typically not missing a beat took in Darcy before her and continued on her speech.
“Ok, Darcy, let me at least announce the Prom King and Queen before you walk up here. You may not have won it after all,” she said, laughter in voice but also with the characteristic Chrissy sharp biting undertone.
She tried to give the illusion that she was joking about it all, and quickly made her way back to the table and sat beside Charlie. Bennett shot her a concerned glance but she nodded and refocused her attention on Chrissy.
“Since Darcy is so eager for me to make the announcement, here we go,” Chrissy went on, taking an envelope from a student off to the right of the stage and began to open it.
“So the Prom King is….” she said, purposely building up the suspense that was palpable amongst the crowd. “Luke Silver.”
She began to clap and whistle loudly, and then suddenly remembered that she hadn’t seen Luke at all that evening. But, without a moment even elapsed by, Luke appeared, dapper and handsome in a tuxedo, clearly not abiding by the dress code rules. He ran to the stage, a huge smile on his lips, and let Chrissy hand him the staff that they got as the award for the winner of Prom King.
“And now for the Prom Queen,” Chrissy said, opening another envelope quickly. She was visibly having a hard time opening the envelope.
“I’m so nervous!” she said as she read the name
in the envelope. Darcy at first thought she saw a frown slowly appear on Chrissy’s face but she shook it off.
“Well, it looks like she wasn’t wrong after all,” Chrissy giggled. “Our Prom Queen is Darcy Platt.”
The room erupted into a chorus of cheers and applause. Charlie was on his feet immediately and gave her a tight, warm hug and a soft kiss on her lips. She was stunned, and stayed stunned as she walked slowly towards the front of the room where the stage loomed.
As she climbed the stage, she looked back and saw Claire clapping and whistling enthusiastically for her. Rena, too, was caught up in the moment and was being more vocal than she had ever heard her be. She bent forward gently a Chrissy placed the golden Tiara on her head. She looked over at Luke who was smiling at her.
“Ladies and Gentlemen: Flint Ridge’s Prom King and Queen,” Chrissy yelled and once again the room filled with applause and cheers.
She reached over to Luke and took his hand and smiled. She was overcome with the scene before her, and she couldn’t help but remember her first attempt to attend the prom the first time around in her yellowed dress and non-date. This was much better.
Before the applause ended, she saw Marina looking up at her from the back of the room. She looked at the woman and smiled. The smile that Marina returned literally lit up the room. She squeezed Luke’s hand, and looked happily upon Claire, Bennett and Charlie one final time before slowly walking down the steps off the stage, across the dance floor, and to Marina. She grabbed the woman’s hand and looked back one final time at the scene before her.
Much like the montage of images earlier in the evening of the two lives she’s led, this time she saw herself on stage, relishing the win of Prom Queen, and listening to the applause that was for her. She smiled as she held Marina’s hand and saw the sheer joy and purity of happiness on the old/new her on stage as she followed Marina out of the hall and into the night.
Being a teenager once was more than enough experience and emotions for her. Sure, being an adult had its more than fair share of ups and downs, and the ups were much higher and the downs much deeper. But the choices she made were hers to make. She didn't have to rely on others to make up her mind, and she could do what she wanted when she wanted. She was thankful for this experience of being 17 again, but would she want to relive the peaks and valleys of early adulthood? Of her first true heartbreak? Of the stresses of finding a job? Of finding a lover? Of a parent’s death? Of a siblings sadness? She shook her head to her own thoughts as she let Marina guide her out of the school and into the darkness of the night that surrounded her like a warm sweater – gentle and soft. And full of love.
***
Acknowledgements
I could not have written this story without the constant support from MM. Your words of encouragement and ability to make me laugh are the only two reasons I finished this book at all. To the awesome MJM for designing the most amazing, far-out, super cool book cover ever! ST – thanks for always knowing that I could do this. To the wonderful IJ and CU for taking the time to edit Darcy's story and providing me with key insight. For my beautiful LMR – wish you were here to see that I did it. I know that you're beaming at us from above. Much love and thanks to my fam and to LECRM for knowing the exact perfect time when I needed a snuggle.
About the Author
Nick Rossi lives in Toronto, Canada, with his two-legged and four-legged companions.
When he's not writing, Nick loves to dissect pop culture, planning his imminent move to New York City, and not sweating the small stuff. He has one furry daughter who may, or may not, have made a cameo in Page-Turner.
