Captivating Clay (Team Loco #3)

by Amy Sparling

  I take a deep breath and force a smile. “We should send this to Marcus. I bet Team Loco would love to show off how two of its teammates were racing together since we were kids.”

  “Totally,” Zach says. He takes the photo out of the clear plastic of the photo album. “Hey man, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  His brow wrinkles. “You look weird.”

  I shrug it off. “Just nostalgic.”

  He nods, so my answer must have been good enough for him. “I’m gonna go scan this photo and email it to Marcus.”

  When I head back into the living room, everyone seems to be having a good time. Keanna is here, and she must have flown in today because I’m pretty sure she wasn’t here last night. It’s hard to tell with the girlfriends because they’re always coming and going, joining Zach, Jett, and Aiden whenever they have time in their schedules. As always, I find myself searching for Avery in the group, and I find her curled up in the corner of the couch, still snuggling with that fleece blanket.

  All the words I wish I could tell her build up in my heart and I know I can’t say a word of them until we’re alone again.

  Zach’s mom walks into the room, holding a small laptop. “Okay guys, the pizza is ordered. It’ll be here in twenty minutes according to the little pizza tracker thingy.”

  “Avery doesn’t need any pizza,” Bree says in this flirty way that annoys me.

  “Oh no,” Zach’s mom says. “Can you eat pizza? I should have asked before ordering it.”

  Avery shakes her head. “I love pizza.”

  “She has a date,” Bree says, playfully elbowing her.

  Zach’s mom and the girls are now all interested in hearing about it. Avery looks embarrassed as she explains that Tom asked her out to dinner. Zach walks over and tells her that Tom is “such a good guy.” Please. He’s just some pathetic loser. I bet he can’t ride a dirt bike to save his life.

  I guess I should have known that she would still go on this stupid date. Asking her not to go doesn’t stop her. I put my earbuds in, take a seat at the kitchen table, and crank up the music as loud as it’ll go.

  Tomorrow morning we’re flying to Vegas for the fifth and final training camp. This one will suck because we’re also doing a ton of PR and Team Loco marketing crap. I’ve seen some of the plans in the emails Marcus sends us, and I know that at least one of the photoshoots involves wearing a Santa hat while sitting on our dirt bikes. I think the rest of the guys are also dreading tomorrow’s flight to Vegas because we’ll be busy as hell for twenty-four hours. Then we’ll be heading home and this nightmare will finally be over.

  After eating a ton of pizza at Zach’s house, we all head to a place called Blue’s Bar. Well, not all of us. A certain girl with dark hair and a beautiful smile has escaped the group for the night. I didn’t leave the kitchen when Tom showed up to take Avery out to dinner. I couldn’t even look her way as she left. I know it’s probably nothing. Even if she does like him and wants to date him, what kind of relationship would that be? She lives in Texas and he lives in Tennessee.

  That doesn’t stop me from hating every second of it, though.

  Blue’s is this rinky-dink small town hang out that smells like smoke and sawdust. There’s a country band playing cover songs in the corner, and more than a few drunk women in their fifties who stare us down like we’re a slab of steak.

  We grab a pool table and play a few games, but my heart’s not in it. I keep thinking about Avery’s date and wondering how it’s going. As much as I want to hate Tom, I know I shouldn’t. He’s a nice guy and one of Zach’s best friends. He’s probably giving Avery a much better date than I ever could. I wouldn’t even know where to start.

  An hour goes by, and then another. My pool skills get worse with each minute that I’m thinking of Avery and her date. I can’t concentrate. I don’t bother joining the conversation with my teammates, but no one seems to care. They’re used to me keeping to myself. A few women try to hit on me, but I do what I always do when I want to be left alone, and it does a great job of scaring them away. I’m not here to meet women. I don’t care for one night stands. I don’t care for relationships. I am just fine on my own.

  It’s just after nine o’clock when Avery walks into the bar. She’s all smiles as she hugs Keanna and Bree, despite the fact that she’s alone. I scan the crowd but I don’t see Tom. My heart races. If she’s alone then her date didn’t go well. Maybe I haven’t completely lost her yet.

  Chapter 14

  Keanna and Bree swarm me like paparazzi. They’re dying to know how my dinner date went, and I don’t even know what to tell them. Tom is nice and a total gentleman, and the food was great, and I had a nice time. But underneath it all, the entire night was ruined because I couldn’t stop thinking about Clay. I must have relived that conversation we had in the garage a hundred times while I was hanging out with Tom. I don’t even remember what Tom and I talked about because I was too preoccupied. I’m a terrible person. I should have focused all my energy on my date.

  “It was fun,” I say because the girls want to know something.

  “Just fun?” Keanna says, her lips sliding into a frown.

  “She doesn’t like him,” Bree says, frowning. “That’s okay, though.”

  I shrug. “I don’t even know why he asked me out because it’s kind of weird, you know? He lives so far away from me.”

  Bree nods. “It was kind of weird, but oh well. At least you had fun, right?”

  “It was fun,” I say again, nodding. I glance across the pool table and lock eyes with Clay. He’s holding a pool stick and waiting on Jett to take his turn. I expect him to look away, but he doesn’t. He just watches me with that deep intensity until I look away.

  “Hey, Avery,” Zach calls out from across the pool table. “Where is Tom?”

  “He had to help a friend whose truck broke down,” I say, raising my voice over the loud music. “He dropped me off.”

  Zach nods. “That sounds like Tom. Always helping people.”

  Keanna challenges me to a game of pool, and we take the table next to the guys. I’ve only played pool a few times so I totally suck at it, but I’ll welcome anything that takes my mind off Clay, who is looking absolutely gorgeous right now. He’s wearing dark jeans and a black Henley sweater. Every time I glance up from the pool table, he’s watching me. He’s not even trying to hide it, either.

  As the time passes, I get more aggravated. First he says he doesn’t like me, then he says he does. Sometimes he’s cold and scary and sometimes he’s lending me his hoodie. I have to get to the bottom of this or I’ll just drive myself crazy. As soon as Clay walks off to the restroom, I tell the girls I have to pee and then I sneak off and wait for him.

  The bathrooms are in the far corner of the bar and no one from Team Loco can see me right now. Good. I don’t need an audience. I just need to figure out what the hell is going on with Clay. When he walks out of the bathroom, I step in front of him, blocking his path. His eyes widen in surprise.

  “Avery.”

  I hold my head up even though I want to run away. “We need to finish our conversation from the garage.”

  A muscle in his jaw twitches. “No, we don’t.”

  “Yes, we do.”

  The music is so loud that I have to shout just to have a quiet conversation with him. Clay tries to side step me and I move over, blocking him. “Clay… talk to me.”

  He swallows. “There is nothing to talk about. I didn’t want you going out with that guy, but you did, and that’s fine. It’s your life. We are just coworkers, so let’s leave it at that.”

  He sounds exhausted. Like he’s lost all of that fire he’d had inside of him when he confronted me in the garage. That should be a good thing, but it hurts me. I liked when he was fired up. I liked knowing that he liked me. Now he’s acting like none of that happened.

  He shoves his hands in his pockets and gives me an impatient look. I know he wants to leave but he’s
being kind enough to wait for me to step out of his way. Yeah, well, I’m not going to do that.

  “I don’t like Tom,” I say. “I went to dinner with him because I felt obligated to.”

  Clay’s expression hardens. “I don’t care.”

  I put a hand on his chest. His gaze drops down to my fingers and I pull my hand away, feeling suddenly so stupid for touching him. “Sorry—” I stutter. “Look, this is weird, I know, but I just wanted to talk to you. It felt like maybe you liked me back in the garage…”

  “I don’t.”

  His words hit me like a slap in the face. He must notice the pain he causes me because his shoulders sag and he reaches up and lightly touches my cheek. “Avery… I don’t mean it in a bad way. I want to like you, but I can’t.”

  “Because I’m an intern?” I say.

  His bottom lip drags under his teeth, and he watches me for a few seconds. All around us people are getting drunk and dancing and the loud country music is making the floor vibrate, but I’m only focused on him. “No,” he says finally, answering my question. “It’s because this will never work.”

  My throat feels dry. This is the most I’ve gotten out of him since we met. “Why can’t it work?” I ask, wondering if I’m pushing my luck.

  He shrugs. “Just forget about me, okay? I’m a lost cause. Let’s not be stupid and try to start something between us that will never work. I’m sorry I talked to you in the garage. That was a mistake.”

  He doesn’t wait for me to reply before he steps around me, leaving me all alone in this darkened corner of the bar with nothing but the lingering scent of his cologne and the pain of rejection.

  It’s four in the morning when we pile into the airport. Bree stayed behind in Tennessee, but Keanna is here with the rest of the guys and Marcus is meeting us in Vegas. I am exhausted beyond measure because after last night’s fiasco with Clay, I haven’t slept a bit. I’m pretty sure I just laid awake in my hotel all freaking night until my alarm went off thirty minutes ago. Maybe I can sleep on the plane.

  Keanna does what she normally does at airports and snuggles against Jett while they wait in the seating area of our terminal. Since Clay is there, earbuds helping him ignore the world, I decide to walk around the airport. I am officially done trying to be his friend. Even though deep down I secretly think Clay might still have a crush on me, and in a place in my heart that’s even deeper down, I know I secretly still have a crush on him, I am done caring about it. If he wants me to stay away from him, I will.

  Besides, I should be looking for a guy who’s not so closed off and mean all the time. I want a guy like the rest of the Team Loco guys. They’re all friendly and sweet and outgoing. Clay is the black sheep of Team Loco. He’s going to live his entire life alone if he keeps pushing everyone away.

  I find another section of the airport that has leather reclining chairs instead of the hard plastic chairs in our terminal. There’s still forty-five minutes until we board, so I sink into a recliner and close my eyes for a moment after setting my phone timer for thirty minutes. Even with the hustle and bustle of an airport, I find myself drifting off to sleep.

  I wake up to my phone buzzing in my hand. It’s time to head back to the terminal but I’m so tired I want to keep my eyes closed a little longer. When I finally do blink them awake, I look down at my phone to turn off the timer.

  Oh crap.

  The timer has been running for fifteen minutes! I jump up and grab my suitcase, not even bothering with the handle or the wheels as I clutch it to my chest and run across the airport to my terminal. When I arrive, the last person is boarding the plane.

  “I’m here!” I call out, waving my boarding pass in the air.

  “You barely made it,” the woman at the counter says with a laugh as she scans my ticket.

  I breathe a sigh of relief. That would have been bad. Marcus would have been so pissed if I had to buy another ticket and show up late. He’s already emailed me the itinerary and I’ll scheduled to be super busy today. I start to walk away but the woman stops me.

  “You’ll have to check your bag,” she says, slipping a paper tag around my suitcase handle. “The overhead bins are full.”

  I sigh, but I let her take my suitcase. Marcus had told me on my first flight with Team Loco that it’s always best to get on the plane first that way there’s room for your bag on the plane. I guess he wasn’t joking.

  I race down the tarmac and onto the plane, my chest heaving from all the rushing. I hate that the first thing I see is Clay, sitting alone in his aisle up at the front, earbuds in, watching me with that casual expression he always has. Swallowing, I pretend I didn’t see him and I glance down the aisle, looking for a place to sit. My stomach lurches into my throat. I can’t find an empty seat.

  One aisle toward the back has an empty seat but the larger than life man sitting next to it is spilling over the armrest, and I really, really don’t want to sit there. I glance around the small plane, panic rising in my throat as I nervously look for somewhere to sit.

  “The plane is full,” some older woman says to my right. She points toward Clay. “That’s the only empty seat, I think.”

  I exhale and look at Clay. “I’ll ask someone to switch seats with me,” I say.

  He grabs my arm as I start to walk away. “Just sit down.”

  I’m grateful for his kindness even if he’s only doing it because the plane is full. I shrink up as small as I can get as I sit next to him, keeping my elbows tucked in toward my body. I angle myself toward the center aisle so I don’t have to look at him.

  I’m so tired, I can feel myself drifting off to sleep as the plane takes off. Normally I might be scared that I’d snore or something embarrassing, but screw Clay. I don’t care what he thinks of me. I curl up in my chair and try to catch up on all the sleep I missed while I was thinking about him last night. It doesn’t help that I can smell his cologne next to me, or that my entire body feels like it’s electrified because he’s so close to me, but I try to put him out of my thoughts anyway.

  I don’t know how much time passes, but soon I’m jolted awake. It feels like I’m falling. I flail and jump, and reach for the armrest. My heart is pounding. The plane is shaking and dropping and I can’t think straight. I’m woozy from sleep and panicked from the sensation of falling. What is happening?

  “This is your captain,” a voice says over the speaker. “We’re experiencing some pretty severe turbulence, but rest assured, we will fly out of it in about twenty minutes.”

  The pilot’s soothing voice does nothing to soothe me. The plane rocks and jolts and feels like it’s going to drop out of the sky. Somewhere behind me, a child is crying, and another woman is asking for a vomit bag.

  Oh, gross.

  I sit up straight, my knuckles going white on the armrest. I feel sick. I feel scared. I’ve never felt turbulence like this before. Why isn’t everyone freaking out?

  “You okay?” Clay’s voice is soft next to me. After falling asleep, I had forgotten he was even here.

  I turn to him now, fear making me unable to speak. The plane swoops down again and I flinch. “I don’t like this,” I say quietly, closing my eyes tightly.

  “Hey, it’ll be okay,” Clay murmurs. “It’s just turbulence.”

  “Have you felt it this bad before?” I ask, desperate for him to tell me it’ll be fine. That this is normal.

  He nods. “A few times.”

  “Are you lying?”

  His serious expression splits into a grin. “I’m not lying, Avery. We’ll be fine.”

  I nod quickly, but I don’t feel any better. The plane is jolting like a roller coaster ride, but we’re not safely attached to any railings on the ground. We’re floating in the air. There’s a lump in my throat and tears spring to my eyes.

  “Hey, come here,” Clay says. His arm wraps around me and pulls me to his chest. I feel his other hand wrap around the back of my head and he holds me tightly against him. I close my eyes, burying
my face in his shirt. It smells like him, and I feel a little calmer, but I’m still terrified.

  “You’re okay,” he says against my hair. “You’ll be okay.”

  Chapter 15

  I’ve completely screwed everything up. One minute I’m deciding that I’ll confess my feelings to her, and then the next minute I tell her not to like me. It shouldn’t be this complicated. I’m young and I’m attracted to women, so obviously I’ll find one beautiful every now and then. That’s normal. I can find a woman attractive, but it’s never changed me like this. What’s not normal is that a beautiful girl has ripped through my defenses and actually made me feel something.

  Avery clung to me for the rest of the flight. Even after the turbulence stopped, she was still wrapped around my arm, her head resting on my shoulder. After a few minutes, I realized she had fallen asleep. I did my best not to move so I wouldn’t disturb her. I kept glancing down at her soft features, serene in sleep. It made me smile. It made my chest hurt. It made me think a lot of things.

  But I know this can never be a thing. It doesn’t matter that my heart lights up whenever she talks to me. It doesn’t matter that I get so jealous I want to punch stuff when another guy is interested in her. I can never date her. I tick off the reasons why in my head:

  She lives too far away

  She’ll just get sick of me like everyone else

  Motocross is my career and I can’t get sidetracked from it

  I have absolutely no idea how to be a boyfriend

  It’s the last reason that really hits home. I know the guys can make a traveling-racing-long distance relationship work. Eventually they all moved next to their girlfriends, except for Jett who I think always lived next to his girlfriend. The distance isn’t a big deal. What would surely ruin things between Avery and me is that I have no idea how to treat her right. I’ve spent my entire life looking out for myself.